The songs for this chapter are:

You- The 1975

She is- The Fray

Boston- Augustana

Emma- Bon Iver

Hardin's POV.

I attempt to pull her nearly naked body even closer to me as she deepens the kiss. Her hands grip my arms and I guide my hand down between her thighs.

No point in wasting any time here.

"Should have taken them off," I remind her, tugging at the side of her thin, soaked panties.

She laughs a breathless laugh before sucking in a sharp breath when my fingers enter her. Her moans are cut off by my mouth against hers, she pulls my bottom lip between hers and I nearly lose it at that. She's so fucking sexy and seductive and she doesn't even fucking try.

When she begins to rock her hips, pushing herself onto my hand, I grip her waist with my free hand and move her from my lap. Her body rests on the plastic seat, her legs spread wide open, my fingers still pleasing her.

These fucking panties are getting on my nerves.

She pouts when I remove my fingers from her and hook them around her panties, tugging them down as quickly as possible and toss them into the water beside her. The jets carry them to the other side of the tub and she grabs my wrist to force me to touch her again.

"What do you want?" I press, wanting to hear the words from her.

"You," she smiles sweetly then spreads her legs further showing how dirty she really is.

I give her what she wants and I'm rewarded with her hand gripping around me.

"Turn around," I tell her.

Without giving her a chance to respond, I turn her body around and she yelps.

I panic for a moment but I quickly realize that she's directly lined up with the jets. Of course she's yelping, she'll be fucking screaming in a minute.

I kneel behind her, I love taking her this way, I can feel so much more of her, I can touch the creamy skin on her back and pay attention to every muscle moving under her skin, watch every breath she fights for as I rock into her.

I move her long hair to the side and move closer, slowly pushing into her. Her back arches into me and I grip her chest in my hands as I begin to move in and out of her slowly. Fuck it feels so damn good, better than usual.

It has to be the hot water pushing around us as I inch in and out of her. She moans and I reach down to make sure she's still being hit with the jets. Her eyes are screwed shut and her mouth is wide open. Her knuckles are nearly white from gripping the edge of the tub.

I want to move faster, to pound into her but I force myself to stay at this slow, torturing pace.

"Hardin," she moans.

"Fuck, it's like I can finally feel every inch of you," the moment I say the words, I panic and pull away from her.

A condom.

I didn't even think to use a fucking condom.

What has she done to me?

"What's wrong?" She pants, a thin layer of moisture covers her face.

"I don't have a condom on!" I run my hands over my wet hair.

"Oh," she says calmly.

Oh?

"Oh? What do you mean oh?"

"So put a condom on?" She suggests.

"That's not the point!" I stand from the tub.

She doesn't say anything.

"If I wouldn't have thought about it, you could have gotten pregnant." I remind her.

"Okay, but you did remember."

Why is she so calm about this?

She has this grand plan to move to Seattle, a baby would definitely fuck that up.

"Is that your plan or something? If I get you pregnant you think I'll go with you?" I sound like a fucking conspiracy theorist but it does make sense.

"You aren't serious," she turns around, laughing, and tries to wrap her arms around me but I move out of the way.

"I am,"

"Come on, that's insane. Come here," she tries again but I dodge her, moving to the opposite side of the Jacuzzi.

Hurt flashes as clear as a god damned neon sign across her face, and she covers her boobs with her hands.

"You're the one who forgot about a condom and now you're saying that I'm trying to trap you by getting pregnant?  Listen to yourself." She shakes her head in disbelief.

It wouldn't be the first time some crazy bitch did that.

But this isn't some random crazy bitch, this is Tessa. What the hell is wrong with me?

I'm fucking paranoid.

"I'm going to take a shower," she says, her eyes glossy as she stands from the water and climbs out of the tub.

I watch as she disappears into the bedroom, slamming the doors out of anger as she goes.

"Fuck!" I yell, hitting at the bubbling water, wishing it could hit me back.

My guilt over this Seattle shit is causing me to lose my fucking mind, what's left of it anyway.

I have to fix this, or at least try to. I owe it to her, especially after I just accused her of the dumbest shit possible. She had nothing to do with me forgetting a condom, well she distracted me by getting naked and climbing into the water with me, but I should have remembered.

In a twisted way, I almost wish I wouldn't have remembered at all.. no I don't. I just don't want her to leave me and I don't know what else to do to get her to stay. A baby isn't the answer, that's for damn sure.  I've done everything I possibly can except locking her in the apartment. An idea that's actually crossed my mind a few times but I don't think she would like that too much.

Most people wouldn't.

I need to go inside and apologize for embarrassing her and being a dick to her before the entire gang returns. Maybe I'll get lucky and they will get lost in the woods for a few hours and I'll get some peace and fucking quiet with Tessa, take away the quiet.

I should have known calling Sandra was a bad idea. I just didn't know what else to do to get her to let Seattle go and go to England with me. That woman kept blowing Tessa's phone up when she was in the shower,  I really didn't have a choice whether to talk to her or not. I had to answer her phone.

I had to tell her that Tessa was no longer employed and she may or may not be a reliable renter. I had to tell her that Tessa has skipped out on a few apartments without paying. I had to tell her not to call her or return any of her calls. None of my false information made any fucking sense at all but I guess Sandra just didn't want the drama that came along with Tessa.

I wasn't thinking about what she would do when she found out and I sure as hell wasn't thinking about where she would live if she didn't change her mind. I thought being the control freak that she is, she would postpone her trip if she didn't have anywhere to stay.

Way to fucking go Hardin.

I climb out of the hot tub and walk into the room, it's cold as hell now that I'm only wearing soaked boxers.

I glance back and forth between my phone and the bathroom door connected to our room. I can either go in there and apologize to her before fucking her into the shower wall, or I can call Sandra and see if I can clean up the mess I made, without Tessa's help for once.

I grab my phone and a blanket from the back of the chair before stepping back out onto the balcony.

I scroll through my contacts and find the name Samuel, real fucking clever decoy there. I don't know why I saved this woman's number anyway, I guess I knew somehow I'd get tangled in a fucking web and have to call the bitch back. I changed the name in case Tessa went snooping through my shit, which I knew she would.  I thought she caught me before when she asked about my deleted history and heard me yelling at Molly on the phone but she didn't. I'm sure she'd rather see the realtor than Molly on my call log any way.

"Sandra Kennedy," the pretentious woman answers the phone.

I can barely hear her.

"Hello?" she says and I put her on speaker phone and sit the phone on the chair while I wrap the small blanket around my waist.

"My name is Hardin Scott, I spoke to you last week about my... friend Tessa Young who was interested in an apartment of yours," I say.

"Yes, I remember." I can literally hear her rolling her eyes.

"Okay, well do you still have that apartment?"

"No, I don't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I'm a realtor and it's my job to fill empty apartments,"

"Do you have any more apartments to fill?" I try to sound as polite as possible, despite the fact that I want to cuss her ass.

"You gave me the impression that your friend Tessa was not someone I should be wasting my time giving an apartment to, if she can't pay me, I can't give her a place to live." Sandra says.

"Here's the thing.. she isn't as bad as I made her out to be, she hasn't actually trashed any apartments or left without paying," I begin to explain.

"You sick, selfish, bastard," Tessa's voice startles me and I jerk back, knocking my phone off of the ledge and onto the wooden flooring.

"Hello?" Sandra's voice calls loudly through the speaker.

I reach down and grab my phone and shut it off before looking back up at Tessa.

"How could you? How could you do that?" She begins to yell.

"I.." I don't know what the fuck to say.

"No! Don't even waste my time with  an excuse! What the hell were you thinking?" She walks back into the cabin and I chase after her.

"Tessa, listen to me,"

I'm a fucking asshole, that's what's wrong with me.

"No! You listen to me Hardin," she says through her teeth, her voice low, "I'm so sick of this, I'm sick of you trying to sabotage everything in my life that doesn't revolve around you!" Her voice is definitely not low anymore.

"That's not what I.."

"Shut up! Shut the hell up, you're the most selfish, arrogant, you're just.. ugh!" She nearly screams, her hands flying into the air.

"I don't know what I was thinking, I was trying to clear it up just now,"

"Exactly, this is exactly what I'm talking about. You're always doing something, you're always hiding something, you're always finding new ways to try to control every single thing I do and I can't take it anymore! This is too much," she paces back and forth across the room and I stand in place, watching her lose her temper.

"I can handle you being a little overprotective and I can handle you getting in a fight now and then, hell, I can even handle you being a complete asshole half the time because deep down I always knew you were doing what you thought was best for me but not this. You're trying to ruin my future and I won't fucking have it."

"I'm sorry,"

"You're always fucking sorry! It's always the same shit, you do something, hide something, say something, I cry, you say you're sorry and bam! All is forgiven, not this time." She grabs a pillow from the bed and throws it to the floor.

Okay..

I know she's right and I know she's pissed, maybe more pissed than I've seen her before so I keep my mouth shut.

"I'm sick of the endless cycle, I've told you before and you don't listen. You find new ways to continue the cycle and I'm done, I'm so fucking done!" She throws another pillow to the ground and I can't help but think of how different we really are.

"Done with me?"

"Did I say that?"

"You said you're done," my voice betrays me, cracking at the end.

"I said I'm done with this cycle, I'm so fucking exhausted and I can't stand it. I can't keep doing this like this! You were going to let me move to Seattle without anywhere to live just to try to force me not to go!" She yells. No tears are falling from her eyes and that makes me nervous.

I don't say anything, I need to let her get her anger towards me out.

The soft noise of the pillows hitting the ground is such a contrast to the pounding of my fists against drywall when I'm angry. This is us personified, she's the silence, the muted beautiful noise, and I'm a fucking sledgehammer, destroying everything in my path.

"Get out!" She screams and another pillow hits the wall.

"No, I'm sorry okay, I.."

"Get the fuck out. Now." She turns to look at me with such poison in her eyes that my feet carry me to the door before my mind can catch up.