Byeol POV

I felt like shit for arguing with him, but I couldn't tell him the truth. He has all the reason to suspect me, but this drug, this fucking drug. It made his words sting in the worst place, in the worst way possible.

If I was in his position I would've shot me already, but his eyes looked so regretful at his actions. Never would I have ever thought he would apologise for his words.

"Answer me Jeon-"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE DIFFERENT." He yelled, frustrated, but it wasn't clear if he was feeling that way because of me, or because of himself.

"Because you remind me of her..." he spoke again. I didn't dare to ask who this her was. "I'm sorry," he repeated, before walking out the room, clearly tired. He left me standing there guilty, I saw him heading towards his bedroom, I thought maybe he should get some rest, he deserves it from everything that happened last night.

*a couple hours later*

I sat restless in my room, unable to get my mind off of him.

His words running through my head, his repentfull expression saying he was sorry. Everything made me feel like I had to do something. I took up the courage to walk up to his room.

I knocked on the door and after a few minutes a sleepy Jungkook revealed himself.

"What now Byeol, I told you i'm tired-"

"I hate arguing with people I don't know, I personally find it absolutely pointless," I spoke.

"What are you trying to say?" He asked, barely fully awake. "Let's start again. We both said things we didn't mean, so let's forget about everything that happened today," I spoke, unable to make eye contact even though this was my attempt at making amends.

"And how do you plan to do that?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Well, first off, I think we should start with introductions," I said.

"But we already know each other's names-"

"Hi, I'm Kim Byeol," I extended my hand for a handshake awkwardly, still looking everywhere but in his eyes. I could see him slightly smile from the corners of my eyes. He ruffled his messy hair, accepting the handshake.

"Uhm hi? I'm Jeon Jungkook,"

I pulled his hand and started running, you could say I was jogging though, my speed wasn't amazing due to the wound still hurting me.

"I'm tired!" He screamed but I wouldn't stop, I led him into the garden, knowing it was the only peaceful place in the whole house.

"I wanna get to know you, Jeon Jungkook," I smiled, catching my breath while plopping down onto the grass slowly.

"Why did you randomly decide to get to know me?" He asked.

"I told you, I find it pointless to argue with people I don't know, we're gonna have to see each other for a long time, arguments are gonna come and go, we might as well get to know each other, don't you think?" I replied, plucking a rose from the bush.

"Ow," I dropped the rose after one of the thorns pricked me, cringing at the slight sting.

"Well aren't you a fucking idiot, show me," he said, grabbing my hand to see the blood coming out of my index finger. He pulled out a napkin from his pocket to wipe it, blowing on it slowly. "Roses, beautiful yet dangerous, sounds like someone I know," he chuckled, looking at me but I was already staring at him, watching his kind actions in wonder.

"You're not a bad person, so why? Why did you choose to be a mafia?" I asked. "Circumstances force things sometimes Byeol, you wouldn't understand," he said, sitting down properly.

"Then make me understand, tell me your story, I'm here to listen, shared sorrow is half a sorrow," I said, watching him lay flat on the grass to get comfortable first.

"When I was born, everyone went crazy from happiness, you could say they felt euphoric. But soon after, my dad got ill. He went to the hospital for a checkup and as a little boy excited to see the world, I went with him. They did the normal tests, then the doctor asked who I was," he began.

"He's my son, my dad spoke proudly, ruffling my hair, adoring me like I was some gem. The doctor laughed thinking my dad was joking. But as my dad's face grew confused, the doctors laughter quietened," Jungkook stopped in his words, closing his eyes to take a deep breath.

"But sir... you're sterile."

My eyes flew wide, unable to hide my surprise, I didn't expect his story to take such an extreme turn. Because if his 'dad' was sterile that means his mother had sexual relations, with another man.

"That day, my dad took me home, not one word during the whole ride. All I remember is him grabbing my mums hair, dragging her out the house, calling her a slut," he spoke.

"Jungkook if you wanna stop you can-"

"No, talking about it will make me feel better. After that, my dad stopped. Stopped loving me, stopped caring for me. He became a drug addict. I was only 8, but I took care of my dad. One day he kicked me out the house. Saying it was too hard to take care of me, even though I'd learned to care for myself," Jungkook forced himself to tell the story.

I hesitantly placed my warm hand on his, trying to tell him it was ok to let out the tears but he tilted his head back, not wanting to let them drop.

"That's when Mr Lee; Taeyong's dad, found me. He accepted me, took care of me, and helped me get back into contact with my mum. He was the first person to ever hold his hand out to me, the first person to tell me it was okay to not be okay. He was the first person to hand me a gun," he explained.

"I looked up to him, a role model for me, but my mum thought he was a bad influence, she never liked this mafia stuff, she thought it was too dangerous for a little kid like me to be around. She preferred the CIS, she thought if I wanted something to do with action I should become an agent or something," he let out a low chuckle just at the thought.

"How come you didn't become one then?" I asked.

"My mum was murdered. I thought it was an extreme matter, I thought it should be reported to a big criminal catching organisation like the CIS, but they declined it. They had all the fucking facilities to look into everything and find her killer, but they decided it was minor, that's why I can't stand any of them," he rolled his eyes thinking about them.

"I realised justice doesn't exist in the real world, in reality the police don't do shit for people who don't have a social status. They make gangsters and mafias look bad when most of them choose that route because they have no other choice. I watched Mr Lee get justice, get revenge from all the people who wronged him by killing, and that was the day I chose this route," he sighed.

"At her funeral, I swore on her grave that the Euphoria people felt when I was born, would be the Euphoria I would feel when I killed the person who took her life," he finished, turning his face to my direction to see my reaction.

Nothing but sympathy was to be seen in my eyes. It felt as if we both had reasons for being a cold hearted, as if we both had reasons for being monsters.

"Why do you feel comfortable telling me your stories? When I read your information in the booklet it strictly told me to never mention your parents. So how comes you're willing to tell me everything," I asked.

"I have reasons," he shrugged, "c'mon Byeol, it's your turn, I bet you have a lot of stories from North Korea," he said, flipping the attention to me.

"Well my story isn't particularly exciting."

"My parents played hide and seek with me every Friday when my dad used to come home from military duty. One day, I closed my eyes and when I opened them. They were gone, not hidden in some great place, gone. Turns out, they escaped, and left me behind," I scoffed, swallowing any sort of feeling that tried to become a lump in my throat.

"The soldiers threw me into a factory for orphans, and told me I was left behind because I was too much of a burden for my parents, that I would've stood as an obstacle for them to escape. So to get their happiness, they left me to die," I clenched my jaw.

"Do you hate them?" He questioned.

"How can I? How could I possibly hate the only blood I have in this world? I can't hate them, they are my parents after all, but what they did isn't something that can ever be forgiven. There was a time where I felt like I was the problem, like it was my fault for being too hard to love. But, there was someone who helped me change those thoughts," I continued.

"Sounds like you've got some romance stories for me to hear, go on go on," Jungkook said curiously, shifting closer to me.

"Well, he was my first love, but we didn't really have a chance to do anything, romantic. We were in North Korea after all. He was the first person to make me feel all tingly in my stomach, the only person I had ever felt like risking my life for," I smiled, thinking about my good times with Jaechan.

"But I guess we weren't meant to be," I released a breath, changing my expression completely.

"Why? What happened?"

❝I killed him.❞