Everything is falling down

We're suffering, helpless thoughts and

Out we sing, prayers go to the sky - 5SOS; Gotta Get Out

***

Saturday came a little too fast for my liking. I knew that it was undeniable and that eventually I would have to face my mother again, but that did not mean that I was ready for it. After a week full of therapy sessions in which I constantly talked about her lie and what it had done to me I felt a little better. Harry had helped me incredibly well this week as well, he was with me almost ever minute of the day to make sure that I was okay. The raven-haired boy had pushed his bed against mine so that we could have one big bed for the two of us. It did not really matter though, since we always were lying together in one of our beds, as closely together as we could.

'I saw your mother arriving a few minutes ago,' a voice distracted me from my own thoughts. Cecilia was standing in front of me with a worried look in her eyes. 'Do you think that you are ready to face her?'

'No,' I said, closing my eyes as I felt how my body tensed up, something that happened more often when I was nervous. 'But I know that I have to face her and if I do not do it right now I never will.'

'You are very brave,' she said before pulling me in a unexpected hug. Her warm and strong but yet soft arms reminded me of my mother's arms. I thankfully wrapped my arms a little awkwardly around her shoulder, but I still felt the love and support she was trying to give me. 'Thank you,' I slowly said, a hug was something I genuinely needed. Especially at that moment.

'You are very welcome my boy,' the older women spoke, softly stroking through my hair before breaking our hug carefully. 'If you ever feel like you cannot handle it anymore, just remember that I will be there as well. When you think that you have had enough please let me know, then I will get you out of there immediately.'

I thanked her again, questioning myself how I ever got to be this lucky. There were people that actually cared about me, that wanted me to be fine. People like Cecilia, Lucia and especially Harry made the world a better place. Of course, this world was still filled with thousands of people who only could think about themselves. But those who did not made it better by just being themselves. They made me feel like there might was something to live for.

'Then I will go to see her,' I said, taking a deep breath. 'You can do it, my boy,' she said before winking at me and leaving the room. I slowly followed her until we stood in front of the door that led me to her; to my beloved mother that had lied to me. I knew that forgiveness was not easy, but neither was a never ending anger towards someone. I really did not want to be one of those people who would be angry at someone for the rest of their lives, simply because of one lie or mistake. Everybody makes mistakes, that is just the way things are. No matter how hard you try not to; there will always be something that you mess up.

My eyes found Cecilia's eyes one last time before I took a deep breath and entered the room. Everybody looked up as I slowly entered to room. Ginny, her brother, their mother and Hermione were all sitting at Harry's table, but as soon as I came in he only seemed to have eyes for me. His beautiful green eyes winked at me, causing me to feel a little more confident.

'Draco,' my mother said with some sort of desperation lying in her voice. 'My boy, please come here,' she said as she pulled me into a hug. Firstly, I felt the urge to push her away, but knowing that I would regret that I hugged her back. 'I missed you, my beautiful son, I really did,' my mother whispered and by the way she spoke I could tell that tears were escaping her eyes. We broke apart and sat down, knowing that now our conversation would begin made me feel nervous.

'O dear,' she suddenly spoke with shock in her voice. 'What has happened to your hands?'

My eyes were drown back to the wounds on my knuckled. Over the course of a week they had started to heal, but nothing healed that fast. Not even these wounds. They would stay on my body for a little longer to remind me of my own craziness, to remind me of my the impact that my demons could have on my skin.

'Oh that,' I said, simply shrugging. 'It was a small accident, nothing to worry about.'

Sorrow filled her eyes, causing me to feel guilty again. 'It is not nothing, sweetie. I know that you have done this to yourself after you found out about my lie.'

I knew that she was just making a guess, and since I did not want her to feel even more guilt then she already did I lied to her. 'It is nothing mother, I assure you that it did not happen after that but a few days later. But please do not worry, you had nothing to do with it and I have been talking about the accident with dr. Dolan for the entire week so I really do get the help that I need.'

She smiled a little proudly at me, probably because she thought that I was really getting better. Something that might have been true.

'I want to tell you why I lied to you, in the hope that you might understand it, or at least can leave it behind you. Are you ready for that?' the women that had raised me asked. Steel blue met sparkly green and because I knew Harry was there I agreed. It did not matter that he was sitting a little further away from me then he normally did, him being there give me the confidence to face anything. No matter what it was.

'Alright,' she said, folding her hands together nervously. Something she always did when she felt nervous. 'When I came in and saw you that day I got nervous. I saw something different in your eyes, a good kind of difference. Realising that you had made a lot of progress by yourself without my help made me feel a little useless maybe. It also made me feel weak since you are able to change your life for the better and I am not. I know that my relationship with Lucius is wrong in so many ways, I know that we do not love each other the way we used to do anymore and I know that he had been treating me wrongly for the past few years. I want to leave him more then anything else, but simply cannot seem to find the strength to do so. I want to be happy, I want to work on that the way you do. So that might be why I lied to you, to make you proud. To make sure you knew that you were not the only one working on himself.'

'Mother,' I said, grabbing her hands as I saw how several tears escaped her eyes and slowly glided down her cheeks. 'I am proud of you,' I spoke truly. 'You do not have to act any differently but the way you truly are when you are with me. Of course I want you to leave that horrible men, but only if you are ready for it. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to make a step that big and leave him, I am not that stupid. You have been together for so long, but it is a toxic and abusive relationship. I am just happy that you indeed realise this. So now all you have to do is find someone that is able to help you and find the courage to leave him.'

'But what if I regret it?' she slowly asked, wiping away the tears that were still escaping her eyes. 'What exactly are you going to miss about him? The way his hands slap you? The way his words cut right through your soul?'

'You are right,' she mumbled, looking at me with fear in her eyes. 'I have to find someone that can help me with all of this, someone that is able to help me get rid of that men so that I never have to see him again.'

'That is what I wanted to hear,' I spoke proudly, hearing how the fire slowly crept into her voice again. 'I know you can do it mother, you are so strong and independent. You can do anything you set your mind to, please remember that.'

A smile found his way to her face, and we hugged again. And again.

Eventually we were the only ones left in the "family-room", all the others had left minutes ago. I knew that if I wanted to tell her about the thing that I felt for the other boy this was my chance. No one could her us, no one could spy on us.

'Mother,' I said, suddenly sounding a lot more serious then before. 'There is something I need to tell you, and I really hope that you will not be angry or disappointed with me.'

I knew that my mother was a loving and accepting women, but I was not sure if she would accept the love I felt towards Harry. Our former enemy and a boy.

'You know that you can tell me absolutely everything, right my boy?' she asked, grabbing my hands to show me that she really supported me. 'Alright,' I said as I felt my hand palms getting sweaty. My throat felt the way it does when someone chokes you, making it hard for me to breath.

'I fell in love,' I begun, keeping it as gender-neutral as I could. 'And this person likes me too. We really like each other and I am considering starting a relationship with this person. I have never felt this way about someone before, mother. I feel like I can walk on the clouds.'

'Honey, that is absolutely great!' she chuckled, looking genuinely happy for me. 'Who is it? Is it the girl that was sitting in the corner of the kitchen or the one in the children playground?'

'Neither of them,' I said, mentally preparing myself for what I was going to say next. Although, I knew I was never going to be mentally prepared enough to tell her about my feelings for a boy. 'It was the boy sitting at the table on our left.'

This seemed to caught her off her guard a little, but that was just for a split second.

'Honey,' she happily said. 'I am so happy for you!'

'So you are not angry or anything like that?' I carefully asked, not being sure if she really was okay with it. 'Of course I am not angry, why would I be? Of course, you surprised me a little, but that is not weird looking at your history. I just want you to know that I am happy for you, for the both of you.'

I felt like a huge weighted had been taking off my shoulders by hearing her comforting and accepting words.

'You are still my amazing and beautiful son and I could not be happier,' she said, pulling me into a close hug. 'I love you, my boy.'

'I love you too mom,' I spoke, feeling how tears of relieve left my eyes. 'More then you could possibly know.'