The ride up the elevator to our floor is silent. I'm too disappointed in Hardin to argue and he's too pissed at me to speak without screaming. He handled the news better than I thought he would but how could he make me choose? He knows how important Seattle is to me and he doesn't have a problem with me giving it up for him, that's what hurts me the most. He always says he can't be away from me, he can't live without me, yet he's giving me an ultimatum and it's not fair.

"If he took off with any of our shit.." Hardin begins.

"Enough," my exhaustion is heard through my soft dismissal.

"Just saying,"

I push my key through the lock and twist, momentarily considering the possibility of my father actually doing what Hardin had mentioned. I don't know the man, really.

The mild paranoia disappears when we walk through the threshold. My father's body is slumped over  the arm of the couch, his mouth wide open, deep snores escaping from his parted lips. 

Wordlessly, Hardin walks into the bedroom and I decide to go to the kitchen first. I need a glass of water and a minute to think about what my next step should be. The last thing that I want to do is fight with Hardin but I am beyond sick of him only thinking of himself. I know he has changed so much, tried so hard, but I have given him chance after chance resulting in an endless breakup-makeup cycle that would make even Catherine Earnshaw cringe. I don't know how long I can keep my head above water when I'm fighting off the tidal wave that we call a relationship, every time I feel like I am treading the water, I'm taken back under by yet another problem.

With a final drink of water, I put my glass in the dishwasher and head to the bedroom. My father is still snoring, I would find it amusing if my mind wasn't so preoccupied. Hardin is lying on his back, his arms tucked under his head as he stares at the ceiling.

"I got expelled," he breaks the silence. "In case you were wondering."

"I'm so sorry, I should have asked earlier,"

I thought for sure Ken could get his son out of this mess.

"You were otherwise occupied with Zed, remember?"

I sit on the edge of the bed, as far from him as possible and try my best to bite my tongue. It's a wasted effort.

"I was trying to find out about the charges against you, he says he is still.."

"I heard him, I was there remember?" He interrupts me.

"I have had enough of your attitude, I know you're upset but you need to stop being so disrespectful." I speak slowly, hoping the words sink in.

He's dumbfounded for a moment but he quickly recovers.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, stop talking to me like that."

"I'm entitled to be a little pissed off,"

"Yes, you are but you aren't entitled to be a jerk. I was hoping we could actually talk about this and work it out like adults, for once." I say.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He sits up but I keep my distance.

"It means that after six months of this back and forth I thought we could possibly solve a problem without one of us leaving or breaking things."

"Six months?" He may need help picking his jaw up from the mattress.

"Yes, six months. Well since we met."

"I hadn't realized it's been that long,"

"Well it has,"

"It doesn't feel like that long.."

"Is that a problem for you? We've been seeing each other too long?"

"No Tessa, it's just odd to think about I guess. I've never been in an actual relationship so six months is a long time."

"We haven't been dating the entire time, most of that time was spent fighting or avoiding one another." I remind him.

"How long exactly were you with Noah?" His question suprises me. We have had a few talks regarding my relationship with Noah, but they usually last less than five minutes, ending  abruptly because of Hardin's jealousy. 

"We were best friends since I can remember but only started dating half way through high school, I think we had been dating before then we just didn't realize it." I watch Hardin with careful eyes, waiting for a reaction.

Talking about Noah makes me miss him, not in a romantic way but in a way that you miss your family after not seeing them for an extended period of time. I wonder how everything with Rebecca is going? Is she still seeing him?

"Oh," He rests his hands on his lap, making me want to reach across and hold them.

"Did you fight?"

"Sometimes. Our fights were over things like what movie to watch or him being late to pick me up."

"Not like we fight then?" He doesn't look up from his hands.

"I don't think anyone fights like we do," I smile in an attempt to reassure him.

"What else did you do? With him, I mean," sitting in Hardin's place on the bed is now a small child,  green eyes bright, and hands nearly shaking.

"We didn't do much really, outside of studying and watching hundreda of movies. We were more like best friends, I guess."

"You loved him," the child reminds me.

"Not the way that I love you," I tell him again, just like countless times before.

"Would you give up Seattle for him?"

So this is why we are talking about Noah, Hardin's low self-esteem has once again taken his thoughts there, to that place where he compares himself to what or whom he thinks that I need.

"No,"

"Why not?"

"Because, I shouldn't have to choose at all and he always knew about my plans and dreams, so I wouldn't have had to choose."

"I don't have anything in Seattle," he sighs.

"Me, you would have me."

"That's not enough,"

Oh.

I turn away from him.

"I know that's fucked up, but its true. I have nothing there and you'll have this new job and you'll make new friends,"

"You would have a new job too, and we would make new friends together,"

"The people you would choose as friends are more than likely not going to be the same people I would choose,"

"You don't know that,  I'm friends with Steph."

"Only because you were roommates. I don't want to move there Tessa, especially now that I'm expelled. It makes more sense for me to just go back to England and finish university there."

"It shouldn't only be about what makes sense for you."

"Considering the fact that you went behind my back and saw Zed yet again doesn't exactly put you in any position to be calling the shots."

"Really? Because you and I haven't even established that we are together again, I agreed to move back in and you agreed to treat me better, you went behind my back and beat him up, resulting in your expulsion, so if anyone isn't in a position to call the shots, it's you." I stand from the bed and begin to pace across the concrete floor.

"You were hiding this from me! You've been planning to leave me and didn't tell me!" He raises voice.

"I know! I'm sorry for that but instead of arguing over who's the most wrong here, why don't we try to fix it or come to some sort of compromise."

"You... " he stops and stands from the bed, "You don't..."

"What?" I press.

"I don't know, I can't even think straight because of how pissed I am at you."

"I'm sorry for you finding out that way but I don't know what else to say,"

"Say that you won't go,"

"I can't."

"Tessa,"

"I'm not making that choice right now, I shouldn't have to."

"When then? I won't wait around.."

"What are you going to do then? Leave? What happened to I never wish to be parted with you from this day on?"

"Really? You're going to bring that up? You don't think an ideal time to bring up Seattle would be before I a fucking tattoo for you? The irony isn't lost on me," He steps closer to me, challenging me.

"I was going to!"

"But you didn't."

"How many times are you going to mention that? We can go back and forth all day but I really don't have the energy and I'm over it." I say.

"Over it? You're over it?" He half laughs.

"Yes, over it." It's true, I'm over fighting with him over Seattle. It's suffocating and frustrating and I've nearly had enough.

He grabs a black sweatshirt from the closet and pulls it over his head before slipping his boots on his feet.

"Where are you going?" I ask him.

"Away from here," he huffs.

"Hardin, you don't have to leave," I call as he opens the door.

He ignores me.

If my father wasn't in the living room, I would chase after him and force him to stay but honestly, I'm tired of chasing him.

Hardin's POV.

"Do you need a ride somewhere?" I ask Tessa's dad.

He's awake now, sitting on the couch with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Uhm yeah, is that okay?" He asks me.

I'm not thrilled with the idea of taking him anywhere but I sure as hell despise the idea of leaving him alone with her.

"Yeah," I quickly answer.

"Okay, I just want to say goodbye to her," he looks toward our bedroom.

"Fine, I'll be in the car." I tell him and head out the door.

I don't know where I'm going exactly but I know it's not good for either of us if I stay here. I'm so angry with myself, I know she's not the only one to blame here but she's easier to take it out on. I keep my eyes trained on the entrance to our apartment building waiting for Richard. If he doesn't come soon, I'll leave his ass here, that doesn't really work for me though because he'd be left alone here with her.

Finally, he steps through the doors and pulls down the sleeves on his shirt. I had expected him to wear my clothes that Tessa let him wear but he's not. He's dressed himself back into his dirty and worn clothing.

I turn the volume up on the radio as he opens the passenger door hoping that the music will halt any possible conversation he will try to make.

"She said to tell you to be careful," he says, buckling his seat belt.

I give him a small nod and pull onto the street.

She's probably confused by the idea of me taking her father home.. well not home obviously.

"How did your meeting go today?"

"Really?" I raise my brow at him.

"Just wondering, I'm glad she went with you."

"Okay.."

"She seems to be a lot like her mother,"

"The hell she is, she's nothing like that woman." Is he trying to get himself thrown out of my car and onto the highway?

"The good qualities only, of course," he laughs, "She's very headstrong just like Carol. She wants what she wants but Tessie is much sweeter, gentler."

Here we go with the Tessie bullshit again.

"I heard the two of you fighting, it woke me up,"

"Excuse us for waking you up at noon while sleeping on our couch," I roll my eyes and hear him chuckle.

"I get it man, you're angry at the world. I was too, hell I still am, but when you find someone who's willing to put up with your shit, you don't have to be so angry anymore."

Well what do you suppose I do when your daughter is the one making me so god damn angry?

"Look, I'll admit you aren't as bad as I thought you were but I didn't ask for your advice so don't waste your time giving it to me."

"I'm not giving you advice, I'm speaking from experience here. I'd hate to see the two of you end things."

We aren't ending things, dick. I'm just trying to get my point across, I want to be with her and I will be, she just needs to give in and come with me. I'm beyond fucking pissed that she would bring Zed into this shit again, regardless of her reasoning.

"You don't even know me, or her for that matter. Why would you care?" I turn the damn radio off.

"Because I know you're good for her,"

"Do you?" I scoff.

Thankfully we are getting closer to his side of town so this horrid conversation will be ending soon.

"Yes, I do."

I'll never admit it but it's actually sort of nice to have someone say I'm good for her, even if it's her drunk asshole of a father, I'll take it.

"Are you going to be seeing her again?" I ask, "and where exactly am I taking you?"

"Just drop me towards the shop where we met yesterday, I'll figure it out from there."

Great.

"And yes, I hope to be seeing her again. I have a lot of shit to make up for."

"Yeah, you do." I agree.

The shop parking lot is empty, it's not even one in the afternoon yet.

"Can you drive me to the end of this street?"

I nod and pass the shop, the only thing at the end of this street is a bar and a rundown laundry-mat.

"Thanks for the ride,"

"Yep,"

"Do you want to come inside?" Richard asks, nodding his head toward the small bar.

Getting a drink with Tessa's homeless drunk father doesn't sound like the most intelligent thing to do at the moment. However, I'm not known for making good decisions.

"Fuck it," I mumble and turn the car off and follow him inside.

The bar is dark and smells like mold and whiskey. I follow him to the small counter and sit down on a stool, leaving an empty seat between us.

"How can you afford to be a drunk if you don't work?" I ask him as a middle aged woman wearing what I pray to be her teenage daughters clothes, walks toward us.

"I clean the place every other day, so I drink for free." Shame is clear in his voice.

"Why not be sober then?"

The woman slides him a small glass filled with brown liquor and ice.

"And for you?" Her voice is raspy and deeper than mine.

"Same as him," Tessa's voice warning me not to do this is clear as a bell between my ears. I push it away, push her away.

"I don't know, I tried and tried. I'm hoping now it will get easier if I can see my daughter more often." He stares at his glass with hooded eyes and for a second they resemble mine, I can see a shadow of myself in them.

I nod, not even bothering to hit him with a snide remark, and wrap my fingers around my glass. It's cold and I welcome the familiar burn of scotch as I tip my head back and place the empty glass on the bar, asking for another.

Tessa's POV.

"I don't know where he went but he was dropping my dad off first." I tell Landon through the phone.

"Your dad?"

I haven't told Landon about my father's return.

"Yeah, we ran into him yesterday outside this tattoo shop in the bad part of town,"

"How is he? What did he say?"

"He's.." I don't know why but I feel embarrassed to tell Landon about my father. I know he'd never judge me but I'm still apprehensive.

"Is he still.."

"Yeah, he is. He was drunk when we saw him but we brought him back here and he stayed the night."

"Hardin let him?"

"He didn't have a say in it, it's my place too." I snap, "I'm sorry, I have just had it with Hardin thinking he controls everything."

"Do you want me to leave campus and come over?" He asks.

"No, I'm just being dramatic." I sigh and look around the bedroom.

"I think I'll come there actually, I can still make my last class." I could really use some yoga right about now, and some coffee.

"Professor Soto asked about your absence today and Ken said he wrote a character witness for Hardin, what's up with that?" I listen to Landon as I dress myself for yoga. It seems like a waste to drive all the way to campus for one class but I don't want to sit around this apartment and wait for Hardin to come home from wherever he ran off to.

"He did? I don't know, he offered to help him before but I didn't think he meant it. I guess he just likes him or something?"

"Likes him? Likes Hardin?" Landon laughs and I can't help but join him.

My phone drops into the sink as I pull my hair into a ponytail, I curse at myself and attach it back to my ear just in time to hear Landon say he's headed to the library before his next class. I hang up the phone and begin to text Hardin, letting him know where I'm going but I close the screen instead.

He'll come around about this whole Seattle thing, he has to.

By the time I get to campus, the wind has picked up yet again and the sky has turned an ugly shade of gray. I still have thirty minutes before my yoga class starts and the library is on the other side of the block, I don't have time to go there. I end up waiting outside Professor Soto's classroom a few minutes later.

His class should be ending any.. my thoughts are cut off by the crowd of students practically rushing through the doors and into the hall. I lift my bag further up my shoulder and push my way through them to get inside the room. The professor is standing with his back turned towards me as he pulls his leather jacket over his arms.

"Ms. Young," he greets  me with a smile.

"Hi,"

"What brings you by? Did you need the topic for today's journal that you missed?"

"No, Landon gave it to me already. I came by to thank you," I shift uncomfortably on the heels of my gym shoes.

"For what?"

"Writing that character witness for Hardin, I know he hasn't been that pleasant to you so it's very appreciated."

"It's nothing really, everyone deserves a quality education, even jealous boyfriends." He laughs.

"I guess so," I smile at him.

"Besides, Zed deserved it anyway."

What?

"What do you mean?"

He blinks a few times before collecting himself. "Nothing, I'm just... I'm sure Hardin had a good reason, that's all. I better get going, I have a meeting to get to but thanks for coming by, I'll see you in class Wednesday."

"I won't be here Wednesday, I'm going on a trip."

"Well, have fun then. I'll see you when you return." He quickly walks away leaving me confused.

I'm supposed to be leaving for Seattle two days after we return from the trip with Hardin's family which means today would be my last day here at this campus. Before my opinionated subconscious can sneak her way in, I hurry off to the athletics building.