I cut him off as he parked at our house. We stepped out the car continuing the conversation while heading inside. "I was dealing with some foreigners, they sold me the sniper today. I was going to head to Baekhyun anyways because Luna told me the meds were about to run out, then I heard the explosion. I got in position with the gun as soon as I could." He explained himself as we walked up the stairs.

"Good evening Mr Jeon," his secretary bowed at us as we entered our bedroom.

"You go off the radar every fucking day for a few hours how will you explain that?" I asked, "YOU'VE BEEN TRACKING ME?" He spoke out in disbelief. "Don't act like you didn't know," I replied, brushing off his dramatic act.

"You've never trusted me have you?" He furrowed his eyebrows at me disappointedly, "maybe if you gave me a reason to I would." I replied, throwing off my shoes to the side as I heard the door open, I knew Luna and her stupid ass walked in. "Ma'am it's time for your meds," she softly spoke. "Shut up," I rolled my eyes, "c'mon Yeol, don't let this argument get between you taking your meds." Jungkook told me.

"JUST SHUSH GOD," I covered my ears, I was so overwhelmed with my own thoughts that even the slightest words from them hurt. I took a deep breath calming down, "what's wrong with you?" Jungkook walked towards me, grabbing my cheeks in worry.

"A lot," I replied, lightly brushing off his hands from my face. "Could you uhm, go get the mop?" I randomly asked him, "ok?" He headed to the toilet to grab the mop when I pulled out a gun from under the bed. I blankly pointed the gun towards Luna, firing at her about 4 times.

Jungkook ran out, mop in hand, "why the fuck?" He tilted his head, handing me the mop. "She's been giving me the wrong meds for 2 weeks, she replaced them with ones that were worsening my health." I replied, using the mop to clean the blood of the floor.

We cleaned up the mess, sitting down onto the bed awkwardly. "You know you don't have to hide things from me," I spoke out. "I'm not, Byeol just believe me," he pleaded. "How can I? When all you do is show me reason not to," I replied, getting up from the bed.

"You're acting like you're so open with me, we've been dating for a goddamn year and I know nothing about you!" He yelled at me.

"I know nothing about you either. Maybe we both have scars that threaten to reopen every time we touch them." I replied, not facing him because of how weak I looked, I was tearing up. I hated arguing with him, and this was exactly what I didn't want to happen, yet I was the reason it did. Shadow haven't even touched me and yet my fear of them controls me completely.

"Maybe we do," Jungkook spoke softly.

I had a part of me that I was terrified to tell him about, because it's not something in my past. It's something that still lives within me. A monster. A monster with an extremely fragile cage that sits inside me.

"Lovers don't lie Byeol, we keep things from each other, that's not the sign of a healthy relationship." Jungkook's arms slid around my waist, "what's going on inside your head baby?" He whispered, making me look down and sigh.

"You don't wanna know," I uttered, removing his hands from my waist so I could turn around and face him.

"I never stopped searching for my mums killer," he suddenly spoke out. We had searched for months, for a single clue, the tiniest hint that would point us towards the real killer of his mother. But it was useless, it was wiped out like the incident never occurred so we closed it. Although we were all disappointed there was nothing we could do, it was like chasing a ghost story.

"That's it? That's your big secret that you've been hiding? Jungkook, what is wrong with you? Why didn't you tell me? I would've helped you, we could've continued it together," I told him.

"Because I'm not doing it the law based way, because I'm still Euphoria," he confessed. "F-for how long?" I managed to speak.

"I never stopped," he avoided eye contact in shame.

"What," I naturally took a step back in shock. The CIS is a crucial part of the government yes, but our actions still have to be signed off by higher officials like the vice president. I went through so much to get Jungkook becoming the chairman signed on, and he just, threw it away. Not just that he lied. For an entire year.

"Ok uhm, just tell me this," I rubbed my eyes out of tiredness as I ran my hands through my hair trying to be understanding. "Did you only use your mafia ways to find clues about your mother? What else have you done?" I asked him. "Everything I used to, nothing changed except I did everything on my own and without the boys. There was an army of my people, I couldn't just leave them jobless. Just because I joined the CIS doesn't mean my enemies just turn to dust, I have to deal with them." He justified himself.

"You could've bought those men to the CIS, I let a man as bad as you become the fucking chairman of a LAW ORGANISATION. What made you think I wouldn't accept them?" I spoke out, mind about to blow with all his stupidity. "OK FINE BYEOL. I didn't want to leave. I liked it, I liked knowing I wasn't chained down by rules, I liked the thrill of killing without reason." He finished.

"After everything we've been through, after all I did for us-"

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO, don't blame me for a decision you made without even asking me. I didn't fit in Byeol, I tried my best, being a hero just doesn't suit me," he cut me off leaving me in disbelief.

"YOU LOVED YOUR MOTHER MORE THAN ANYTHING, I'm so fucking sorry for trying to make her dream for you come true. I'm so sorry that I tried to make you the good man she wanted you to be, because we both know you are neither of those things. You are not good."

"Nor a man."

In a split second I was pinned against the wall, his actions expressing his anger. "Don't play the good cop Byeol, you are just as bad as I am," he spat. "Wrong."

"I am much worse." I spoke, "but unlike you I am trying to become better because I cannot change what I have done. Unlike you I regret. Unlike you I feel," I glared, memories flashing of my past, of Shadow.

"If you feel you fall."

"No you're just a coward."

We stood in silence, our stares burning through each other as the realisation of how toxic we were for each other sunk in. "I can't do this," I pushed him away, walking to the other side of the room. "You know I can't believe we've been together for an entire year, an agent and a mafia, god what were we thinking?" I forced a laugh to conceal the sadness in my voice. Jungkook stood on the other side of the room his arms crossed as he rested against the wall, concerned expression sitting on his face even when his eyes were on the floor.

"Let's just end things."

I watched him immediately look up at my words, "Byeol-"

"Look I know you're strong, I'm not. I can't do this, I have a lot of things on my plate right now. The last thing I want is for the vice president to slit my throat for giving him the empty promise of you finally changing your ways. You don't know the severity of your actions, because they won't hurt you, they hurt me. You hurt me." I said, voice cracking at the verge of tears on the last phrase.

"What do you mean?"

"Jungkook do you think things have been rainbow and sunshine just because we're lucky? The government despises you with all their might, do you even know the things I went through to get them to tolerate you? Don't think the crimes that you committed as Euphoria were pardoned. It became my responsibility to make you pay for everything you did if you chose the wrong path again. The government were just waiting for you to fuck up and you have, what a surprise." I spoke out.

"So first things first, I strip you of your position as chairman." I replied, sighing as I got up, taking out papers I knew I'd need one day. I walked towards him, grabbing his hand as I put ink on his thumb, pressing it down on the paper. "This is goodbye, baby."

I pulled him down to the front door, "we really were damned from the start," I sadly chuckled.

"I guess the journey was alright though," I extended my hand for a handshake, he faintly smiled, accepting it before pulling my hand so I would land perfectly in his embrace. "I wish you all the luck in the world to find your mothers true killer," I whispered, letting go as quickly as I could.

"You know this means war right. I'm giving you a head start, I will find you, and I will stop you from committing any other evil. Even if it means I have to stick a bullet in your head." I told him, love wasn't going to make me turn on my duty, not again. "Right, no going easy on me alright. I would like a proper fight," he said making me release a small smile despite the pit of disgust I felt building in my stomach for him. "Oh don't worry Mr Euphoria."

"In war there is no love nor mercy."