[ 21 ] 2014

-

"I can't blame you for things that happened after I died. While I was alive you always respected my relationship with her, and you respected me as your friend. You were like a brother to me."

-

After saying goodbye to Harley at the hospital, Ashton found himself in a dark hallway. On each side were doors, as far as the eye could see in the dimly lit space. The only other sound was the ticking of a timer on the top side above all the doors. 

04:59:59.

Ashton didn't know what to do. This was the afterlife and he had to pick one door from the dozens that were there. It was like a game of chance and he had to pick the correct one. But he thought as though it was all sealed in fate. It had already been predetermined which door he would be choosing. He just didn't know it yet. He took one step, and then another, and he found that most doors had symbols on them. One with a fire symbol, one a water, one wind, one earth. As he continued, he saw a door with a cross, like the catholics believed in.

His parents had been Catholics when they were alive and Ashton attended church a few times, but he essentially gave up on that idea once he was brutally murdered by his best friend. He thought God had abandoned him. What kind of higher power could allow the death of so many innocent people? His mother always explained to him and his siblings as kids that God had given everyone free will, and some people just chose to be bad.

As the clock continued counting down, he heard footsteps coming from the other end of the hallway. He looked up and suddenly he was met with a blinding white light. Like people always talked about, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. The light slowly got closer and as his eyes began to adjust, he was met with both confusion and a bit of relief when he saw a familiar face. It was Anne-Sophie, one of the last people he had seen that night before he passed away. She seemed a few years older than he was, and he had learned from Claire that she had been murdered when she was around twenty three years old. She was dressed in all white, a flowing white dress, blonde hair cascading past her shoulders, and she was glowing like an angel.

"What are you doing here, Annie?" He asked her, finding that his voice echoed and bounced off the walls of that dark hallway. 

A smile formed on her lips. "I wasn't sure if you'd remember me."

Out of sheer instinct, he grabbed her and pulled her in for a hug. He had always liked Anne-Sophie. She was such a kind person, and she had always been good to him. "Of course I remember you." He assured her. It had been over fifty years since he was murdered. But all of his memories from when he was alive were still fresh in his mind.

As they pulled away, a small smile formed on her lips. It held a bit of sadness to it. "I know you've struggled all alone for fifty years. That's why He wanted me to come out and guide you home." She explained, and he knew that by He, she was most likely referring to God. Taking his hand in hers, she started pulling him further into the hallway, towards one of the doors in the back. "Your family is waiting there too. They wanted to come, but God said someone more composed should be the one to guide you. You'll be seeing them shortly. They've really missed you."

"I've missed them too." Ashton nodded as he followed her.

With only about a minute left on the timer, Anne-Sophie stopped at one specific door and gestured for him to open it. Ashton grabbed the door knob a bit hesitantly and opened the door slowly. Suddenly, all the darkness in the hallway around him disappeared and he stepped inside, letting the door close behind them. 

That was his very own version of heaven, what the higher power thought he deserved after all those years of being forgotten on earth. He was back in his neighborhood, his house was standing tall and beautiful as he remembered it when he was still alive. Standing outside were his parents, his brother Harry, and his sister Lauren. Just as he remembered them fifty years ago. They all had tears in their eyes as Ashton ran towards them and fell to his knees, pulling them into his arms. Anne-Sophie stood by as she saw him sobbing into their embrace. "I've been waiting fifty years for this moment." He said to them.

His father smiled down at him. "Welcome home, son."

When Ashton got back on his feet, he heard someone clearing their throat and he turned around to see who was there. It was Bobby Vega, looking a bit older than Ashton remembered. When Ashton passed away, Bobby had been seventeen, almost eighteen. Now it seemed like Bobby was in his early to mid twenties. But Ashton remembered hearing somewhere that Bobby had been around twenty five when he died. He was still young, but now he was older than Ashton, when originally it had been the other way around. 

The two didn't say anything as they pulled each other in for a hug. Bobby patted Ashton's back a bit roughly. But he was just so happy to see him that he was letting his emotions get the best of him. "Ash, its been too long, mate." He said, and Ashton couldn't help but detect a slight shakiness in his voice.

Ashton smiled. "Too long, Bobby. So long that you're actually older than I am now."

Both boys chuckled at the comment. Nodding in agreement, Bobby said. "That's how it goes sometimes. You stayed nineteen. I lived to be twenty five." Coughing nervously, and scratching the back of his head in embarrassment, Bobby thought he would come clean and get some truths out of the way. "Before anything else though, I just want you to know that six years after you passed away Claire and I started dating. I was so in love with her, she really had a way of making guys trip over themselves for her. I was blinded and stupid, and I was a bad friend to you. We even had a son together."

Ashton gave him a reassuring shake of his head and a friendly smile. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "I can't blame you for things that happened after I died. While I was alive you always respected my relationship with her, and you respected me as your friend. You were like a brother to me."

"I always felt that way too." Bobby agreed.

"Come in." Ashton's mother gestured to everyone who was standing outside. At the moment it was Ashton's family, Anne-Sophie, and Bobby. "We organized a small welcoming party for our beloved son."

As they walked into the house together side by side, Ashton asked his friend a genuine question. "So what is there to do for fun around here?"

Bobby replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "We kinds just sit around, watching our descendants' lives on the tele and criticize some of their poor decisions."

-

When Calum woke up next, he heard the beeping of a heart monitor and he figured he was in the hospital. There were all sorts of needles and machines hooked up to him and he had yet to realize that he had been in a critical condition. As the events of the previous couple of days sank in for him, he remembered how tired he had felt when the poison was going into his blood stream. He knew he had been on the brink of death. When the paramedics had brought him and Ashton to the hospital, he barely even had a pulse. Now he was feeling much better, but he couldn't help but feel like something was off. Something was different about him. 

As he looked around the room, he saw a sleeping Harley Quinn on the couch at the end of the room. He smiled to himself at the sight of her. She looked so beautiful and peaceful sleeping. "Harley..." He called to her softly, his voice scratchy and low. He obviously hadn't used it in days, since he had been unconscious.

But she managed to hear him and her blue eyes fluttered open slowly. There was worry etched onto her face as she saw him awake. The doctors had told her that she had to be very careful around him for the time being. It was a basic principle of psychology that he would first take the situation badly, taking his new disability into denial. Then would come the anger and he would still try to do everything himself. Lastly would come resignation. But that would be a bit long into his recovery. 

He could not figure out why she looked so worried for him. He felt fine, everything was fine. They had gone back in time and stopped Ashton from suffering a horrible death. It wasn't until he saw a glass of water on the night stand to his right and he tried to reach for it that he realized things were definitely not right. Something was different about him and he was just not seeing it. His heart sank into his chest as he found that his arm was bandaged up, but he was missing his hand, and a part of his arm, halfway up to his elbow. There were bandages wrapped around his arm and at the end of the now stump was a bit of crimson tinge. He had assumed that he could not feel his fingers because of the poison. Maybe the doctors had given him an anesthetic so he wouldn't feel anything. But he couldn't help but feel tears stinging his eyes as it dawned on him that he had gotten part of his arm amputated.

"Harley...what happened to me?" He asked her, his voice shaking, which was out of character for him. He was always so cool, composed, and confident. It was unlike Calum Hood to show any fear. But his mind was already thinking about the possibilities.

She started to explain slowly and carefully. She wanted to think about things and make sure she didn't say anything that would trigger him any further. "The doctors had to do it in order to save your life. The poison was going to reach your heart. It was the only way." Her eyes brimmed with tears, but she kept her voice steady no matter what. 

Harley slowly made her way over to him and sat by his side on the bed. She then grabbed his left hand and took it in hers to offer some support. 

"Arthur already has one of his contacts working on a mechanical hand for you. Everything will be fine. It'll feel the same." She assured him, forcing a small smile onto her face. 

But there were tears falling down his face no matter how hard he tried to hold them back. It wasn't about losing his arm that he had been worried about. What he worried about was that Harley would see him as less than a man because he was missing a part of his body. He wouldn't be able to hold hands with her for a while, at least not with his right. And then once he'd have the mechanical hand he would have to learn to use it, so as not to hurt her if he ever wanted to caress her face or something. Nothing would be the same for him from there on out. 

And he saw the pity in her eyes, something he knew he never wanted to receive from her. She felt bad for him. But she felt bad because she felt guilty for his situation. If she hadn't gone back in time to try to help Ashton, none of that would have happened. Ashton would still be there, as a ghost, but he'd still be there. While Calum wouldn't have had to sacrifice himself like that for her sake.

But Calum had taken it that way. That she felt pity for him because he was less of a man now. A part of him would be part machine. She would probably soon realize that she didn't want to date someone like him anymore, someone with a handicap. And his heart darkened slightly at the negative thoughts that coursed through his mind. He wanted nothing to do with her, or with anyone, if she was going to be like that. He didn't want any pity.

"I don't need your pity." He told her, turning his head away from her. "Please go away. I'd like to be alone."

"Calum--" She started.

But he cut her off. "Please. Please go away."

A strangled sob escaped Harley's lips, and she placed a hand over her mouth to block the sound. But she nodded her head in understanding and she left her place by his bedside, walking towards the door to his hospital room. It was difficult for him at the moment to accept what happened. He had gotten a part of his body amputated, and it was lost forever. But she knew once he had time to think things over, he would want to talk to her. He would understand that she was trying to help, and that she was there for him. 

-

so guys, i decided it was really ashton's time to go. i know this book is supposed to be an ashton irwin fanfic. but he will still be mentioned in the future. i just thought his course in this story had come to fruition. it was time to see him go.

there's thirty more chapters, so i have one more plot point to go over. so please stay tuned for that.

i hope you're all liking this story. thank you loads for reading and supporting. have a wonderful day! i'll try to update again later. but i wanted to post this quick, since i was texting my boy and he decide to take a little nap. but he already woke up so ima text him back now.

-clary