Currently googling ways I can quickly but painlessly put an end to my existence.

Since yesterday, my mother has been calling me non stop about birthday preparations every hour or so. It was my birthday today for christsake, and I was going crazy, I couldn't sit down and finish tasks that took more than an hour.

Every. Fucking. Hour.

" Que désirez-vous," my mother would start all her questions out in such a manner, and my response would only be; I don't care with a slight shrug of my shoulders, although she couldn't see me. If she did, she'd probably scold me like a child, in which I am not. Its just the fact that she's all about respect, order, and very tight organization. To put it in fewer words, she is a control freak.

She wanted to control my birthday party because that was the only thing I gave her control over every once in a while. My mother even wanted to find me a new boyfriend when I arrived here, I let her set me up with a few guys but it got out of hand when the last guy she set me up with didn't know the meaning of no. So now, all she did have a say over was icing flavors and party venues.

"Miss smith, your mot-" Jamie started but he quickly got the message when I pressed the end button on my intercom. A satisfied smile graced my lips as I pushed my head on my desk, my head was pounding and my mother's periodic calls weren't helping. On top of that, I still had much work to do and I had to schedule my next meeting with my manager, since it was that time of the year for me to start popping in on magazines. It was good for business, besides that it felt good to be in front of the camera from time to time.

"Sequoia Amelia Smith"

Fuck.

The voice had been loud, coming from behind my office door. Before I knew it, my mother had opened the door and marched in causing me to shrink into my chair muttering one word, help. Her faded hair happened to be pulled into a tight bun, her brown skin glowing youthfully, and her green eyes that were similar to mine shined with determination. It was safe to say that I was in trouble, I just had to brace myself for it.

"Hey ma-"

"Don't you dare, 'hey mama' me. '' she snaps dramatically, causing me to close my mouth instantly. My mother walks around my desk and stares at me expectantly. "Do you know how many times I've called you? You don't answer, I could've been in a ditch dead!"

I quickly open my mouth to speak before she could cut me off, "Ma, I was busy -" but even my fast attempt couldn't match hers.

"Busy my ass! I'm your mother, you should automatically pick up. "

Not when you're hounding me about champagne choices and décor.

Instead of voicing my opinion, I did the smartest thing any child could do; nod quietly. I let her rant, and fuss at me because I couldn't bring myself to talk back to my mother. That showed disrespect, and of course I didn't want to do that intentionally. Although I was an adult, old enough to speak my mind, I chose not to. "I'm sorry mom, I really was occupied. My company snagged an opportunity with vogue and I was making sure that my photographers were doing their jobs."

My apology was as sincere as it could get, but she still hummed suspiciously and stood authoritively over my desk. She stared at me silently before breaking out into a wide grin. "Happy birthday ma Cherì." Her voice high as if she were talking to a child, god her mood changes like the wind. I decided to be absolutely thanksful that her mood changed instead of even complaining, I feel a little smile tug at my lips .

Chuckling as she dropped her authoritive façade and quickly made her way around my desk to give me a peck on my forehead. "Thank you ma," I cooed back, feeling a shift in the mood around us; less tense, more loving like it should be but unfortunately sometimes it isn't like that but I won't get into that. "And thank you for the visit, best present ever."

The first sentence I've said without sounding sarcastic, ever.

"Oh darling, even though my presence is the best gift you could ever receive; sadly it isn't it." My mother flicked her wrist dismissively, and her reply didn't even surprise me because that's how I spoke at times; wanna know where I get my arrogance and ego from? Talk to my mother for a quick thirty seconds. "I can't wait until you see what's in store tonight!"

Surprisingly, I was slightly excited for the night. Although my mother's planning had been stressful, I couldn't wait to see her preparation. Since age worked hard on it, I would make sure to enjoy the night with my friends and family. "I'm sure its extravagant Ma." I replied truthfully, everything she did was extravagant and over the top.

"it is! And all of it was your boyfriend's idea, keep that in mind later if you know what I mean."

What is sh- oh.....OH

Raising an eyebrow suggestively at me, I nearly choked on air but it came out as a strained laugh. My mother grinned knowingly, Jesus Christ this was crazy. "Ma!" I playfully cried out , she shrugged nonchalantly with the same grin on her face. Even my mother was making sexual innuendos about Nigel and I , and if that isn't weird or eye opening, I don't know what is.

She chuckled and picked up her purse from my desk "I'm sorry darling but its true, I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself." she said softly, as she walked towards my door, "Darling I have to cut this visit short, I have one final preparation for tonight and you're going to just adore it." she gushed as she moved quickly towards the door.

She single handily came in, got angry and cussed at me, wished me a happy birthday, then made comments about my sex life, within five minutes. "I can't wait, see you later ma." I called out as she walks out, before she could get far she yells I love you darling which causes almost all of my employees to glance her way. As if they weren't already accustomed to her loud mouth and mine, combined.

A few moments after my mother left my door continues to stand wide open, which annoyed me immensely. If my door was closed before you came in, it should remain closed after you leave; but obviously I couldn't tell that to my mother. With an annoyed sigh, I lifted up from my seat and straightened out my tight skirt before walking over to my door. This takes so much energy.

Just as I put my hand on the door to shut it, another one pushed the door open causing me to stumble slightly and curse. "Your hot piece ass of a boyfriend is here," Jamie barged, with a wide grin, he hadn't even noticed that he nearly knocked the life out of me. Being that Jamie is my employee, I should fire him for speaking to me like that but he was here when I first started and he works hard; aka he keeps me afloat because I can be a mess at times.

I roll my eyes as I fix my clothes again, his obsession with Nigel is present and raging wildly but I have no issue with that. Nigel on the other hand, is very uncomfortable with Jamie's flirting attempts and I don't blame him especially when the person is using cheesy pickup lines like "Are you a beaver cus' damn." or even the crudest one I've heard from Jamie's mouth, " My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?"

That one is my favorite.

"When will you get that he's mine?" I ask Jamie playfully, checking his appearance in which he dressed like a business man. The gray suit was too tight around his arms, because of his obvious fetish that involved a gym and a few sweaty good looking guys. My eyes trailing to his feet, black fucking heels that I wondered how he fit into due to his abnormally large feet. I grinned as I looked up at his face, he was scowling at me with his arms folded.

"You know what, one day he'll step over to my side and you'll be salty. Mark my words Smith. "

Jamie playfully threatens me just as Nigel walks in with flowers in his hands, his usual charming smile on his lips and loving eyes that often relaxed me just by looking into them. "where's my birthday girl , Jamie?" he asks, Jamie points before he actually turns to see me on the other side. Jamie smirks and rolls his eyes as Nigel comes over to me and pulls me into a one arm hug, I wrap my arms around his neck and mold my body into his. "Happy birthday baby."

Inhaling his scent as I kissed his thinly bearded jaw, mumbling a small thank you. Suddenly, I was growing too affectionate and Nigel noticed because as I unwrapped my arms from around his neck I trailed my hands down his chest slowly. He looked at me surprised before smiling, "Are those for me? " I question, but I knew they were.

"Yes, do you like them?"

He handed the bouquet of Green Cymbidium orchids mixed with another flower I wasn't sure of, but none the less, they were gorgeous. "I love them thank you," My reply was honest, and I inhaled the flowers' scent while Nigel's eyes lit up in appreciation.

He reached out and touched my cheek gently, "Only the best for my woman." his eyes were smoldering, and for the first time in a long time start to feel a burning sexual attraction for him. I wasn't sure why it started now, maybe I had forgotten about a certain person's hold over my desires. Maybe Nigel is what I desire now, and I'm perfectly fine with that. "I would've bought almost thirty dozen, but I didn't think all those flowers could compare to the one I hold at night."

Oh my.

I just fùcking blushed.

"Jamie would you mind finding me a vase for these? " I call out, not breaking eye contact with Nigel but I knew Jamie I was still present, and hopefully he couldn't see the embarrassing blush on my cheeks.

"But Ms. Smith you don't th-"

"Jamie don't question me, just do it." There was a quick pause before Jamie came from around Nigel's tall structure, and took the flowers from my hands. I broke eye contact with Nigel soon enough to see Jamie give me a sarcastic smile then mouthed bitch, I'll get him for that later. Jamie marched towards the door , I called to him before he could get far. "Oh and would you mind cutting my visits and calls off for an hour, make sure I'm not disturbed?"

What was I doing?

Jamie's eyebrows raise in surprise, hell, I was even surprised. I never really clear my schedule or cut off visits unless it was an emergency. But this time I'm considering my libido , and it was an emergency. "Sure thing, Ms. Smith." he says simply, not hiding the amused smirk as he walks out softly closing the door behind him. Not yet do I look at Nigel, instead, I walk over to the door and lock it, the shades to my small windows were already drawn.

"If you wanted me to yourself, you could've told me." his deep voice rumbles from behind me, I turn causing my now brown hair to fall in my face; oh god I was acting like a child. Nigel noticed too, he chuckled and took a few steps closer to me ; now towering over my small frame. "Do you want me alone, Sequoia? "

Yes, of course, what the hell.

I pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear before nodding and taking my bottom lip between my teeth. Nigel sucked in a sharp breath before moving closer to me, now we were chest to chest. I could stop the next words that fell from my lips, "Kiss me Nigel, S'il vous plaît."

Nigel had my body against the wall within seconds, his lips instantly against mine. I couldn't hold back the muffled moan that left my lips, his large hands cuffed my face as he groaned and pressed lips to mine harder. The feeling of his hard body against mine sent my body into a frenzy, I opened my mouth wanting to feel his tongue against mine. My hands instantly going to his hair as his tongue swirls in my mouth, it being a long time since I've kissed like this.

Sadly Nigel pulls away, but soon his lips are trailing down my exposed neck my body shuddering as I squirmed against the wall letting the moans flow freely from mouth. "Your skin is so soft mi amour, so delectable. " He says against my skin, I could not reply as Nigel reached behind me and gripped my ass. "God..."

I gasp as I feel his hands all over my ass, it had always been a fetish of mine to get spanked, or even gripped like he's doing to me. "Nigel-" I start to moan but a shrill ring of a cell phone sliced through the sexual tension in the room. Nigel cursed angrily before pulling away from me slowly, I looked at him from under my eye lashes attempting to calm down my beating heart.

"Don't give me that look baby, I'm sorry." he apologized, trailing a finger down my cheek before his phone rang again. He pulled away muttering curse words in French before pulling his phone out and speaking into it. I didn't think anything of it, I was disappointed at the fact that as soon as I do anything remotely sexual with my boyfriend, I'm interrupted.

Sighing as I pushed myself from the wall, Nigel hears me and shoots me an apologetic glance. I shrug and pull my short forest green cardigan from my shoulders, suddenly growing hot. It was summer time here, so wearing anything to cover up myself was pointless. I was left in a fitted white short sleeved shirt tucked into my fitted skirt, which required me to wear no bra; but I didn't care, free the nipple besides that I didn't have a particular dress code at my company my code was wear what you're comfortable in.

I walk over to my desk and sit on the edge, listening to Nigel finish up his quick conversation. He quickly hangs up his phone and shoves it back in his pocket, I raise my eyebrow awaiting the news of his sudden departure. "Do you have to leave? " I ask, I got my answer when I see him run his fingers through his hair angrily.

"Yes," he sighs in defeat, I shake by head and shrug. I couldn't do anything to make him stay, business calls and I knew that because there are times where I have to leave. "I'm sorry baby, I'll make up to you tonight. I have to go meet my biggest investor at the airport."

He's ass kissing again.

I nearly roll my eyes, Nigel kisses up to his biggest investors and it got annoying at times; sometimes he needed to act like he had a back bone around them but he doesn't. "Its fine Nigel, go." leave me on my birthday, why don't you?

"I promise I will make it up to you."

That was the last thing I heard from him as he left my office, as soon as he left I felt an unwanted wave of loneliness wash over me; damnit, I don't deserve to feel like this now.

"Wow, you made him come in ten minutes, you got that good shít? "
Jamie's voice came from my door way causing me to laugh and roll my eyes, he walked into my office and sniffed. "Doesn't smell like sex."

Oh lord.

"We didn't have sex, Jamie. " I tell him, trying not to sound disappointed or pathetic. But I couldn't help it, after almost four years of pent up sexual desires I wanted to let them out, with my boyfriend, on my birthday, on my desk, roughly. Jamie frowned and walked over to my desk, mimicking my stance.

"You're sexually frustrated huh? Awe sweetheart."

"Jamie-"

"You know, back before I became -" he leaned into me while whispering "Homosexual. I fingered a hand full of women, I can help you boss lady." he rambled on as my eyes widen in shock, I wanted him to shut up but he didn't get the message because he continued to ramble "First, you have to shave, I don't do women pub-"

"Jamie, get out before I fire you!" I gasped, but I had to laugh , why would he even- I didn't even wanna know his story but he told me. Jamie threw his hands up before scurrying out in his heels. I shook my head and laughed to myself, my employees (especially Jamie) were a hand full of messy people but at least they got the job done, correctly might I add.

Maybe that's why I loved my job.

***

Hours later, I was in front of Jade who had a tube of pink lipstick in her hands and an excited gleam in her eyes. "Sequoia, oh my god you look gorgeous. Girl, I'm jealous. " Jade shouted, I winced and laughed at her because I knew she was drunk before the party even started; I love this girl.
"Yesss, work that damn dress queen. "

I placed my hands on my hips and posed in front of my mirror, flicking my long hair over my shoulder as I took in my appearance. The dress I was wearing was black lace , the neck line dipping to my belly button and the material fitting around my body before it stopped just above my knees; "I look good as hell," I say confidently, maybe I was slightly tips also. As we were getting ready, Jade constantly handed me shot glasses , she's such a good friend.

"Right! Let's go , if you're late to your own party, your mom will surely kill me."

I make a face.

"I'm a grown woman."

Jade's face is void of any emotion as she stares at me, before she begins laughing a little too loud for my liking "Okay, whatever you say. She still dictates your life." wiping under her eyes and grabbing her clutch, I scowl but say nothing because she's actually correct. My mom began to dictate my life as soon as I moved back to France, and I just let her. "C'mon, sura is there already and she says its already a lot of people at the venue, all of which are her fault."

Because she posted everything on social media.

I took Jade's hand as she slightly stumbled in her heels, giggling. We were lucky enough to have Nigel's occasional driver pick us up, we both weren't in a good condition to drive. Since we got ready at my loft, it took us almost five minutes to leave the building; Jade was flirting with the door man, even though she has a whole fiancé.

Ryan was going to kill me, is all I thought as Jade slid his number into her hand with a giggle. I impatiently tapped my foot on the concrete as I stood on the sidewalk waiting for her. "Come on, god. " I whined, flicking my hair over my shoulders as passing bystanders either looked at me in awe or curiosity. Jade wobbled slightly as she made her way to me, rolling her eyes in disgust as she pointed to her hand that held his number. Chuckling, I shook my head as I took her hand "You shouldn't have flirted."

"I was helping you, that dude looked like he was going to fùck you against that damn door. You're welcome." she explains while flicking her hands, the driver opens the door and nods his head for us to get in. Jade struggles to get in so I take liberty of helping her, which I was supposed to do since it was part of the bestfriend terms and conditions.

"Wow, thank you. " I sarcastically say as I help her into the car, she grins and I slide in after her wanting to get out of the unbearable heat. The driver closes the door and walks hastily to the other side, I guess he knew what time we were really supposed to arrive. I glance over at Jade who was already pour two glasses of liquor that was in the car for us. I take the glass with no complaints and take small sips as I watch the scenery change, it was night time in Paris and lights made the city look beautiful.

"There is one thing I like about Nigel, he comes through with the alcoholic beverages. "

Chuckling as I pulled the glass away from my lips, "Hey, my boyfriend is good for plenty of other things." I half lied, Nigel is a great man, but at times he could be a push over, a sap. I can't stand it, but he's so good to me, I put up with it and stick with him; why leave a good man? "Leave my baby alone."

Jade waves her hand dismissively at me before pulling out her phone and typing away. I do the same, noticing a few happy birthday texts in my messages, even emails from my business partners that were wishing me a happy birthday; I felt special even though I'm sure half of them didn't give once ounce of a fùck about me, only my visuals but hey.

Soon, after twenty minutes of Jade and I drinking away, we finally arrive at our destination. Jade sequeals as the car comes to a halt and there are multiple people stand outside, entering and exiting in amazing attire. From the noises that came from Jade, I would assume she was more excited than I was for my own party. "You're over here making noises I would make during sex, are you that excited? " I teased as I watched the driver walk around to my door and open it, feeling Jade's glare, I hurried out if the car making sure to pull down my dress so I wouldn't flash anyone.

Jade comes out behind me, gripping my arm to steady herself; she was still tipsy and there was no surprise that I was too. The only difference was that I learned how to handle my liquor after countless nights in the city, Jade had been partying longer than me and she still couldn't determine her limit.

"Why didn't you stop me from opening that bottle in the car?" she questioned as I pull her steadily by my side, when she was straight, I pulled her along side me into the venue where people were dressed to perfection.There were some men there that would've made me reconsidered even being with Nigel for so long, only if I didn't like him so much. Jade muttered damn as we crossed many people, some dancing and conversing, others standing around with their noses held high and I could immediately tell those were Sura's friends.

Nearly rolling my eyes, I walked further into the venue, I immediately stop sura by the bar where she and a few others were conversing. She was acting as if this were her party, for some reason it annoyed me. Jade and I drew closer to her, she finally glanced over her shoulder to even notice we were coming her way. Sura grinned before squealing and pulling me into a hug, I chuckled slightly as I hugged her back.

"Happy birthday, god your mom did an amazing job." Sura gushed, glancing around in awe. She held an unopened bottle of whiskey in her hand, knowing her, she'd down that bottle with no hesitation. "Now that you're here, we can have some fun. I need to get drunk now. "

"I do also, but first I have to find my boyfriend. " Jade slurred, although she was already slightly drunk, her saying she needed another drink made me laugh. Obviously I wasn't going to let her walk off in her condition, what kind of person would that make me?

"How about we go find him together? I need to look for Nigel." I suggested, Nigel had texted me about meeting his business partners and he knew I dreaded it. Half of them were either, old, creepy, fat, or marries and miserable. Hell, most of them were all of the above, I didn't like meeting them because they'd hit on me right in front of Nigel.

Sura pouted and tilted her head "Fine, just meet me back over here so we can fùcking get wasted." I laughed and nodded in agreement before walking off with Jade, who kept complaining about not finding Ryan fast enough for her. Mainly because everyone I knew kept stopping me, wishing me a wonderful birthday and I appreciated it greatly though.

It seemed it had been an hour later when Ryan walked up to his girlfriend with wide eyes we were now by the dance floor, where many people were getting a little too rauchy but we're all adults here so I didn't mind one bit. He quickly says something in Jade's ear causing her to gasp and dart her eyes to mine, I furrow my eyebrows as I watch their exchange in confusion. Ryan turns to me and pulls me into a hug quickly, causing me to stumble. "Happy birthday, whatever happens tonight, enjoy yourself. Got it?" I mumur sure as he pulls away and speaks quietly to Jade.

Sure?

Ryan and Jade exchange hushed words, even if the music was loud, they somehow managed to hear each other over the music, before pulling apart , she smiles my way and slaps ryan over the head. He scowls as he rubs his head, causing me to laugh, Jade quickly grabs my hand and leads me to the bar. Of course, I follow but I still was going to be persistent about asking her what Ryan was speaking about.

"Jade-"

"Don't talk," she commands as she received some shots from the gentleman behind the bar, she hands me two while she only takes one. "You're going to need these love." I raise an eyebrow, she nods her head as if she were urging me on. I sigh and shrug before downing both the shots, jade laughs as she sees my facial expression; I can handle my alcohol but I could not get used to the taste of rum.

Soon, many of the people I know crowd around me at the bar, socializing and laughing as they drank. Sura soon makes an appearance, the bottle she had an hour ago only containing a small portion and I could tell she made a dent with no help. She came over, giggling with a piece of eye candy on her arm, "Hi Sequoia! This is James - No Jason - No! Its Tyler! " She laughed, causing the guy on her shoulder to chuckle deeply also. "I came over here to tell you that your boyfriend is looking for you, he thinks you're drunk but you look perfectly fine to me!"

I roll my eyes, I was slightly drunk, I think? I wasn't sure but of course I wouldn't know, I stood up carefully and half yelled in Jade's direction. "Hey, I'm going to- find Nigel and fuck him-" I tell her simply, she laughs and I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively. "No, I'm kidding. I have to use the restroom, be back babe, stay wet for me."

Not giving Jade time to reply, I turned and slid through the crowds of people, either dancing or standing around. A few times I had to dodge the hands of a few friendly men, the ones who got too touchy; no means no. I instantly regret coming to the restroom alone when I walked down one of the hallways that led to the bathroom, I hear a voice as I turn the corner sharply. The man's back is to me but he was tall with broad shoulders in a tight shirt, his arms flexing while he hissed at whoever he was speaking to.

"Excuse me, may I get around you?" I ask politely, since he was blocking the doorway, all I saw was his bleached blond hair as he continued to fuss. He didn't budge one bit. "Hey, sir you're in my way."

I have to potty, you prick.

Ugh I said potty like a four year old.

"Look lady, you're going to have to wait." The guy grumbled as he stuffed his phone in his pocket, my eyes widened as I glanced at the sleeves of tattoos on his arms; those are familiar. He slowly turned around, and it was only then I recognized the person; he opened his mouth to say something more grim but his expression suddenly changed and a look of recognization crossed his face. My mouth fell open as his eyes traced over my silhouette, god was it him?

The alcohol in my system was causing me to hallucinate. I concluded as I blinded rapidly, his figure still didn't disappear. My senses were true, and his body was really here, but why?

With soft eyes he uttered the name he called me when we once lived happy and I hated it.

"Doll?"

----

Yikes, I am sorryyyyyyy for not updating cosistantly but I'm still in school and I don't get out until the end of June. Womp womp.

Y'all I can't wait for this story to kick the hell off, because their encounters will be comedic.

Thank you all for waiting, I tried to make this a little bit longer and detailed, did I succeed?

And one more thing, people in my school know my Hannah Montana life so I have now decided to take of that damn blonde wig, okay? This is my account, and I write smut

Alright I'm done jsksksk

Love you guys,

Vote

And

Commenttttt