Two Years Ago

Harry pulled his car up on the curb in front of Francesca's house and stumbled out. People grooming their lawns across the street stopped and tsked at the sight of him, obviously drunk in the middle of the afternoon, staggering up the treelined walkway to the huge house Cecilia's best friend lived in.

He rapped on the door. Loudly, then his alcohol flooded mind realized there was a doorbell, so he rang it. Repeatedly. Finally the door swung open and a very annoyed looking woman in jeans and a black shirt opened the door.

"Yes Mr.Styles?" she said with an exasperated and completely disapproving look on her face. Harry grinned at her. "Why are you here....again?"

"Wheres Kick?" he asked, pushing past the maid. She rolled her eyes and shut the door behind him. "KICK!"

He yelled at the top of his lungs, his voice loudly echoed through the house with its impossibly high ceilings.

"She's studying!"

"Its summertime." He slurred at the maid, who breathed a heavy sigh. "Why don't you like me, maid?"

He asked, his eyes half closed and bloodshot red, his smile oddly sad somehow.

"I don't dislike you. I feel bad for you."

He laughed, stumbling again as he doubled over, and brushing her helpful hand away as he stood up and stretched out his arms.

"I'm Harry Styles! Son of Harrison Styles, Billionaire Music Mogul. What's there to feel bad about? I have everything I could ever want."

"You're obviously miserable."

"What do you know?"

"You haven't been the same since you broke up with Cecilia." His face contorted into a deep scowl at the mention of her name. In his drunken state it was lost on him that even a relative stranger could see the connection he and Cecilia had shared. "She's been different too."

Harry's scowl turned into a smirk and he shrugged.

"Has she? Well I could give a fuck about her, she's a bitch, and nothing more than an unhappy memory to me. Tell her that for me the next time you see. I would tell her myself but she's avoiding me. Childish bitch."

Francesca descended the staircase and looked at harry, her eyes already cloudy with lust.

"We'll be upstairs Marie. Don't bother us."

She took his hand and led him up the stairs. He was so drunk he stumbled multiple times, but Francesca patiently led him up to her room anyway.

"Where's Cilly?"

He asked, unable to stop himself as she pushed him down on her bed and straddled his lap. Her lips kissed his neck, he barely felt it at all.

"She's in the city with Dirty Diane."

Francesca laughed against Harry's skin; he flinched and rolled his eyes.

"Don't call her that."

"Sorry Haz."

He pushed her away and looked in her eyes, holding her at arm's length. He wasn't as drunk as he'd been the night of Kendall's party, he could still handle and control himself to a certain degree. Francesca liked him much better this way.

"If you call me that again I swear to god I'll leave and never come back."

"Okay! I'm sorry. I won't." He let her push him back on the bed and looked up at her with a disinterested gaze as she pulled her dress up over her head. "I don't want you to go."

He ignored her words and pushed her off of his lap, she laid on the bed on her stomach and pushed herself up on her hands and knees as Harry stood on the floor at the edge of the bed and unbuckled his pants. He was too drunk to be ashamed of being there, or to care if Francesca knew he only wanted her this way because it made it easier to pretend she was his Cecilia.

There was, however, no amount of drink that could make him forget that she wasn't.

"Just don't talk at all, Kick."

Now

She turns around in the water to face me and rests on her knees, straddling my lap. The bubbles cover her body as she sits on my lap and I shift in the water, trying to keep her from getting poked. She grins shyly at me and reaches under the water, stroking me gently. I moan at her touch and she kisses me softly.

"You are so cute when you're nervous."

"Cilly...stop."

"Why?"

"I know it probably seems like it, but I didn't bring you here for that."

"I know that!" She kisses me again, and speaks into my mouth. "But I cant keep my hands off of you...and the good news is I'm not even drunk!"

She giggles at her own joke and I hesitate as she continues to kiss me.

Theres no way in hell I can let her do this without telling her.

"Cil, you have to listen to me."

"Harry! What the hell?" I push her back and stand up, hurrying out of the tub, dripping water all over the floor and sliding a little across the tiles. I don't care. I had to get out of there. It suddenly dawned on me that Cecilia was ready in that moment to give me everything, and I knew in that moment that I would have taken it, gladly. "What is wrong with you?"

She asks, looking embarrassed as she readjusts herself in the tub. I wrap a towel around myself and run a hand through my hair.

"I just can't do that until we talk a little bit..."

She sighs and shakes her head slowly, looking practically everywhere else in the room but at me. I've ruined our get away already.

Might as well go all the way.

"Talk about what Harry? How I've been so difficult and confused you so much that you don't even want me anymore?"

I let my mouth hang open in shock and shake my own head.

"No. Cilly Baby that's impossible." I quickly open and close my towel with a smirk on my face, the blush and giggle on hers lets me know she saw me. Hard and erect, just for her. "That would not happen if I didn't want you. Trust me."

She hugs her knees to her chest and rests her chin on them. I bite my lip and hang my head.

"So why don't you come back in here..."

"Because, I want to TALK to you. Its important."

"What the fuck could be that important Haz?" She shrugs her shoulders. "I'm trying to...you know what I'm trying to do...with you....Finally!"

"Well, this is more important than that believe it or not."

I cannot believe the words coming out of my own mouth. She clearly can't either.

"Fine. I'll be out in a minute, just let me dry off." I grab one of the luxe cashmere bathrobes off the shelf and head out of the bathroom. I dry off, pull on the robe and sit on the bed. I hold my face in my hands and try to know what the hell I'm going to say. The bathroom door opens and I slowly lift my head. She comes out in a robe of her own and carrying a bottle of lotion. She is clearly upset and confused about what happened, but she's going on as though nothing is wrong. "You really did think of everything, Haz; I can't believe you remembered my lotion and perfume and stuff."

"I'm a good boyfriend."

"The best."

"So I am your boyfriend?"

"For now." She studies my face as I look over at her. Her eyes widen and her hands rest gently on my cheeks. "What is it Harry? And why are you so afraid to say it?"

"I just...I just need you to know."

"Why?"

"Because I don't lie to you."

She says that all the time and as far as she knows its true. But as usual its what she doesn't know that's the thing.

"Have you been lying to me about something?"

She looks confused, I shake my head.

"Its just something that happened that you don't know about."

"While you were gone...Because I don't care. And I don't want to know about any of that'"

"Cilly..."

"No. Is it something that happened since I told you I love you?" She looks into my eyes, I shake my head no, she smiles in relief. "Then I don't need to know about it."

"But Cilly-"

"Haz. It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, I don't care." She kisses me softly, I pull away. "I can see that it's bothering you. Just forget it. I don't want to know."

"But Cilly-"

"I don't care, Haz. It doesn't matter."

"But-"

"Ssshh."

She lays back on the bed and pulls me back with her. I hover over, shes pinned under me, but still somehow she's in complete control.

"I have to tell you, Cilly."

"Isn't this about me, and everything I love?" I furrow my brow in confusion and shake my head yes. "So you want to ruin everything I love with the memory of you telling me some devastating secret?"

She smirks up at me. I close my eyes and shake my head.

"You have to know..."

"Harry, you have tried to tell me. No matter what happens; you tried to tell me and I wouldn't let you. Let it go now. Whatever happens because of this will be my fault, not yours."

Cilly the appeaser, Cilly the peacemaker, Cilly who'll say anything to get her damn way. I sigh in defeat. She grins up at me.

"Its just... I love you. I love you more than anyone or anything else."

"That's not a secret." She laughs at her own joke, I roll my eyes. A weight should be lifted off my shoulders at her words, instead it feels heavier. "I don't want to hear anything else about this whatever the hell it is...okay?"

I shake my head slowly. She runs her fingers through my hair.

"I don't think I can promise you that."

"Well try. I love you."

"I love you too."