Now
Kyla

It wasn't hard to catch up to Lily and Tyler. They were extremely slow walkers.
Any other time it would have annoyed me but today it helped.

I was thankful that they hadn't asked about what had happened. I didn't like that I had weaknesses like this and I liked talking about it even less. Especially with people I didn't know extremely well.

They were walking up front with Jeremy now, talking about fighting techniques and the importance of strategies, laughing together.
I walked behind them, refusing to engage in the conversation.

Still, I rolled my eyes at the back of Jeremy's head, who was currently lecturing the two kids that a good strategy was the key to the positive outcome of a fight.
Jeremy loved his strategies.
Everything had to be planned and in order for him.
He might have turned into a pretty good fighter over the years but he still wasn't very spontaneous.

I watched them talk and laugh and was painfully reminded that I used to talk and laugh like that, too.

I caught Lily looking at me with an empathetic and apologetic look on her face, again. This had to be the fifth time she had turned around to look at me. It was annoying.

I didn't want her pity. Nor did I need it.

At least it seemed like she didn't hate me as much anymore. Probably, because she had seen that I had feelings, too - somewhere deep down.
I didn't care but whatever.

"What are you looking at?", I snarled at her and she whipped her head back forwards, not saying a word. From behind I could see Jeremy's shoulder tense.

I knew that he disapproved of my bad mood but I couldn't say I cared much.
Sometimes Jeremy had very unrealistic expectations of me.
I could never just be happy and nice around everyone like he was. It just didn't work.

"Are we there yet?", I asked now, interrupting the conversation the three of them had had.
We'd been walking for a while now and it felt like we should have already arrived at the kids' camp.

My backpack was heavy and I was sweating. I didn't want to walk any longer.

Summer was ending and while the days were getting gradually colder and somewhat shorter, right now it felt as if the sun was burning down on my head with the intention of melting me.
I would have killed for a drop of water right about now.

Of course, I wouldn't have admitted any of that to Jeremy.
He would only take it as a chance to gloat and tell me that he'd been right about what to pack.

"Almost", Lily said and came to a stop rather abruptly. "It's right in front of us now, actually. There, through the trees."

I was about to tell her that everything around here was through trees – we lived in a forest –but I held myself back. Right now I had better things to do than mock little children.
So instead I let my backpack fall to the ground and marched to the front of our group, once again taking on the position of the leader.

"Alright", I said. "This is what we're going to do: Tyler or Lily, either one of you will watch my backpack and drag it along, since I'll be doing the fighting and you two need to be good for something at least."
Tyler groaned and Lily rolled her eyes.

Jeremy just looked at me with a judgmental look and it took everything in me to not just punch him in the face right there and now.
I couldn't believe he would take the side of the two brats.

"I've dealt with people like this before, so the first thing we'll do is assess the situation. No rash movements, no loud sounds, we're just going to observe. Then we can talk about strategy or whatever", I said with a side glance towards Jeremy.

I wondered whether it would have been better if I had told him about avenging Harper.
I genuinely didn't know.

Back then I had promised myself that I would tell him the entire story sometime in the future. Now I didn't know if I still wanted to.

"Anyway", I said, clapping my hands together once. "We're only here to get weapons, medicine and maybe food, ok? We won't kill anyone unless it's absolutely necessary."

"We don't want to kill anyone in any case!", Lily squeaked horrified and Tyler nodded in agreement.

Jeremy on the other hand looked at me sceptically. "Are you sure you're ok, Kyla?", he asked almost concerned. "I'd never thought I'd hear you suggest something sensible."

I gave him a long look, still thinking about all the things I had never told him. "Well", I said. "I'm full of surprises."

~

The four of us were hiding behind the trees surrounding the hide-out and watched the men and women go about their lives. Despite Tyler and Lily being unable to keep completely quiet for even a second no one had noticed us.
No wonder they had had to send fifteen men to fight me and still lost.

I had found what I was searching for within the first few seconds and diverted my attention to the rest of the camp. They had chopped down a big area of wood to make room for their camp, using the remaining wood to build small shacks for themselves. In the middle was a fire place with all the food stored around it. Their weapons were lying some distance away, all stacked together around one guard.

Idiot.

In the case of an attack he would only stumble over everything and kill himself in the process.
Sometimes I doubted the common sense of some people.

"Can't we fight some of them?",I asked now. "I can't stand this level of stupidity."
"No", Jeremy said. "This is the first agreeable thing you've suggested in years and I won't let you go back on it. Also, if anyone is going to fight people today it should be me. You had your fun yesterday."

"Jeremy", I said sweetly, eyes still on the people inside this man-made glade. "Love, your birthday was yesterday. Today is mine."

"It's not and you know it!"
"Liar", I told him.

"Kyla, first of all, the only liar here is you and we agreed to share!"
I distorted my face in disagreement. Sadly, this was true and Jeremy had made me swear that I would never betray him and take every fight for myself. Now I regretted that I'd ever made that promise.

"I don't like sharing! Also, don't you think some heads would look nice as trophies on top of my pile back home?"
I was obviously joking, but Tyler and Lily stared at me, looking disturbed.
"No", Jeremy said. "No heads will come into my bus. That's disgusting!"

"It's not your bus it's our bus and I can decide whatever -"

"Can you two please stop bickering?", Lily hissed into our direction and both of us fell silent. Neither me nor Jeremy had expected her to say anything. "Can we please concentrate on what's important here?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Fine!"

Jeremy who was back to watching the camp site pointed now at a bigger shack and said, "Look."

There were about ten children sitting pressed together, a wooden gate keeping them shut in. Only a few of them were around Tyler and Lily's age, most of them were a lot, lot, lot younger.

My heart twinged.

All of them looked starved – much worse than Lily and Tyler when we'd met them.
I hadn't thought it would be this gruesome.
"Why didn't you tell us that it was this bad?", I asked.

Tyler shrugged, not looking at me."It didn't look like you would care", he said, his voice strained and almost breaking. "We were just glad to get out of there."

"Are these your friends?", Jeremy asked now and Lily shook her head.

"No, we weren't allowed to speak or leave that shack. They'd beat us, if we did. Tyler once snuck out to steal food for us and afterwards he couldn't even sit up straight for a week. The gate isn't locked but the fear is enough to keep everyone inside."

"So that's why you smelled so terrible", I mumbled under my breath and could feel all three of them stare at me, silently asking how I could be this insensitive.
I wasn't very good in dealing with feelings.

"Jeremy", I started. "Didn't you say you wanted to fight this time?"
He nodded. "I distract them you collect medicine and weapons?"
"You know it", I said and gave him a grin, then turned my attention to the two kids next to us.
"You stay here. The only time I want to see you even move a muscle is if it gets too dangerous here or you have to retreat and hide a little farther away. And under no circumstances touch my food! Understood?"

Both of them nodded and I could see the fear that had lingered within them ever since they had escaped flame up once again. It was clear that they would never want to go back to where they had been held for God knows how long.

The worst part about all of this was that even if any of them had a choice they would still stay. Because how were some small, weak children supposed to survive alone out there in this big forest? With no way to take care of themselves.

Jeremy left the security of the trees but I wasn't worried for him. If they hadn't noticed us during the course of our elaborate conversation they weren't very good fighters either. Their only advantage were their numbers and those we had decreased significantly yesterday.
I watched Jeremy taunt them a little until he was occupied in a fight he would most definitely win.

Shortly after I emerged from the trees as well, but instead of going for any of the things we'd discussed I changed my direction completely and headed for the shack with the children in it.
I could see Jeremy note the change of plan and look at me distractedly, although it was unclear whether he was on board or against it.

Jeremy was engaging everyone enough that even if they had spotted me yet, they wouldn't be able to break loose. I arrived at the gate thanking God that Jeremy had annoyed me into teaching him how to fight. All of this would have been a lot more difficult without him here.

The children were huddled together, silently staring at me.
Just the sight of them made me feel sick and I loathed these people even more. Who was so heartless that they could do something like this to children? To anyone?
I was a horrible person and I still found it hard to believe that there were people even more terrible out there.

"Hey", I said as nicely as Icould, which was hard, considering I normally wasn't very nice.
The kids seemed to know this and shrunk back into one corner, their terror visibly showing on their faces. "I'm not going to hurt you", I told them. "Let's get you out of here, ok? Everything is going to be fine."

In the moment I finished my sentence something exploded behind me. For a terrible second I thought Jeremy might have been hit by something, but then a bullet zipped just past my head and relief flooded me.
Quickly I looked over the children to check that none of them had been hurt and then turned around to see who'd attacked me. It was a woman, now back engaged in fighting Jeremy, but I could still see the gun in her hand.

My heart beat faster and I couldn't help but feel exhilarated at the sight. It'd been so long since I'd held a gun in my hand.

"Sorry", a young voice said suddenly behind me and I turned around. Right. The children.

A little girl was standing by the gate now, looking at me. She must have been around ten years and I smiled. She was brave, this one. "Did you really come to help us?", she asked and my smile broadened.
"Yes", I said to her. "But you have to help me as well. Can you do that?"
The girl nodded. "What do I have to do?"

I pushed the gate that was separating us open now. "You have to convince everyone to come with me. You're very brave but your friends are all very scared! So you have to be brave for them as well, ok?"

The girl nodded again.
"But I'm scared, too, ma'am."
"Don't worry", I told her and gave her a soft smile. "I'm afraid, too."

Together with the little girl I helped everyone up and out of the shack.
Some of them were hardly able to stand and if the safety of these children wouldn't have been at hand I would have stormed off and killed every single person who'd been involved in this whole mess.

"You", I said to a boy, who seemed about the same age as Tyler. "Take one or two kids. Three of the weakest, come here. One of you has to climb on my back."

I turned around and knelt down waiting for someone to climb me. As the little girl I had spoken to earlier helped another small boy hang onto my shoulders, I watched Jeremy fighting the men and women. I was too preoccupied with the children as to count how many there were but it didn't matter. Jeremy seemed to still have things under control.

The gun I had seen before glistened in the sun and I stared at it entranced. I wanted it so badly. I missed having a gun. It was so useful.

"We're ready", the older boy said now, ripping me again out of my thoughts. I really needed to concentrate more on these kids. Otherwise, I might end up losing one.

Quickly, I stood up with the little boy hanging from my shoulders, picked up two more little girls and started running together with the others towards the wood, always one eye on the fight.

It wasn't far to the edge of the trees now. Lily and Tyler were waiting just behind there.
I ushered the kids in front of me, waiting for the smallest to catch up.
Just a few more steps and we'd be safe.
Just a few more steps.

Without warning something crashed into me and I fell to the ground, instinctively pushing the two girls I was holding tighter towards me. The little boy lost his grip and fell off my shoulders.
I landed on my back, skidding a short distance on the ground.

Instantly I pushed the girls out of my arms towards the wood and watched them run into the arms of Lily and Tyler.
Where was the boy? Where was the boy?

The woman from before fell on top of me, pinning me down, her warm, disgusting breath hitting my face. I grunted. She was muscly. Big and muscly. I did not like her.
I grunted more, trying to get her off me, but she was heavy. Almost too heavy.
Almost.
She was gripping her gun in her left hand, forcefully pressing it into my shoulder.

Where was the boy?

I gathered all the strength that was left in me and pushed the woman off of me and myself onto her. I was half her size and hardly even reached the ground as I was sitting on her. Soon she would have me back on the ground.
I had to find the boy.

I saw him almost immediately. He was lying some distance away from me, curled together and silently sobbing. Was he hurt? Oh God, please, don't let him be hurt, I prayed but when had prayers ever worked for me?
I needed to get to him but how, when
Before I could even finish my thought the woman threw me off her and I was once again pressed to the ground. As I fell I got a grip of her hair and now pulled as hard as I could managed. She screamed, some of the weight vanishing as she moved in the direction I was pulling.

"It's not nice to shoot at people and not kill them", I spit at her, slithered my legs out from under her and kicked her in the stomach.

For a short moment I had the upper hand again, but when I looked up the little boy was gone.
I couldn't do anything but hope that none of the other men and women had gotten to him.
Maybe he had got himself together and walked. Even if it seemed unlikely.

The woman now, copying my move, had gotten ahold of my hair and pulled at my ponytail. I needed to cut that off. Something like this would never happen with short hair.

We rolled around, entangled and gnarling at each other.
If I was honest I didn't really know how I would get out of this situation.
I could have easily stabbed her if I'd gotten even one hand free for only a second to reach for my weapons belt.

My sight was limited and so I couldn't even check how Lily and Tyler were doing with the children or if Jeremy had already won that stupid fight of his.

"You are a terrible person", I snarled at the woman, who was once again on top of me.
I was out of breath. I wouldn't be able to lift her off anymore.

Damn her for her beautifully strong body.

God, I wished I was her size andbuilt. She didn't even have to secure my arms or my legs. None of my efforts would work against her massive size. I didn't even have a way to reach any of my weapons.

I was trying to catch my breath and waited for death.

The woman reached for the gun, which she'd lost during our fight. I closed my eyes.
What a pity. I had been looking forward to use it in the future.
Now it seemed unlikely that I would have one at all.
In the next moment there was a bang to my head and I lost consciousness.

Jeremy

I whacked a heavy piece of wood against the woman's head just as she whacked her gun against Kyla's.

I was panting, expecting it not to be enough, but the woman fell off her and I knelt down, checking if she was alright. I brushed a few strands of hair out of her face.
She was fine.

I sighed in relief. What she'd done was extremely reckless, especially thinking about how she hadn't let me in on her plan, which she had clearly been formulating ever since she'd suggested coming here. But I was getting mad at her again, which was, even I had to agree, a little unfair. What she'd done was extremely reckless but it had also been extremely kind.

She'd been right. She still was full of surprises.

I grabbed ahold of her arm and hoisted her onto my back, letting her arms fall over my shoulders and steadying her by grabbing her legs at my waist.
I looked around the camp site.
They would soon regain consciousness, hopefully only when we were already long gone.

Sure, they knew where the bus was, but even if they dared come back we'd deal with them. We always had and this time wouldn't be different.

I bent down one last time and took the gun out of the woman's hand, who'd fought Kyla. She'd been begging for one for years now and most of the guns in the abandoned cities were too old to work properly.

And I definitely wouldn't let her go back to the Lost City. It had surprised me that she hadn't brought any weapons with her when she'd gone for my birthday, anyway.
The whole thing probably had been a bigger issue than she'd made it out to be.
Judging from what I knew she'd just been there a short time, getting what she'd come for and then vanished again.
At least she had learned something from last time.

I somehow managed to push the gun into Kyla's weapons belt and made my way far away from the camp site.

Lily and Tyler were no where to be seen and I sighed. No I'd have to search for them.
Still, I couldn't help but admit that they'd surprised me in a positive way today.
I hadn't expected them to handle the entire situation so well.

Tyler had calmed the children and led them away to safety, while Lily, without much thought, had stormed into the whole tumult to retrieve the little boy, who'd fallen off Kyla's shoulders.
We had made eye-contact as she had carried him away and I'd been surprised by her bravery. Until now she hadn't done much more than complain.
But like this maybe, someday, she'd even make a good fighter.

Kyla groaned next to my ear now and I couldn't help but smile. She was tough and stubborn.
If anyone was able to be fine in this world it was Kyla.

"What happened", she murmured, her chin digging into my shoulder.
"You got knocked out", I explained. "The gun is in your belt. I hope you'll stop nagging me now."

"Better than being shot", she said and moved her one hand to rub her head. "Are the kids safe?"

"Yes", I reassured her. "We have to find them first, though."
"You can do it. I believe in you", she mumbled and I could hear the grin in her voice.

"Oh, shut up."

"I'm going to go to sleep, Jeremy", she said then. "Keep on carrying me, you're doing a great job."
I rolled my eyes. She could never just let a nice moment be a nice moment.

"Before you go to sleep can you please tell me what we're going to do with all these children we have to take care of now?", I asked her. "I agree that those living conditions were horrible, but we can't raise ten kids! And living alone isn't an option for any of them."

Kyla groaned into my ear, her voice loud and obnoxious again. Yeah, she was absolutely fine.
"You worry to much", she said and started to get on my nerves again. What else should I do but worry? There was no way we'd be able to feed ten more hungry mouths! And whatever Kyla said, she was not fit to be a mother.

"Bring them to the oldsters", she said then. "They already have lots of kids and they love taking care of them, whatever they say. It keeps them busy."

I stayed silent at this, searching for something I could criticise about the idea. I didn't find anything.
I couldn't believe Kyla had actually thought this through.

Kyla was the least responsible person when it came to anything else, especially herself, but as soon as kids were involved she suddenly thought about solving problems instead of creating them.
She was so weird.

"Can I go to sleep now? Am I allowed to? Do I have permission?", she asked and I rolled my eyes again.
"Do whatever you want. But if you snore, I swear I'll drop you and leave you behind."

~

We found Lily and Tyler not short after. They'd hid about ten minutes away from the camp.
They were sitting on the grass together with the other children, eating all the food Kyla had brought with her. The only thing left were bones and maybe some leftovers.

"And here I thought you might have changed", I told them as I drew near.

Tyler looked up and without any remorse he said, "They were hungry."
"Apparently you were hungry, too", I claimed and nodded at the apple in his hand.

"What happened to Kyla?",Lily asked. "And what about all the medicine and food and weapons?", she continued. "Wasn't that why we actually came here?"

I shrugged as best as that was possible with Kyla hanging on my back and breathing into my ear. "I got some disinfectant and Kyla got a gun. It's fine for now. We'll just go to one of the abandoned cities later."

Again both Tyler and Lily looked at me with this questioning look that I knew too well by now.
I would have to explain everything to them!

"And Kyla?", Lily asked again.
"She's sleeping", I told her.

I watched her reaction with amusement.
It was clear that Lily's hatred for Kyla had turned into admiration because of what she'd done for the children but now the annoyance at Kyla soundly sleeping on my back visibly showed on her face, the two emotions fiercely battling each other. I was curious to see which would win in the end.
Most of the time it was annoyance.

"Come on", I said. "You can all eat on the way home, but we have to get away from here before they come back to life."

Tyler and Lily, together with the ones who were a little older, helped get the children ready and I was happy that everything seemed to go smoothly for once.

"We can take turns carrying the little ones", I heard Lily say and glanced to my right shoulder, where Kyla's head was lying.
I'd known her most of my life and yet most of the time I didn't know what she was up to.
In one moment she was only thinking of herself and how she could best annoy me and in the next she had only the well-being of some children in mind.

She'd often made a point of the fact that she didn't have feelings, but I knew it wasn't true. Sometimes I thought that maybe she had too many feelings for her to bare.

"Will we really have to walk the two hours back to the bus?", Tyler asked me now, coming up behind me with two snickering girls on his back.
I was glad to see that a little food was enough to make them happy.

"Unless you quickly find a new place to live nearby, yes", I said. "We'll drop Kyla off at the bus and then we're going to visit the people who'll take care of the kids."
We started moving and Lily caught up to us as well.
"And where is that?", she asked. "They're not your close friends, right? I'm sorry but I'm not exactly sure if either you or Kyla would be all that great as parents."

"Don't worry", I said, fully knowing that she was right but still feeling a little offended at the implications. "We know them but they are almost the complete opposite of us. They're great with kids and it won't be the first time they take some of them in."
"So who are they?", Tyler asked.

"Kyla's grandparents."