Songs for this chapter are:

Reminder- Mumford and Sons

Lost without you- Adam Jensen

Fall asleep- Jars of Clay

Where I Stood- Missy Higgins

Hardin's POV.

"Wait here while we go inside. We will be back in less than five minutes so don't move this cab." I instruct the driver. He was late to pick me up in the first place, so he shouldn't mind waiting. Not that I'm complaining that he was late, otherwise I wouldn't have run into Tessa walking in the damn rain, alone.

She hasn't spoken a word since I pulled her into the cab and I'm too busy trying to reel my temper in to comment at the moment. Seeing her out here, in the dark and running from something.. running from Zed, drives my anger full force and it will be all too easy to give in to it.

I can't do that though. Not this time. This time, I will prove to her that I can control my mouth, my fists too. I got into this cab with her instead of smashing Zed's skull against the concrete. I hope she recognizes that, I hope that helps my case, even if by the slightest.

Tessa hasn't tried to escape yet and she didn't speak up when I told the driver to take us by her mum's to get her shit. That's a good sign. It's got to be. Her clothes are soaked, clinging to every inch of her body and her hair is matted to her forehead. She pushes the mess back with her hand, sighing when the unruly strands won't stay put. It takes every ounce of self-control not to reach over and tuck her hair behind her ears.

When the cab pulls up to the curb in front of Carol's driveway Tessa opens the door and walks across the yard. She doesn't flinch as the rain pours down on her, shielding her body, and nearly taking her from me. After reminding the driver to stay put, I rush behind her before the rain can separate us further.

I hold my breath, forcing myself to ignore the red truck parked in front of the house. I can't lose my temper. I have to show her that I can hold myself together and put her feelings before my own.

"Theresa, how many times are you going to do this? You're dragging yourself right back into something that you know isn't going to work." Carol is already running her mouth when I enter the living room. Zed is standing in the center of the living room, dripping water onto the floor. Tessa's fingers are pinching the bridge of her nose, a sign of pure distress, and once again, I struggle to keep my damn mouth shut.

It will only take one wrong word from me to make her stay here, to keep her hours away from me.

"Mother, can you please just stop? I'm not doing anything, I just want to leave here. Being here isn't helping anything and I have a job and classes in Seattle."

Seattle?

"You're going back to Seattle tonight?" Carol asks her daughter.

"Not tonight, but tomorrow. I love you mother and I know where you are coming from but I really just want to be close to my.. well," Tessa gazes at me, uncertainty clear in her gray eyes, "Landon. I want to be with Landon right now."

Ouch.

"I'll drive you," Zed opens his mouth.

"No you won't." I just can't stop myself from cutting in. I am trying to be patient and shit but this is too much. I should have barged in here, grabbed Tessa's bag and carried her out to the cab before Zed could so much as look at her.

The smirk on his face right now, that same fucking smirk he gave me only minutes ago, is taunting me. He's trying to push me, trying to make me snap in front of Tessa and her mum. He wants to play games with me, like he always, has but not tonight. I won't give him the satisfaction of being his pawn.

"Tessa, grab your bag." The mirrored scowl on both women's faces makes me reconsider my word choice. "Please, please grab your bag?" The sentence comes as more of a question but Tessa's hard expression softens and she pads down the hallway and turns into her old bedroom.

Carol's eyes move back and forth between Zed and I before she speaks, "what happened to make her run out into the rain? Which of you caused that?" Her glare is murderous, almost comical really.

"He did," the two of us answer like children. Carol rolls her eyes and turns to follow her daughter down the narrow hallway. I focus on Zed.

"You can go now." I know Carol can hear me, but honestly I don't give a fuck at this point.

"Tessa didn't want me to go, she was only confused. She came onto me, she begged me to stay here with her." He spits. I shake my head as he continues, "she doesn't want you anymore. You've spent your last dollar where she's concerned and you know it. You see how she looks at me, how she wants me."

I ball my fists, taking deep breaths to calm myself. If Tessa doesn't hurry out with her bag, the living room will be painted red by the time she returns.

She wouldn't kiss him, she wouldn't do that.

Visions from my nightmares swirl behind my lids, bringing me one step closer to my breaking point. His hands on her pregnant belly, her nails raking down his back.

She wouldn't do that. She wouldn't kiss him.

"This isn't going to work," I force the words out. "You aren't going to antagonize me into attacking you in front of her. Not again." Fuck, I want to. I want to so fucking bad.

"You've made it so easy for me," he smiles. "She told me how much she wants me, she told me less than a half hour ago." He glances down at his empty wrist as if he is checking the time on a watch. He's a dramatic motherfucker, always has been.

"Tessa!" I call her name from the living room to gage how many more seconds I have to tolerate him.

Silence fills the house, followed by the hushed voices of Tessa and her mum. I close my eyes momentarily, hoping that Carol hasn't convinced Tessa to stay in this shit hole of a town for another night.

"That drives you crazy, doesn't it?" He continues to goad me. "How do you think I felt when you fucked Sam? It was one thousand times worse than the petty jealousy you feel right now." He states, as if he could possibly fathom the depth of my jealousy toward him.

"I told you to shut the fuck up and leave. No one gives two fucks about you and Sam. She was easy, too fucking easy for my liking really, and that was that."

He takes a step toward me and I straighten my back, reminding him of one of my many advantages against him. "What? You don't like hearing about your precious Samantha?" It's my turn to fuck with him. His eyes turn dark, warning me to stop but I refuse. He has the fucking nerve to kiss Tessa and try to use her feelings as ammunition against me?

He obviously doesn't know that I have an entire arsenal up my fucking sleeve.

"Shut up," he snaps, pushing me further. I may keep my hands to myself this time, but my words will make more of an impact anyway.

"Why?" I glance down the hallway to make sure Tessa is still occupied by her mum. "You don't want to hear about the night I fucked her? I can barely remember it actually, she wasn't very memorable I suppose." I torture him with my words.

I knew how he was into her and at the time, I assumed their relationship would make her more of a challenge. The joke was on me when she ended up being more of a hassle than a toy. "I fucked her brains out though, I can assure you that. That must be why she pulled that pregnancy shit afterwards. You remember that, don't you?"

For a moment, a brief moment in time, I pause and consider how he must have felt when he found out. I try to remember what was going through my mind when I decided to pursue her. I knew they were dating, I heard her mention his name in the copy room at Vance and I was instantly intrigued. I had only known Zed for a few weeks and I thought it would be fun to fuck with him.

"You were supposed to be my friend." His pathetic words fall between us.

"Your friend? I barely knew you, it was nothing personal." I step closer and wrap my fist around the collar of his shirt. "Personal is what you're aiming for by fucking with Tessa. You know what she means to me, more than any office whore could ever mean to you."

I'm caught off guard when he pushes back, slamming me against the wall. Picture frames fall to the ground and Tessa and her mum rush into the hallway.

"Fuck you! I could have fucked Tessa too, she would have easily given herself to me tonight if you wouldn't have shown up!" His fist connects with my mouth and Tessa's shrieks in horror. The harsh taste of copper fills my mouth and I swallow the blood in a quick gulp before wiping my sleeve across my lips and chin.

"Zed!" Tessa scolds, rushing to my side. "Leave! Now!" She shoves her small fists against his chest and I grab ahold of her, gently putting space between them.

The pure satisfaction of Tessa hearing him speak of her that way makes me fucking ecstatic. This is what I've been warning her of all along. He has never been the sweet, innocent man she was deluded into thinking he was.

Granted, I do know that he has some feelings for her, I'm not completely blind to that, but his intentions were never pure. He just proved that to her and I couldn't be happier. I'm a selfish bastard, but I never claimed otherwise.

Without another word he walks out of the front door and out into the rain. Headlights flash through the front windows as he peels off and disappears down the street.

..

"Hardin?" Tessa's voice is soft and laced with exhaustion. We've been in the backseat of this cab for almost an hour without a single word between the two of us.

"Yeah?" My voice breaks and I clear my throat.

"Who's Samantha?"

I have been waiting for her to ask this question since we pulled away from her mum's house. I could lie to her, I could make up a bullshit story to make Zed look like the piece of shit he is, or I could be honest for once.

"She's a girl who had an internship at Vance. I fucked her while she was dating Zed." I decide not to lie, but regret the harsh words when Tessa flinches. "Sorry, I just want to be honest." I add in an attempt to soften the words.

"You knew she was his girlfriend when you slept with her?" She asks, staring straight into me in that way only she can.

"Yeah, I knew. That's why I did it." I shrug, ignoring the pinch of remorse threatening to surface.

"Why?" Her eyes search mine for a decent answer but I don't have one. I only have the truth. The filthy, fucked up truth.

"I have no excuse, it was just a game for me." I sigh, wishing I wasn't such a piece of shit. Not for Zed's sake, or Samantha's, but for this beautiful, sweet girl who even now, doesn't have a hint of judgment in her eyes as she looks at me, waiting for further explanation.

"You forget that I wasn't the same before I met you. I was nothing like the man you know. I know you think I'm fucked up now but trust me, you would hate me even more if you knew me then." I look away from her and out of the window, "I know it doesn't seem like it, but you really have helped me so much, you've given me a purpose, Tess."

I hear her sharp exhale of breath and I cringe at the thought of how my words must sound. Pathetic and insincere, I'm sure.

"And what's that purpose?" She timidly replies.

"I'm still trying to figure that out." I answer with the truth. "But I will figure it out so please try and stick around long enough for me to find the answer?" I ask of her.

She looks at me but stays quiet. I'm thankful for that, I don't think I could handle her rejection right now.

Tessa's POV.

I wake up to arms wrapping around my waist as I'm lifted out of the car. The white light on top of the cab reminds me of the night I've had. I take in my surroundings, panicking for a moment before realizing that we are in Ken's driveway.

"I would never take you back there." Hardin says into my ear, referring to his apartment. He knew what I was worried about even before the thought could form in my mind.

I don't protest as Hardin carries me up the driveway and into the house. Karen is awake, sitting in a chair by the window, a recipe book in her lap. Hardin places me on my feet and Karen stands, walking across the room to hug me.

"What can I get you? I made some caramel cakes, you'll love them." She smiles and wraps a warm hand around mine.

Hardin doesn't put up a fight when I follow Karen into the kitchen. "I'll take your bag upstairs." I hear him say.

"Is Landon asleep?" I ask his mother.

"I think so but I'm sure he won't mind if you wake him. It's still early." Karen smiles and places a small, caramel topped cake on a plate before I can stop her.

"No, it's okay. I'll see him tomorrow."

"I know this is terrible timing and I'm so sorry but I wanted to talk to you about something." Her warm brown eyes flash with concern and she waves for me to take a bite of the dessert as she pours two glasses of milk.

I nod for her to continue, my mouth full of the delicious cake. I couldn't eat earlier, I was too overwhelmed and the day has been too long.

"I know you have so much going on already so if you want me to leave you be, just tell me. I promise I understand, I just want your opinion on something and you're the only person who can help here."

Help with what?

"It's about Hardin and Ken," she adds. I choke on the cake and reach for the glass of cold milk. Does she know? Has Hardin said something?

Karen begins to pat my back, rubbing in circles as she continues, "Ken is so happy that Hardin has finally started to tolerate him. It makes him so happy that he is finally building a relationship with his son, he's always wanted that. Hardin is his biggest regret and it hurt me for years seeing him that way. I know he's made his mistakes, many, many, mistakes and I am in no way making excuses for those mistakes," her eyes fill with tears and she dabs at the corners with her fingers.

"Sorry," she smiles. "I'm a mess." she smiles and continues. "He isn't the same man now that he was then. He's had years of sobriety and therapy, years of reflection and remorse."

She knows. Karen knows about Anne and Christian. My chest tightens and my eyes fill too. "I know what you're going to say," I tell her. I feel for this family. I love them as my own and I feel for everyone in this family full of secrets, addictions, and regrets.

"You do? Landon told you about the baby? I should have known he would. Does Hardin know too?"

I choke again. After an awkward fit of coughs, I finally speak. "What? A baby?"

"So you didn't know," she softly laughs. "I know I'm much older than you would expect a pregnant woman to be but I'm only in my early forties and my doctor has ensured me that I'm healthy enough."

"A baby?" I repeat. I'm relieved that she doesn't know about Christian being Hardin's father but beyond surprised that she is pregnant.

"Yes," she smiles. "I was just as shocked as you are. Ken too, he's been so worried about me. Landon nearly had a breakdown, he knew of all my appointments but I didn't tell him what they were for so the poor thing thought I was sick. I felt terrible and I had to come clean. This wasn't planned," her eyes search mine. "But we are happy now that we've gotten over the initial shock of having another child so late in life."

My arms wrap around her and for the first time in days, I feel joy. I love Karen and I'm thrilled for her. This feels good.

I was beginning to worry that I would never feel this way again.

"This is amazing! I'm so happy for you two!" I gush and her arms tighten around my back.

"Thank you," she pulls back and kisses my cheek. "I'm worried about how this will make Hardin feel."

My joy for her is cut short and instantly replaced by worry for Hardin. His entire life has been a lie and he hasn't exactly handled the news well. The man he believed to be his father is now having another child and Hardin will be forgotten. Whether that's true or not, I know him well enough to know that's where his mind will go.

"Do you mind if I'm the one who tells him? If not, I understand." I ask her. I don't allow myself to think too far into this. I know that I'm blurring the lines here but if I'm leaving Hardin, I need to make sure I'm not leaving a mess behind.

That's an excuse, I'm reminded by the snarky voice in my head.

"No of course not, I was hoping you wouldn't mind. I know this puts you in a terrible position and I don't want you to feel obligated to get in the middle of this but I am afraid of how he will react if Ken is the one to tell him. You have a way with him that no one else does."

"It's fine, really. I will talk to him about it tomorrow." I assure her.

"Of course," she hugs me again. "Today has been a tough day for you, I'm sorry for bringing this up. I should have waited, I just want to avoid the news being a surprise to him. He's had a hard enough life already and I want to try to make things easier on him. I want him to know that he's a part of this family and we all love him so much, this baby won't change that."

"He knows," I promise her. He may not be willing to accept it, but he knows.

Footsteps reach the bottom of the stairs and Karen and I pull away from our emotional embrace. We both wipe our cheeks and I take another bite of the cake as Hardin enters the kitchen. He showered and changed his clothes. He's now wearing a pair of sweatpants, the legs of which are too short and the WSU logo stitched along his thigh is a dead giveaway that he's wearing Landon's clothing.

If we were in a different place, I would tease him about the pants, but we aren't. We are in the worst place, yet in the best place, it's all confusing and skewed. Then again, a healthy balance and order has never been a factor in our relationship, why would our breakup be any different?

"I'm going to bed. Do you need anything?" He asks, his voice rough and low.

"No, thank you though." I look up at him but he's staring at his bare feet.

"I put your stuff in the guest room, your room." He says and I nod. The insane, untrustworthy part of me wishes Karen wasn't in the kitchen with us but the rational, bitter and much larger, part of me is glad that she is. He disappears up the staircase and I say goodnight to Karen before following him.

I find myself outside of the room that I've spent some of the best nights of my life inside of. I raise my hand to the knob but quickly pull away as if the cold metal has burned my skin. This cycle has got to stop and if I give into every impulse, every fiber of my being that desperately craves to be close to him, I'll never make it out of this continuous loop of mistake after mistake, fight after fight.

I finally let out a breath as I close the guest room door behind me and turn the lock. I fall asleep wishing that I had known just how dangerous love could be. If I had known it would hurt this bad, if I had known the way it would rip me apart, then sew me back together, just to tear me into pieces again, I would have stayed as far away from Hardin Scott as I possibly could.

(After 3 has reached 206 million reads! That is absolutely incredible and I thank you all, each of you, so much. You've all been so supportive and incredible and you mean the world to me! Thank you so much for reading and voting and commenting. I read (almost) every comment and I love them all, they are the perfect blend of hilarious, meaningful, and lovely, so thank you again! I will be updating wed or Thursday, I'm not sure which day but I'm trying to give you guys more of a specific schedule now, ilysm! )