"Turn it off," Hardin groans as the alarm rings throughout the dark bedroom.

My fingers fumble to grab my phone and with a swipe of my thumb across the screen the sound stops. My shoulders feel heavy as I sit up in bed, the weight of today's decisions threaten to pull me down. The University's decision whether or not to keep Hardin in school, Hardin's reaction over Seattle, and finally Zed's decision whether or not to press charges against Hardin.

I can't decide which of these terrify me the most. By the time I turn the bathroom light on and splash cool water against my face I decide the assault charges are the worse. If Hardin is sent to jail I honestly have no idea what I would do, what he would do. The thought alone makes me  nauseous. Zed's request to meet with me this morning resurfaces and my mind reels with all the possibilities of what he could want to talk about. I'm convinced it has to do with Hardin and the impending charges but I thought we had resolved that issue already, apparently I was wrong.

I inhale and exhale into the soft towel hanging on the wall, should I reply to Zed and at least see what he has to say? Maybe he can offer an explanation on why he told Tristan he was going to press charges against Hardin, or better yet why he told me he wouldn't if he was planning to? I feel guilty for asking that of him, especially considering the damage Hardin did to him but I care more about Hardin not getting in trouble than I do feeling guilty for Zed. My thoughts surprise me and even now, I feel worse for thinking them but that's the way it is. I have never thought rationally when it comes to Hardin and I probably never will.

I grab my phone and reply to Zed before I can think of the repercussions, I am only trying to help Hardin. I remind myself that over and over while I finish my hair and makeup.

When I walk out into the living room the blanket is folded neatly on the arm of the couch, my heart sinks. He left? The soft noise of a cabinet opening in the kitchen picks my heart up from the floor and carries me into the dark room. I switch the light on and something clatters against the concrete floor.

"Sorry, I was trying to be as quiet as possible," my father says as he rushes to retrieve the bowl from the floor.

"It's okay, I was up. You could have turned the light on," I laugh quietly.

"I didn't want to wake anyone.I was just trying to make some cereal, I hope that's okay,"

"Of course it is," I start the coffee pot and check the clock, I need to wake Hardin in fifteen minutes.

"What are your plans for today?" He asks with a mouth full of frosted flakes, Hardin's favorite.

"I have class and Hardin has a meeting with the university board."

"He does? What for?"

Should I tell him?

"He got in a fight on campus,"

"And they're making him talk in front of the board? In my day, you got a slap on the wrist and that was that."

"He destroyed a lot of property, expensive property, and he broke the guy's nose." I sigh and stir a spoonful of sugar into my coffee, I need the extra energy today.

"Nice, so what was the fight about?"

"Me, sort of. It was something that was building over time and it finally just... exploded."

"Well I like Hardin even more now than I did last night," he beams.

I shake my head and gulp down half my coffee, letting the hot liquid soothe my frantic nerves.

"Where's he from?"

"England,"

"Thought so, his family's still there?"

"His mother, his father's here. He's the chancellor at WSU,"

"Ironic then, about the expulsion,"

"Very."

"Your mother's met him?" He asks, curiosity in his brown eyes.

"Yes, she hates him." I frown.

"Hate is a strong word,"

"Trust me, she hates him." The ache from the loss of my relationship with my mother is much less powerful than it used to be.

"She can be a little hard headed, she just worries about you."

"She doesn't need to, I'm fine."

"Let her be the one to come around, you shouldn't have to choose one or the other. Your grandma didn't approve of me either, she's probably scowling at me from her grave as we speak," he smiles.

This is all so strange, sitting in my kitchen with my father, bonding over cereal and coffee after all these years.

"It's just hard because we've always been close, as close as she's capable of at least."

"She always wanted you to be just like her, she made sure of that from a young age. She's not a bad person Tessie, she's just afraid."

"Of what?"

"Everything, she's afraid of losing control. I'm sure seeing you with Hardin terrified her and made her realize she doesn't have control of you anymore."

"Is that why you left? Because she wanted to control everything?" I stare at the empty cup in front of me.

"No, I left because I have my own issues and we weren't good for one another. Don't worry about us, worry about yourself and your troublemaker of a boyfriend," he chuckles.

I can't picture the man in front of me and my mother being able to hold a conversation, they are so different. When I glance at the clock again, it's past eight.

"I need to wake up Hardin, I washed your clothes last night. I'll bring them out with me after I get dressed." I tell him and put my cup in the dishwasher.

Hardin is awake and pulling a black t-shirt over his head when I walk through the bedroom door.

"Maybe you should wear something a little more formal to the meeting?" I suggest.

"Why?"

"Because they are deciding your educational future and a black t-shirt doesn't show much effort on your end. You can change right after but I really think you should dress up."

"Fuccckk," he exaggerates.

I walk past him and into the closet to retrieve his black button up shirt and pants.

"No dress slacks, for the love of god, no."

"It's only for a little while," I hand the clothes to him.

"If I wear this shit and they still kick me out I'll burn that whole campus to the ground."

"You're so dramatic," I roll my eyes at him but he doesn't look amused as he buttons the black dress pants.

"Is our apartment still operating as a homeless shelter?"

I drop the shirt, still on the hanger onto the bed and walk towards the door.

"Damn it, I'm sorry. I'm getting anxious and I can't even fuck you to help with the anxiety because your dad is on our couch." Frantic fingers lace through his hair.

His vulgar words stir my hormones but I remind myself that my father is in the other room. I walk over to Hardin who's long fingers are struggling with the top button on his shirt and gently move his hands out of the way.

"Let me,"

His eyes soften but I can tell he's beginning to panic. I hate seeing him this way, it's so foreign. He's so controlled all the time, never caring much for anything. Except me, and even then he's still pretty good at hiding his feelings.

"Everything will be fine babe, it will work out."

"Babe?" His smile is instant, so is the flush in my cheeks.

"Yes, babe." I adjust the collar of his shirt and he leans across to kiss the tip of my nose.

"You're right, worse case scenario we go to England."

I ignore his comment and return to the closet to pick out my own clothes for the day.

"Do you think they'll let me go inside?" I ask him, unsure what to wear.

"You want to go inside?"

"If they allow it." I grab my new purple dress that I planned to wear to Vance tomorrow.

I undress and put the dress on as quickly as possible, I slip black heels on and exit the closet with my hands holding up the front of the dress.

"Can you help me?" I ask Hardin, turning my back to him.

"You're purposely torturing me." His fingertips travel across my exposed shoulders and down my back, leaving goose bumps in their wake.

"Sorry," my mouth is dry.

He slowly zips the fabric, I shiver as his lips press against the already sensitive skin on the back of my neck.

"We need to get going," I tell him and he groans, fingers digging into my hips.

"I'm going to call my dad on the way, are we dropping the.. your dad off somewhere?"

"I'll ask him now, can you grab my bag?" I ask and he nods.

"Tess?" He calls when my hand wraps around the doorknob.

"I like that dress, and you, well I love you of course, and your new dress." He rambles on.

"I love you, and your fancy clothes." I smile and leave the room.

As much as I hate Hardin being nervous, it's also very appealing to me because it reminds me that he's not so tough after all.

My father is sitting on the couch, asleep when I enter the room. I don't know if I should wake him up or just leave him here to rest until we get back from campus.

"Let him sleep," Hardin answers my thoughts.

I quickly scribble a note for him when he wakes explaining when we will be back, and our phone numbers. I doubt he has a cell phone but I still leave them just in case. The drive to campus is short, too short, and Hardin looks like he is going to either scream or punch something at any moment.

"He said to meet him here." Hardin says, checking the screen on his phone for the fifth time in five minutes.

"There he is," I point to the silver car pulling into the lot.

"Finally, what the fuck took him so long?"

"Be nice to him, he's doing this for you. Please, just be nice to him." I beg and he sighs in frustration but agrees.

Landon and Karen are both with Ken, this surprises Hardin and makes me smile. I love them so much for supporting him, even when he acts like he doesn't want the support.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" Hardin says to Landon as they approach us.

"Don't you?" Landon retaliates and Hardin laughs.

Karen notices their exchange and the smile on her face couldn't be brighter.

"I'm hoping this won't last long, I've been calling everyone I can to pull as many strings as possible so I'm praying for the best. Let me do the talking in there, I mean it." Ken instructs Hardin as we reach the large wooden doors of the administrative building.

"Okay." Hardin doesn't argue.

"Tessa, I'm sorry but you can't come inside the room with us. I didn't want to push it, but you can wait right outside." Ken gives me a sympathetic smile as Hardin goes into full panic mode.

"What do you mean she can't come inside? I need her in there!" His voice raises in volume.

"I know you do, I'm sorry but it's family only unless she was a witness but even then that's a huge conflict of interest." His father explains as he leads us down the hall.

We stop in front of a room labeled, "conference".

"It's okay." I assure him.

He lets go of my hand and nods, looking past me to shoot daggers at his father.

"Hardin, please try your best to.."

"I will, I will." He kisses my forehead and the four of them walk into the room.

I want to ask Landon to wait with me but I know Hardin needs him in there, whether he will admit it or not. I feel so useless just sitting here outside this room while a group of stuffy men in suits decide Hardin's educational future. I pull my phone out of my bag,

*I'm at the administrative building, can you come here?*

I wait for a reply and my phone vibrates less than a minute later.

*Yes, I'm on my way*

*I'll be outside* I send.

With one last glance at the door, I head outside to meet Zed. It's cold, too cold to be waiting out here in a knee length dress, but I don't have much of a choice.

Just as I decide to go back inside, Zed's old truck pulls into the parking lot and he steps out of it wearing a black sweatshirt and dark wash jeans. The deep bruising on his face shocks me despite the fact that I just saw him yesterday.

"Hey," He tucks his hands into the pocket on the front of his sweatshirt.

"Hey, thanks for meeting me."

"It was my idea remember?" He smiles and I feel slightly less unsettled.

"I guess you're right." I smile in return.

"I want to talk to you about what you said at the hospital." He says exactly what I was planning to say.

"So do I."

"You go first."

"Steph said you told Tristan you're pressing charges against Hardin." I try not to look at his bruised and bloodshot eyes.

"I did."

"You did? But you told me you wouldn't press charges, why did you lie to me?" The hurt is clear in my shaky voice.

"I didn't lie to you, I meant it when I said it."

"So what changed your mind?" I step closer to him.

"A lot of things, I thought about all the shit he's done to me, and to you. He doesn't deserve to just walk away from this. Look at my face for god's sake."

I'm not sure what to say to Zed in this moment, he has every right to be upset with Hardin but I wish he wouldn't take legal action against him.

"He is already in trouble with the university board." I say, hoping to change his mind.

"He's not going to get in trouble, Steph told me his dad's the chancellor." He scoffs.

Damn it Steph, why would she tell him that?

"That doesn't mean he won't get in trouble."

"Why are you always so quick to defend him? No matter what he does, you're right there to fight his battles for him!"

"That's not true." I lie.

"Yes it is! You know it is, you told me you would think about what I said about leaving him but then I see you with him at a tattoo shop days later, it doesn't make sense."

"I know you don't understand but I love him."

"If you love him so much then why are you running away to Seattle?" His words rattle me.

"I'm not running to Seattle, I'm going there for a better opportunity."

"If you can tell me that you have no feelings toward me, none at all, I'll drop the charges."

"What?" The air seems to have gotten colder, the wind stronger.

"You heard me, tell me to leave you alone and never speak to you again and I'll do it."

His request reminds me of something Hardin said to me long ago.

"I don't want that, I don't want to never talk again." I admit.

"So what do you want then? Because you seem to be just as confused as I am! You keep texting me and meeting up with me, you kiss me, sleep in the same bed as me, you always come to me when he hurts you! What do you want from me?" His voice is laced with sadness and anger.

I thought I made my intentions clear at the hospital.

"I don't know what I want from you! I love him and that's never going to change, I'm sorry that I gave you mixed signals but I.."

"Tell me why you're going to Seattle in a week and haven't told him!" He shouts back at me, his arms waving in front of his body.

"I don't know.. I'm going to tell him when I get the chance."

"You won't tell him because you know he will leave you." Zed snaps, his eyes looking past me.

"He.. well.." I don't know what to say, I know he's right.

"Well guess what Tessa? You can thank me later."

"For what?" I watch as his lips turn up into a wicked smile.

"For telling him for you." Zed lifts his arm up, gesturing behind me and a shiver rakes through me.

I know that when I turn around Hardin will be standing there, I swear I can hear his ragged breathing over the harsh wind.