“We have to leave, now.” I grit out as soon as I reach a drunken Jade, she laughs and leans on to her boyfriend who wasn't even as drunk as she and I were. Besides that, seeing someone I thought was out of my life for good put me in an horrible drunken mood. Also, I couldn't find my boyfriend anywhere! “Ryan please, you have to take me home I don't want to be here.”

          Seeing Justin brought back some unwanted memories and intense feelings, the way he looked at me put me on edge. Those hazel eyes staring at me lovingly, mine were probably doing the same; he had gotten so handsome and older, shit. He had a thin beard on his sharp jawline, the arms that held the art I once loved to trace, had gotten so much bigger. His hair? Oh god his hair, it was now a blonde mess instead of a sandy brown, I just wanted to grip it while his head was between my legs.

     Oh god I need help.

           “No! You can't leave quite yet, just wait a moment and I promise I'll take you guys to your place.” Ryan says frantically, thankfully breaking me out of my inappropriate thoughts of that man. Ryan then pulled Jade by his side tightly, causing her to smile and kiss along his cheek lovingly; I rolled my eyes.

           “Ryan, I want to leave now. You nor anyone else can stop me.”

         Just as I finish my sentence, Nigel appeared beside me with two drink in his hands, his eyebrows were furrowed as he glanced at me probably noticing my angry expression.  “What's the matter baby?” his deep voice asked over the loud music, instead of verbally answering him I simply shake my head. Of course I didn't want to tell him that an ex of mine is here in this moment, I still had to figure out how he even got an invite.

             “She was trying to escape her own party.” a drunken Jade told Nigel, I glared at her, wanting to slap her for bhaving an open mouth. Best friends don't snitch, but Jade wasn't in her right mind at the moment. “But Ryan stopped her because he's such a smart man, a sexy one too—”

           “Thats enough babe, let's go get you some water.”

        Ryan wrapped an arm around his fiancé's waist and escorted her away, leaving me alone with Nigel's concerned stare. “I don't know what's going on but I want to, what's the problem? ” he yelled over the music, he was concerned which wasn't a surprise. Nigel had a gift of knowing something was wrong, that's why I barely got away with things around him.

            “Its nothing, I just don't feel too well.”

     Nigel gave me a look from head to toe, “You don't look very sick, ” the glazen look of lust evident in his eyes, I nearly wanted to roll my eyes; at a time like this, he was lusting for me. Swiftly, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his chest with his lips trailing up my cheek,I shivered as soon as he reached my ear, huskily whispering  “In fact you look gorgeous tonight, happy birthday baby. ”

       The fact that I had alcohol in my system didn't help resist, it only drove me closer to his touch, forgetting any woes I had. Nigel then nuzzled his face into my neck while placing a small kiss onto my flesh, as he muttered on about how good I smelled. Since we were in a secluded area, our VIP section, I had let him touch me. Nigel was just as drunk as I was, which caused us both to forget everything that had been bothering us. Instantly I pushed the thought of him to the back of my mind, focusing on Nigel's lips trailing up my skin.

              A whimper escapes my lips once his rough hands squeezes my hips, “Nigel....” I trail off, not sure as to what I was going to say, my eyes flutter almost closing but snap open quickly when they meet the glare of a familiar pair of hazel orbs. My eyes widen as I see Justin standing still while bodies move around him, he just watched as Nigel kissed and caressed me under the dim lighting.

       Weird.

  Instead of pushing Nigel away, I encouraged his actions by gasping sexually into his ear and earning a low groan from him. “You've been very tempting lately, more than usual.” he taunts, if possible, pulling me even closer so my breast were pushed against his hard chest. “Will tonight be the night you finally give yourself to me sweetheart?”

        I'm not even sure if I have anything to give.

        “Y—Yes.” I stutter stupidly, blaming the alcohol instantly for my careless behavior and slurred words. Justin didn't disappear from my sight, in fact, he began to make his way towards me until he caught the attention of a group of wildly drunken group of women. My attention was on him as he accepted his fate and conversed with them, it wasn't until I felt  Nigel's chest rumble indicating that he was chuckling softly in my ear. He pulled away from me to look me straight in the eye, the dim lighting made it easy to see the slight flustered look on my face.  It was almost a whole minute of his intense gaze before I spoke up, “Why are you staring?”

        “I'm trying to see if you're serious because if you are, trust me baby I'm going to fuck you so hard.”

         My eyes widen at his harshly blunt choice of words before I gasped softly with an amused expression, Nigel smiled but I knew how serious he was.  If there was one thing Nigel definitely could be, I would say determined. When Nigel first started to take interest in me, he obviously made sure I knew that he wanted me every chance he received. He was determined to take me out, even after embarrassing myself by bluntly telling him I was on a  No men strike.

     Yeah, I was stubborn.

      In the end, he managed to do it, I wasn't sure how; persistency?  Maybe charm? Not sure My mother's intrusions? Probably eighty percent.  But I was sure the other twenty percent was based on the fact that I was lonely, everyone around me knew it too. No one said anything to me about, only letting me live in my own comfort and I was glad. Even my mother, had stopped pestering me about getting married for a while. I wasn't ready to get married then and I'm damn sure not ready to get married now.

        “Nigel!”

          I wasn't sure who's voice that was but it was enough to untangle Nigel and I from each other's bodies. He was hesitant to release his tight grip on my hips, and look at the person behind me; I turned my body around to see James, his assistant, who stood by the stairs of the section. He caught my stare and smiled, James was a close friend to Nigel beyong his assistant duties. With his dark hair and green eyes, I had concluded that he had women lined up.

        Nigel pulled my body against his, my back hitting his hard chest, then asked James “Is it time already?” my eyebrows furrowed, time for what? James caught my curious look and chuckled before he nodded his head, I felt Nigel squeeze my body before telling me to follow him. Of course I asked questions as I was dragged out of the secluded area and through the sea of dance bodies. James had fell into step behind us, I was surprised to see him keep up with Nigel's long strides.

         It was when we reached the part of the venue where a stage awaited, that I knew Nigel was going to speak. He was always good with crowds, he probably was going to make them all sing the birthday song to me. I bit my lip as he stepped on the stage, then held a hand out for me; I took it while asking “The hell are you doing Mr. Roux? ”

          “Making my woman happy.”
    That simple sentence made my heart flutter as I stepped on to the small stage, Nigel grinned as I stood beside him. People hadn't started to notice that we were on stage until some had handed Nigel a microphone, the music had reduced to a low hum so he could speak. I was still confused as I stood there under the stare of familiar faces and new faces, some of the were drunk. “Bonjour, Good evening to all. I'm sorry to interrupt but I would just like to thank all of you who came out to celebrate the 26th birthday of the most important woman, besides ma, in my life right now.”

            The people in the audience hooped and hollered, most of them were drunk so of course they were cheering. I laughed silently as my eyes scanned the crowd briefly before settling back on Nigel's tall structure. He was already staring at me with a smile, then brought the microphone up to his lips. “This woman has been the most challenging obstacle I have ever had in my whole life— everyone is a little stubborn, but Sequoia here gave me hell. ”  Most of the audience laughed, I even laughed because I knew to a certain extent, that statement was true. “But I swear to you guys that it's all worth it because that challenge may end up being the change you needed. ”

           Nigel's eyes shined with a powerful emotion that I had only felt once in my life and sadly it wasn't for him. He then turned his body towards me and place his hand on my cheek, caressing it soft. My heart beat had sped up as he did so, a smile graced my lips as I listen to him speak so fondly of me; it made me..... happy. “You definitely are the change I needed Ma Cherì, you brought everything I was missing in my life. Love, happiness, headaches, hell, you still make me nervous.” he chuckles “That is why I know you are the love of my life, you're able to bring me to my knees to do this...”

            “Ni—” I began to say but I was cut off by shock.

           Nigel kneeled down on his knee in front of me causing collective gasps and squeals from the crowd, my eyes went wide as he pulled a small red box from his pocket and opened it to reveal an extremely expensive ring. My stomach dropped as he smiled up at me with his perfectly straight white teeth, I wanted to scream. I knew the next words that were coming, his short paused seemed like hours for me as I brought a hand up to cover my mouth.

         “ Sequoia Amelia Smith, Will you marry me?”

              The squeals and hollers were blocked out, I stared down at Nigel's hopeful eyes in shock and.... Awe. I wasn't ready to get married but did I want to? Hell yeah. Was I ready to agree to spend the rest of my life with this man? Was mentally prepared for another failed relationship? Was I even ready to share my heart with another male at all? All of these questions I had no answers to, it was nerve wrecking but I guess I had to figure it all out along the way; isn't that what life was all about?

     Winging it until you make it?

  Of course, so that was my decision, make choices that I wasn't sure of and see how they work out.

                 “Yes, oh my god Nigel...” somehow I manage to choke out, I was crying, and I didn't know why. Was I happy? Surprisingly, no. Why wasn't I excited that the man I love was asking for my hand in marriage? That he was willing to love only me, for the rest of his life. I felt almost guilty when Nigel rose to his feet quickly and hugged my waist as he lifted me off the ground. I was caught completely off guard when his lips crashed into mine, almost kissing the life out of me.

            Nigel pulled away with a wide grin, his grey eyes scanning my tear stained face. “My love, you just made me the happiest man on the damn planet.” he told me, I gave him the most genuine smile I could muster up at this moment. This whole situation was overwhelming, but somehow I could think straight and for some reason I can feel the glare of not only one set of eyes, but two. Instead of looking into the crowd, I focused my attention on Nigel, I grabbed his face and kissed him passionately.

            “I love you so much.” I say as I pull back from the kiss, An overwhelming feeling of guilt washed over me as he pulls me back for another with even more passion than the first, that would probably make my toes curl.

    I guess I had to live with it.

-

     The sun shined through a gap in the dark curtain, on to my face. I cracked my eyes open  and sighed as I was met with the familiar ceiling in Nigel's apartment. But he was nowhere to be found, usually he'd be next to me; staring at me until I stirred but today had been different. I lifted my hands above my head as I stretched and yawned softly, slowly but surely I sat up in the bed and glanced around the room.

       My clothes from last night had been tossed into the chair occupying the space in the corner of the room, while I saw Nigel's on the floor in front of the bed. The sight of his clothes made me laugh softly because of the story behind it, no we hadn't had sex, but we had gotten close to it. As always, his noisey phone interrupted our mood, causing us to just cuddle up in his bed. Before then, Nigel's had trouble taking off his clothes, a few attempts to unbutton his jeans had him cursing. Despite his protests I managed to crawl to the end of the bed and finish the task for him.

        “Jesus Christ, my fiancée is gorgeous.” a voice suddenly called out, I turned my head quickly as I was startled out of my reminiscent thoughts. Nigel stood in the doorway in his usual business attire, his dark mane messy as if he were constantly running his had through it. I rose an eyebrow at him as he made his way to the end of the bed and gripped my leg, my eyes widen and a squeal escaped my lips as he pulled me towards him. “Look who's finally awake.”

         I rolled my eyes and simply replied, “I wasn't sleep that long.” I glanced over at the clock and noticed it was almost four in the afternoon, maybe I did sleep too long. I looked up at nigel who was towering over my body with a pointed look. “Ok, maybe a few hours over my limit but I was tired. Last night was.....eventful. ”

          “Yes, it was. That is why I let you sleep, I know how overwhelming last night was for you. I still can't believe you said yes, then again you had no choice.”

           “Right? The fact that you proposed in front of eighty plus people made it hard to reject you, I don't like you enough to marry you.”

            Nigel's facial expression made it hard for me to suppress my laughter, when he noticed my amused expression he quickly leaned down and kissed me slow yet roughly; teasingly almost. My hands found their way to his already messy hair and rested there as his tongue had explored my mouth, a groan rumbled throughout his body as I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him closer to me. Finally he pulled away, A sensual sigh escaped my lips as his own lips found their way to the valley of my breast. He pushes the small material of my loose fitting crop top so he had excess to my bare chest.

          “You're so—” he breathes against my breasts, I moan and arch my back off of the bed as I feel the swirl of his tongue over my hardened nipple. He pulls away and looks at me with lustful eyes, his large hand trails up my hip, past my stomach stopping on my right breast; giving it a hard squeeze. “—So goddamn tempting, I wish I could lay here and hold you but I have business to take care of. ”

       I rolled my eyes.

          “As always, I'm not surprised.” I reply bitterly as I push my shirt down, he didn't stop me from moving out of his grip. Sitting up on the bed, I ignore Nigel's pleading look, the one he always gave me when he wanted me to be understanding of his hard work. “I have work to do also, a shoot with givenchy tomorrow then Balmain the next day and I have to be there to assist them, I guess I'll go in to make sure everything is set.”

           “Sequoia... Please don't start—”

          “Start what exactly? ”

        I fold my arms and raise an eyebrow at him expectantly, he only looked at me and shook his head. Exactly what I thought. He always held back from saying what he wants, I hated that. “How about this—” he says abruptly, since I was on the other end of the bed now, he had to get up and walk around to my side. “How about you come to my dinner meeting with my business partner? He wouldn't mind and we're going to your favorite restaurant. ”

            I thought about it, firstly I didn't want to sit around with a bunch of old men discussing shares, stocks, and interest rates. But I did want to spend more time with my fiancé and we were going to my favorite restaurant. There was a bar inside and I could just get slightly tipsy while they conversed. If there was alcoholic beverages, I would be perfectly fine.

       I looked at Nigel's begging eyes and cracked a small smile before giving in , “Fine, I'll go but you can't limit my drinks and you have to come to my next shooting.” I poked his chest with my finger, he only barked out a laugh and pecked my lips. “You're laughing like I'm not serious, Nigel ”

       “Okay, fine I won't limit your drinks— and I'll go to your damn shooting, just go get ready, woman.”

       “Yes sir.”

        I purred playfully as I stood from the bed , he groaned in agony and stood to his full height, towering over my small frame. He then reached out for me but I slapped his hands away, reminding him that I had to get ready. Nigel grumbled as he stalked into his walk in closet, although most of my clothes were in there, he still had a quarter of the closet while I occupied the other seventy five percent and this wasn't even my place.

         My place wasn't that far from the heart of Paris, it costs a load but thankfully I could afford it on my own.  Nigel was hoping to convince me to stop paying for it and move in with him but the last time I moved in with a man so quickly, it didn't end well. Besides, I love the privacy of my apartment, it reminds me of my old place in Miami except it doesn't hold any unwanted memories.

    But that unwanted memory managed to find me.

     Nearly forgetting my run in with him last night, I cursed as I recall the way he looked at me, he still looked at me like I was the only woman to ever step foot into his life. He still spoke to me as if I were his precious little— I don't know. And the fact that four whole years later I could still be affected by his presence, scares me. It worries me so much, what if I see him again? I don't know how a sober Sequoia would react, since the drunk version of me couldn't even handle him calling me doll again.

     I decided to push away the thought of him and focus on getting ready for the dinner in a few hours. Nigel was still rummaging in the closet as I walked passed him and into his bathroom. Not only had my clothes been here but a small amount of makeup and hygiene products resided in his condo. I grinned as I recalled him insisting that I moved some things into his place; he ended up getting more than what he asked for, let's just say he has about four sets of spring collections for Alexander Wang clothing and footwear, more that thirty pairs of jeans and much, much more.

        As much as I enjoyed thinking about how much Nigel's place is a self storage unit, I had to get ready before he blew his top off. Quickly, I discard my shirt and underwear then step into the shower since I didn't want to take so long. Knowing that I had to fix my hair and put on a minimal amount of makeup, I'd probably have to take more time on my hair since it was now to my waist and the bone straight look had turned to tangles since I stupidly went to bed without coverage for my hair.

      I quickly lathered my body with brown sugar scented soap, make sure I scrubbed away any trace of alcohol last night.  I carefully moved my hands over my stomach, making sure not to scrub too hard around my belly button; Jade talked me into getting my belly button repierced and since then, I've been carelessly forgetting about it. I've managed to loose about eight jewelry pieces in the shower because I would mistakenly pull them out like an idiot.

           I then rinsed my body off with the steaming hot water and turned the water off, a plush pink towel awaited me on the sink I quickly grabbed it knowing Nigel sat it out for me. With the towel around my body, I walked out to find Nigel on the bed with his phone in his hand; he looked troubled and confused. “Are you okay?” I asked as I walked towards him, he quickly looked up and sat his phone down.

        “oh yes, I'm perfect” he cleared his throat and stood before me, I gave him a skeptical look before turning on my heel and walking towards the closet. As I shuffled through the clothes, I hummed quietly as I narrowed down my choices; a tight fitted suede dress that happened to be a light gray or a silk fabric red dress. I furrowed my eyebrows as I trailed my hand over the material of both dresses. “You look too sexy in red.”

       Startled by his sudden appearance, I placed my hand over my chest and let out a deep breath. “You can't sneak up on a girl in a fucking closet, that's a recipe for an heart attack!” I reply back then turned towards the red dress, when Nigel says things are too sexy , he meas I shouldn't wear it; but I never listen because I don't have to. “get out, I'm about to get dressed.”

      “No way in hell am I gonna miss the pleasure of watching you slide into those lace panties of yours. ”

           “Yeah, well who says I'll even wear panties?”

       Nigel's eyes widen before I pushed him out of the closet while laughing at his desperate plea. As fast as I could, I slipped into the red silk fabric as it clung to my waist but dropped dramatically down my back; Nigel was going to kill me and I was grinning like a fool as I adjusted the dress and slipped into my shoes. With a satisfied hum, I slipped out of the closet and walked straight to my vanity table. Nigel was sitting at the edge of the bed as I leaned over and brushed the tangles from my hair, he was too engrossed in his cellphone to notice the clicking of my heels.

       As annoyed I was, I managed to fix my hair while nigel stayed on his phone laughing at what or whomever it was. I quickly applied a dark red lip stick before brushing my hair down with my hands, Nigel had now put his phone away and his eyes landed on me. They widened slightly but before he was given time to reply, I turned and gathered my things.

         “Sweetheart, you look gorgeous. ” he spoke tenderly from behind me as I grabbed my small clutch, I rolled my eyes at his attempt to compliment me; his contradiction should come in...five....four....three....two... “But, I just think that's a bit too much for tonight.”

        Another thing about Nigel, he judges every aspects of my clothing when we go out together and it angers me. He thinks that his judgment will make me change, it won't. No one I know seems to be bothered by my tight dresses, silk fabric, or tall heels; even if they do I won't care. The way dress shouldn't be a factor when it comes to judging me, but Nigel doesn't seem to get that. I don't care what he thinks.

        “I don't think its too much, I'm not about to argue with you on this nice evening. ”

             With that, I walked passed him and out of the room. Nigel's penthouse was large, a bit too big for me so the click of my heels echoed obnoxiously as I made my way towards the door with Nigel hot on my trail. I obviously ignored him as he tried to explain; I didn't mean it like that baby....

    I didn't care how he meant it.

    He knew that after a moment of no reply from my end, Nigel finally shut his mouth. I was thankful because the car ride to the restaurant was quiet and peaceful, I couldn't want to eat good and possibly get tipsy. Nigel was speaking on his phone as we pulled up to the restaurant, he suddenly hung up on whoever he was speaking to. As per usual, me being annoyed with his constant work, I shook my head and exited the car without waiting to be escorted out.

        “Sweetheart—” I hear him call out as he places the keys in the valet's hands and followed after my strides. I didn't get far, Nigel gently grabbed my waist and pulled me to his chest. “That was the last phone call for the rest of the night, I promise baby.”

          Yeah, right.

          I turned in his arms, his piercing gray eyes penetrate mine and I could tell that he was being genuine. “Do you promise?” I ask almost timidly, he smiled charmingly before putting his finger under my chin and pecking my lips softly.

          “You're lovely, I promise. Now, let's go enjoy ourselves tonight. Okay?”

        I nod in agreement and grasp his hand before saying, “Yeah let's go, don't want your business partner waiting while you're trying to grope me on the sidewalk.” Nigel grins as he leads me into the restaurant where we're immediately greeted by the hostess. An older French woman who happily led Nigel and I towards our table.

        “Hopefully Justin didn't order without us, since we were late thanks to you.” Nigel replies jokingly, I raise an eyebrow at the name that was just mentioned and continue to follow the hostess. “Before you meet this man , I want you to know that he is very..... blunt.”

       As we walked closer to the table, a tall brunette sat in one of the chairs. I looked up at Nigel who had the same confused expression. The woman saw us and stood up with a smile that'll blind us both. This can't be his business partner, I'm usually not the one to judge but god. If this is his millionaire business partner then I have nothing to say.

         “Hello, you must be Nigel. ” she had the thickest Russian accent, but being around different nationalities for years made it easy for me to understand her.

           “Yes?” Nigel answered back questioningly, before he could say anything else another person walked up behind the woman. My breath hitched as I made eye contact with those familiar hazel eyes, again. It hadn't been a full twenty four hours before he popped back up in my life. I wanted to run out of that restaurant and never turn back, my heart began to pump wildly; the feelings he used to give me were now returning and suffocating me. “Ah there you are Justin! sweetheart, meet my new partner Justin Bieber and This is my beautiful soon to be wife, Sequoia”

         Justin's eyes stayed glued to my face as I sent him a false smile, should I shake his hand? It would be rude if I didn't. Reluctantly, I stretched my hand out for him to shake. “Nice to meet you Justin. ” or see you again. Regretfully. The amusing glint in Justin's eye was nerve wrecking, hopefully he wouldn't make it known that we did have a past together.

          “Nice to meet you also. Nigel why didn't you tell me you had such a gorgeous fianceé? ” His deep voice rumbled, making my body shiver slightly and god, Justin was the only one who saw it. I could tell it boosted his ego because of the way his smile widened, cocky bastard I hate this man.

    “You know I have to keep her all to myself, if I told you how beautiful she was then I'd probably have to fight you off.”  They laughed. I wanted to roll my eyes and walk to the bar but I stuck through it. “Speaking of lovely  Who is this?”
        

       “This is my friend Alena, she was just on her way. ”

          Alena looked at Justin questioningly and opened her mouth to protest but the look on his face caused her to close his mouth. “Yes I was, yes I was just going now um I have things to take care of it was nice meeting you two.” she said with a tight smile then turned as Justin whispered in her ear and sent her on her way. I furrowed my eyebrows as I watched her scurry out the restaurant, before looking up at Justin who was already staring at me intensely.

        “Well, why don't we have a seat ?” Justin offered not once looking at the person he should be handling business with.

         “Yes, we have a lot to discuss.”

           I have a long night ahead of me.

—————————————————

I am soooooooooooooooo sorry y'all. Life is stressful and yeah, hopefully I still have readers. If not, eh.

  Next chapter will come in two weeks, just keep blowing the comments up with “Update” because I'll forget about this if I don't get the notifications for it.

   Andddd this chap is probably shit, I'm sorry.

I think I'm dying

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