When I wake up it takes me a moment to remember that I am not in bed with Hardin. The sun is shining through the bay window and I sit up quickly. As my eyes adjust I am convinced that I am going mad.

"Hardin?" I say quietly and wipe my eyes again.

"Hey." He says back. He really is here.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I snap. My heart aches already. He is sitting in the chair with his elbows on his knees.

"Tessa, we need to talk." He says, the bags under his eyes prominent.

"Have you just been watching me sleep?" I ask.

"No, of course not. I just came in here a few minutes ago." He says. I wonder if he had nightmares without me in bed with him. If I hadn't witnessed them myself I would think those were part of his games as well, but I remember holding his sweaty face between my hands and seeing the fear in his green eyes.

I stay silent. I don't want to fight with him. I just want him to go away. I hate that I don't actually want him to go away, but he has to.

"Can we talk?" He repeats and I shake my head. He runs both hands through his hair and takes a deep breath.

"I have to go to class." I tell him.

"Landon already left, I turned your alarm off. It's eleven already."

"You what!"

"You were up late and I thought you.." He begins.

"How dare you even.. just go." I am beyond angry that he would turn off my alarm, he knows how I am about missing classes, but the pain from his actions yesterday is still fresh and it overshadows the anger from him turning off my alarm but I can't show any weakness or he will pounce on it. He always does.

"You're in my room." he points out. I climb out of the bed, not caring if I am only in a t-shirt, his t-shsirt.

"You're right, I will go." I say, the lump in my throat is growing and the tears are threatening behind my eyes.

"No, I meant.. I meant you are in my room.. Why?" His voice bleak.

"I don't know.. I just.. I couldn't sleep.." I admit. I need to stop talking. "It's not really your room anyway, I have slept here just as many times as you have. Actually more now." I point out.

"Your shirt didn't fit?" He asks, his eyes focused on the white shirt. Of course he is making fun of me.

"Go ahead, tease me." I say, the tears pooling at the bottom of my eyes.

He makes eye contact with me but I look away.

"I wasn't teasing you." He stands up from the chair and takes a step towards me. I back away and raise my hands to block him. "Just hear me out, okay?"

"What else could you possibly have to say Hardin, we always do this. We have the same fight over and over, only worse each time. I can't do it anymore. I can't." I breathe.

"I said I was sorry for kissing her." he defends.

"That isn't what this is about, well that's part of it but there is so much more. The fact that you don't get that proves that we are wasting our time. You will never be who I need you to be, and I am not who you want me to be." I wipe my eyes as he looks out the window.

"You are who I want you to be." He says.

I wish I could believe him, I wish he wasn't so incapable of feelings.

"You're not." Is all I can say. I know he is aware that I am crying but I can't seem to stop myself. I have cried so many times since I met him and if I get tangled back into his web, this is how it will always be.

"I'm not what?"

"Who I want you to be, you do nothing but hurt me." I walk past him and cross the hall to the guest room to grab my bag. I hastily pull my pants up my legs and gather my things. Hardin's eyes follow my every move.

"Didn't you hear what I told you yesterday?" He finally speaks. I was hoping he wouldn't bring this up.

"Answer me." He says.

"Yea.. I heard you." I tell him, avoiding looking in his direction.

"And you have nothing to say about it?" His voice hostile.

"No." I lie. He steps in front of me. "Move." I beg.

He is dangerously close to me and I know what he is going to do as he moves in to kiss me. I try to back away from him but his strong hands pull me closer, holding me in place. His lips touch mine, his tongue tries to push through my lips but I refuse.

"Kiss me back, Tess." he demands.

"No." I push at his chest.

"Tell me you don't feel the same and I will go." His face inches from mine, his breath hot on my face.

"I don't." I tell him, it hurts to say the words but he has to go.

"Yes you do. I know you do." His tone desperate.

"I don't Hardin, and neither do you. You can't possibly think that I bought that?" I say and he lets go of me.

"You don't believe that I love you?" He gasps.

"Of course not, how stupid do you think I am?" I spit, he stares at me for a second before he opens his mouth and closes it again.

'You're right." he says.

"What?"

"You're right, I don't. I don't love you, I was just adding to the drama of the whole thing." He laughs lightly. I knew he didn't mean it, but that doesn't make his honesty hurt any less. A part of me, a larger part that I am willing to accept, hoped that he actually did.

He stands against the wall as I walk out of the room, my bag in hand as I reach the stairs.

"Tessa sweetheart, I didn't know you were here!" Karen smiles from the bottom of the stairs. Her smile fades as she notices my distressed state. "Are you okay? Did something happen?" She asks. The concern in her voice evident.

"No, I am okay. I was locked out of my room last night and I.."

"Karen." Hardin's voice says from behind me.

"Hardin! " Her smile slightly returns. "Would you two like something to eat, some breakfast? Well lunch, its noon." She smiles.

"No thank you, I was just going back to the dorms." I tell her.

"I will eat." Hardin says. She looks surprised as she looks at me and then back at Hardin.

"Okay great! I will be in the kitchen!" She tells him.

After she disappears, I head for the door.

"Where are you going?" He grabs my wrist. I struggle for a second before he releases it.

"The dorms, like I just said."

"You are going to walk?"

"What is wrong with you? You act like nothing is happening, like we haven't just been fighting, like you haven't done anything. You are seriously insane, I'm talking mental institution, medicated, padded walks insane. You say horrible things to me and then try to offer me a ride?" I can't keep up with him.

"I didn't say anything horrible actually, all I said was that I don't love you, which you claim you already knew. And secondly, I wasn't offering you a ride I was simply asking if you were going to walk back." His smug expression makes me dizzy. Why would he even come here to find me if he doesn't care about me? Doesn't he have anything better to do than torture me?

"What did I do?" I finally ask, I have been wanting to ask this for a while but I was afraid of his answer.

"What?"

"What did I do to make you hate me? You can have practically any girl you want and you continue to waste your time, and mine to find new ways to hurt me. What's the point? Do you dislike me that much?" I try to keep my voice down so Karen doesn't hear me.

"No, it's not that. I don't dislike you, Tessa. You just made yourself an easy target, its all about the chase right?" he smirks. Before he can say anything else Karen calls his name and  asks if he wants pickles on his sandwich. He walks to the kitchen and answers her, I walk out the door as I hear his boots against the hard wood floor.

I walk down the street to the bus stop, I have already missed so many classes lately I might as well miss the rest of the day and get a car. Luckily the bus pulls up minutes later and I find a seat in the very back.

"It's all about the chase right?" his words echo through my mind as I slump down in the seat. I think back to what Landon said about heartbreak, that if you don't love the person, they can't break your heart. Hardin repeatedly breaks my heart, even when I don't think there are any more pieces to break, I love him. I love Hardin.