*For You... as I like to think

She comes to him like a light

Not like a sunbeam not a shaft between high-rises

Not a ray poking through voluminous clouds;

Not diffused like the moon

Reflecting over the calm water of a lake

Or a sudden flicker of a candle

Nor the slick tongues of fire in a hearth-

She comes to him like a laser beam from a distant place

He falls into that pin prick light of hers-

There is no pause to ponder

Whether this is wrong or right

No moment of confusion

Nor a blink of hesitation in the eye

He falls in as one falls in

Who has been bereft of light so long

He sees it only as salvation-

No resistance in him

For the beam holds within the mystery of everything

Everything

In its light

He witnesses wonders

He sees her everywhere; her picture there-

He reaches a hand but there is naught to grasp

Only the beam to wave vain fingers through

There and there

She is everyplace at once

Taunting and teasing leading him onward

Upwards-

Advancing him with coy words whispered

And her glimpses promising

Promising

She is unlike

She is unknown

She is as none and every and as one solitary

Yet containing all

"Who are you?" he asks

"I am yours."

"No. It cannot be." 

"Yes. Everything within me is yours.

Everything without me is yours.

You manifested me."

"But you are real." 

"I am your real."

He pushes on

He pushes up

He pushes out punching at tendrils of her insistence

Tearing at tangles

Made by her outpouring of sweet sweet

Sweat

Heat 

He battles words and more-so silence

Inflicted and imposed

Silence in which he seeks to lose himself - and her -

Only to find himself anew

Renewed

Words licking wounds and softly

Lips touching bruised skin-

Hers

He stares at each new shared expression

With a vigour and a strength he'd considered long abandoned

Hung out to dry like dreams awry 

"This then is a road less travelled." 

"Yes it is."  Her voice nods her eyes dare

"Yet I remain grounded

Still also walking the first path-

How can this be?" 

"One can walk two paths simultaneously.

One can be two, just as two can be one."

"Are we one?" 

"We walk alongside but maybe the next bend

Perhaps the bend after that one-

Maybe right at the very end when life ceases

To care

We will become one

Know that."

He plays with her

A little ahead a little behind (show me some ass)

He chases then runs he runs then chases

He plays as one who's never known the joy of simple play

He plays as one who can play anything he wishes

Anything he dreams

He beams;

Relishing ping after ping

As she thrusts music notes his way-

Soft jazz and then some crazy

Crazy mischief of the flesh

He plays

Hardness and softness mingling on the page

A virtuoso hiding from the world

Rehearsing with flamboyance

The rest will never witness:

She is his secret

"I am here to please you, tell me!"

"You do much more than that, dear." 

"What else, what else?"

Her eyes beg and also test

He treasures this disparity

Her utter openness presented as a

Fait accompli and yet... yet he feels her trying him

Prying him dredging out stuff

Things he thought and never bought

Sensations imagined yet never entrusted

She gives but also takes from him

Piece by piece

Each one he hands over accepted by her

With the purest of delights

Her delight in turn infecting him

Filling him with essence of man primeval

Claiming and staking and much pounding of the chest

He feels the man 

Back on the old road he fights off demons:

"STOP" "DANGER" "RISK" and of course "BEWARE"

But away from the fight he sees her still

Her image reflecting back at him

From his early morning coffee

Her face teasing with a half-smile from billboards

And road signs and sides of passing trucks-

Her body

... Oh how he converges on those splayed

Unfurled stripped and expansive images-

Eating her up filling her up

He eats and drinks and yet is always hungry

Always thirsty-

The beam enticing the demons infighting

And he

He inevitably falls in

He falls in

"When you return to me, I come to life."

She tells him this repeatedly

"Away from you, life has no color." 

"Away from me, you are a man."

"And here?" 

"Here you are everything and see every hue

And think every notion

Here there are no filters and everything comes through-

As it is meant."

"Is there an end to you?" 

"I end when you stop falling in."

"Then?" 

"Then you continue. You live as you live."

"And you?" 

"I will be ever-present. My fate is not my own."

"I love you." 

"You love me because I hold no end for you

I love you because you see me-

We love that which completes us."

Inside the beam he lives adventures

Climbs heights of fantasy

Swirling amid her open pores 

Vague essence of vanilla

Coconut

Wafting between lines threaded in sea-green

And wisps of gold and that pure pure white...

Absorbing her insouciance

Within its crocheted flower petals

Hands bunching fabric

His own tearing at it tearing at it

Tearing at her

A lust

A thrust though time and space

And getting a firm fast grip at last

A glimpse of promise

Another promise

And lean thigh leaning on the edge just out of reach

His mind- oh how it touches her everywhere

His mind!

Within it she is past and now

And another new moment just birthed by the last

He feels immortal 

"Never misplace me,"  she says, "I hold no such methodology."

"I will never tire of you."

He promises her that moment

And the next moment and then the next

He lives and writes and breathes

And reads and lives again set times

Locations like a movie caught in endless loop:

Wake do and be

Say and respond

Seek some peace amid the ambient cacophony

And when the moment arrives

Dive

Explore the way of flesh and liquid

And food presented in another form:

Ambrosia to his oft-parched famished inner wonderment

He craves as one who knows not what he seeks

Yet feels the fascination of having found it

Awe

Bewilderment

And curiosity

And oft just plain old flesh response

An automatic riposte to a mere thought

Of her 

"I will never have enough. Of you." 

"There will never be not enough to have of me..."

He looks about his tactile world

With new-found yearning

Pictures her here and there

Fitting each scene-

Delighting in knowing she'd like this or that

Here  or over there

(Where the market stalls are tumultuous colour-

Like her hair, like when

The wild-child woman in her crawls out of the forest

And consumes him with her riotous hues-)

Greens and blues yellows and oranges

And sizzling delicious pinks

Hot and cool

Heating him

Overheating him

Then  smoothing

Soothing

Caressing the flushed edifices of her curves

Imprinted on his flesh

"I love you more." 

"I love you to the moon."

"Is that where it leads? This light." 

"You are guiding it."

"No. I fall in. I fall in

And then you lift me and you drift me." 

"Look for the source within beloved

See where it starts in you."

He stares at his right hand

(The hand once yielding strength

And now instead a pen)

Fingers bending grasping

Fingers extending

Contracting squeezing releasing tugging and-

He peers at the small laser gun

Its bronze exterior warm

Far too warm in his sweaty palm

Thumb hovering over the small black button-  

Squeeze

The beam shoots off

Dissolving somewhere up in the night sky

Too far for his naked eye

He falls in

He falls in

"I adore you,"  she greets him as always

The black corset accentuating her small waist-

How often has he held this waif-like waist

Between extended hands

Firmly moulding her folding her

Bending her into that most perfect fit

Somewhere between the sea and shore

The wet and dry

The craving so intense it elicits

Heaving waves of conscious impossibility

Pound real

She fits his every instance

On the screen