❝ i guess i'm a nerd in disguise. ❞

―

TO SAY DECHA WAS NERVOUS WOULD BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT.

He was pacing by the front door, waiting for Demetri to arrive. His palms were sweaty and felt clammy. He could feel his heartbeat pounding against his chest. He was biting his fingernails.

Decha didn't think he had ever been so nervous in his entire life. He wasn't this nervous at his middle school talent show he performed a song that he had written or when he had kissed Nico Coppola under the bleachers in the seventh grade. He wasn't even this nervous when he drank alcohol for the first time or smoked his first cigarette.

He was a complete nervous wreck and Achara didn't hesitate to tell him so. She was sitting on the couch with Tory next to her. The two girls were in the middle of trying to watch a movie. Achara had paused the movie and stared at her brother, watching him pace back and forth like a dog waiting for its owner to get home.

"Dude, would you take a chill pill?" Achara asked. "Your nervous pacing is interrupting our movie."

Decha didn't stop pacing. In fact, her pointing out that he was pacing just made it even worse. That meant he looked just as nervous as he felt.

"Seriously, what's wrong with you? Are you seriously this wound up because Demetri's coming over?" Achara asked.

Decha didn't stop pacing as he spoke. "I don't know! I'm freaking out, Chara. How do I stop this? What do I do?"

"Damn, you've got it so bad," Tory said as she laughed.

Achara started to laugh with her.

"Oh, you two think this is funny, huh?" Decha asked them.

Achara nodded. "We do."

Tory stood up and grabbed Decha by the shoulders, causing him to stop pacing abruptly and look at her. She had to look up at him as she looked into his eyes.

"Seriously, just calm down," Tory said to him. "You have nothing to be worried about. This isn't a date, remember? It's just two friends hanging out. If you're nervous, it'll make things awkward."

Achara threw a piece of popcorn in her mouth. "She's right. You've just got to act normal."

"I don't know how to act normal!" Decha shouted.

Tory leaned back and closed her eyes, sighing before opening them again . "First of all, that was right in my ear, thanks for that. Second of all, just be yourself."

"But being myself would mean flirting with him and he said he'd leave if I did that," Decha told her.

Tory started violently shaking his shoulders. "Then don't flirt with him! Talk to him. Get to know him more. Talk about your favorite movie. Do something that will keep your mind off of flirting with him. Got it?"

Decha nodded. He didn't have it, but he nodded anyway. Tory let go of his shoulders and took her seat next to Achara again.

At the sound of the doorbell ringing, Decha's heart felt like it stopped beating for a split second. He took a deep breath before he opened the door. He smiled when he saw Demetri standing on the other side.

"Hi," he greeted him.

"Hello," Demetri responded flatly. "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to let me in?"

Decha opened the door wider, allowing Demetri more space to walk in. Decha closed the door behind him.

"Hey, Demetri," Achara said.

"Hey," Demetri replied, eyebrows together as he looked at Tory in confusion.

"I'm Tory," she introduced herself. "I'm a new friend." She gave him a once-over, looking up and down at him. "So, you're the famous Demetri I've heard so much about?"

Decha stepped in front of him. "Are you hungry? Why don't we get a snack or something to eat?"

"Oh, no thanks," Demetri replied. "I'm good."

"Then how about we just go to my room and watch a movie or..."

"Y-your room?" Demetri stammered. "I-I thought we could stay down here. You know, play a board game or...or maybe just sit and..."

"Dem, it'll be fine," Decha assured him. "I promised not to flirt with you, and I won't. There's nothing to worry about."

Demetri looked nervous, but he followed Decha up the stairs anyway.

"Use protection!" Tory shouted.

Her and Achara busted out laughing.

"Wait—what?" Demetri panicked.

"She was kidding," Decha told him.

"Oh..."

Decha opened the door to his room. Demetri walked in and looked around. It was nothing like he thought it would be. By simply looking at him and having a fairly good idea of who he was, Demetri figured that his room would be covered in posters of the numerous grunge and rock bands he listened to and wore on his T-shirts.

While there were such posters, they were few and far between. Demetri thought there would be so many posters that you could barely see what color the walls were. In his head he imagined that the walls would be painted a dark color, not necessarily black but maybe a navy blue or some shade of dark red—maroon perhaps. He certainly did not expect to see soft, sky blue walls everywhere he looked. Except for one small sliver of the wall that his bed leaned up against. That wall was decorated with sketches and drawings.

"You draw?" Demetri asked.

Decha shrugged. "I dabble."

Demetri walked closer to the drawings to get a closer look at them.

"Dabble?" Demetri asked. "These are really good, like, phenomenally good."

Demetri continued to examine the drawings, amazed at every single one that he laid his eyes on. Each one was more detailed than the last. He just couldn't help but be bewildered by every single one. Most of them were detailed and complicated looking abstract art that Demetri wouldn't even know how to begin drawing. A few of them were of buildings and city skylines similar to the ones you would see in New York.

But there was one lone drawing in particular that caught Demetri's eye. It was a drawing of a person. The attention to detail was immaculate and so beautifully done that it almost looked like a real-life photo.

Demetri paused for a moment, thinking that the person in the drawing looked awfully familiar. He leaned in closer, trying to get an even better look at it. He soon realized why the person had looked so familiar and he wasn't sure what to think.

"Is that...me?" Demetri asked.

"Oh...um, yeah," Decha replied. "Drawings of people are kind of my specialty."

That wasn't necessarily the truth. While he was skilled in drawing portraits of people, they were not his specialty. His specialty pertained to drawings of Demetri. When it came to drawing people, Decha could never seem to get their features right. It always seemed like something was off. Like maybe one of their eyes were slightly bigger than the other or he couldn't get their noses right and it always appeared off center. He's tried several times to draw his sister or other people he has noticed around school, but none of them ever came out right.

But Demetri? Drawing Demetri was an entirely different story. From the moment he saw him, Decha was dazzled and amazed by Demetri. He spent so long examining and taking in every single one of his features, taking notice of every single detail of his face to the point where it was permanently etched into his mind. He spent hours upon hours trying to draw him and make sure that it was perfect. When he finally perfected the drawing of Demetri, his floor was covered in crumpled up pieces of paper—so much to the point where his carpet was barely visible.

Decha walked over to the speakers. "Do you want to listen to music? What kind of music do you like?"

Demetri shrugged. "Surprise me."

Decha connected his phone to the speaker using Bluetooth and pressed shuffle on his liked songs playlist. He turned the volume up. Demetri's eyes widened at the song that began playing.

"I pressed shuffle, I swear," Decha said. "I can change it if you want."

Demetri shook his head. "No, it's fine. I didn't peg you as a Whitney Houston fan."

"Hey, "I Will Always Love You" is a classic," Decha responded.

Demetri chuckled. "I didn't say it wasn't."

Decha started to sing along. Demetri turned to look at him, bewilderment present on his face. Decha continued to sing, nailing the high note. Demetri couldn't help but stare at him, absolutely mesmerized.

"I didn't know you could sing so well," Demetri said when the song was over.

"You never asked," Decha responded.

"I guess there's a lot of things I haven't asked," Demetri said.

"Like what?" Decha asked, taking a seat on his bed. "I'll answer anything you want to ask."

"Seriously?" Demetri asked.

"Ask away," Decha nodded, patting the bed next to him.

Demetri stared at the empty space, hesitant to sit next to him. After almost an entire minute, he sat down.

"Why are you so persistent about dating me?" Demetri asked.

Decha raised an eyebrow at him. "That's what you're starting with?"

"Just answer," Demetri demanded.

"It's because I like you more than anyone I've ever met. I like almost everything about you," Decha told him.

"Almost everything? What don't you like about me?" Demetri asked.

"That you refuse to give me a chance," Decha answered.

"Do you blame me? You've never been in a relationship for more than a month. You go through partners like they're the candy that you eat at a movie theater before the movie even starts," Demetri responded. "You think I'm just going to agree to date you?"

Decha laughed. "You always have the strangest analogies."

"Next question," Demetri moved on. "What's your favorite movie?"

"Labyrinth," Decha replied. "Second favorite is Weird Science."

"Those are not your favorite movies," Demetri said in disbelief.

"Yeah they are," Decha said. "Ask Achara if you don't believe me."

"Your favorite movies are Labyrinth and Weird Science?" Demetri questioned.

Decha nodded. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Because you're...you're you," Demetri said.

"Wow...okay," Decha scoffed.

"I don't mean it in a bad way. You just don't seem like the kind of person who would have Labyrinth and Weird Science be their favorite out of the trillions of movies there are," Demetri clarified.

"What can I say?" Decha replied. "I'm a sucker for David Bowie and scrawny little science nerds."

Decha's eyes widened. That was most definitely a flirty remark. He was fully prepared for Demetri to get up and leave, he didn't.

"Next question," Demetri said. "What's your favorite song?"

"Just Being Friendly by Tilly Birds," Decha responded quickly.

"I've never heard of it. What is it about?" Demetri said, titling his head slightly to the side.

"It's a Thai song about being in love with your friend and wanting to get out of the friend zone, but being afraid to tell them because you can't tell if your friend feels the same way about you or not even though they seem to be interested in becoming more than friends," Decha explained. "It's a matter of should we cross that line, or should we just be friends?"

Demetri went silent. For once, he was actually speechless.

"Now it's your turn," Decha spoke up. "You asked me now I get to ask you. Favorite movie?"

Demetri blinked a few times before answering. "Coincidentally, Weird Science."

"We'll have to watch it together sometime. Favorite song?"

Demetri looked down at his shoes, as if he were ashamed of his favorite song.

"I Will Always Love You," Demetri admitted.

"Are you kidding?" Decha asked in shock.

Demetri shook his head. "I wish I was."

"That's totally our song now," Decha said.

Demetri furrowed his eyebrows. "Our song? Why would we have a song? Only couples have songs."

Decha raised his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. Demetri's cheeks flushed a light shade of pink, and he started stammering over his words.

"And you say you don't like me," Decha said.

"I never said I don't like you," Demetri responded.

"So you do like me?" Decha asked.

"I didn't say that either," Demetri replied.

Decha couldn't help but smile as he stood up and walked to his closet. "You like comic books, right?"

Demetri nodded his head. Decha opened the door to his closet, revealing several shelves that held boxes upon boxes of comic books. Demetri's jaw dropped with shock.

"You read comic books?" Demetri asked.

He stood up and walked over to the closet, admiring the comic books. "Are those Dungeon Lord comics?"

Decha nodded. "Sure are. Every single issue."

"You read the Dungeon Lord comics?" Demetri asked, unable to believe it.

Decha nodded. "Why is that so hard to believe? I play the game too."

Demetri's eyes widened even more. Decha thought they were going to pop out of his head. "You're kidding, right?"

Decha shook his head. "Nope."

"You're telling me that you, Decha Thirasawat, not only reads the comics, but also play the Dungeon Lord game?" Demetri questioned. "Aren't you supposed to be cool?"

Decha couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. "I guess I'm a nerd in disguise."

"You're telling me," Demetri responded.

"So, what do you want to do? We can watch a movie or listen to some more music," Decha suggested. "We could play a board game like you wanted."

"Do you have Balderdash?" Demetri asked. "We could ask Achara and Tory to play."

"What the hell is Balderdash?" Decha asked, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

"You've never heard of Balderdash?" Demetri asked.

Decha shook his head. "No."

"Do you have Trivial Pursuit? Monopoly? Sequence?" Demetri asked.

"I think we have Monopoly," Decha replied.

Demetri smiled. "Perfect! Let's go. Should we ask the girls to play?"

Decha just shrugged. He could tell that Demetri was trying his hardest to not be alone with him anymore.

He followed Demetri out of his room and down the stairs. Only Achara sat on the couch. Tory was nowhere to be found.

"Where's Tory?" Decha asked.

"She had to go home," Achara told him. "What are you two up to?"

"We or well, I was wondering if you wanted to play Monopoly with us," Demetri said.

Achara glanced at Decha, one of her eyebrows raised. "Monopoly? You two are going to play Monopoly?"

Demetri nodded. "Yeah. It'd be more fun if you joined."

Decha started shaking his head, begging Achara to say no. He stopped when Demetri glanced over at him.

"You know what?" Achara said. "One game won't hurt."

Decha glared at her. Achara walked to the game closet and grabbed Monopoly. They gathered around the coffee table in the living room to play. Decha didn't stop giving Achara dirty looks the entire time.

They were still playing when their parents arrived home an hour and a half later.

"Oh..." their mother said when she saw Demetri. "Who's this?"

"Mae, Pa, this is Demetri," Decha replied. "He's a friend of mine."

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Thirasawat," Demetri said to them.

"Please, call me Jintara," she responded, the turned to her husband. "Honey?"

He stared at Demetri, expressionless. He was always a quiet man who didn't speak a lot and he had this stare that could make anyone feel uncomfortable. He didn't even have to say a word. His facial expression had a way of saying it all. Demetri just stared back at him nervously. He didn't know what to do or say.

"Oh, Pa, would you atop that?" Jintara asked. She turned to Demetri. "Don't mind him. Are you eating with us?"

Demetri shook his head. "No. I should probably go home. Thank you so much for the offer though."

"We'd love to have you join us sometime," Jintara said.

Demetri just nodded. He wasn't sure how to respond. He said goodbye to everyone and walked out the door.

"A friend, huh?"

Decha turned to look at his father. "Yes, sir."

He wasn't sure why he had asked, but he didn't elaborate any further. He just nodded his head, face as expressionless as ever, and walked into the kitchen. He watched as his mother followed after him.

"What was that?" Achara asked.

Decha shrugged. "I have no idea."

Decha had a feeling that their father could tell that he didn't just think of Demetri as a friend. He wasn't worried about it though.

Their parents had never been homophobic. They knew that Decha was bisexual. He had kept it a secret from them for the longest time. He didn't think he would ever tell them out of fear that they wouldn't accept him. Keeping his sexuality a seventh had worked for years until Achara accidentally let it slip about a boy he was seeing. Decha was worried about what his parents would think, but much to his surprise, they didn't seem to care.

Their patents cared about a lot of things that their children did. They cared whether they smoked, drank, and how much trouble they got into at school. But one thing they had never cared about was sexual orientation.

As far as they were concerned, love was love and if their children just so happens to like someone of the same gender, then they'd welcome them with open arms.

"So, how'd it go upstairs?" Achara asked.

"We just talked," Decha told her. "Got to know each other a bit better. I showed him my comic books."

Achara fake gasped dramatically and placed her hand on his chest. "Your precious comic books that you keep hidden because you're a secret nerd? You showed them to him? Wow, he must truly be special."

Decha grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at her. "Shut up."

The pillow hit Achara in the face. She threw it back at him, but he caught it before he had the chance to collide with his face.

"Do you think he'll ever give me a chance?" Decha asked.

Achara shrugged. "I don't know. He seems to be a little more relaxed when he's around you. I think I even saw him blush a few times during the game."

"Seriously?" Decha asked.

Achara nodded. "Remember, just don't give up."

Decha nodded. He had no intention whatsoever of giving up on him.

— EMILIA'S NOTES

okay so this chapter ended up being longer than i thought it would which i mean, i'm not complaining since we got some decha and demetri content.

and of course a little achara/tory moment. anyway, back to our regularly scheduled episodes next chapter... the mall fight

alternative chapter: decha thirasawat - undercover nerd.

also just being friendly by tilly birds perfectly describes the decha/demetri/hawk relationship.

if you want, you can listen to the song on youtube or spotify. the music video for the song has the translations as well, just turn on the subtitles. there's also several lyric videos if you'd prefer that.

i'm putting the thai/english translation below that you can read if you'd like. it's totally up to you if you wanna listen/read or not. :)

+ just being friendly thai lyrics & english translation:

หยุดคิดแบบนี้
yud kit baeb ni
stop spiraling

หยุดคิดเลย
yud kit loey
stop snowballing

รู้สึกดีทั้งที่เป็นแค่เพื่อนกัน
ruseuk dee tang ti, bpen kae peuan gan
into the abyss of my one-sided feeling

หยุดไว้แค่นี้
yud wai kae ni
stop this right away

หยุดไว้เลย
yud wai loey
stop this game you play

ได้โปรด เธออย่าเล่นเกินไปกว่านั้น
dai bprot ter ya len, geun bpai gwa nan
if you cross the line, it won't be fine

เล่นทักมาหาฉันเสมอแทบทุกคืนวัน
len tak ma ha chan semer tap took keun wan
you text me day and night

มากเกินกว่าเพื่อนควรจะเป็น
mak geun gwa peuan kuan ja bpen
and it doesn't seem right

เล่นเป็นห่วงฉันแม้ในเรื่องที่ไม่สำคัญ
len bpen huang chan mae nai reuang ti mai samkan
too many times, committing friend-zone crimes

เธอชอบมาทำให้ฉัน เอ๊ะ ยังไง
ter chop ma tam hai chan e, yang ngai
you make me feel like... wait, what?

ที่เล่นแบบนี้นั้นมันแปลว่าไง
ti len baeb ni nan man bplae, wa ngai
getting too close the way friends should not

ฉันยังสับสนและสงสัย
chan yang sapson lae song sai
i'm confused by how you act

เป็นเพื่อนกัน ต้องเล่นแบบไหน
bpen peuan gan dtong len baeb nai
you're the code i can't crack

ได้แต่พยายามจะไม่คิดอะไร
dai dtae payayam ja mai kit arai
i can only try to stop thinking

ที่ไม่ควรคิด
ti mai kuan kit
try to stop sinking

เวลาที่เราใกล้ชิดมากไป
wela ti rao glai chit mak bpai
when you come too close

รู้ตัวอีกที ในใจมีแต่คำถาม
ru dtua ik ti nai jai mi dtae kam tam
but your heart is still closed

มากมายเกินจะทนไหว
mak mai geun ja ton wai
are you just being friendly?

บอกฉันทีจะได้ไหม
bok chan ti ja dai mai
or do you want to be more than friends with me?

ถ้าเธอให้ฉันเป็นเพื่อนเล่น
ta ter hai chan bpen peuan len
if we're just friends

อย่าเล่นเกินกว่านั้นได้ไหม
ya len geun gwa nan dai mai
don't play both ends

ถ้าฉันเล่นเกินเส้นไป เธอรับได้ไหม
ta chan len, geun sen bpai ter rap dai mai
if you lead me on, and i take up the baton

ช่วยบอกฉันสักที ว่าที่ฉันยืน
chuay bok chan sak ti, wa ti chan yeun
will you be up for it?

เธอยืนที่เดียวกันไหม
ter yeun, ti diao gan mai
can i apply for a love permit?

หยุดเล่นเกินเพื่อนเล่น
yud len geun peuan len
or can you stop being too friendly?

เอ่อ คือตอนนี้เราเป็นแค่เพื่อนกัน
e keu dton ni, rao bpen kae peuan gan
now we seem to be just mates

และฉันก็คิด
lae chan go kit
and i'm thinking

อยากมีสิทธิ์มากกว่านั้น
yak mi sit mak gwa nan
of upgrading to soulmates

(อ๋อ ได้เลย)
(o dai loey)
(right on)

งั้นเธอคือเพื่อนสนิทของฉัน
ngan ter keu peuan sanit kong chan
we're such intimate mates

เพื่อนอะไรบอกฝันดีก่อนนอน
peuan arai, bok fan dee gon non
what kind of pals drop goodnight texts?

เพื่อนแบบไหนดมหัวแล้วบอกหอม
peuan baeb nai, dom hua laew bok hom
pecking and poking leave me all perplexed

เริ่มไม่แน่ใจ เอาหน้ามาใกล้ตลอด
reum mai nae jai ao na ma glai dtalot
things between us is getting obscure

เวลาฉันต้องการใคร ก็เป็นเธอที่มากอด
wela chan dtong gan krai go bpen ter ti ma got
cuddling and snuggling leave me unassured

ใจเธอคิดเหมือนกันหรือเปล่า
jai ter, kit meuan gan reu bplao
do you feel and the way i feel?

เจอแบบนี้ไป ฉันแอบเผลอใจให้ไปแม้มันไม่อาจเป็นจริง
jer baeb ni bpai chan aep, pleu jai hai bpai mae man, mai at bpen cing
though one-sided, my feeling is getting too real

ถ้าเธอให้ฉันเป็นเพื่อนเล่น
ta ter hai chan bpen peuan len
if we're just friends

อย่าเล่นเกินกว่านั้นได้ไหม
ya len geun gwa nan dai mai
don't play both ends

ถ้าฉันเล่นเกินเส้นไป เธอรับได้ไหม
ta chan len, geun sen bpai ter rap dai mai
if you lead me on, and i take up the baton

ช่วยบอกฉันสักที ว่าที่ฉันยืน
chuay bok chan sak ti, wa ti chan yeun
will you be up for it?

เธอยืนที่เดียวกันไหม
ter yeun, ti diao gan mai
can i apply for a love permit?

ถ้าเธอไม่เคยที่จะรู้สึกเหมือนที่ใจฉันรู้สึก
ta ter mai koey ti ja ruseuk, meuan ti jai chan ruseuk
if you and i are never on the same page

แค่เพื่อนเล่น ฉันก็เป็นให้เธอไม่ไหว
kae peuan len, chan go bpen hai ter mai wai
being too friendly is like putting my heart in a cage

จะได้พร้อมทำใจ รอให้เธอบอก
ja dai prom tam jai, ro hai ter bok
i can't be the stranded

ว่าเป็น เพื่อนกันเท่านั้น
wa bpen peuan gan tao nan
just tell me i'm unwanted

หยุดเล่นเกินเพื่อนเล่น
yud len geun peuan len
stop being intimate, mate!

ได้แต่พยายามจะไม่คิดอะไร
dai dtae payayam ja mai kit arai
i can only try to stop thinking

ที่ไม่ควรคิด
ti mai kuan kit
try to stop sinking

เวลาที่เราใกล้ชิดมากไป
wela ti rao glai chit mak bpai
when you come too close

รู้ตัวอีกที ในใจมีแต่คำถาม
ru dtua ik ti nai jai mi dtae kam tam
but your heart is still closed

มากมายเกินจะทนไหว
mak mai geun ja ton wai
are you just being friendly?

บอกฉันทีจะได้ไหม
bok chan ti ja dai mai
or do you want to be more than friends with me?

ถ้าเธอให้ฉันเป็นเพื่อนเล่น
ta ter hai chan bpen peuan len
if we're just friends

อย่าเล่นเกินกว่านั้นได้ไหม
ya len geun gwa nan dai mai
don't play both ends

ถ้าฉันเล่นเกินเส้นไป เธอรับได้ไหม
ta chan len, geun sen bpai ter rap dai mai
if you lead me on, and i take up the baton

ช่วยบอกฉันสักที ว่าที่ฉันยืน
chuay bok chan sak ti, wa ti chan yeun
will you be up for it?

เธอยืนที่เดียวกันไหม
ter yeun, ti diao gan mai
can i apply for a love permit?

ถ้าเธอไม่เคยที่จะรู้สึกเหมือนที่ใจฉันรู้สึก
ta ter mai koey ti ja ruseuk, meuan ti jai chan ruseuk
if you and i are never on the same page

แค่เพื่อนเล่น ฉันก็เป็นให้เธอไม่ไหว
kae peuan len, chan go bpen hai ter mai wai
being too friendly is like putting my heart in a cage

จะได้พร้อมทำใจ รอให้เธอบอก
ja dai prom tam jai, ro hai ter bok
i can't be the stranded

ว่าเป็น เพื่อนกันเท่านั้น
wa bpen peuan gan tao nan
just tell me i'm unwanted

หยุดเล่นเกินเพื่อนเล่น
yud len geun peuan len
stop being intimate, mate!