Ease
Troye Sivan x Broods

Matthew Gray

His touch, his comfort, my lullaby.
We were holding on tight, sleeping at night. We never let go of one another.

God.. How much I missed those nights.

You'll realize how important the small things were the moment you'll lose the person itself. Those small things were always the best moments with that person.

He always knew how to make me feel at ease, just by holding onto me and never letting go. His warmth was one of the things that calmed me down at an instant. He didn't have to try.

"Matt?" Justin shook me out of my thoughts.

"Oh sorry, what?" I asked confused and looked into his worried green eyes.

"I asked you something" He reminded me and smiled weakly almost sympathetically at me as if he knew what I was thinking about.

"Oh right, sorry" I apologized immediately, feeling guilty for not paying any attention to him.

"I don't exactly know what helps me. I mean, focusing on him was what helped me. He always knew how to help me, because he was right there and now-" I sighed, thinking back at those small memories.

How he laughed at me every time I talked or got worked up about something totally pointless, yet he was listening and looked genuinely interested.

Or how we both stared at each other, taking in each other's features. We had time, so much time until he became sick. I remembered how we smiled at each other like two lovesick high school girls as if nothing could tear us apart.

Sadly we parted our ways. Unwillingly.

"It's okay Matt, you don't have to tell me" Justin tried to reassure me and smiled.

"It's not like I don't want to tell you, it's all just one huge mess right now and I don't know what or how he did all those things" I sighed thinking back at those good and now, hurtful moments.

This was so weird. What was I doing? On a normal basis I wasn't as so open about my life as I was now. Why was I suddenly so open towards Justin? Why did it feel so natural and safe? This was nothing like me.

"Hey, don't worry about it okay? You're taking everything too hard on yourself" He said and it looked like he really didn't mind my behavior which made me genuinely smile at him for once.

"Thank you Justin"

"Of course, no problem"

"No I mean seriously.. Thank you so much. I know I haven't been the best these days and you being so patient with me helps a lot. You're the only one who hasn't been forcing me to talk, change my behavior or relieve everything. Thank you for that" I told him and once I let out all those words I couldn't look away from his surprises bright green eyes.

His eyes were putting me at ease.

"I- God you have me speechless Matt.. No problem, really. I haven't done anything, I actually look up to you because of how strong you are"

That's when a comfortable silence fell between us, looking at each other and sending each other some smiles every now and then. There was this comforting atmosphere between us and this was so unlike how our relationship used to be. He hated me and look us now, we're in one room without having the urge to kill each other. I enjoyed this silence until Justin spoke up again.

"Have you been studying for the upcoming history test?" He asked me, tilting his head slightly to the right which was something I noticed him doing when he was really listening.

"Oh shit!" My eyes widen and I started to panic slightly.

I've been so sad, thinking about how shitty my life was and I just seemed to forget about that stupid history test that was indeed tomorrow already.

What do I do now? I literally suck at History and I didn't understand a damn thing about that shit. I mean, why learning about the past if it happened already?! I started to think about an excuse, but everything see-

"Hey hey, Matt? Calm down, I can help you out today if you want? Don't worry okay?" Justin spoke up which made me frown.

"Oh my god, did I say that out loud?!" I felt my cheeks heating up and my eyes widened.

"Yeah you did" He laughed and nodded.

His laugh was soft, but I like the sound of it. It's a once in a while laugh, a laugh that you never heard anywhere else.

"D-do you really want to help me? I don't want to bother you with m-my issues and make the rest of your day look so boring" I sighed feeling guilty all over again.

"Of course I want to help you silly! I'll even stay up all night with you if that is what it takes for you to pass that test. Oh and don't worry about the last part, it'll be totally worth it" He winked at me and left me confused about what he meant, but I decided to ignore it.

The fucker would make me beg if I'd ask him.

After a while we got up from our seats and walked towards my house, talking about the weirdest topics ever. I really enjoyed talking to him though. He was really funny, happy, open and outgoing. It made me want to know more about him and his life.

When we arrived at my house, I immediately hugged my mom.

"Hi mom, is it okay if Justin stays here for a while? He's helping me out with History" I explained to her.

"Yes of course honey, is he going to eat dinner with us too?" She asked me which made me look questionable at Justin.

"Hi miss Gray, it's so nice to finally meet you. I'd gladly like to stay here for dinner if you don't mind of course?" He asked in the most adorable and polite way.

It made me want to snort. I've never seen him like that, it was funny and kind of adorable.

Kind of.

"Aw honey, just call me Nicola okay? And it would be such a pleasure if you'd stay here!" She smiled like a mad man towards Justin so I frowned at her.

Why was she looking and acting so weird?

"Anyways, we're going upstairs to study" I said and grabbed Justin's arm to drag him to my room, because I felt really awkward with my mom.

"Sorry for that by the way, my mom can be weird sometimes" I said while rushing to clean up my room.

I totally forgot that my room was looking like a mess these days. I took all the stuff that sat in the way and threw it in a corner.

"You can lie down on the bed if you want, would you like something to drink before we start?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine let's just dig into it" He smiled at me which automatically made me smile back at him as I went to lay next to him and supported myself on my elbows on the bed.

After a while of explaining everything from the Renaissance, I finally started to get it for a bit so we decided it would be time to quit after I scored a 6.5 out of 10 on this practice test.

"So do you really get it? I mean, is there anything you want to ask about it?" He asked sweetly and looked up at me.

I couldn't seem to concentrate anymore ever since I felt our arms brushing against each other constantly. I don't know what it was, but it felt good and familiar. It made me feel kind of scared, but I didn't pull away.

"Matt?"

"Huh what? Sorry I zoned out" I apologized and felt myself blushing again.

God, why was I acting so weird and blushing so much today?

"I asked you if you still had any questions?" I looked up to him and I saw him frowning in a concerned way.

I suddenly saw how close we were leaning to each other and that made me lean in even further, staring into those intense green eyes. Somehow I forgot everything and I could feel myself lean in, but that's when my mom came bursting in and I jumped away from him, almost falling out of my bed.

"Dinner's ready!" She smiled, luckily not suspecting anything and went back downstairs again.