In the morning, you wake up a half hour early from your nerves. It's still plenty dark out, but you can't lay still. Giving up, you shove your covers off and search for your robe, craving another layer against the cool air of the room. You waste as much time as you can, showering, doing your hair, and even making an actual breakfast for yourself.

Eventually you have to give in and go to the office. Hotch is, of course, already there when you arrive. You shrug off your jacket at your desk and head up to his office.

"Have a seat." he greets you.

You fish your paper work out of your bag and hand it over. You squirm a little in your chair as he takes the time to genuinely read through the information.

His eyes flicker up from the page.

"Seems like everything looks good, how are you feeling?"

"Good, I'm good. A little sore, still." you add the final bit in what you hope is a lighthearted tone.

In his quick, serious tone, he begins again. "I shouldn't have sent you out to search for an unsub. It was a mistake you could have paid dearly for. We can pull you from the field entirely, or we could just restrict your field work further. What do you think?"

You take a moment to think. You hadn't expected him to give you so much of a choice, let along to say that he was wrong. You nervously shift in your chair.

"I think we should restrict my field work from any situations that risk contact with an unsub. Interviews, crime scene visits, delivering profiles, that sort of stuff- that's alright."

He gives you a curt nod.

You drop some of the formality.

"Hotch, I'm almost eleven weeks along. I'm going to announce to the team next week. That should make organizing field work go a little smoother." You hold eye contact with him. "I appreciate that you've kept this private."

"Of course." He reeks of sincerity. You would never be bold enough to think he's getting a soft spot for you, but sometimes you wonder if losing out on so much time with Jack makes him cut JJ some slack, and now possibly you, too.

You could leave now. It's an entirely appropriate break in the meeting. But it's going to come out sooner or later. Might as well start now.

"There's another thing you should know." you avoid his gaze now, instead looking past Hotch to stare at some of the photos on the shelves behind him. "Spencer is the father. It's sort of a donor situation- I mean, it was planned. He wants to be active in the kid's life, but we're not really "together"." you finish. You can feel your face and chest getting red.

You bite the bullet and look at his face. He's completely lost his usual scowl, trading it for perfect neutrality-but you know better. For Hotch, neutrality is surprise.

"That's unconventional." he says in an even tone.

"Yes." you respond, mostly just to fill the silence.

"You should know Strauss will probably be involved when we coordinate your leave. Losing two agents at once will spread us thin." You can see the gears working in his head.

"Reid and I haven't finalized any plan for when we return to work. The four of us can work that out." you try to slow down his thoughts before he asks questions you can't answer.

"Unofficially, what's your plan?"

Here we go. You're going to get fired for Reid's idea and he's not even here.

"Reid has suggested alternating which of us travel. The other would work with Garcia and take on whatever else will streamline cases."

Hotch doesn't speak, so you try to backpedal. "That's just something he mentioned. I know I signed on to be a full time field agent. If that's what you need from me, then that's what you need."

The gears move in his head again. He stares down at his folded hands on his desk. "It could work. After you announce, we can meet with JJ and Garcia about what sort of support they might need." He pauses and lowers his voice a touch, "I'm telling you this in an unofficial capacity: I think we can make that work.".

A bit of the weight on your shoulders has been lifted. In the two years that you had been here, you'd become comfortable enough with Hotch so that you didn't feel like you had to prove yourself anymore, but still you valued his opinion and this is the first time he's really learned anything about your life beyond work. If he'd been angry with you for putting your personal life ahead of work for a bit, you'd have been devastated. You loved this job and this team. Losing either one would flip your life upside down, in the worst way. In a way where all the good things would get dumped out on the floor.

Without realizing it, you've become a little bit choked up, so that your "Thank you." comes out a little too weak sounding for your taste. At least it was honest. You grab your bag and stand up to leave, when Hotch speaks again.

"Y/n, when Reid started here Gideon and I kept asking him to take vacation time. He wouldn't do it- he said he liked being busy here. You do good work for this team, and Reid deserves to step back a bit, build up a life beyond just the BAU. Whatever it takes, this team is going to make it work for you two."

You don't know if it's truly your emotions or just the pregnancy hormones, but your eyes are suddenly wetter than before. You don't take any chances speaking, just nod at him with a small smile and wipe at your eyes. You can't walk out of this office crying or the team will go nuts trying to figure out what's going on.

After composing yourself, you push open the door and step out to overlook the bullpen. It's buzzing with activity, and as Hotch's words sink in, you're feeling particularly optimistic about the day ahead.

A/N: sorry to keep you guys waiting!!! my diff eq class just wrapped up yesterday and the last leg of it was a bit rough. I had a math induced stress headache this morning but after taking pain meds and reminding myself i never have to take a math class again, im feeling pretty good lol

ps- ch 23 will be up tonight or tomorrow

"What is home? My favorite definition is "a safe place," a place where one is free from attack, a place where one experiences secure relationships and affirmation. It's a place where people share and understand each other. Its relationships are nurturing. The people in it do not need to be perfect; instead, they need to be honest, loving, supportive" -Gladys Hunt