❝ you don't know what it was like. ❞

―

CHAE LAUGHED WHEN SHE ENTERED THE BACKYARD OF MIYAGI-DO.

When Hawk had texted her the night before saying that he was dyeing his mohawk, the very last thing that she was expecting was to see him sporting the American flag spiked on top of his head. From the moment she laid her eyes on it, she couldn't stop laughing. The more she looked at it, the more she laughed. Hawk stared at her, a pout on his face.

"You hate it..." Hawk said with a disappointed sigh.

"It's so bad," Chae replied, continuing to laugh. "You have a literal flag on your head."

"Dude, what did you do to your hair?" a voice spoke, followed by a chuckle.

Chae turned around to see Decha standing behind her. Achara followed close behind him, her eyes wide and glued to Hawk's hair.

"Yeah, go 'Merica!" Decha teased him, raising his fist in the air and doing his best country accent.

Achara laughed, shaking her head. She was finally able to look away from Hawk's hair long enough to join in on the teasing. "Hey, maybe we should start calling you Eagle instead of Hawk."

Hawk crossed his arms. "You guys are so mean."

"We are not mean." Chae shook her head. "We are speaking the truth but also messing with you. I hate to say it, but it's kind of cool in a weird way. But only a little. Not a lot."

A small spread on Hawk's face. "You know what? I'll take it. Thanks, Chae."

Chae smiled back at him. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. Hawk looked down at her, a pink tint forming on his cheeks. Chae just rocked back and forth on her heels, looking up at him with a soft smile. Decha opened his mouth to tease them, but Achara gripped his forearm tightly and started to pull him away.

Johnny's voice sounded through the backyard, asking them to fall in. The Miyagi-Do students gathered in front of the sparring deck where Johnny and Daniel stood. Decha claimed a spot next to Demetri, with Hawk to his right. Chae was next to Hawk.

Achara stood next to Sam. The two girls shared a smile with each other before they faced the front. Miguel was beside Achara, watching the interaction before he turned his head to look at his senseis. Ever since the boys night, his mind had been lingering on the possibility of still being in love with Achara. It was all that he could think about despite how many times he tried to will himself to stop.

"The Sekai Taikai is coming," Johnny spoke, walking between the rows, pulling Miguel from his thoughts. "It's time for us to pick our nine most badass fighters."

"And there are no easy decisions," Daniel continued, walking past the front row. "We know you all wanna go to Barcelona."

"Some of you think you're shoo-ins," Johnny continued. "That you're at the top of your game, and that nothing or no one can stop you."

"And some of you think you're the underdog and you don't know if you have what it takes," Daniel added. "And that you feel left out and left behind."

"But it's a level playing field," Johnny spoke again. "Anything can happen."

"Each and every one of you has a shot," Daniel encouraged them. "So, as we make our evaluations, do your best."

"Now is not the time to puss out," Johnny commented.

"Even though we're competing against each other, we are still one dojo," Daniel told his students as he stood on the sparring deck. "And it's time to bring out the best in all of us."

"So," Johnny glanced around at the group of teens, standing next to Daniel, "which one of you has what it takes to be in our top nine?"

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Achara walked down the halls of West Valley alongside Sam. Next to her was Miguel, and close behind the three of them were Tory and Robby. Their faces sported smiles as they discussed the Sekai Taikai.

"All right, so do y'all think that there's any chance we don't make it in the top nine?" Miguel asked as the bell rang throughout the hall.

"No doubts whatsoever," Achara replied confidently.

Tory scoffed, nodding her head in agreement. "Maybe when hell freezes over."

Achara let out a small chuckle, shaking her head at the ground as she continued to walk down the hallway with the group.

"Let's hope there's not a tournament category for humility," Sam joked.

"Oh, come on," Robby responded. "We've got two All Valley champs and two runner-ups."

Achara smiled at Decha and nodded her head toward him as she passed him in the hallway. He leaned up against the wall, standing next to Demetri as they too discussed the Sekai Taikai with Hawk and Chae.

"I mean, the three of you," Demetri said as he pointed between Hawk, Decha, and Chae, "are all no-brainers. It's really only that ninth spot that's up for grabs."

"Yeah, and it's yours for the taking," Hawk told him as they started walking down the hallway.

"I appreciate the support, but I ran a statistical analysis," Demetri spoke. "And while there is an 18% chance that you're right, the smart money is on Kenny." He turned his head to look at Decha. "I mean, he did beat you in that head-to-head."

Decha scoffed. "Yeah, with a cheap shot."

Demetri nodded his head, mumbling a soft apology. "Cheap shot, notwithstanding."

"Payne's got power. But so do you," Hawk explained to Demetri. "Don't count yourself out, man."

Chae, who had been taking in the conversation and listening instead of talking, nodded her head. "He's right. You are surprisingly a decent fighter with your own skills and strengths."

Decha wrapped his arm around Demetri's shoulders, receiving a few looks from some of their peers. A few of the other students at West Valley still could not believe that out of everyone, Demetri was the person that Decha had been in a relationship with the longest. Neither one of them cared about the stares. It didn't matter what anyone else thought.

"They're right. That ninth spot is going to be yours for sure," Decha told Demetri. "Imagine...me and you in Barcelona together."

Demetri gulped, staring straight ahead with his eyes humorously wide. "I am imagining things...very vividly."

Hawk and Chae turned to look at each other with their faces curled up in disgust. Chae pretended to fake gag before she and Hawk broke out into a small chorus of laughter. Decha held up his middle finger and flipped them both off.

"For the time being, I prefer to focus on something actually achievable," Demetri changed the subject. "Getting into MIT. Early action decisions come out any day now, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Hawk responded.

Chae tilted her head upward to look at Hawk. She scrunched her eyebrows together at the expression on his face. It was the same face he had been getting for weeks now, every time Demetri mentioned MIT, and she couldn't figure out why.

"Hey, man, come on," Demetri told him. "Have no fear. I may not have confidence about becoming a world karate champion, but I know that MIT cannot turn down the Binary Bros."

Chae giggled. "Demetri and Eli, binary brothers..."

"You've seen the videos?" Decha asked her.

Chae nodded. "I begged Eli to show me after I heard his mom talking about them."

"Begged me?" Hawk spoke so loudly that a few people stared at him. "You threatened to smack me in the face with a pillow, and then when I said no, you proceeded to aggressively hit me with a pillow repeatedly."

Decha and Demetri started to laugh.

"Oh, I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, Decha," Chae said, causing his laughter to stop.

Decha's eyebrows furrowed together.

"I've seen embarrassing videos of you too, and Eli did not have to show me them," Chae explained. "The internet...lots of things are there."

Decha shook his head. "You don't mean..."

"There's Hydrogen and Helium..." Chae started to sing.

Decha closed his eyes and shook his head. He had yet to live that down. Other students still came up to him and randomly started singing it.

"You're so mean sometimes," Decha told Chae. "Has anyone ever told you that?"

Chae nodded, followed by a satisfied smile. "Many times. It's refreshing."

Hawk smiled down at her as they turned the corner and continued to walk to class.

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Daniel and Johnny stood front and center on the sparring deck. Between them was a man that looked oddly familiar, yet no one could exactly place where they had seen him before.

"Please welcome our guest for the weekend, Sensei Barnes," Daniel announced.

Confused murmurs and chatter erupted from the students of Miyagi-Do as they glanced around at one another, trying to figure out how they recognized the man in front of them.

"Isn't that the guy who was at the Silver house fight?"

"Silence!" Sensei Barnes shouted.

The chatter instantly came to a halt, causing everyone to stand taller and look straight ahead.

"In order to keep things unbiased, we brought in Sensei Barnes to observe and then select our top nine," Daniel continued to say.

"During my years as the Tournament Terror, all I wanted was to be in the Sekai Taikai. But I blew my chance," Sensei Barnes said, turning his head to look at Daniel and then facing the front once again. "I am here to ensure that you maximize yours."

All eyes followed Sensei Barnes as he stepped down from the sparring deck. "Everyone I know who has participated in this has horror stories."

Achara stared at him as he looked directly at her before he began moving down the row. She turned her head to look at Sam, and the two girls shared a small glance of wariness before turning away from each other.

"This thing is intense," Sensei Barnes proceeded as he walked down the row. "Unpredictable. People have died. Move!" He shouted, causing one of the students to jump. "Who's ready for that?"

"Wait. Ready for the tournament or to die?" Demetri asked in confusion.

"For the tournament I hope," Decha whispered in response.

"I will do to you what the Sakai Taikai will do," Sensei Barnes yelled at them, moving back up to the front. "I will surprise you with events. I will push you to your limits, and if any of you delicate flowers feel like going to your senseis and crying, don't. I've been given full authority for these eliminations."

"Selections," Daniel corrected. "Let's keep this positive."

Sensei Barnes looked over his shoulder at him. "You came to me. The deal was my way or the highway."

Daniel and Johnny shared a glance with one another as Sensei Barnes turned back around.

"Get on the sparring deck," Sensei Barnes instructed. "Now!"

At the sound of his shouting, they all jumped and started to step onto the deck. They stared at him, waiting for his next instruction. Sensei Barnes spoke to Daniel before he turned around and addressed the group of teens, once again having to shout at them to stop their chatter.

"To survive the first round you will need to show me excellence in speed," Sensei Barnes told them. "Strength. Endurance. And teamwork."

First up, Sensei Barnes paired them up and took note in his small journal of how well they worked with their partner fighting against another pair. Decha was paired up with Chae, and after the fight at the frat house, they already knew they could work well together. Sensei Barnes had put them up against Demetri and Hawk, which the four of them had found humorous. Sensei Barnes had not been amused.

Achara and Sam were partnered together, and Sensei Barnes put them up against Miguel and Robby. Then, the eight of them were tasked with sparring with each other while Sensei Barnes observed on the sidelines.

The next task was board breaking, which was pretty easy. Sensei Barnes had given Decha a thumbs up and gave Achara and Chae impressed nods.

Having to do wall sits against the fence while holding a heavy rock proved to be a challenge. Achara closed her eyes and held it out in front of her, breathing in and out as she tried not to focus on the sounds of the others around her falling over. She was trying to ignore the sharp pain piercing her legs.

Decha stared straight ahead, trying to avoid looking at anyone else. He could feel his arms starting to burn and his legs shaking, but he remained upright. He made the mistake of turning his head to look at Chae. He furrowed his eyebrows after seeing that she was standing as solid as the rock she held out in front of her. She wasn't shaking at all and didn't even look like she was struggling in the slightest.

Decha's foot slipped out from under him and he fell to the ground, causing Sensei Barnes to shake his head at him in disappointment. Achara turned her head and saw Decha sitting on the ground next to her and followed his line of sight to Chae. She tilted her head in confusion at the girl. Chae turned to her and gave her a smile. Achara's knee gave out, and she joined Decha on the ground with a frustrated sigh.

Chae turned her head, looking at Sensei Barnes. He nodded his head at her approvingly, ignoring Devon, who was still shakily standing against the fence. Chae thought that this was easy compared to the difficult tasks that her mother and grandfather would make her do when she was still under their teachings. She once climbed a mountain with an entire backpack full of rocks on her back. This was nothing.

For the next challenge, the students of Miyagi-Do were not expecting for Sensei Barnes to walk off and then return a few minutes later carrying a cage full of chickens. Murmurs of confusion spread over them as they watched the man set the cage down on the grass and explain to them that he wanted them to catch one of the chickens.

They chased the chickens around the dojo until someone caught one. Chae kept clucking at them, hoping that it would make them come to her, but it wasn't helping at all. Decha kept coming close to grabbing one, but it seemed like they always slipped out of his hands at the last second. It reminded him of when Daniel wanted them to catch a koi fish from the pond. Achara kept chasing the chickens, but they kept running away from her. She finally managed to find one hiding under one of the decks and tried to coax it out, but then it pinched her finger with its beak when she tried to reach for it.

In the end, Kenny was the one who ended up being victorious in catching a chicken. The students once again stood in front of the sparring deck once all of the challenges were over, out of breath and sweaty.

"Congratulations," Sensei Barnes told them. "You didn't die. Still, half of you wouldn't last one match at the Sekai Taikai. To the fourteen who might, join me up here when I call your name."

Achara and Decha exchanged a glance with each other while Sensei Barnes opened his journal. They directed their attention back to him and waited for him to start calling out names.

"Hawk. Robby. Miguel. Achara."

Achara smiled as she stepped onto the sparring deck, the rest of the dojo continuing to clap. Decha clapped even louder, cheering her name.

"Sam. Tory. Decha."

Achara cheered loudly for both Sam and Decha as they stepped on the sparring deck. Achara pulled Decha into a side hug before he stood on the other side of Sensei Barnes.

"Muscles."

The clapping slowly stopped. Hushed whispers of confusion spread over everyone as they looked around, wondering who he was talking about.

"Yeah, you," Sensei Barnes pointed at Mitch.

"I have a new nickname?" Mitch asked.

Sensei Barnes nodded his head to the deck. "Get up here."

"I have a new nickname!" Mitch yelled excitedly.

The clapping as he ran up to the sparring deck. He took his spot next to Tory and nodded his head toward her and Sam.

"What's up, ladies?" Mitch said to her and Sam, holding his hand out. "Name's Muscles. Nice to meet you."

Achara glared at him, causing him to quickly retract his hand and put it down by his side. Decha chuckled, shaking his head as Sensei Barnes ignored them.

"Kenny. Good job. No one ever catches the chicken."

The clapping continued as he called out more names.

"Chae-Rin."

Chae felt like she could finally breathe. She had been holding her breath for so long, just waiting for him to call her name. She walked onto the sparring deck steps with her hands behind her back and her head held high. Hawk gave her a thumbs up, and she simply nodded at him in response before turning her back to him. Hawk furrowed his eyebrows and turned to look at Miguel and Robby, who were both looking at him with confused expressions of their own at the interaction.

"Nate. Chris. Demetri."

Decha started cheering for Demetri when his name was called and gave him a high five when he passed him on the sparring deck.

"Oh, right. Devon. And the last name. Anthony."

Devon and Anthony both joined the others, completing the top fourteen.

"Congratulations, top fourteen," Sensei Barnes spoke. "Meet me back here tomorrow for round two. To the rest of you, you're out. Better luck next time."

────────────

Chae stood in the backyard of Miyagi-Do, aggressively hitting a punching bag with her fists over and over. She could hear Sensei Barnes' voice calling out names in her head. It did not seem to matter how many times the others assured her that the order in which he had called out their names didn't matter; Chae had convinced herself that it had. Or rather the voice in the back of her mind that resembled her mother's had—the one who was constantly telling her that she wasn't good enough.

He has called her name after Mitch. Mitch. And that made Chae's blood boil. It lit a fire that burned deep inside of her, fueling the rage that she had not felt since she trained in her early teen years when she was still blinded by her mother and grandfather's teachings. She had outshined nearly everyone in' almost all of Sensei Barnes' challenges, yet he hadn't seemed to care more than giving her nods of approval.

She could hear her mother's words echoing in her head: Strength, determination. That is the Way of the Fist. Nothing less. Chae had to remind herself that she wasn't that girl anymore. She wasn't the girl who used the Way of the Fist as a means of controlling her emotions and her feelings.

The epitome of weakness lies within you. Her mother's voice repeated the words she had spoken to her the night of the fight at Cobra Kai. You're just a fragile little girl.

Chae shook her head and started hitting the punching bag even harder, causing several of the other students in the dojo to stop training and turn to look at her. Devon raised an eyebrow at her and walked across the dojo. She placed her hand on Chae's shoulder, causing her to stop and turn to look at her.

"Hey, are you okay?" Devon asked.

Chae nodded her head. "I'm fine."

Devon looked at her skeptically. "You don't look fine. Why don't you take a break? Maybe get some water?"

"Devon, I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine," Chae insisted.

"Chae, look, you were always nice to me when we were both in Cobra Kai, and I just wanted to make sure that you—"

"Devon, I'm fine," Chae cut her off. "Go finish training."

Chae immediately went back to hitting the punching bag. Devon sighed in defeat and turned on her heels. Chae remained focused on the punching bag in front of her, throwing punches at it repeatedly. She added an occasional kick every so often.

"Chae?" Hawk's voice came about thirty minutes later.

Chae turned her head, barely even bothering to look at him before she directed her attention back to the bag in front of her.

"You should take a break," Hawk told her. "You've been going at this for hours."

"I don't need a break," Chae responded, continuing to hit the bag. "I need to keep training. I need to do this."

"No, what you need to do is take a break," Hawk replied, speaking calmly.

Chae shook her head. "No. I'm fine. I need to make sure that I'm at the top of my game for tomorrow."

"And to do that you need to be well rested," Hawk tried telling her. "You're overworking yourself."

"I'm not overworking myself," Chae argued. "Trust me. I'm fine."

Hawk shook his head. "You're not fine. Look at yourself... Chae, you look like you're about to faint."

Chae rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to faint."

She continued to punch the punching bag even harder, completely ignoring Hawk's pleas for her to stop.

"Chae, stop!" Hawk shouted.

Chae came to an abrupt halt. She held her fists up in front of her and slowly lowered them to her sides before she turned to look at him. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she breathed heavily. Her shirt was covered in sweat, and her bangs were sticking to her forehead.

"You don't understand," Chae said softly. "I need this, Eli."

"Why?" Eli asked. "Why do you need this so badly that you're pushing yourself so hard?"

"Because I have to prove myself," Chae answered.

"To who? To your mother?" Hawk questioned, crossing her arms against his chest. "She treated you like a weapon of destruction, not a daughter. She abused you!And you're still trying to please her?"

Chae's face fell, and she shook her head. "She didn't abuse me."

That wasn't true. That couldn't be true.

"She did, Chae. Whether you want to see it that way or not. She did." Hawk stepped forward and grabbed Chae's hand. "The way she treated you—belittled you. She was more concerned about teaching you how to fight than giving you an actual childhood. She made you train with her—she's hit you and has used karate as an excuse. Don't you understand that?"

Chae shook her head, not wanting to believe it. "No."

"It's the truth," Hawk told her. "I've been there, okay? With Kreese. He made me believe that Cobra Kai was the only way, and it ruined me. But I didn't have it as bad as you; I know that, but I understand, Chae. I get it—feeling like there's no way out."

"You don't get it. My mother—she's—and my grandfather—you don't know what it was like," Chae stammered. "You don't understand...You don't understand. You don't..."

"Okay. You're right." Hawk gave her hand a squeeze to try and calm her down. "I don't get it, but you're destroying yourself, and I'm not going to sit back and watch you bleed yourself dry."

"I can handle myself," Chae responded.

"I know you can," Hawk replied. "But I care about you."

Chae sighed. "And maybe that's your problem. You care too much. We were never supposed to be in this mess in the first place, but we just had to fall for each other."

"Do you regret it?" Hawk asked. "Falling for me?"

Chae shook her head. "No. But it certainly complicated things."

"I don't regret it either," Hawk responded.

"I could never regret it," Chae told him. "But I need you to understand how much I need this."

"And I need you to understand that I'm not going to let you go down this path," Hawk said, lacing their fingers together. "I love you too much to let that happen."

Chae's eyes went wide. "You—you what?"

Hawk's eyes widened at the realization of what he said, but he didn't panic. He just smiled and nodded his head.

"I love you," Hawk repeated, causing Chae to smile. "And I don't want to see you go down a dark road that you can't come back from or see you destroy yourself over people who don't deserve you."

Chae pulled him into a hug. "I love you."

Hawk hugged her back, and if Hawk had known that was all it took to get her to stop overworking herself, he would have said it minutes ago.

— EMILIA'S NOTES

hellooo this took me forever to write so sorry about that

also aren't chae & hawk just the cutest

also i really cannot wait to write all of the sekai taikai angst. it's going to be so fun and so stressful at the same time.

alternative chapter title: mike barnes casually scaring children