"I didn't know what they were, I just knew that they had a huge price on them in the market-"

"In SHADOWS market. Jungkook please tell me you didn't sell that laptop to them," I naturally stood up in shock, gripping onto the cell wall before falling onto my knees. "You did..." I face palmed with a million thoughts pacing through my head at once.

"You really are the worst person," I started chuckling, that's how astounded I was, I was in disbelief of how horrible my luck was. "You have a gift in making people despise you, just when I thought no he's not THAT bad, you made me hate you more bit by bit every day-"

"YOU DON'T HATE ME!"

"NEITHER DO YOU!"

"You don't think I notice your eyes wander down to my lips every other second? You think I can't practically hear your thoughts screaming they want me? I see the love in your eyes, so stop acting like you hate me. Because you don't," I spat.

"I'm trying. I won't kill someone I love, I'm going to make myself hate every inch of the body that I kissed every night," he said.

"Fine," I slowly lifted my eyes from the floor, meeting his with a glare.

"Unlove me, I dare you."

Silence.

He had been left speechless for the first time ever, it was the first time he was challenged to do such a thing. First time he didn't wish to accept a challenge.

"I'm not all an idiot you know. I didn't sell Shadow what they wanted just for money, only a fool would give them what they were eager for without knowing what they'd get in return." He began, "what did you get in return your highness? Weapons? Drugs?" I rolled my eyes, still in disbelief of his actions.

"Their location."

My heart immediately jumped in excitement. The name Shadow came from how they would excel in doing the most absurd illegal stuff and never being caught, they'd be a Shadow. You know they're there but you can never catch them. Finding their location was the same as attempting to find the sun during the night. Impossible.

"They've lost their touch. They were so desperate to find that laptop that they didn't think twice about installing an advanced VPN in all their servers. When they wired me the money I immediately broke through all the codes, easily finding their address." He leaned against a wall, proud of himself.

"Hold your horses Junglebook, this is Shadow we're talking about. They must have more than 50 base camps in Korea, what are we going to do with the location of a single one?" I asked. "Well we have to start somewhere, one base camp will lead us to another, then we'll find the root, the main problem," he replied.

"You keep talking about this 'we,' there is no we, why would there be a we?"

"Because this is Shadow we're talking about," he repeated my earlier words pushing me to a realisation that we had to work together if we wanted to bring Shadow down. "Why? Why would you help me? Don't you want to kill me? Don't you wish to do things just as horrible as they did me?" I questioned again.

"Of course I do. But my love, I'm a mafia not a dickhead-"

"Those are synonyms in my dictionary," I cut him off. I didn't trust him, he could have his own side motive. "It was my fault those trigger words landed in the wrong hands, I'll also be the same person to get them back, whether you believe me or not I genuinely want to help. I'll help you attain vengeance," he told me. I fell into deep thought, contemplating whether I should join our stained hans together or not.

"Fine," I gritted my teeth, swallowing my pride. "But we'll need an entire team, I can get my agents and you can have your men join too-"

"No," Jungkook cut me off.

"What do you mean no?"

"I mean no princess, do you want to hear it in the 13 other languages you speak?"

"It's 14 actually, I've been practicing French-"

"The point is, we aren't getting a team, we don't need one. You and me? Euphoria and Agent 001? Yeah that sounds terrifying enough,"

I let the smirk take over my lips, the thoughts of what we could accomplish when we weren't busy fighting unreasonably bringing a weird flock of butterflies to my stomach.

We sat in quiet for a bit, I found it ridiculous that we would work together. Not after all the betrayal, all the arguments, all the obvious toxicity between us. "So you really don't remember anyone you killed?" He just had to speak amidst the peace.

"No, my personal memories were shut off at the time, I don't remember their faces or what I did to them, but I remember a long list of people on their hit list. I can only assume I killed all of them," I shrugged.

"How long were you under their control for?" He questioned again, "3 months. My brain would only shut off for 24 hours, but every time that period of time was about to be up, they'd state the words again. I was gone for 3 entire months, you have no idea what that did to me. To realise I lost 3 months of my life to murder," I clenched my jaw.

"So then how did you end up breaking free?" He asked as I noticed his hands naturally scrunching up into a fist hearing what was done to me. It would infuriate anyone but seeing him express his dissatisfaction with how I was treated brought me joy. He was feeling something at least.

"One day there was chaos in the CIS building, something that must've distracted them from me. They didn't pay attention to the time and when I awoke, when I checked the date, I knew exactly what happened. What they made me do, and then I knew what I had to do."

flashback

I stumbled around the place, knocking over a million things while trying to simply get to the door. I could hear someone's cries from where I was being held. It only added onto the immense pain I was feeling in my head, it felt like someone had placed a mountain on it.

I managed to find Baekhyun, curled up in a corner scared out of his wits. To say he was horrified was an understatement, it looked like someone had made him relive the worst moment of his life. They did. They made him relive the abuse he received as a child, his father was an alcoholic who killed his own wife, right in front of him.

What kind of monsters would make someone go through that again and again?

"So the agent awakes," the scientist walked in, immediately grabbing my cheeks with one hand, flashing a light into my eyes. "Pupils slightly shaky, subject seems unstable, possibly due to the brain damage on the, left? Side-" I yanked him off of me, flipping him the whole way over harshly to make him land flat on the ground. "And very aggressive," he groaned.

"How m-m" I bit the inside of my cheek realising the question I wished to ask would result in a waterfall of guilt. "How many did I kill?" I forced myself to question.

"12,564."

A gasp naturally released my mouth at the absurd number. "You killed more than a hundred people daily, practically wiped out all the enemies of Shadow in Korea. Fantastic you are," he chuckled, standing up properly.

"So I only killed bad people, right?" I tilted my head, thinking it would relieve me of some of the guilt. "Of course not, in order to kill some of those enemies there had to be civilian casualties. If someone saw your precious face it wouldn't be good would it?" He replied. "You made me kill people because they saw my face?" I breathed out.

"I mean not me, I just helped them make you do it, you had to stay a secret beautiful," he shrugged. "And we were going to set you free for a little bit but, there's one more problem we need you to kill," he smiled innocently before relaxing his entire face.

"Void."

"Seven."

My head immediately began to pain again, he was saying the code words. The pain from it dropped me to the floor, flashbacks of my worst memory returned. They were knocking at my door as if they wasn't going to barge in anyways to torment me.

"Border."

I tried to get my mind together, finding the first sharp object laying on the floor. I quickly turned around to stab the scientist straight in the heart.

"No more."

end of flashback

"I was sent back into the training room for another 2 years, because they thought if I was so remorseful of the murders I couldn't even remember, then I wasn't worthy. I wasn't a monster yet. I was released at 18, completely numb to everything, just as they wanted," I told him.

"Don't you crave vengeance? How did you hold yourself back from going after them all these years?" Jungkook asked making me sigh, I didn't know the answer to that. "If you're going to die, die after getting revenge," he said.

"What if I don't want to?"

"Huh? Why wouldn't you want to bring those motherfuckers down for good? They put you through so much and you're really going to let them off the hook? Is this the 'I'm going to die so I don't care' bitch or the bored of being the top agent in the world bitch talking?" He asked, angry at my words.

"It's Kim Byeol talking."

"Not the Kim Byeol I knew."

"You didn't know the real Kim Byeol, baby," I gave him a hard to swallow truth pill. He didn't know me at all. "Why?"

He shortly spoke, I knew what he meant. Why did I lose all will to do anything?

"Well when you take a step back, and give a moment for reality to sink in, you start to ponder. You question everything you've ever known, your beliefs, morals etc. After realisation painfully sets in you look in the mirror. While looking at your pitiful state, a question you already know the answer to escapes your lips."

"Is life truly worth fighting for?"

"You sound suicidal," his entire face was relaxed yet you could tell his mind was dancing with worry. His words made me release a small chuckle, "I'm not. I wouldn't call myself that, but... I guess if someone held a gun to my head and threatened to blow my brains into bits..."

"I wouldn't beg them not to pull the trigger."