A Real Fixer Upper

On the Comm Tower, Zone was hanging off one of the bars that connected to the Tower working on the interconnection wires, while Wash was busy adjusting the satellite's radio terminal. Tucker sat on a crate, cleaning his weapon. 

"I'm just sayin' I feel like somebody should have found us by now." Tucker points out. 

"Cyclops toss me the wrench." Cyclops picks up a nearby wrench in his teeth and throws it to Zone who catches it upside down. "Tucker we all feel like we should've been found by now, but if we don't get this Tower working, NO ONE will find us. Period." 

"Yeah but, you know, it's like if a plane crashes and disappears that's fine, civilians, whatever." 

"Not sure if I agree with you on that." Wash says glancing over his shoulder. 

"But this was a freaking spaceship. That's like national tragedy level important." 

"It was a big ship." Zone agrees. 

"And what about GPS? The Galactic Positioning System should have been able to inform Command of our location within seconds of a mayday." Tucker states. Zone dropped his tool upon hearing Tucker say something THAT specific. 

"How...do you know that?" He asks. 

Tucker looks to the side. "Uh..." 

(FLASHBACK) 

On the ship, one of the Operators was explaining to Tucker what would happen if the ship crashed. 

"The Galactic Positioning System would be able to inform Command of our location within seconds of a mayday, so even the ship were to crash rescue would be practically immediate. Isn't it that rad?" 

"Cool, nerd stuff. Hey, is it just me or is that blonde over there checking me out?" Tucker asks pointing at the cockpit. 

"Who? The pilot?" The Operator says confused. 

"Yeah she's definitely checking me out." Tucker then walks over to the pilot. 

"Wait! You can't go over there!" 

Tucker leans against the wall next to the pilot. "Hey baby, I hear you're a pilot. Think you could pull up on my throttle? Bow Chicka Bow Wow." Tucker accidently hits a button making the ship's alarms go off. 

(FLASHBACK OVER) 

"I read it in a book?" Tucker replies. 

"I don't believe you." Zone picks up his tool. "Then again, I don't really care." Tucker gives a sigh of relief. 

Zone looks around and then back at Tucker. "Hey!" 

"Oh-oh what? Nothing." Tucker says quickly. 

"What's a matter?" Wash asks. 

"What happened to the soldering iron?" 

"Ooh I don't know." Tucker shrugs. Zone huffs and punches the Tower. 

"This would be going so much faster if I didn't have to keep tracking down equipment evey five minutes." 

"What, you think the Reds took it?" Xi asks. Zone sees an empty shotgun and picks it up. 

"Men, it appears our fortifications aren't meeting my ridiculous standards! Let's steal the Blues' tank and fire at our walls! That'll fix it. Yes, I think my dad took it." Zone says monotone. 

"Man, why are you guys so wound up all the time?" Tucker asks. 

"Because every second we're here is another second closer to death. Or worse." Wash says shuddering. 

"What's worse than death?" 

"I don't know. I just thought it sounded dramatic." 

"Come on, it's not that bad. I mean, if we were back in Blood Gulch, we'd be doing the exact same crap, you know." 

"There's just something about this place. I can't help but feel like we're being watched." Zone says looking around. 

"Oh please. People get that feeling all the time. I had it for years." Tucker replies. 

"But that's because you were being watched! You were monitored by a secret organization for every second of every day." Wash reminds him. 

"Well, I don't feel like I'm being watched now."

"Thank you. I feel much more secure." Zone says sarcastically. 

"Don't be a jerk." Tucker snaps. 

"Then don't be an idiot." Zone says grabbing Tucker's collar. 

"The heck is your problem?" 

"My problem is that you're absolutely right. Somebody should've found us by now. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to my 'team'." Zone then hops off the the platform and walks to Red Base. 

Tucker turns to Xi. "Is he still ticked off at Carolina?" 

"What do you think?" 

"Right." Tucker says looking down. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Grif and Simmons were standing on top of Red Base as Sarge was busy building the robot. Zone walks up behind them. 

"You're an idiot." Simmons states. 

"Am I Simmons, or am I just a man who's willing to ask the hard questions?" Grif retorts. 

"You're definitely an idiot." Simmons repeats. 

"You're both idiots. Now keep it down, I'm tryin' to focus." Sarge says as Zone walks up and grabs the soldering iron from him. "Rex I need that!" 

"Yeah well I need it to help us survive dad. So you can use it for whatever you were currently using it for AFTER we find a way out of this jungle." Sarge grumbles and goes back to work. 

"What is he even working on?" Zone asks. 

"He's building another robot to help with the Comm Tower." Simmons answers. 

"Back to my point: Terminator, The Matrix, Battlestar Galactica, everything points to robot domination of the human race!" Grif states. 

"Well technically some Cylons relied more on synthetic biology and not conventional robotics, but that was only in the series reboot. And you know those are pretty rare." Simmons explains. 

"Gotta go with you on that." Zone agrees. 

"Fine, then Wall-E. It doesn't matter. I just think it's strange that we're not already bowing down to our robot overlords." Grif shrugs. 

"I'm a cyborg, you wanna bow down to me?" Simmons says grinning. 

"Pass." 

"Screw you meatsack, your logic is flawed." Simmons says in a robot voice with his gun trained on Grif. 

Grif palms his visor. "You are the biggest freaking nerd. You know that right, I mean you really know that?" 

"You must construct additional pylons." Simmons continues. 

Zone, being fed up with their arguing, grabs them both by the back of the helmet and collides their heads together. "OW!" They both yell. 

"Well Optimus Prime's knuckle, I think we're in business." Sarge steps away from the robot as it activates. 

"Ladies, I would like to introduce you to the newest addition to Red Team." The robot stares at them. 

"Can it, talk?" Simmons asks. 

<Hello.> The robot speaks in Spanish. 

"You've got to be kidding!" Simmons shouts. 

"Oh come on!" Grif cries. Zone just shrugs knowing at least he'll be able to understand the robot. 

"Huh. That is an unfortunate coincidence." Sarge grunts. 

"Spanish. Why is it freaking Spanish? Why not French, or German, or Sangheili?" Grif suggests. 

"Do you even know any of those languages?" Zone asks. 

".......No." 

"Didn't think so." 

<I'm sorry. Does my language choice not please you? My system settings are currently set to Spanish.> The robot explains. 

"Heh heh, you know, it almost feels like the good ol' days. Just me, a Spanish-speaking robot, and a couple of complete idiots." Sarge chuckles. 

"You're talking about Grif and Donut, right?" Simmons asks. 

"Thanks moron." Grif mutters. 

"Lopez Dos-Point-O, it's good to have you aboard." Sarge says saluting. 

<Thank you, master. It's my duty to-> 

"Now get to work, slacker!" Sarge orders. 

<Excuse me?>

"Comm Tower. Middle of the canyon. Repairo, los rapido." 

"It's Spanish Sarge, not Harry Potter." Grif points out. 

<It sounds as if you have some equipment that's in need of repair. Is that correct?> Lopez 2.0 asks. 

"Hm. He's not doing anything." Sarge states. 

"Maybe he's stupid." Grif suggests. 

"Robot! Do you, understand, us? Comprehende?" 

<Yes.> 

"Well, he knows what we're saying, so I guess he's just stupid." Simmons ascertains. 

"Love to stay and chat, but I got work to do." Zone then walks off. 

<I can assure you I am performing at an above average-> 

"Uh, poor stupid Lopez Dos-Point-O. Well, let's just take him over to the Comm Tower." Sarge sighs. 

"Why? He's a moron." Grif states. 

"Yep, but maybe he'll end up being like a Rainman-type moron. We could get him one of those grey suits." 

<I will do my best to serve you.> 

"What a shame." Simmons says shaking his head. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Zone continues to walk to the Tower when he hears a noise. He pulls out his carbine and looks up. Nothing. 

~Either somebody is cloaked and watching us, or I'm getting to be just as paranoid as Wash.~ Zone turns and continues on towards the Tower. From above, the man in green and black armor reappears and looks down at Zone. 

"I look forward to seeing you again Raptor, just wait." The man cloaks and leaves. 

(LOCUS AND FELIX ARE GONNA HAVE ONE HECK OF PARTY WHEN ZONE MEETS THEM AGAIN!) 

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