"The hardest thing you will have to do in life is to let go of the people you may want to hold on to."

— ♥️ —

They're all the same.

You scoffed, an ironic smile spreading across your face as you downed yet again another shot of tequila. You couldn't help but ask yourself why you keep on ending up with jerks.

What on earth did I even do to deserve this?

Earlier this afternoon, you found out that [Random Cheating/Jerk Ex-boyfriend's Name] had been cheating on you for weeks now with [Random Bitch]. You'd been dating for almost six months, he was sweet and thoughtful and kind, and so it didn't even occur to you that he would one day betray you.

Yeah, well, just like every fucking one of them did.

Ughhh. At this point, you just wanted to stay single for the rest of your life.

Screw boys. Screw dating. Screw marriage.

Feeling a bit tipsy now, you called for the bartender then paid for your drinks. You wouldn't want to get yourself drunk now when you didn't have anyone to take care of you.

Granted, you weren't really much of a drinker. And as a matter of fact, this was only the second time you had tried drinking alcoholic beverages. The first time was during your eighteenth birthday a month ago when you and your friends went out to celebrate.

You bit back a curse, feeling rather stupid for doing something so foolish. It wasn't like getting drunk would actually help you escape your misery. What were you thinking?

Damn. This was all [Random Cheating/Jerk Ex-Boyfriend's Name]'s fault. That cheating bastard!

The chilly winter air welcomed you as soon as you walked out of the bar. You regretted not wearing a coat as you shivered in the cold while walking down the busy road. Glancing at your watch to check the time, you cursed when your vision suddenly went spinning around, making you sway on the road.

"Oops," a deep male voice spoke from behind you as strong arms came to hold you in place.

You turned to look at the man who was holding you then frowned. You didn't recognize him. He looked concerned but the malicious glint in his eyes had told you otherwise.

You cuss again in silence. Why am I so unlucky?

"Thanks," was what you said before breaking free of his grasp and hurriedly walking away from him.

"Hey, wait. You're drunk."

He was following you, which made you a little scared. He looked like he was already in his late twenties—in short, an adult—so what made him think that it was okay to follow a high school girl like you around?

The man grabbed your arm, grasping it tightly, halting your movements. At this point, you were already panicking as you tried to get rid of his hand. "Ow. Let me go!"

He merely smirked, sweeping his eyes up and down your body. You shivered in fear and disgust. "I'm just worried for you. Why don't I take you home? Let's go to my car and I'll—"

"Why don't you take your filthy hands off her and scram instead, you pervert?" came a familiar voice from behind you.

Oikawa Tooru suddenly entered your line of view, towering over you and the man who still refused to let you go.

"Who are you?" the man asked warily, tilting his head up just to meet Oikawa's menacing gaze. The latter was so tall that he looked like he could easily crush the man if he wanted to. Realizing that, he tightened his grip on your arm even more.

Ow. You winced in pain, struggling to break free but to no avail.

Oikawa's eyes darkened upon seeing the pained expression on your face. He grabbed the man's collar, raising it furiously. "I said take your hands off her or I'll go call the police," he said, almost growling.

As if on cue, the man hastily let you go then scrambled away. Oikawa mentioning the police must have scared the shit out of him.

You groaned miserably, rubbing the aching part of your arm. "Thank you, Tooru."

Oikawa didn't look pleased at all as he examined your face, then his eyes darted to your arm which was just held by that pervert a moment ago. "Are you out of your mind? Drinking by yourself in the middle of the night? You're lucky I happened to pass by or else..."

You rolled your eyes at his lecturing, though you inwardly admitted that you were indeed being reckless. If Oikawa didn't arrive on time who knew what might have happened to you. The mere thought itself sent shivers down your spine.

There was silence for a minute before Oikawa reached for his phone then started typing. Only then you had the time to check him out. He was still wearing his jersey pants and jacket, you figured he just finished his volleyball practice and was on his way home when he spotted you.

This man, Oikawa Tooru, was actually one of your ex-boyfriends.

He didn't cheat on you though, or betrayed your trust in any way, unlike the rest of your ex-boyfriends that followed him did. And as a matter of fact, it was the opposite. It was you who broke his heart. You ended your relationship with him two years ago—after dating for nearly a year—because you thought you were incompatible with him.

Oikawa barely had any time for you as he was always busy with volleyball. Although you understood he passionately loved the sport, you couldn't help but feel insecure. Your relationship gradually became toxic as the two of you began to fight and argue almost every day.

You didn't want to leave him then, but you had to make that decision for the both of you even if you knew it'd be hard.

After you broke up with the third year setter, you somehow always end up with guys that either dumped you because you were boring or cheated on you with another girl. You've now had a total of four failed relationships after you separated ways with Oikawa.

It almost felt like Oikawa Tooru had jinxed you.

"Come on," he started, pulling you out of your thoughts. "I'll take you home. Can you walk?"

"I can manage."

He frowned, staring at your face before releasing a heavy sigh. "Forget it," was all he said before lowering himself in front of you—as if waiting for you to get on his back. "You're drunk. I'll carry you home instead."

You froze in place as you felt your cheeks heat up with what he said. "I'm not drunk."

"Yes, you are. And hurry up before I change my mind."

You could hear a slight hint of gentleness in his voice even though he made it sound as though he was completely annoyed by you. Reluctantly, you got on his broad back then wrapped your arms around his neck. His familiar scent—which was a mixture of his favorite cologne and sweat—invaded your nostrils and you couldn't help but smile.

It brought back pleasant memories of you and him before.

Oikawa secured you in his hold, making sure you were comfortable, before taking long strides away from that place and into the direction of your house.

"You reek of alcohol," he complained, though you knew he was teasing. "Disgusting."

You popped a vein to that then pulled a few locks of his brown hair, earning a small groan from him. "Shut up. You smell of sweat yourself."

He only chuckled at what you said, rendering you speechless for a moment. He sounded happy to be with you, as if there never was a time where in he hated you for leaving him.

You smiled to yourself, relaxing in his hold.

"Thank you, Tooru."

***

"I know you love me. I know you do, Tooru."

"If you know then why are you doing this? Why are you breaking up with me?"

"I just can't take it anymore. I'm aware that you are very passionate about volleyball, and I know I can't compete with that, and I want to keep on supporting you. I love seeing you play, I want to continue cheering for you—"

"Then why? Why, [First Name]? Did your feelings for me change?"

"No! I love you, but... You make me so sad..."

"W-What?"

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe sometimes I want to go on a real date and not just sit on the stands alone, watch you practice everyday? That maybe I want to talk about other things besides volleyball? That maybe, I don't know, I want to see you make an effort for us? To keep our relationship going? To keep me?"

"I'm... I'm sorry... I... I didn't..."

"Let's just go our separate ways, Tooru. You can focus more on volleyball that way, so you won't have to deal with me and my nagging anymore."

"[First Name], I—"

"Go and become the number one setter in Japan, okay?"

The look on Oikawa Tooru's face that day, that day you ended your relationship with him, was something you couldn't forget. Even to this day.

He looked so hurt, so lost, so broken.

You slowly fluttered your [Eye Color] eyes open, letting them adjust to the light, as you cupped your aching forehead. It had been so long since the last time you dreamt of that day. Perhaps it was because you were with Oikawa last night.

The setter took you home safe and sound last night, much to your parents' relief. Turned out Oikawa had informed your mother via text that he found you drunk on the road and promised them he would take you home.

Oikawa had always been close to your parents back when you two were still dating so you weren't surprised anymore he still had your mom's phone number saved on his phone. Well, despite that obnoxious attitude of his, he knew how to get along with your family. Maybe that was one of the little efforts he made for you then.

Smiling ironically, you grabbed your phone to check your notifications. Your eyes widened upon seeing a text from the man who had dominated your mind first thing in the morning.

Your mom told me that maybe you got dumped AGAIN so you went out drinking.

You buried your flushed face against your soft pillow in utter embarrassment upon reading his message, especially since he emphasized the word "again". You were about to reply to him when you noticed that he had actually sent you two messages, so you hurriedly opened the other one.

Stupid. I didn't let you go just so you could let other guys hurt you.

Sucking on your breath, you stared at your phone's screen. Even though you badly wanted to give him a response, you didn't know what to say.

He just discovered that you had been miserable ever since you left him.

You groaned aloud, pulling the roots of your [Hair Color] hair. "Is this Karma? Am I being punished for hurting that damn volleyball idiot?"

But it wasn't like he was the only one that suffered. You remembered all those times you cried yourself to sleep almost every night after that day you ended things with him. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't forget him. Maybe that was why you decided to date other guys—to divert your attention away from Oikawa and anything that would remind you of him.

Though, unfortunately, none of those relationships ended well for you.

Ugh. I knew it. I'm being punished.

***

It was during lunch hour when you went to the lockers area to get something when [Random Cheating/Jerk Ex-Boyfriend's Name] approached you, giving you a quick embrace with that bright smile on his face, as if everything was perfectly fine between the two of you.

Well, he had no idea that you already knew all about his treachery.

"Do you want to eat lunch together, babe?" he asked sweetly, much to your chagrin. When you pushed him away from you, he asked with a frown, "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to waste another second of my precious life with a cheating, disgusting jerk like you," you replied calmly, but the venom lacing your voice left him speechless, so you continued, "I already know you've been screwing [Random Bitch] behind my back, so why don't you go eat your lunch with her while I move on with my life?"

The surprised expression on his face didn't linger for long as it was immediately replaced with an angry scowl. Perhaps he realized it was pointless to deny, he shrugged his shoulders instead then pointed an accusing finger at you. "This is your fault, so don't act like you didn't waste my time either."

"What? What are you even talking about—"

"You're a boring girlfriend, [Name]. Don't you know that?"

Your eyes widened at what he said. Boring. That word again. That was how your other ex-boyfriends described you as well.

You were speechless so he continued, smirking auspiciously as if taking delight in seeing you so confused. "You don't get intimate with me, you don't open yourself up to me. I mean, damn, you don't even want to hold my hand. What do you think I'll feel after being treated like that? You don't really want me, you just want someone to call your boyfriend."

Tears blurred your sight upon hearing his accusations, and before you knew it you were already crying.

"I—"

You didn't get to finish because a volleyball suddenly came flying towards his face, knocking him down. You immediately turned to look at where it came from and saw an approaching Oikawa Tooru, with that grim look on his face.

[Random Cheating/Jerk Ex-Boyfriend's Name] angrily pulled himself up then glared at the volleyball player. "You—"

"How dare you put the blame on her after hurting her? How foolish! If you're not satisfied with her, why don't you tell her directly?"

"Who needs your opinion? You're—"

Oikawa, once again, cut him off. "I know you don't need my opinion here, but I just can't sit by and watch you manipulate her into thinking that there's something wrong with her."

You gasped at what he said, feeling the tightening of your chest. You opened your mouth to speak, but you couldn't bring yourself to utter a word.

The third year setter gave you a brief look, as if examining your face, before grabbing your hand then pulling you closer to him. "Let's go. He's not worth your time."

Oikawa lead you out of there, leaving [Random Cheating/Jerk Ex-Boyfriend's Name] seething in anger.

***

Oikawa Tooru knew you were emotionally unstable at the moment so he brought you to the rooftop to get some air, buying you [Favorite Drink] from a vending machine on the way.

It was quiet and peaceful, which only made you want to cry even more. No matter how you badly wanted to do it, however, you held back. You didn't want him to see you even more miserable than you already were.

"I can't believe you fell for that kind of guy, [Name]."

You rolled your eyes. "I didn't fall for him."

"Really?" He sounded like he wasn't convinced at all. "Then why did you date him?"

"I don't know," you answered honestly, "I thought it was what I wanted, but now, looking back, we really didn't even have any sort of connection to begin with."

...or any of the other guys you've dated after Oikawa Tooru for that matter.

You were a boring girlfriend indeed, like what they said, maybe because you weren't happy at all while you were with them.

"Well, what do you want?" He was eyeing you seriously, watching you lean your back against the wall, clutching the drink he bought for you tightly.

For some reason, you felt helpless under his gaze. He was asking you so many questions, as if he was waiting for a specific answer to come out of your mouth. It was honestly kind of awkward because this was the first time you've had this kind of conversation with him ever since you two broke up. You often saw each other at school but aside from greetings and casual conversations from time to time, you've never really had the chance to talk seriously like this—and about your lovelife, too.

Well, while you were busy finding your "Mr. Right" and only getting nothing but disappointments each time, Oikawa Tooru remained single, focusing on his volleyball more. You would see him occassionally flirt and interact with his fangirls, but that was it. You guessed he didn't have any time to waste on dating since he had such a big ambition.

"I don't even know what I want anymore," you replied with a heavy sigh, tilting your head up to stare at the clear blue sky above. "I guess it's been that way after we parted."

There was silence for a minute before, "You know, I may not be always available to take you out on romantic dates but I will never look at other girls."

You darted your eyesight back to his handsome face, he was giving you a sincere expression. Well, you knew for a fact he wasn't that kind of guy, but... "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'll love you better this time, so can we try again, [Name]?"

You were too surprised at what he'd said that you accidentally dropped the drink you were holding onto the ground. He was very direct to the point, as if he had been waiting for this all his life. Feeling your irregular heartbeat, you stared at him intently, as if making sure he wasn't kidding around.

"I'm sure you have realized by now you'll never find someone as perfect as me." What he said next, however, earned him a glare and a slap on the arm from you. But he merely chuckled lightly, grabbing your hand and then intertwining with his, bringing it closer to his face to kiss your knuckles. "Are you willing to start all over again with me?"

"You don't hate me for leaving you?"

He immediately shook his head, as if he had been waiting for you to ask him that. "It was my fault. I didn't realize how much of a fool I am for taking you and your feelings for granted. Even Iwa-chan and the rest said that I deserved it."

Hot tears streamed down to your cheeks but you hurriedly wiped it away with your free hand. "Well, they're not wrong."

He laughed softly, and you couldn't help but smile as well. You suddenly felt like a load of burden was taken off of you. You felt so relieved and content and happy while looking at him—his smile, his brown eyes, his handsome features.

Then you realized... You still loved him. You never stopped loving him. You regretted breaking up with him with all your heart. You wanted to be with him.

You wanted to be with Oikawa Tooru no matter how frustrating he could be sometimes, no matter how much of a volleyball idiot he was, no matter how imperfect he was.

You wanted him, and only him.

Oikawa pulled you closer then encased you in his long arms, hugging you tightly. And when you returned his embrace, he buried his face against your hair, closing his eyes then whispered, "I'm so happy right now I could die."

You felt like melting into his strong arms upon hearing that, but you decided to tease him more. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. It doesn't suit you."

"Easy for you to say, you playgirl." He must have been talking about how you had been changing boyfriends for the past two years.

Chuckling, you pulled away from his embrace then held both sides of his face before planting a brief kiss on his surprised lips. "It took me two years to realize that what I truly wanted was to be with you. I still want to be with you."

Oikawa didn't say anything for a moment but his eyes glistened with tears in the sunlight. "I love you, [Name]," he said softly, pressing his lips on your forehead.

"I love you too, [Tooru]."

Then as if suddenly remembering something, he gave you a naughty smile then said, "Wow. I'm now your first and sixth boyfriend."

"Oh my god," You pinched his cheek hard, embarrassed. "Stop it."

You were both laughing at how he managed to make light of your stupid decisions before when the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch break. You were just about to remind Oikawa that the both of you haven't eaten lunch yet when he suddenly pulled you closer by the waist again and kissed you on the lips. He pulled away almost immediately though, but did not let you go.

"Just a few minutes more, then we'll go."

You couldn't help but giggle at the sight of him staring at you with pleading eyes. "Fine, but—"

Oikawa didn't even let you finish and immediately claimed your lips once again into a long, passionate kiss. The intensity of it had you gripping into his chest tightly. It was sweet and hot and moist and breathy—you could taste your shared breath, feel the thud of your combined heartbeat. He worked his mouth against yours hungrily, longingly, as if wanting you to never forget this moment—this kiss and the pleasurable sensations it was giving you.

Oikawa Tooru promised himself to never let this chance you gave him be wasted—this chance to make everything right again with you. He may not be a perfect man, but he promised that he would love you with everything he had. This time, for sure.

I won't ever let you go again, [Name].