A/N:

Just as a reminder, when I use italics throughout an entire chapter, that will always be from Daniel's POV, but in this chapter I will be using italics a lot to only differentiate between the past and present time. Just in case someone got confused. . .

I got your back. And so does Daniel.

;)

P.S. Long chapter ahead. I'm sorry!!

Brock's Bar & Grill was crawling with drinkers on late Friday nights.

Jude walked through its doors and went past the rock band playing on the stage and past the bar and the pool tables and out onto the gated patio. There were several round wrought-iron tables with chairs around and fairy lights hung from above. He made his way toward the table farthest away.

The dark-haired girl sitting at the table made Jude smile. He took one last drag of his cigarette before putting it out. He ran his fingers through his curls and walked over to her.

"Hey," he said. He did not have to yell. The sound of the band was well blocked out by the bar's thick brick exterior. "I'm glad you came to meet me here."

"Well, we need to talk, so I really didn't have a choice," said Malia. Her long dark hair had been straightened and she was wearing a white lace tank under a dark purple faux leather jacket.

Her first week of her junior year of college had been total, unrelenting chaos.

She first had to start off the week, even before classes started, trying to hunt down the professor in charge of  admitting students into the Honors Program at Emory University for creative writing.

Somehow her application or a part of it was missing or lost and she was not accepted.

She would have known about this nightmare sooner had her little brother not been messing with the mail all summer. He had hid random letters all over the house. She found the letter from her school on the floor of the laundry room, one of its corners peeking out from underneath the dryer.

She ran from building to building, speaking with so-and-so who told her to go speak with another so-and-so, pleading her case, up and down.

Finally, earlier this morning, she had gotten the news that she was accepted, but only because another student backed out last minute.

She should have felt a huge weight lift off her shoulders, but she still had an even heavier one on them.

A couple of days ago, when her acceptance into the Honors Program was up in the air, she was in a deep funk and made some really bad decisions.

Jude pulled out a chair and sat down. He rested his phone and pack of cigarettes on the table. He went ahead and lighted another cigarette and leaned back against the chair. He was wearing a navy blue shirt with the short sleeves rolled up over his upper arms. His thumb swooped under his sleeve to scratch at the skin covered with the tips of feathers of a raven's wing.

He waited for her to speak again because he really did not know what to say. He was lost about their situation and he was ready to just deal with whatever came his way. He took a drag from his cigarette and looked into Malia's eyes.

She sat there for longer than she had wanted to, just looking into his dark chocolate colored irises.

Those eyes completely melted her the other night.

She did not realize how hot the burn would be the next morning, nor how painful. It left a large blister on her heart and a storm of fire in her head she could not put out.

"Look, whatever happened the other night, can't ever happen again." She made careful use of her words. She wanted to be as clear as possible.

"Okay." Was all Jude said.

"I can't be the only one hurting here, am I? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Nothing. It happened. We can't erase it. Bad things happen all the time. In the whole scheme of things, what we did really wasn't that bad of a thing, far worse things happen every--"

"That's enough. That's bullsh*t and you know it, Jude." Tears started to come up in Malia's eyes.

Her sensitive nature, that she always tried to cover up,  was starting to take over. She may have looked like a tough girl and acted like a tough girl who was always down for having a good time with her friends and guys, but she had crossed the line with Jude.

It pained her heart to think of Rachel. It really hurt her. It killed her.

Wednesday night, before Jude had driven to Rachel's apartment, he was outside Brock's waiting for one of his older friends to come and join him so that he could have some drinks inside.

His friend never showed up and he was pissed off. He tore his jacket off and sat on the curb several feet away from the doors to the bar. He was just about to put out his cigarette and hop in his Falcon and go home and watch Netflix, but then he saw a pretty girl walk past him, with long dark hair, giggling on her cell phone, her head tilted back in sweet laughter, her dimples deep and her smile magnetic.

"Calm down, alright," Jude said, placing his hand on hers on the table. She snatched her hand back and looked away from him. The tears were starting to roll down her face. He balled his hand into a fist and leaned back into this chair.

Jude's eyes glistened underneath the streetlight as she came into full view.

"Malia?" He got up from the curb.

"Jude?" Malia smiled.

She looking ridiculously hot. She was wearing a form fitting black dress with cut-outs at the chest and back. She had strappy nude heels on and her hair was up in a high, tight ponytail. Her eyes were smoky and Jude's mind was beginning  to fog at the sight of her.

"What are you doing in town tonight?" He asked, crossing his arms in front of him. He had on a v-neck long sleeved charcoal grey shirt, that fit perfectly. His eyes looked a little sleepy and they only added to his appeal.

"Oh, it's a long story. Basically, I wanted to sleep over at my mom's for the night. I had to talk with her about some stuff that's going on at school."

"Oh, yeah? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. How are you and Rachel?"

He let out a strained sound and answered, "I'm not quite sure how we are, to be honest."

"Hey, let's go inside, have a couple drinks, and talk, okay?"

"Yeah. That sounds good."

"Things don't have to be this way. Rachel is such a sweet girl. Maybe she'll be underst--"

Malia cut him off, surprised by how the sound of his voice made her skin crawl.

That was a new feeling she knew she had to hold on to and not let go of. If anything was ever going to be right in her world again, she had to do that. Hold on to her repulsion.

Malia had just finished her third vodka tonic with lime. Jude recommended that they order some buffalo wings and fries, but Malia told him she wasn't hungry.

She blew at the long strands of her bangs that hung over her high cheekbones and wearily rested her chin in her hand, her arm propped up, a little askew, on the wet table. She had spilled a little of her drink.

"Hey. I'll go and order us a basket of fries, at least, alright?" Jude leaned toward her.

He did not feel like drinking much that night. Malia had this way about her that put him in a great mood. He was smiling, ear to ear.

"I know how girls get sometimes. You all blow things out of proportion. It's really not that big of a deal. Rachel and I were only dating. We weren't committed to each other."

Jude hoped Malia would see things from his side.

"Ugh!" Her wet eyes looked at him in disgust. "Rachel is my best friend. Of course what happened is a big deal! Jude, do even have a best friend? Do you know how something like this feels?"

He did have a best friend once.

They were close as kids. But they got older and things changed. Their relationship changed and it was never the same again.

He was quiet.

He did not want to talk about that part of his past tonight. That whole time was dark and confusing. It pained him to think of it.

"You're incredibly gorgeous, you know that?"

"What did you say?" Malia playfully shouted over the music.

"I said you are incredibly gorgeous!"

"Yeah! I'm hot! Woooooo!" Malia rose her toned arms up into the air and her hands danced in the air like serpents above Jude's head.

He stared at her in pure wonder. He took a swig of his beer and lunged toward her.

"What are you--" Malia tried to back away but he had pinned her to the wall behind them.

His kiss came on heavy and passionate. His lips were soft and expectant, almost nervous and lost.

Malia gave up for only a second just to see what it felt like to kiss him and then it was much too late. She had a taste and she needed more.

Malia's face was wet with tears. She shut her eyes and thought of what happened between her and Jude. In the moment, it was bliss. She was in the arms of a man she had only ever dreamed of.

She was scared about what would happen to her at school. All of her hopes were wrapped up into that Honors Program and the fear of not being accepted left her yearning Jude's acceptance.

Jude sat quietly. He could hear his name called out to him in the distance. He turned around and saw his friend, Adam.

Adam made his way to their table, with two shot glasses in his hands.

"Hey, man," he said to Jude. Adam was just as tall as Jude but with thick dirty blonde hair that went down to the middle of his back. When he waited on tables he knotted it up into a tight bun and secured it at the nape of his neck. He was jovial and kind. He was very late.

"Where have you been?" Jude asked his friend.

Adam noticed the beautiful girl with red lips crying. It made him uncomfortable and he put his eyes back on Jude's.

"Everything alright here?" he asked, a little worried.

"Yeah. Everything's fine. Hey, can you get me a rum and coke, please?" Jude handed Adam some money and then Adam headed back into the building toward the bar.

"You drink too much," Malia said flatly.

"Why would you care. You want to pretend as if nothing happened between us. Why do you care what I do?"

"You are so heartless, Jude. I can't stand it."

"I told you how I felt about you. And I still feel the same way." He thought he noted a change in her eyes, but it must've been just her tears mixed in with the glimmer from the fairy lights above them. He looked down onto his hands on the table and sighed.

"Is it all right if we get out of here?" Malia asked. Her head was fuzzy with vodka and the smell of Jude. The woods at midnight.

Jude held her hand, steadied her, and they walked out of the bar and out to the street.

He grabbed onto her waist, hungrily, and pulled her to him.

They indulged in a lengthy lip-lock beneath the same streetlight he had first seen her laughing. Her face was radiant and unashamed. Her eyes were expressive and deep. They had stories in them that he wanted to be told.

In this moment, he wanted her and needed her so much more.

They rocked over to his Falcon, in each other's arms, not a trace of air separating them.

He got his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. They giggled and looked into each other's eyes before entering the car. There was an unspoken understanding in their eyes. How could anything be wrong when it felt like this?  When it felt so right, as if it were meant to be.

No matter how many times Malia tried to take the images out of her head, they still lingered there. She was beginning to feel sick to her stomach. She had to leave.

Malia swung her purse over her shoulder and got up to leave. Jude stopped her by holding her hand.

"Wait. Don't you want to hear what I have to say?" he asked.

"I don't really see the point in it now, Jude. Our conversation was going nowhere. And it's really late. It's almost midnight. I should get back to my mother's. She'll worry about me."

"Sit down, please."

Adam came over with Jude's drink. He did not stay at the table, though; he went to go play pool inside with a buddy he had spotted in there earlier.

Something in Jude's eyes made Malia want to sit, so she did.

She listened quietly. She braced herself.

She waited to hear the things she always wanted a guy like him to say to her, just not in this way.

Not after what had happened.

"I know we took it too far," Jude began, "but it was inevitable really. All it took was one look and I knew I wanted you, Malia. One look. I was already with Rachel, yes, but after I saw you for the first time that night I felt something. Don't you sit there and lie to me and tell me you didn't feel the same way, too." She remained quiet. There was nothing for her to say. "Malia, I feel for you what I haven't felt for anyone in such a long long time. With you, I feel like I could start over."

Malia made a motion to leave again but he stopped her.

"Listen to me. I think I love you. I do. I love you, Malia. Please, don't leave me."

New tears began to stream down her face, more than before.

She looked down at her hands. Rachel had painted her nails just that past weekend. They were drinking white wine together and talking about how crazy she was over Jude. All the time Malia was wishing she was with Jude. All the time Malia was wishing one thing in her chaotic life could just go right for once.

"I can't, Jude. I can't be with you." Malia choked out her words between sobs. She could not be strong anymore. She was so tired.

It was only two days of holding the worst secret she had ever kept from any friend of hers, and it was agonizing. She had to free herself of it once and for all.

"No matter what I feel for you, Jude, I will always know that it began with a betrayal. I can't live with that. And I can't live with losing my best friend. I choose her. I choose Rachel."

With that she got up, held back the rest of her tears that were forcing their way out, and left Jude at the table, his head down in his hands, his shoulders trembling.

After a few moments, Jude jumped up from his seat and ran over to the side of the patio closest to the street. He could still see Malia's figure as she walked away beneath the streetlight.

He yelled out to her, "Malia! Malia!"

But she didn't turn around.

His hands gripped the black bars of the gate in front of him and squeezed harder as he yelled out her name again and again, tears forming in his dark eyes.

"Malia! Malia!"

Adam pried his friend's hands off  of the gate and sat him down at the nearest table. Another young man rushed over as well. He had brought a glass of ice water.

"Are you okay, man?" asked Adam.

Jude looked up into his friend's eyes and shook his head. His head darted back behind him. He couldn't see her anymore. It was all black now.

"She left me," Jude said, looking up at his friend and the other guy.

"She left me."

A/N:

OK!

I am going to keep this short because this turned out to be a long chapter, but sometimes a writer's gotta do what a writer's gotta do, write? Right?

This was hard to write.

I'm ready for the heat. I can take it.

Please vote and comment.
I swear I am a nice person.

Sometimes people make bad choices, and it doesn't make them bad people.

xo,
Leanne