Laura Thompson's POV (Present Year: 2023)

Log Entry: 370 Days Till Launch

It's amazing how fast time flies.

I mean, it feels like just yesterday we were all cramped into Elon's office back in Cali signing our lives away!

Everything going on still seems so unreal.

I swear I wake up every morning, pinching myself just to make sure I'm not living in some type of dream.

But, that's besides the point.

I want to look back on this journal and recount the experiences I had through all of this, not re-read my rambling tangents!

A lot has gone on that I need to get into this book, so I guess for now, until I have some more time, I'll just skim the surface on some things.

For starters, everyone on the Crew has become pretty close to each other. Let's just say there's been quite a few late night board game competitions... (I won that game of RISK fair and square, until Mark plucked off half my armies without me looking! I will get my revenge, Marko!)

Flight training has been going surprisingly well! I'm actually learning quite a bit! Lemme tell ya, flying a massive spaceship in vacuum is nowhere close to flying a Cessna at 3,000 ft, that's for sure! So far, I've only managed to screw up a couple (couple hundred) times, but I'm still learning! Hey, at least I haven't broken the simulator entirely, right?

The Flight Instructor also mentioned that sometime in the near future, Elon and I will be spending the afternoon in the Neutral Buoyancy Laboratory (NBL), practicing a worse case scenario Spacewalk... I'm actually pretty nervous about that... Being 40 ft under water in a spacesuit is gonna be pretty freaky... Thankfully, E'll be with me, so at least I'm not alone.

Speaking of my Flight Partner... (Oh, boy... the rambling begins now.)

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO PERFECT?

He's incredibly intelligent, kind, respectful, compassionate, supportive... I could literally go on and on if I had more paper!

Not to mention his extremely good looks! The way his hair looks after he runs a hand through it... His deep brown eyes when they're alight with that fiery determination that always seems to follow him... His smirk... (That dang smirk! Gets me every. single. time!)

Okay, I'll stop now.

But, wait!

The fact that he's so humble towards everyone he meets is just so admirable! Even though people on the outside likely just see him for his monetary worth and try to crush any progress he makes towards his goals, the man literally just gets up and continues on!

I just wish he would make the first move.

It's becoming clearer and clearer that he sees me as more than just a friend, a co-worker...

And, I've finally managed to curb my doubt on all of that.

But it's been so obvious since day one! He literally offered to drive me home! That's not something someone would do if they didn't like the person they offered it to!

He's been flirting with me since day one.

I've just been too blind and preoccupied to see it fully.

I mean, I understand he's respecting my boundaries and all, but there's something to be said for the element of surprise...

But anyways...

I think today is the day.

I'm gonna tell him how I feel, one way or another.

And, hopefully, my assumptions are correct.

If not...

Rejection is gonna sting.

With a rather giddy sigh, I close the small notebook I'd managed to snatch from one of the offices onsite, shoving it into the drawer on the nightstand beside my bed as I flop back against the pillows, staring absentmindedly at the ceiling.

Now... How am I gonna tell him? We already have a super tight schedule today...

I guess I could just say it straight out?

No, that'd be too point blank.

And then there's the idea of being rejected-

My thoughts are interrupted by a sharp rap on my bedroom door, the sound startling me slightly.

Glancing at the clock, a cloud of confusion settles within my headspace.

If it's E, he's earlier than usual...

Over the past while, we've developed the habit of going for early morning walks around the entire Complex at JSC, chatting about, well, anything from flight procedures to our weirdest childhood memories.

However, he's never this early.

In fact, he's usually running late.

As my confusion grows, I quickly rush towards the door, unlocking it and throwing it open.

"Good morning to you too!" Elon chuckles, referring to my rather aggressive door opening as I just stand there, slightly shocked while I quickly look him over.

Uniform, freshly shaved face... Slight smell of cologne...

I sigh, a smile finding it's way to my lips as I prop the door open with my foot, still looking over the man in front of me.

And two cups of coffee.

"You're here earlier than usual." I hum, my smile never fading as I slip into my standard military grade boots and grab my ID badge from the hanger in the closet beside the door.

"Yeah... I just figured we'd go a bit earlier today, that's all."

I nod, feeling his gaze wander over me as I close the door, kicking it in order for the locking mechanism to actually lock.

For some reason, my door hasn't been locking on it's own lately. It's just one of those things, I guess.

"Well," I start, turning to face Elon with a bright smile as he hands me over one of the cups from his grasp. "Anything new with you?"

He shakes his head as we begin our walk, our paces almost instantly synchronizing with each other.

"Nope," Comes the simple reply before he continues. "Though if you count the chaos in the Media about my sudden disappearance, I guess that's something new."

"They've been jabbering about that ever since we've started Training," I murmur, my face screwing up in a look of utter bewilderment. "So why all the buzz now?"

"It would seem they've just put the pieces together that I'm actually not doing the usual... And it likely doesn't help that I haven't Tweeted anything in quite awhile."

"You haven't been keeping up with your Twitter?" I muse aloud, a rather surprised tone to my voice. "I would've figured you'd have tried to kept the Public at ease while we're gallivanting around, preparing to, well, essentially go on a top secret Mars mission."

Elon shrugs as he pushes open the door outside to the cooler Texas morning air, holding it open as I walk through.

"In all honesty, I almost forgot I even had an account." He chuckles, rejoining me at my side once more as the door closes softly behind us. "I guess that's what happens when you spend almost all day stuck in a simulator."

"Fair enough," I nod, taking a sip of the warm beverage in my hands as we continue onward, side by side.

A comfortable silence falls between us, the sound of our boots against the pavement the only steady sound.

I could tell him now, maybe?

He seems in a good mood...

Then again, he's always in a good mood.

Well, around me anyways.

Let's do this!

I can do this!

Here it goes-

"We're landing with abnormal surface wind gusts today, right?" Elon questions, breaking the silence while ruining my shot.

Well then... So much for that idea.

Strike one.

"Y-yeah." I stammer, taking a rather hurriedly sip of my coffee.

"So that means we'll need more side thrust than normal to over correct..." He murmurs, eyes darting back and fourth almost as if he can see everything happening in his head. "That's gonna use up quite a bit of fuel."

I nod, my composure rushing back into me as I get swept up in my Flight partner's train of thought.

"We should have enough in the reserves if we need to tap into those... I don't plan on using them, though."

The man beside me turns to face me, his ever so charming smile across his features.

"With you at the controls, I'm sure we'll be just fine."

I return his smile with a light chuckle, shaking my head.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"Don't say that, Sweetheart." Elon hums lowly as he begins to drift towards me ever so slightly. "Your piloting skills are coming along faster than the Instructors can keep up with."

"What makes you say that?" I mutter, a sudden heat rising to my face as I feel his hand gently brush mine.

I pull away instinctively, not bothering to say anything aloud.

Did he do that on purpose?

Or was the ground just a bit uneven there?

"Have you not noticed how fast they've been scrambling to keep throwing obstacles in your way?" He elaborates, pulling me from my indecisive thoughts.

"Uh..." I stammer, my thoughts re-focusing on the subject at hand. "I can't say I have."

"Well, I'd consider these high winds on descent today your first major obstacle."

I nod in agreeance as we near the training building.

No one else is around.

"Hm." I muse, rolling over my wrist, checking the time.

7:30 AM.

People should be here by now...

"We're just a tad bit early today." I laugh, glancing at Elon with a smirk.

"Better than being late." He shoots back, his own smirk appearing.

"Says the one who is almost late for everything!"

"At least I'm early for once!"

I can't help but roll my eyes as we near the building's front doors, a sudden rush of playfulness washing over me.

"I'll race you to the doors." I challenge, my smirk not leaving my features.

Elon stops in his tracks, turning to face me with a rather perplexed look on his face.

"Why would I-"

"On your marks, get set, go!" I declare, cutting his sentence short as I speed towards the doors in front of me, leaving my Flight partner in my dust.

I'd be lying if I said running in heavy military boots is easy.

It really isn't.

But, I guess that's the perks of training to be an Astronaut.

Physical fitness plays a large role in training, especially at the very beginning.

Having fitness classes before dawn and after dusk everyday for a solid four months is not a real exciting thing, but necessary, nonetheless.

And now, all that hard work is paying off.

I'm in better shape than I have been in a very long time.

And I think the rest of the Crew is, too.

"Come on, slow poke!" I yell behind me, turning slightly to see where the man I had left behind is at.

"Who's the slow poke now?" A familiar voice teases from beside me suddenly as I whirl around.

Somehow, Elon managed to catch up with me.

And now, thanks to my distraction-

"Looks like I win." He chuckles, pulling open the door as I run past him and into the air conditioned lobby.

"Yeah! Only because you distracted me! I turn around to see where you're at and the next thing I know, you're beside me!" I retort, laughing as I begin to regain my breath.

"I still won, though."

"Yeah, yeah."

The pair of us stand in the cool lobby for awhile, catching our breaths and frankly, relishing the feeling of the air conditioning.

"My my!" A cheery voice sounds from behind us, making us both turn around in surprise. "You two look like yous just ran half a marathon!"

Do we really look that disheveled?

"Mary!" I smile, waving at the older woman and ignoring her comment. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm just lovely, dear! Thank you for asking! How are the pair of you doin' in those fancy flyin' simulators? I heard you're piloting!" She exclaims, her gaze drifting from me towards Elon, her tone suddenly sounding rather serious. "And I hear you're the Commander. Good for you, son. Taking charge is no easy task, especially when you have other people depending on ya."

We both exchange rather confused glances.

"Indeed," Comes E's simple response, his whole demeanor suddenly shifting... Almost becoming rather... dark and gloomy.

What the?

"Well! I better be going! I've got a meeting to attend!" Ms. Lee bubbles once more, her previous air of seriousness evaporating as she continues on past us. "Have a fabulous day, you two!"

"Y-you too!" I stammer with a wave, the older woman's sudden actions catching me off guard as she leaves Elon and I behind in the lobby.

A silence settles around us once more as we both take a seat on the seats lining the walls, watching as the time slowly ticks by.

"You okay?" I muse aloud, turning towards the man beside me who appears to be staring off into space, lost in who knows what kind of thoughts.

No reply.

"Elon?" I urge once more, nudging him lightly.

"Hm?" He hums, quickly zoning back in on reality, shaking his head slightly as if to clear away his thoughts.

His startled gaze meets my confused one.

"Are you okay? When Mary mentioned about your role as Commander your entire mood just seemed to-"

"I'm fine, Lori." He smiles gently, cutting my sentence short. "I've just got quite a bit on my mind right now, that's all."

I nod slowly, a wave of sudden guilt nagging at me.

Could he be afraid of his position?

Maybe I should've taken it in the first place...

Then he wouldn't be feeling like this...

But then again, everything going on in the Media...

"That's understandable." I finally murmur, shoving my thoughts aside as I glance at the time.

8:00 AM.

"Well, I can't say I'm ready to do this." I chuckle nervously, making my way to my feet as Elon does the same, sighing heavily.

"You'll do just fine! You need to trust yourself more."

"That's quite difficult to do, ya know."

"Just try a bit harder, why don't you!"

"Oh, shut up."

"You know you love me."

My heart flutters in my chest as a blush quickly rises to my cheeks.

That is a very true fact.

Too bad I don't have the guts to tell you.

****

"Alright! Great job, Thompson! Why don't we all take a break and be back here in 10?" Our Instructor, Jason, suggests, his voice echoing in the fairly large training room.

"Sounds good to me," I agree, pulling myself out of the seat with much more effort than needed. "I can't wait for that weightlessness. Life'll be so much easier while in transit."

I hear Elon chuckle as my heavy boots hit the concrete floor beneath me.

"You can say that again." He nods as we both head over towards the small seating area off to the side.

Since the simulator, as well as all it's power supplies and backups, take up so much of the room, a few couches and coffee tables shoved rather haphazardly into the corner by the door make up the small area.

"Anyone want a cup of Coffee? Tea?" Jason inquires as I plop down on the couch, my Flight partner joining me at my side.

"I'd gladly take a Coffee!" I yawn, stretching my arms out in front of me. "Some caffeine might just get me through the rest of the day."

"Mr. Musk?" The man standing at the door inquires once more, waiting for a reply.

"E," I murmur, elbowing him lightly which quickly brings him back to the present.

"Sure, that'd be great. Thank you."

And with that, Jason turns on his heel, leaving Elon and I alone on the couch.

Awfully close to each other, mind you.

Maybe now would be a good time to tell him?

I glance up at the man sitting beside me, who once again, seems to be lost in his world of thoughts.

I wonder what he thinks about...

Maybe he's having the same mental battle as I am...

Nah, that's just wishful thinking.

I allow my gaze to wander back to his.

Still thought hopping.

I guess I could try...

I mean, we're stuck on a couch together...

"I'm back!" Our Instructor's sudden voice declares as he bursts through the door, beverages in hand.

That breaks Elon and I from our thoughts real quick.

Strike two.

Geez! All the interruptions!

"So? Everyone all good for the next sim?" Jason asks, placing the warm drinks on the small table in front of us.

I simply nod, taking a sip from the cup placed in front of me.

Bitter.

At least it'll keep me awake.

"Great! I'll go get everything prepped."

Time to see how well an invisible Starship deals with high speed Martian winds.

This oughta be fun.

****

"Beginning descent to the surface. How are our systems looking?" I muse aloud, my rather sweaty palms itching to take over manual control.

"All systems are green." My Flight partner replies as I nod, confirming that fact as I glance at the iPad strapped to my upper leg.

Relax, Laura.

You already know what's going to happen.

The computer will unexpectedly shut down and then you'll have to take over manually.

"I can do this." I murmur, watching the various read outs on the screen above me.

Everything is looking just fine-

"Warning. Situation violates Autonomous flight parameters. Manual override strongly advisable." A sudden computerized voice barks out, startling me even more than the numerous pop ups appearing on the read out screen.

What do I do now?

My thoughts begin to freeze up.

My sweaty hands begin to shake.

"You're fine, Laura." Elon's calm yet urgent voice sounds from beside me, breaking me from my thoughts. "I'll clear the pop ups, just take over manual control."

"Right... Manual control..."

Gently, I begin to level the vessel out, vertically, that is. (It's not like a plane, in this sense.)

"Come on..."

Yet another obstacle appears.

The wind.

"Damn it!" I curse lowly as I watch the live read outs.

The winds are blowing me completely off target.

"Correcting course..."

Gently once again, I use the thrusters to slowly creep my way back to the appropriate mark, fighting the wind the entire way.

"Fuel?" I muse aloud, the brief conversation from earlier coming to the forefront of my mind.

I don't want to use those reserves.

"You'll be fine." My Flight partner replies, his tone still carrying an urgency.

In other words, put this thing on the ground!

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the dots on my read out screen align and I initiate the final landing burn.

"Aaand... we're on Mars!" I whoop, throwing my hands in the air, smiling like a madwoman.

A rather loud series of applause begins to arise from behind the simulator, confusion settling over me.

Where did all these people come from?

Casting my gaze over to Elon, I shrug.

He appears just as confused, though his excitement seems to surpass my own.

I guess we'll soon find out, then.

I hop out of my chair, the effort much less than last time, though I slightly wince as my feet hit the floor.

Now in front of me are quite a few NASA employees, all wearing wide grins and exhausted features.

Why do they all look so tired?

I glance at my wrist, shock running through me at the time.

9:30 PM? Already? How?

"Well, we landed on Mars in a simulator with Starship specs!" I cheer, giving the small crowd in front of me a thumbs up and a smile.

"You landed on Mars in a simulator with Starship specs..." Elon whispers lowly as he slings his arm around me in a friendly fashion pulling me against his side, his grin never faltering.

My heart begins to do backflips, while my stomach fills with sudden butterflies at his touch.

"Y-yeah." I stammer, still smiling as he lets me go, his gaze meeting mine almost as if to say, 'I know how you feel.'

And then, he's gone, chatting with a few NASA employees about who knows what.

Elon's right.

I landed a Starship sim on Mars.

Maybe my piloting skills are as good as he thinks, after all...

****

"Well, we didn't die on impact!" I laugh for what seems to be the gazillionth time in mere minutes, a spring to my step as Elon and I leave the flight training sim behind, saying goodnight to the NASA staff as we do so.

"Sure, but we likely lost a few of our heat shielding panels. So now, we'll just burn up and die on reentry back to Earth." The man beside me chuckles, our steps synchronizing.

I can't help but roll my eyes.

"You worry too much."

"That's not worry, that's logic."

"Whatever you say."

I sigh happily as Elon pushes open the door in front of us, holding it open as I walk through into the warm Texas night air, my gaze wandering towards the stars.

"You know," I start with another, softer sigh as the pair of us continue  back towards the Crew Quarters, side by side. "It's a shame my Grandmother isn't here anymore..."

I trail off, my happy, upbeat mood suddenly vanishing as I stop dead in my tracks.

Why are you going down this road now, Lori?!

You've had such an amazing day!

Why now?!

Elon quickly comes to a halt also, a look of slight confusion upon his features as he tries to assess the scenario at hand.

I, however, know exactly where my emotions are headed as tears begin to prick my eyes.

No! Not in front of him!

Not now, of all times!

"If only she could see me now..." I murmur, slowly collapsing onto a nearby bench, my flight partner following suit.

"She always told me to reach for the stars, E." I breathe, holding back tears, a lump rising in my throat as I turn to face the man beside me.

"She gave me this necklace as a constant reminder to keep reaching," I explain, my voice cracking as my fingers grasp the cool metal around my neck. "To keep chasing after my dreams... And now-"

Rather desperately, I search his gaze for anything to cling onto, anything to root me back to the present, something to break me out of these mournful emotions.

However, I come up empty, left only with his overwhelming compassionate gaze as the tears begin to freely flow down my cheeks, staining my Flight Suit.

"And now-"I gasp out in between sobs, "And now I've done it..."

As I sit there, a blubbering, nonsensical mess, I watch through blurred vision while Elon mentally debates with himself, his expressions changing so rapidly, it's almost impossible to tell how he's feeling.

"I'm sure she would be very proud." He murmurs softly, tucking a loose piece of hair behind my ear as his mental debate comes to a conclusion.

He hugs me.

Not in just a friendly side hug type of way, but a literal embrace.

My chest pressed against his, my face finding its way into the crook of his neck as I continue to cry.

"Shh..." He whispers soothingly, his hand somehow finding its way to my back as it gently begins to rub in circles. "It's okay..."

We stay like that for what seems to be an eternity, my sobs slowly beginning to become sniffles until finally, I pull away, drying my eyes with the sleeves of my uniform.

"Thank you," I nod, my voice cracking slightly as I look Elon over with a watery smile.

My tears had managed to stain his Flight Suit as well.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." I apologize, a light wave of embarrassment washing over me.

The man in front of me frowns.

"There's no need to apologize, Laura."

The way he says my name sends a shiver up my spine. Or was that the breeze?

"Crying is only natural. I'm just glad I was here to help you out of it."

I nod solemnly, fresh tears trying to fall once more.

"So am I..."

We both sit in silence for a while longer, my head finding a resting spot against his side as we both admire the sky above us.

This would be the perfect chance to tell him how I feel.

But do you know how you feel to begin with?

What if you're rejected?

You'd ruin your friendship!

With a sigh, I shift away from Elon, my doubts keeping me silent.

Strike three. You're out today, Laura.

"We should probably head back, then?" He muses aloud, turning to me with a small smile.

"Probably." I nod as Elon makes his way to his feet, helping me back to mine as well.

I simply smile up at him, my smile a genuine sign of thanks.

The rest of the walk back to the Crew Quarters building is silent, other than the sounds of our boots against the pavement beneath us. Just like this morning.

Silently, we approach the door, Elon quickly scanning his ID card to get us inside.

"We were just running some extra sims, right?" He murmurs as we hurriedly make our way down the seemingly never-ending corridor, our footsteps slightly dampened by the carpet.

"Right..." I reply, catching his drift as we near the common area. "E?"

He comes to a halt, turning to face me.

"Hm?" He hums lightly, making his way over to where I had stopped in my own tracks.

We're now standing practically toe to toe, I'm looking up, he's looking down.

"Thank you, again."

Elon chuckles softly, a genuinely happy smile making its way to his features.

"You're welcome."

Once more, we stand there, our gazes locked, lost in our own little worlds.

"Well, I should probably be going," He starts, breaking the silence that had settled around us. "I'm sure I have plenty of emails and-"

I abruptly cut his sentence short as I wrap him in a tight hug.

"Don't work yourself too hard." I murmur, gazing up at him once more. Elon shakes his head, a smirk finding its way to his features.

"No promises, Sweetheart." He whispers, eyes wandering over me as I pull away from the embrace, a blush dusting my cheeks.

"Well, I, uh..." I stammer, fighting to keep my emotions at bay as best they can. "I'm gonna go grab something to eat before I call it a night."

The man in front of me nods, his smirk still evident.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning then, bright and early."

"Bright and early," I echo with a light laugh as Elon turns to continue on his way.

"Have a good night!" He calls over his shoulder, still smiling broadly.

"You too." I murmur, watching his large form become smaller and smaller until he reaches the end of the hallway, stops and waves at me.

I wave back, a slight pang of sadness worming it's way through me as I watch him completely disappear from my view.

I have to tell him how I feel before I break at a bad time...

And by the events of tonight...

I'd definitely say he feels the same way...

The way he just pulled me close after that sim... with everyone else around...

Surprisingly, this time around, there's no doubt to nag at me, just a sudden rush of warmth replacing the coldness of my sorrow.

"Alright..." I mumble aloud, making my way into the common area, passing the couches and tables. "Let's find something to eat and then get some rest..."

With a yawn, I stumble into the kitchen, blindly heading into the large pantry, humming some sort of song under my breath in a vain attempt to keep myself awake.

"What are you doing still up?" A familiar feminine voice from behind me sounds, cutting my humming short as I whirl around, startled.

It's just... Vivian?

"Had to run some extra sims, that's all." I grunt, not really in any real mood to have a conversation anymore.

My friend hums lowly, passing me a granola bar and a bottle of water she somehow already managed to have found...

Was she here before me?

Does that mean she saw Elon and I?

My breath hitches in my throat as Vivian guides my slowly fading self back out to the living area, practically shoving me towards the couch now in front of me.

"Hey!" I hiss sharply as I catch myself against the cushions, scrambling to get to a sitting position.

"Sorry," She chuckles, opening her own water bottle as she takes a seat opposite to me. "You were just moving too slow."

I roll my eyes as I yawn once more, tearing open the small bar in my grasp.

Time seems to wear as we both sit there in silence, drinking our waters and eating rather disgusting granola bars, my nerves remaining on high alert.

"Who were you talking to in the hallway before you came in here?" Vivian asks nonchalantly, leaning forward in her chair slightly, her rather stern looking gaze locking with my suddenly nervous one.

I guess I'll just be truthful as much as I can be...

"Just Elon," I reply, my attention now solely focused on my now empty wrapper which I begin to neatly fold every so slowly.

"Huh." She murmurs, letting the air go silent again.

She's always seemed to suspect something was 'wrong' with me since this all started last year...

Has she finally put the pieces together?

"You two are a thing, aren't you?" My friend muses aloud, a slight hint of uncertainty in her tone as I hold back a surge of emotions.

"N-no." I stammer as the woman across from me raises an eyebrow questioningly. "What makes you think that?"

At this, she shakes her head, chuckling. "Oh, you know, maybe the fact that you faintly smell like cologne right now is enough of a solid evidence piece?"

I can't help but blush. "Vivi," I begin with a sigh, struggling to keep my emotions at bay. "I'm literally cramped into a Flight simulator with him for hours every day. And today was even longer! We had to run a few extra takeoff sims after hours!"

My friend shakes her head once more, a look of suspicion falling across her features.

"If you say so..." She sighs, making her way to her feet and heading towards the door. "Good night, Lori. Don't stay up too late, okay?"

I nod, still slightly shocked by my friend's sudden accusations.

"I'll try. Night."

And with that, Vivian turns sharply on her heel, leaving me alone in the large living space, with nothing but the soft whir of the air conditioning and my drifting, sleepy thoughts to keep me company.

Well, I never got the chance to tell Elon how I really feel...

I should've just said something while we were outside...

We were both so caught up in the moment...

I sigh, stretching out on the now rather comfortable feeling couch beneath me.

He'll probably be in here early tomorrow morning to check up on his emails...

I'll just tell him then...

My eyelids begin to force themselves closed as the ceiling above me blurs, my thoughts coming to a halt.

Soon enough, I'm floating.