Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me? - Halsey; Gasoline

***

For the second time that day I wanted to cry. Not because I was sad though. This time I felt the tears trying to escape my eyes because of embarrassment.

I knew it would have to happen, I knew the day would come that I could not avoid it any longer. At least but not least there was only one room with several showers for the boys. And seen the fact that Harry and I were the only boys that had to shower in there I could no longer avoid it.

We had to take a shower while the other person was in the same room as well. Naked.

Some part of me kept telling me that I should not feel embarrassed. We were both boys, it is not like he came from another planet. However, being naked in front of somebody else was a thing I had never liked. I hated it. It made me feel extremely awkward. There were so many things to reconsider. For example, do you turn away so that your back is facing the other? Do you talk to each other while showering? Do you look down, for just a second, or do you keep your eyes on the ceiling the entire time?

I knew I was being overdramatic. It was one of my stupid talents to make small things look enormous, even though I was the only person feeling that way.

But this was Harry, Harry Potter. The boy I had bullied for years. The boy that was my complete opposite, the boy that defeated Lord Voldemort while I stood right behind him.

So maybe, just maybe, I was not overreacting this time.

By the time I had made my way to the bathroom Harry had already claimed one of the showers in the back of the room. Luckily he had turned the water so hot that steam filled up the room.

I quickly undressed and stepped underneath one of the showers on the other side of the room, turning the water as hot as possible. My heart started beating a little faster. Anxiety flowed through my bloodstream, causing me to feel very nervous.

'The water is rather cold,' Harry all of a sudden said after I had stepped underneath the water. His green eyes were closed as he let the water run over his body.

Maybe, just maybe, I had looked down. Just maybe of course.

'Yeah, it is,' I said eventually, after realising that it was rude to not respond. A short silence fell, one that was, to my surprise, broken by me. 'I am sorry for asking, but how did you end up here? I mean, who send you here?'

I thought that he might could get violent, or that he would snap at me. Instead of reacting angrily, he accepted were the conversation was going and answered honestly. 'Ginny made me go,' he spoke, 'she could not handle me anymore, I guess. Not that I can really blame her.'

'Ginny is that Weasley girl, right? Your girlfriend I suppose?'

'Yeah, that is my girl,' he said, finally opening up his eyes so I could see them. 'Before I came her our relationship became, how do I say this correctly, complicated.'

'I see,' I said, trying to sound supportive. 'Are you still, you know, together?'

'Sort of, I guess,' he replied. By the tone in his voice I could tell he really was not sure. 'She came last week to visit me, but it did not feel right. Not like it used to,' he mumbled, not really knowing how to express his feelings. 'It really is not fair of me, she deserves better you know. Someone who is not like me.'

'Crazy you mean? Well I heard that crazy is the new hot, so you might be mistaken.'

He laughed, I got goosebumps all over my body. His laugh was so fucking precious. It made me shiver, it made me want to hear it more; a lot more.

But then again; it did not. Or it should not. I should not care about him laughing or crying. I should not care about him at all.

'You are actually quite funny, did you know that?' Harry complimented me, something that gave me once more goosebumps all over my body. 'How did I not know that?'

For a moment I closed my eyes; thinking how to react to that. The warm water felt so good on my back, my tensed muscles relaxed under its touch. A satisfied sigh left my lips. I wondered why I had been so stressed about this situation. It was not that bad at all, or awkward. I opened up my eyes again and saw Harrys eyes focused on me. When he noticed that I had opened my eyes he directly looked away, making both of us blush. I could not help but secretly look at the boy on the other side of the room. His hands were in his hair, washing them with some cheap shampoo that we were given here. He looked so peaceful, so precious.

'Because we hated each other,' I spoke after a few minutes. Green met steel cold blue once again, but this time none of us blushed like some stupid schoolgirls. 'That is why you did not know how funny I am, that is why I did not know how caring and kind you actually are.'

'You think that I am caring and kind?' Harry asked, which made me blush, again. 'Yeah, I mean, you have helped me twice already and-'

'And I have been a total snob to you,' he finished my sentence on his own way. The wrong way I must say. 'Yeah, maybe. But I am not the biggest sweetheart either,' I reacted simply. 'That is very true,' was Harrys reaction. The hot steam that had been circulating his body came to a halt when he pushed down against the knob, turning the shower off. My eyes were still focused on him when he did that so unwillingly I saw some parts of his body I did not want to see. My body reacted on this with a deep-red blush creeping upon my face. He walked towards me, something that did not help. He stopped, standing right in front of me. I could feel his breath on my face, I could feel the warmt of his naked body. My heart started racing extremely fast, but it was nothing compared to how I normally felt when my heartbeat would race.

'Thank you for the compliment,' he whispered before taking a towel and leaving. My heart was still beating incredibly fast.

That did certainly not go the way I thought it would go.