Sometimes the worst place you can be in is your own head - unknown

***

It was my third day, time seemed to slip right threw my fingers. Time could be the one thing no one could every control, you could not buy it, no matter how rich you were. Sometimes I wished I could turn back the time, but of course that was illegal.

'Good morning everyone,' dr. Dolan said. No one reacted, no one wished her a good morning as well. She did not even seem to care anymore, she had found a way to protect herself from all the things we could possibly say or do. 'Today we are going to do a group project, how are you feeling about that?'

I heard Harry grumble softly. We felt the same way about a group assignment. Group therapy was one of my least favourite things, group assignments during group therapy were even worse.

Once again I was longing for my warm, soft and comfortable bed.

'I have made the following groups: Harry and Serena, Lydia and Honey and Draco and Lucia. The assignment is rather easy today: I want you to discuss what you would like to change about yourself and then I want the other to give you a compliment and something you can change about your behaviour. This assignment is to learn how to talk in front of a group. Are there any questions?'

No one had a question. Her explanation was very clear. I took a seat next to Lucia, one of the girls who still had not spoken to me at all.

'So,' I started. Her eyes were focused on her hands, I was not even sure if she could even hear me. 'Do you want to start?'

'I wish I was stronger,' she whispered softly. 'Like one of those characters in a movie. I wish I could be a hero, a real one. One that saves people, one that makes them happy instead of scaring them.'

'That is a really nice wish,' I responded, not even knowing if she was following the assignment. But I did not really care. To be honest, the girl in front of me scared me. She did not speak, but when she did she was angry. Maybe she had some anger issues? Or a lot of anger issues.

'The compliment I would like to give you is that you spoke very clearly,' I said, hoping that she would not all of a sudden explode. 'And the thing you could maybe work on is your body posture,' I knew I was on thin ice. 'If you sit with your arms crossed over each other like that and with your eyes looking to the ground you look, uhm, unreachable. I really do not want to insult you, it is simply what I think.'

'So I should look at you?' she asked, anger building up inside of her. 'Do you want me to look at you?' she asked again. This time her voice made me shiver in fear. Her eyes found mine and for the first time I saw the gigantic scar running from the left side of her jaw to her right eyebrow. But instead of saying anything about a shaky breath escaped from my lips. 'You are beautiful,' I breathed, 'you are so beautiful.'

Something changed in her. Lucia did not attack me the way I originally thought she was going to. A red colour found its way to her cheeks. She blushed.

'No,' she whispered. 'I am not.'

'Please look at me again,' I begged her. The girl in front of me had obviously been hurt too many times, but no more. She deserved to know that she was worth it. She deserved to know how precious she was.

Slowly she turned her face to me again. A tear escaped from her eyes. 'Who did that to you?' I wondered. I touched the soft skin of her face as gentle as I possible could. 'Who?'

'My b-boyfriend,' she whispered, her voice broke and more tears escaped her eyes. 'H-He wanted to k-kill me.'

After Lucia had said that she broke out in tears. I carefully took her in my arms, not sure what else to do. I felt her hot tears falling on my shoulders as she accepted my grip.

'H-He tried to f-fucking kill m-me,' she stuttered between her cries. 'I h-hate him so m-much.'

'It is okay,' I just said, even though it really was not. It made me feel ashamed about being a men knowing that there were so much men who hurt women. Who raped them, who treated them like dolls. 'Your safe now.'

It was only then that I realised all eyes were on me. Everybody had stopped talking and looked at us with a shocked expression on their faces. None of that mattered to me, the only thing I could focus on were the eyes from the boy who lived, who looked at me with a kind expression. When he caught me staring he smiled at me before turning back to Lydia.

'I will take it over from here, okay?' dr. Dolan asked. I honestly did not want to let go of the fragile girl in my arms just yet, knowing that she had needed this. An sincere hug from someone that did not want anything from her. 'Yeah,' I mumbled before taking her arms of my middle. 'I really liked that hug,' I softly whispered into her ear. 'And if you did too I hope you remember where you can get them.'

'I will not forget that,' she whispered before standing. Dr. Dolan grabbed her arm and led her gently out of the room. A sigh escaped my lips. Just a minute ago I had felt calm, peacefully even. But now the young girl was gone I felt angers boiling up inside of me. I stood up and walked as fast as I possibly could out of the room.

I never had been that relieved to go back to that stupid little bedroom that I had to share with Harry Potter. My body fell on the hard mattress as tears escaped my eyes. Physically I felt like shit, mentally I felt even worse. The urge to express my anger and to hurt myself was building up inside of me. And before I could stop myself my fist had punched a hole in the wall.