“Flashback: The Rat is now under the trap”

Nang makapasok ako sa loob ng opisina ng General ay nadatnan ko doon si Dad at kausap niya si General Diasque. Dalawang beses akong tinignan ni Dad at nang napaniwala niyang nakikita niya ang kanyang ka-isa-isang anak ay mabilis niya akong hinagkan ng mahigpit. Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit na parang wala ng bukas. Kasabay ng kanyang pagbitaw ng pagkakayakap ay doon na siya naging emosyonal.

“I thought you were dead,” naiiyak na sambit nito at agad siyang umupo sa isang bakanteng silya na nasa tapat ng lamesa ni General Diasque.

“W-Why are you here?” I asked him because as far as I know that he was doing undercover within the territory of our enemies.

As far as I remember, he left me here rotting inside the Headquarters because all inside his head was all about the mission. The mission of staying undercover within our nemesis’ fortress so he can gather some information about their plan and about their next move to conquer. If the reason why he showed here is about the accident happened last week, I’m  not buying it.

“Because I was worried about you—”

“No. That is not the reason.” I cut him off. I’m  not buying with this stupid reasons.

Bago pa nila ibigay sa akin ang katotohanang kung bakit narito ngaton si Dad ay nagkatinginan muna ang dalawa sa isa’t isa at tinignan muli ako ni Dad sa mata. Pinilit ko na huwag siyang tignan ng maigi para naman ay makontrol ko ang aking emosyon.

“Look—” He was attempted to create another fake reason but I gave him a death stare. I’m  not totally buying it. I know that I’m not that stupid boy. “— Toby, I just want you to know that I’m  worried about you.”

“I need to go to the bathroom,” ang tanging naging sagot ko sa kanya at magalang akong nagpaalam kay General Diasque at agad na lumabas ng kanyang opisina.

Nadaramdaman ko agad ang pagsunod ni Dad sa akin hanggang sa aking kuwarto rito sa Headquarters. I know something was off about his sudden visit here in Headquarters. I know something is wrong around him. His priority is his mission more than his own son. He left his own son here in the Headquarters and one of my family I got when he left me is dead because of me. Because of my cowardice. Because I’m  a jerk, a stupid little jerk.

After I slammed the door of my room, My father slowly entered inside my room with a creaking sound he was making while opening the door. He saw me standing at my horrible circle-shaped window. I want him to explain why he was here. I want him to explain why out of the blue, he showed up and telling me that he was worried about me so he decided to leave his top priority in his life just to visit me?

“Why you are so upset?” he asked me.

As I turned around to see his face, I started to talk.

“Upset? You have no idea why I am upset? Why am I having this madness?  Why I am living with sadness and fear. You have no idea why I am angry?” My tone was in a minimal sound so no one in the hallway can hear our conversation.

He put his two hands inside his pocket and started to release a sigh. I just continued to clean my mess inside my room while waiting with his answer.

“Look, I don’t  want to hurt your feelings. General Diasque told me everything so if I said the real reason why I am here, it might tear you apart and you might hate me throughout your life.”

Sa kanyang sinabi ay mas lalong uminit ang ulo ko. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang aking nararamdaman nang marinig ng dalawang tenga ko ang mga salitang iyon na nanggaling sa kanyang bunganga. Mas lalong magdagdag iyon ng pagkainis ko sa kanya. Mas lalong dumagdag iyon sa aming walang pagkakaintindihang pag-uusap.

“Wow, now you are worried about my feelings after what you did? So tell me the truth!” I raised my voice. “I need to know that truth why you are here because I am your son!”

“I’m sorry that I gave you the wrong information. The CRYPTIC found out that I am one of the rat of their organization. They held me for weeks, forcing me to gave you the wrong information so they can deceive the Headquarters. I am the reason why you and your friends died in that aerial war scene. I gave you a fallacy. I gave you a fake information.”

“W-What?”

Matapos niyang masabi iyon ay napatulala ako sa kanyang harapan. Matapos kong marinig iyon ay nagmistulang gumuho ang akinh mundo. Kung hindi dahil sa kanyang binigay na pekeng impormasyon ay buhay pa sana si Pauline. Buhay pa sana ang ibang mga kabataang kakampi ko sa Pact One. Kung hindi dahil sa kanyang ginawa ay hindi sana nagdurusa ngayon si Trudeau dahil sa pagkamatay ng kanyang kapatid.

“You have no idea what Trudeau is experiencing now, he lost his sister. He lost everything just because of you.”

“I have no choice. I need to obey their orders just to make sure that I will survive. Just—” he cut what he was saying and he took a deep breath. “—Just to make sure that my one and only son can still see me alive.”

Napaupo ako sa kanyang sinabi at pinilit kong iproseso ang aking mga narinig. Hindi ko lubos akalain na maririnig ko mula sa kanya ang ganoong mga salita. Kahit nalaman ko ang katotohanan ay hindi pa rin maikakaila na hindi ko pa rin nagawang mailigtas si Pauline. Hindi ko lubos maisip na ang pamilyang kumupkop sa magkapatid ay ang naging dahilan ng pagguho ng mundo ni Trudeau.

“Dad, I hope you know what you have done.”

“I-I know and I’m  sorry for that.”

“You have no idea how many people you have hurt because of obeying their orders. You hurt Trudeau and you hurt me. Trudeau and Pauline are the only family I got after you abandoned me like a stray dog.”

“I didn’t  abandon you.”

“Yes you did.”

Tumayo ako nang masabi ko iyon ay siya naman ang umupo sa aking higaan. Agad ko namang inayos ang aking mga sapatos sa sahig habang siya naman ay pinipilit na hindi maiyak sa kanyang mga sinasabi.

“You are my son. I need to do that just to be here with you.”

“Nonsense.” I looked him without any expression. “And who helped you escaped?”

“Mr. Diasque. Siyaszo Diasque. CRYPTIC still have no idea that he is the other rat of their organization. The more I stay there, they will know the truth of our organization. Our plan will be destroyed if they know about Mr. Diasque. He has a higher rank now in the organization. Few more steps and he will meet the leader and the secret main base of CRYPTIC.”

Nabitawan ko ang hawak kong sapatos at iyon ang naging hudyat na agad na pinatapos ni Dad ang kanyang sinasabi. Hindi ko na pinigilan pa ang aking sarili na huwag umiyak dahil sa kanyang mga sinabi na hindi ko matatanggap.

“At the end of the day, still your mission is the reason why you are here. Not for your son, not for your family.”

“No,” halos mapiyok na siya sa pagpipigil sa kanyang mga luha nang masabi niya iyon, “I am here because we are withdrawing in Headquarters. I-I—”

“W-What? What are you talking about?”

“I already have a word with our General. I am leaving this organization just to make sure that my full attention will be shifted to my son. I already said that you are coming with me. You are also withdrawing with this organization.”

Pinigilan ko ang aking sarili na huwag siyang suntukin. Hindi ko mahanap kung ano ang tumatakbi sa isip ng lalaking ito. Nababaliw na yata siya. Siya nga mismo ang nagtulak sa akin na pumasok sa organsisyan na ito pero siya rin ang unang aalis? Wala na yata sa katinun ang kanyang pag-iisip.

“No. I need this. I need this so I could bring justice to the death of Pauline. I need to do this. It is my responsibility to gave Trudeau the Justice he deserve.”

“But I don’t  want my son to be killed with those lunatics!”

“No.”

“You are coming with me. You don’t  know them, Toby. I don’t  want you to be killed in the mission.”

“So, you care to me now? Huh?” I said with a high voice and I don’t care if someone will hear us outside, “You… You are concern to my safety but aren’t you still giving those leak information without thinking that your son might be killed in the battle because of what you did?”

“Toby I—” I didn’t  finish him creating his sentences when I walked out from my room and I left them sitting to my warm bed.

Thank you for reading :)