Whatever it takes
Imagine Dragons

(I find this chapter a bit boring, I'm really sorry. I hope you still like it and that it gets better at the middle or ending? Let me know and I'm sorry!)

Matthew Gray

Do you remember the first day of school again?

Do you remember how it felt like to stand there in the middle of the hallway within the crowd yet you felt so alone?

You were so nervous that your sweaty hands were shaking, your stammering heart almost jumped out of your chest and you were pretty much on edge all of the time.

That's how I had been feeling right now.

It's been a few weeks ago since I have gotten out of the hospital. There were some side effects that I still suffered from for only a couple of more days, but everything seemed to be fine after a while.

Some days my friends came by. They brought the present that I by accident left on my doorstep. It was a crystal grey keychain with my name in it.

I eventually also had to explain to them why I was laying in the hospital since I couldn't lie about that anymore and thank god that all of them reacted different than how I thought they would.

I expected them to either yell and be angry at me or leave me like other people did. But instead they were very supportive and it seemed to improve our relationships with each other.

We were talking every day with each other either by the phone or one of them visiting me at home.

It was nice, we were like one big family. I definitely saw them as my brothers.

My mom and the doctors wanted me to go back to therapy which I understood yet I convinced them not to. I really didn't want to go back to that place again. After hours of heated discussions I finally convinced my mom, but of course there were some conditions.

One of them was that she would be checking on me so she could make sure I was taking my medicines and there would pretty much always someone be around me unless I had to go to the bathroom or sleep.

It was kind of annoying though, but then again I did understand where she was coming from. I'm her one and only son that she almost lost twice.

The only good thing about this was that Justin was mostly the one who had been around me. Also Ryan, but I noticed he was acting strange and mischief lately as if he was hiding something from me.

And right now, I was going back to school again.

I wasn't really ready for that since rumors here spread like a crossfire and of course everyone heard the news about me.

Curse to being popular.

When I was about to step inside the building, I saw Justin, Tyler and Ryan with the rest of my friends keeping up with me.

"Hey, not so fast Gray" Micah said.

Micah was one of the boys in my friend group, he was your typical sports guy except for the fact that he wasn't mean or rude towards anyone.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at all on them in confusion and surprise.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked confused and shook my head.

"Did you really think we would let you go alone in there?" Justin spoke up and embraced me in his warm hug.

"Yeah we are your friends man, we won't let you do this alone now that everyone knows" Wess told me and shot me a comforting smile once Justin took a step back.

Wess was your all time school boy crush. This boy was smart, funny and good looking. He had every girl on his feet, but of course he stayed loyal to his girlfriend Layla.

"Thank you guys" I smiled genuinely happy with the fact that I got these guys.

"Group hug!" Tyler suddenly yelled.

We all laughed loud when our bodies were literally squeezing me.

"Okay okay that's enough guys, lets go" I said a bit more confident of what was about to happen.

And just like that we all stepped into the school like we were some sort of alliance. I honestly felt safer and better with all of them next to my side. I didn't even care anymore that everyone in the school was looking at us with open mouths and wide eyes by now.

With them next to me, everything would be okay.

We went towards a table in the cafeteria and all settled down. We were talking about everything and anything, but for some reason I couldn't really concentrate.

I haven't been hallucinating nor imagining things about Rain which made me feel kind of proud of myself and how my life took a turn for the better. I'm also clean from any sort of drugs, tabac and alcohol for over two weeks by now. Sure, I still had my downs, but everything went so much better than how it was in the beginning.

My thoughts went to Justin in that moment. He helped me through his, he's the cause of all this good. Thanks to him, Ryan and my friends I'm going to be okay.

Justin's green eyes reminded me so much of the trees, because they had so much color and brightness into them. I've never seen such a beautiful shade of green. It's even brighter than grass and drove me wild.

His voice gave me the strength that I needed. And let's talk about that perfectly golden hair that he had. I noticed that he wasn't styling it anymore. At first he always did that, but it seemed to be messy like mine was right now.

It was honestly adorable.

"Hey Matt, everything okay?" Ryan asked me and looked deep into my eyes.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. We need to hang out soon okay?" I hugged Ryan fast when he nodded with a smile and I joined into my friend's conversation before class started.

-

So today's school day wasn't just as bad as I thought it would be.

My friends really helped me through the day and if there were any questions about what happened then they basically just scared them off with the 'it's none of your bussiness' thing.

I absolutely was thankful for that.

Right now Justin was walking me home since of course my mom doesn't want me to be alone anymore.

Not that I really minded it. More time with Justin seemed to be more than just fine.

"You look really good these days Matz. I mean, you look so much happier and I basically see you shining like the sun" He started while he was still looking at the streets in front of him.

His hands were buried inside his leather jacket and his hair was slightly messy. There was a slight tan to be found in his skin and he was actually looking on point today as if he was trying to look even better than usual.

But I seriously thought that he couldn't even get any more beautiful than he already was.

"Thank you Justin, that's nice to hear. I am doing better and I do whatever it takes" I smiled and looked at the ground while a blush crept on my cheeks when I found myself staring at him.

Also when I got out of the hospital, things weren't really clear between Justin and I. We haven't talked about where we stood in or relationship or what would happen with us.

I mean, I thought we would go out or go on many dates, yet he never asked me and I wasn't sure if that was a sign that he didn't want me anymore since we barely had any psychical contact either.

"Justin"

"Matthew"

We both laughed after we said that at the same time.

"You first" I told him.

To my surprise we already stood in my doorstep by now so I turned around to look at him.

"Man I don't like standing here since the last time.. Everything went wrong here.. But I need to ask you this" He said with a shaky voice.

Only after that, I saw how nervous the poor boy looked all this time. He was shaky and jumpy. There was a small frown on his face and I could see in his eyes how dense he looked.

"What is it?" I asked now curious.

"Doyouwanttogooutwithme?!" He rambled fast all of a sudden.

"Sorry what? You talked a bit too fast" I laughed soft and wanted to grab his hand to make him feel at ease with me, but I wasn't sure if I could do that.

What if he didn't like me?

"Do you want to go out with me?" He asked this time slower and smiled soft to hide hid nerves.

"Like.. on a date?" My eyes widened, hoping that he meant that.

I was surprised that he actually wanted to go further with this, but then again everything was going well between us for a long time by now. We hung out a lot at my house.

"No, like a schooltrip. Uh yeah of course like a date silly" He laughed and seemed to loosen up.

"Yes! Yes of course I want to" I yelled without a doubt.

I swear his face lit up like the fourth of july in that moment.

"Good, I'm picking you up at friday 8 PM" He shot me a cheeky smirk before walking away.

I couldn't remember how long I stood outside from that moment on. But when I got back inside, I leaned my back on the door feeling surprised, shocked and mostly giggly.

"Holy shit, Justin McCall just asked me out on a date.."