Songs for this chapter are:

 This time- John Legend

These four walls- Little Mix

Turning tables- Adele

Hardin's POV.

Her screams fill my ears, my empty chest, and finally rest somewhere inside of me that I wasn't quite sure I could reach anymore. Only she can, and always will.

"What are you doing here?" Noah jumps to his feet and tries to stand between me and the small bed like some fucking white knight designated to protect her, from me? She's still screaming, why is she screaming?

"Tessa, please." I'm not sure what it is I'm asking for but her screams turn to coughs and her coughs turn to sobs and her sobs turn to choking sounds that I simply can't handle. I take a cautious step toward her and she finally catches her breath.

"Tess, do you want him here?" Noah asks her. Her haunted eyes still rest on me, burning a hole into me that only she can fill. It's taking every ounce of self control to ignore the fact that he's here in the first place and he's really pushing it.

"Get her some water!" I tell her mum. She ignores me. I'm not leaving the room.

Tessa's head moves swiftly back and forth, denying me, triggering her protector.

"She doesn't know what she wants! Look at her!" I throw my hands in the air and ignore Carol's manicured nails digging into my arm. She's lost her shit if she thinks I'm going anywhere, doesn't she know by now that she can't keep me away from Tessa?

Only I can keep myself away from her, a stupid fucking idea that I can't seem to hold to.

"She doesn't want to see you and you would be best to leave," Noah stands in front of me. I don't give a fuck that he has seemed to grow in size and muscle mass since the last time I've seen him, he is nothing to me. He will soon learn why people don't bother to even attempt to come between Tessa and I, they know better and he will too.

"I'm not leaving." I turn to Tessa. She's still coughing and no one seems to care.  "Someone get her some god damn water!" I yell through the small room and the noise echoes from wall to wall. Tessa whimpers and pulls her knees to her chest.

I know she's in pain and I know that I shouldn't be here but I also know that her mum and Noah will never be able to truly be there for her. I know Tessa better than the two of them combined and I've never seen her this way, so surely neither of them will have a clue what to do with her while she's in this state.

"I'll call the police if you don't leave, Hardin. I don't know what you did this time but I'm sick of it and you have no place here. You never have and you never will." Carol's voice is low and threatening but I could give a fuck less.

I ignore the two intruders and take a seat on the edge of Tessa's childhood bed. Much to my horror, she scrambles away again, this time using her hands behind her back and falls to the floor. I'm on my feet in seconds to bring her into my arms. The sounds she makes when my skin touches hers is even worse than the horrified screams that sounded from her minutes ago.

 "Get off of me!" A broken scream leaves her dry lips and slices clear through my chest. Her small hands pound at my chest and claw at my arms, trying to break my hold on her.

As much as it kills me to see her so desperate to get away from me, I'm honestly so fucking happy to see her react at all. The mute Tessa was the worst for me and her mum should be thanking me that I brought her out of that phase in her grief.

"Get off!" Tessa screams again and Noah begins to protest behind me. Her hand hits my solid cast and she cries out again. "I hate you!" Her words burn me but I still hold her flailing body in my arms.

"You're making things worse!" Noah's deep voice breaks through Tessa's screams and she goes mute again and does the worst thing she could do to my heart. Her hands break free of me, it's harder than hell to hold her with one hand, and she reaches for Noah. Tessa reaches for Noah to help her because she can't stand the sight of me.

I let go of her immediately and she rushes into his arms. One of his arms hooks around her waist and one rests at the base of her neck, pulling her head to his chest. Fury wrestles with sense and I'm fighting my hardest to stay calm with his hands on her. If I touch him, she will hate me even more.

Fuck, why did I come here in the first place? I should have stayed away, just like I had planned. Now that I'm here I can't seem to force my feet out of this god damn room and her cries only trigger my need to keep her near. I can't fucking win for losing and it's making me crazy.

"Make him go," Tessa sobs into Noah's chest.

I find myself in Carol's kitchen filling a glass with water. It's harder than I thought to do everything only using one hand. The huffing woman behind me is grating my nerves so I turn to face her, waiting for her to tell me she called the police.

"I don't care about the trivial shit right now, go ahead and call the police or do whatever you have to do but I'm not leaving this shit hole of a town until she talks to me." I take a drink from the glass and cross the small but immaculate kitchen.

"How did you get here, you were in London." Carol's voice is hard.

"I got on a damn plane, that's how,"

"Just because you fly across the world doesn't mean you have a place with her. She made that clear, why won't you leave her? You're only hurting her and I won't continue to stand around and allow it." She seethes.

"I know you don't like me but I love her. I make mistakes, way too fucking many of them but Carol, if you think I'm going to leave her with you after she found her dead father, you're crazier than I thought."

"She will be fine," her mum coolly remarks. "People die and she will get over it!' Her voice is raising now and I hope that Tessa can't hear her mother's cold remark.

"You're serious? She's your fucking daughter and he was your husband..." I trail off, remembering the two weren't actually legally married. "She's hurting and you're being a heartless bitch, that's exactly why I won't leave her here with you. Landon shouldn't have let you come get her in the first place!" it's my turn to raise my voice.

"Let me? She's my daughter."

"Maybe you should act like it then and try to be there for her!" The glass in my hand shakes and the water laps over the side and onto the floor.

"Be there for her?" Her emotionless voice cracks and I'm shocked when the woman who I was convinced was made of stone, crumbles and leans against the counter to keep herself from falling to the floor. "I didn't see that man for years," tears roll down her heavy made up face, despite the fact that it's almost five in the morning.

"He left us! He left me after making promise after promise of a good life!" Her hands swipe across the counter, knocking jars of utensils to the floor. "He lied, he lied to me and he left Tessa and ruined my entire life! I could never even look at another man after Richard Young and he left us!" She screams. In this moment she looks so much like the girl I love that I can't bring myself to push her away when she grasps onto my shoulder and digs her head into my chest, sobbing and screaming.

Not knowing what else to do, I wrap one arm around her and stay silent. "I wished for this, I wished he would die." She admits through her tears, I can hear the shame in her voice. "I used to wait for him, I used to tell myself that he would come back for us. For years I did this, and now that he's dead, I can't even pretend anymore."

We stay this way for a long time, her crying into my chest, telling me that she hates herself because she's glad that he's dead. I can't find words to comfort this woman but for the first time since I met her, I can see the broken woman behind the mask.

Tessa's POV.

"I'm going to get you something to drink. You need food too." Noah sits me down on the bed and tries to walk away. My fists wrap around his shirt and I shake my head, begging him not to leave me alone.

"You'll get sick if you don't eat something soon," he sighs but I know I've won the battle. Noah has never been one to hold his ground. The last thing I want is something to drink or to eat. I only want one thing, for him to leave and never come back. "I think your mom is giving him an earful," Noah attempts a smile but fails. I hear her yelling and something crashes in the distance but I refuse to let Noah leave me alone in the room.

If I'm left alone, he will come in here. That's what he does, he preys on people when they are at their weakest. Especially me, who has been weak since the day I met him.

I lay my head back on my pillow and block out everything, my mother screaming, the deep accented voice yelling back at her, and even Noah's comforting whispers in my ear. I close my eyes and drift between nightmares and reality, trying to decide which is worse.

...

When I wake up again the sun is bright through the thin curtains tacked over the windows. My head is pounding, my mouth is dry, and I'm alone in the room. Noah's tennis shoes are on the floor and after a peaceful moment of confusion, the weight of the last twenty hours knocks the breath out of me and I bury my face in my hands.

He was here.

"Tessa," his voice startles me and I refuse to look up at him as he enters the room. Why is he here? Why does he think he can toss me aside then swoop back in when it's convenient? It's not happening anymore. I've already lost him and my father and I don't need either loss shoved in my face right now.

"Get out." I hold my ground and try to hide the shiver that passes over me when I feel the bed shift under his weight.

"Have some water," a cold glass is pressed against my hand and I swat it away. I don't even flinch when I hear it fall to the floor. "Tess, look at me." His hands are icy, his touch almost foreign, and I jerk away from him.

As much as I want to crawl into his lap and let him comfort me, I don't. And I won't, not ever again. Even with my mind in the place it is now, I know that I won't ever let him in again. I can't and I won't.

"Here," Hardin hands me another glass of water from the bedside table. His name echoes in my mind. I didn't want to hear his name, not in my own head, that's the only place I am safe from him. "You'll drink some water," he softly demands.

I stay silent as I grab the cup from him and bring it to my lips. I don't have the energy to deny the water out of spite, and really, I need the water. I finish the entire glass within seconds, my eyes never leaving the wall.

"I know you're pissed at me but I just want to be here for you," he lies. Everything he says is a lie, always has been, always will be.

I stay quiet, a low snort coming from my mouth at his claim.

"The way you acted when you saw me last night," I can feel his eyes on me but I refuse to look at him. "the way you screamed..Tessa, I've never felt pain like that-"

"Stop it." I snap, my voice doesn't sound like my voice and I begin to wonder if I'm even awake right now or if this is another nightmare.

"I just want to know that you're not afraid of me. You aren't, are you?"

"This isn't about you." I manage to answer him. It's true, this is about my father's death and the fact that I can't take anymore heartache.

"Fuck," he sighs and I just know that he's running his hands over his hair. "I know it's not. That's not what I meant. I'm worried about you."

I close my eyes and I don't respond. He's worried about me? If he was so worried about me maybe he shouldn't have sent me back to America alone. I wish I wouldn't have made it home, I wish something would have happened to me on my way so he could deal with the loss of me, then again, he probably wouldn't want to be bothered. He would be too busy getting high.

He continues, "you aren't yourself, baby." I begin to shake at the use of the sick nickname. "You need to talk about this, everything with your dad. It will make you feel better." His voice is too loud and the rain is pounding against the old roof. I wish it would just cave in and sweep me away with the rain.

Who is this man sitting here with me? I sure as hell don't know him and he doesn't know what he's talking about. I should talk about my father? Who the hell is he to sit here and act like he cares about me, like he could help me? I don't need help, I need silence.

"I don't want you here."

"Yes you do, you're just pissed at me right now because I acted like an asshole and I fucked up," he tries to explain himself.

The pain I should feel isn't there, nothing is. Not even when my mind flashes with the images of his hand on my thigh as we drive in his car, his lips gently sliding over mine, my fingers threading through his thick hair. Nothing.

I feel nothing as the pleasant memories are replaced with ones of fists flying through drywall and the woman he slept with only days ago. Nothing. I feel nothing and it feels so good to finally feel nothing, to finally have control over my own emotions. I'm realizing, as I stare at the wall, that I don't have to feel anything I don't want to feel. I don't have to remember anything if I don't want to, I can forget it all and never allow the memories to cripple me again.

"I'm not." I don't clarify the words and he tries to touch me again. I don't move, I bite my cheek, wanting to scream again but not wanting to give him the satisfaction. The calming ease that sweeps over me from his fingers on mine proves just how weak I am when it comes to him.

"I'm sorry about Richard, I know how-" he begins.

"No." I cut him off and pull my hand away. "No, you don't get to do this. You don't get to come here and pretend like you're here to help me when you're the one who has hurt me the most. I won't tell you again," my voice is flat, unconvincing and as empty as I feel inside. "Get out."

My throat hurts from speaking so much, I don't want to talk anymore. I just want him to go away and I want to be left alone. I focus on the wall again, not allowing my mind to taunt me with images of my father's dead body. Everything is messing with me, fucking with my mind and threatening the tiny bit of reason left inside of me. I'm grieving two deaths now, and it's tearing me apart piece by tiny piece.

Pain isn't remotely kind in that way, pain wants it's promised pound of flesh, ounce for ounce. It won't settle until you're left with nothing but a flaky shell of who you were. The burn of betrayal and the sting of rejection hurt, but nothing compares to the pain of being empty. Nothing hurts worse than not hurting at all and it makes no sense and perfect sense at the same time and I'm convinced I'm going fucking crazy and I'm actually okay with that.

"Do you want me to get you something to eat?" He asks me. Did he not hear me? Does he not understand that I don't want him here? It's impossible to think that he doesn't hear the chaos inside of my mind.

"Tessa," he presses when I don't respond. I need him to get away from me. I don't want to look into those eyes, I don't want to hear anymore promises that will be broken when he begins to let his self hatred take over again.

"Noah!" My throat burns when I yell his name and within seconds he's rushing through the bedroom door.

"I told you if she called for me, that was it." Noah stands in front of me and I finally spare a glance at Hardin. He's shooting bullets at Noah and I know he's trying hard to reign in his temper. There's something on his hand, a cast? I look again and sure enough, a black cast covers his hand and wrist.

"Let's get something clear," he stands to his feet and looks down at Noah. "I'm trying not to upset her and that's the only reason I haven't snapped your fucking neck, so don't push your luck." He threatens him and in my damaged, chaotic mind, I can see my father's head snapping back, jaw popping open. I  just want silence. I want silence in my ears and I need silence in my mind.

I start gagging as the image multiplies as their voices get louder, angrier, and my body begs me to release the contents of my stomach. The problem is that there's nothing inside of me, only water and so the acid burns when I vomit onto my old comforter.

"Fuck! Get out damn it," Hardin shoves at Noah's chest with one hand and Noah stumbles back, bracing himself against the frame of the door.

"You get out! You're not even wanted here!" Noah fires back and pushes Hardin.

Neither of them notice as I stand from the bed and wipe the excess vomit from my mouth with my sleeve. I manage to make it out of the room, down the hall, and out the front door without either of them bothering to notice.

Hardin's POV.

"Fuck you!" My cast connects with Noah's jaw and rears back, spitting blood. He doesn't stop though, he charges me and knocks me to the floor.

"You son of a bitch!" He yells and I roll on top of him. If I don't stop now, Tessa will hate me even more than she already does. I can't stand this asshole but she cares for him and if I do any real damage to him she will never forgive me.

I manage to get to my feet and put enough distance between the fucking linebacker and myself. "Tessa," I turn to the bed and my stomach drops when I find that it's empty. The wet stain from her vomiting is the only evidence that she was there at all. Without a glance at Noah, I stalk down the hallway calling her name. How could I be so stupid? When will I stop being such a fuck up?

"Where is she?" Noah asks from behind me.

Carol is still asleep on the couch. She hasn't moved from the spot I laid her in last night after she fell asleep in my arms. The woman may hate my fucking guts but I couldn't deny her comfort when she needed it.

To my horror, the screen door is open and hanging on the hinges, blowing back and forth in the wind from the storm. Two cars are parked in the driveway, one Noah's and one Carol's. The hundred dollar cab ride I took here from the airport was worth the time I would have wasted going all the way to my father.. Ken's house for my car. At least Tessa hasn't tried to drive anywhere.

"Her shoes are here," Noah picks up one of Tessa's flimsy shoes and tosses it back to the floor. Blood is smeared across his chin and his blue eyes are wild, filled with worry.

Tessa is walking around alone in the middle of a massive storm because I let my fucking ego take over. Noah returns from searching her room again, her purse in his hand. She has no shoes on, no money, and no phone. She couldn't have gone far, I was only distracted for a minute or two. How could I let my temper distract me from her?

"I'll get in my car and check around the block." He pulls his keys from the pocket of his jeans and walks out of the door. He has the advantage here, he grew up on this street, he knows this place and I don't. I look around the living room and then walk to the kitchen. I glance out the window and realize that I have the advantage, not him. He may know the town, but I know my Tessa and I know exactly where she is.

The rain is still coming down in large, unforgiving needles as I take the back porch in one step and cross the grass to the small greenhouse in the corner, hiding between a cluster of swaying trees. The metal door is cracked open, proving my instincts right and I find Tessa huddled on the floor, dirt covering her jeans and her bare feet layered in mud. Her knees are pulled to her chest and her shaky hands are covering her ears. It's a heartbreaking sight to see my strong girl reduced to a shell in front of me. Pot after pot of dirt lines the poor excuse for a greenhouse, it's obvious that no one has been in here since Tessa left home. There are a few cracks in the ceiling, sending streams of rain down in random spots across the greenhouse.

I don't say anything, I hope she can hear the sloshing of my boots against the mud covering the floor. When I look down again I see that there is no floor after all. That explains all the mud. Taking her hands away from her ears, I lean down to force her eyes to mine. She thrashes away like a cornered animal and I flinch at her reaction but keep my grip on her hands.

She digs her hands into the mud and uses her legs to kick at me. The moment I let go of her wrists, she covers her ears again, a terrible whimper falling from her full lips.

"I need quiet," she begs, slowly rocking back and forth. I have so many things to say, so many words to throw at her in hopes that she will listen to me and come out of hiding within herself, but one look into her desperate eyes and I lose them all.

If she wants quiet, I will give her that. Fuck, at this point I will give her anything and everything she wants as long as she doesn't force me to leave.

And so I move closer to her and we sit on the muddy floor of the old greenhouse. The greenhouse that she used to hide away from her father, the greenhouse that she's now using to hide from the world, to hide from me.

We sit here as the rain pounds against the tin roof. We sit here as her whimpers turn to quiet sobs and she stares into the empty space in front of her, and we sit in silence with my hands over her small fingers covering her ears, blocking her from the noise around us, giving her the silence she needs.

(please vote! Thank you for 160 million reads on After 3!! I love reading all your amazing comments and I'm so thankful for you all! I love that (majority of you) say that the story gets better as I go, that's an incredible compliment to me and It means a lot! How is your week going? Mine is good, I love you all!)