Hardin's POV.

"Thank you." I sigh in relief and frustration.

I don't really know what to say or how to begin because I didn't expect her to actually listen to me.

I move towards her and stand in front of where she is sitting on the bed, she looks up at me with an unreadable expression and I pace back and forth for a few seconds before stopping to talk.

"Okay.. so this is all just twisted around and fucked up. You thought I asked to come over and then I stood you up, you should know by now that I wouldn't do that."

"Should I?" She interrupts.

I don't know how I expect her to know that by now when I have done so much shit.

"You're right.. but be quiet." I say and she rolls her eyes.

"My party fucking sucked and I wouldn't have even went if you didn't want me to. I didn't drink at all, well actually I did have one drink but that's all. I didn't talk to any other girls, I barely spoke to Molly, and I sure as hell wasn't hanging out with strippers. Why the fuck would I want anything to do with a stripper when I have you?"

Her eyes soften slightly and she's no longer glaring at me like she wants to chop my fucking head off. Its a start.

"Not that I have you.. but I'm trying to have you again. I don't want anyone else. More importantly, I don't want you to want anyone else either. I don't know why you would run to Zed anyway, I know he's nice to you blah blah blah .. but he's full of shit."

"He hasn't done anything to make me think that Hardin." She says.

"He text you from my phone pretending to be me, he purposely told you about the strippers.."

"You dont' know that he text me and I'm glad he told me about the strippers."

"I would have told you if you would've answered when i called you. I had no idea what was going on, I didn't know you made me a cake or that you were waiting on me. It's already hard enough to get you to see that I'm trying here but then he has to come in between us and plant these ideas in your head."

She stays silent.

"So where do we go from here Tess? I need to know because this back and forth shit is killing me and I can't give you space any longer." I kneel down in front of her and her eyes meet mine as I wait for an answer.

Tessa's POV.

I don't know what to do or say to Hardin at this point.

Part of me knows he isn't lying to me about the texts but I don't think Zed would do that to me. I just got finished talking to him about everything with Hardin and he was so kind and understanding.

But this is Hardin.

"Can you give me an answer?" His voice is low and slow.

"I don't know, I'm tired of the back and forth too. It's so exhausting and I can't do it anymore, I really can't." I tell him.

"But I didn't do anything, we were fine until yesterday and none of this is my fault. I know it usually is but not this time. I'm sorry I didn't spend my birthday with you. I know I should have and I'm sorry." Hardin says.

He rests his palms on his thighs as he sits in front of me on his knees, not begging like before but just waiting.

If he's telling the truth about not sending the texts, which I believe he is, then this really is just a misunderstanding.

"When will it stop though? I've had enough of all of it. I had such a great time when you took me out but you wouldn't even come inside when I asked." It has been bothering me that he declined my invitation but I didn't want to bring it up.

"I didn't come inside because I'm trying to give you space, I'm shit at it obviously but I thought if I gave you a little space you would have time to think about all of this and it would be easier for you." He tells me.

"It's not easier for me, but it's not all about me. It's about you too." I tell him.

"What?" He questions.

"It's not only about me. I mean this has to be exhausting for you too."

"Who gives a shit about me? I just want you to be okay and for you to know that I'm really trying here."

"I do."

"You do what? Believe that I'm trying?" He asks.

"That and I give a shit about you." I tell him.

"So what are we doing Tessa? Are we okay now? Or at least on the road to being okay?" He lifts his hand and brings it to my cheek.

He looks at me for approval and I don't stop him.

"Why are we both so crazy?" I whisper as his thumb runs over my bottom lip.

"I'm not. You surely are though." He smiles.

"You're crazier than me." I tell him and he inches closer and closer.

I'm irritated at him for yelling at me and for making me wait for him last night even though he supposedly had nothing to do with it, I'm upset that we can't seem to get along, but more than all of that I miss him. I miss the closeness between us. I miss the way his eyes change when he looks at me.

I have to admit my faults and the role I played in all of this mess. I know how stubborn I am and it doesn't help anything when I assume the worst of him when he is trying, I know he is. I'm not ready to be in a relationship with him but I have no reason to be upset with him over last night. I hope not at least.

I don't know what to think, but I don't want to think right now.

"No." He whispers, his lips mere centimeters from mine.

"Yes."

"Shut up." He presses his lips against mine with extreme caution. They barely touch mine as he uses both hands to cup my cheeks.

His tongue grazes along my bottom lip and I lose my breath. I open my mouth slightly to try to get some air but there doesn't seem to be any, there's nothing, only him.

I tug at his shirt to being him off of his knees but he doesn't budge as he continues to kiss me slowly. His torturous pace is driving me mad and I move from my spot at the end of the bed down to meet him on the floor.

Both of his arms wrap around my waist and mine do the same to his neck. I try to push him back to climb on top of him but once again he doesn't budge.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing, I just don't want to take it too far."

"Why not?" I tell him, keeping our lips touching.

"Because we have a lot to talk about we can't jump into bed without resolving anything." I tell him. 

What?

"We aren't on the bed, we're on the floor." I sound desperate.

"Tessa.." He pushes me back again.

I give up.

I scramble to my feet and sit back on the bed and he stares at me with wide eyes.

"I'm just trying to do the right thing okay? I want to fuck you, believe me I do. God, I do. But.."

"It's fine. Stop talking about it." I beg.

I know it's probably not the best idea but I didn't necessarily think we were going to sleep together, I just wanted to be closer to him.

"Tess."

"Just stop okay? I get it."

"No you don't obviously." He says in frustration and moves to his feet.

"This is never going to be fixed is it? This is how it will always be with us. Back and forth, up and down. You want me but when I want you all you do is push me away." I say, wiling myself not to cry.

"No..that's not true."

"It seems like it. What do you want from me? You want me to believe that you are trying to prove that you can change for me but then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's after that?"

"I don't know.. we haven't even gotten to that point yet. I want to continue to take you out and make you laugh instead of cry, I want you to love me again." His eyes are glossing over and he is blinking rapidly.

"I do love you, always." I assure him.

"But it takes more than that Hardin. Love doesn't conquer all the way the novels make you believe. There are always so many complications and they are overpowering the love that I have for you." I add.

"I know. Things are complicated, they won't always be. We can't get along with one another for even a day, we yell and fight and give each other the silent treatment like five year olds, we do things out of spite and we say the wrong things. We sure as hell complicate things when they don't need to be complicated, but we can figure it out somehow." He offers.

"You told Christian that I didn't want the job in Seattle." I say and he pales.

"What are you.."

"Don't lie to me. I know you did."

"That was before all of this. Before you left me."

"That doesn't make it okay Hardin."

Hardin's POV.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"I know but I.."

I wanted to keep you from going to Seattle, that's all.

"I wasn't thinking clearly."

"You know how important Seattle is to me and you went behind my back and talked to my boss about me not wanting the job!" She raises her voice.

She was just trying to jump my bones three minutes ago and now she's yelling at me again.

We are both fucking crazy.

I don't have a comeback because I know how fucked up that was of me to do. I knew it at the time but I didn't care.

"I know it is important to you! I just got freaked after we watched Smith and he kept asking those annoying questions about us being married and shit."

"What does that have to do with anything? You purposely tried to sabotage my career before it even started. You are supposed to be supportive.." She tells me.

"I know! I'm sorry okay? But look on the bright side of this, you would be going to Seattle and we wouldn't be able to work anything out." I tell her.

Her eyes widen and she opens her mouth to say something but she stops herself.

"What?" I press.

"You're seriously justifying this?"

Yes.

"No."

"Were you going to tell me at all? Or were you going to try to play it off and comfort me when I was upset for not being offered a position?" She asks.

"I wasn't going to tell you." I admit.

She looks away from me.

"I didn't think so."

"I just want you to myself okay? I know that's fucked up and wrong but that's how it is. I didn't want you to go to Seattle, and I still don't."

"So you would do it again then? Tell Christian not to give me a job?"

Should I tell her the truth? Probably not but I have to.

"Yeah. I would do it again." I sigh and she closes her eyes.

"It doesn't matter now, I'm sure they already filled the position. There will be others elsewhere." I try to assure her.

"Where? In England?"

"Yeah."

"You don't get it, do you?" She finally looks at me.

"No, I really don't. I'm sorry for doing that, I shouldn't have done it and I wish I felt differently about it but I don't. I can't help it, at least I'm being honest." I try to defend myself.

Her eyes are distant and it's killing me.

"Don't let that change your mind about this, please? I don't want us to move backward anymore. I swear to not interfere with anything work related again." I practically beg.

Why would Christian even tell her this? I bet it was Kimberly, that gossiping little..

"Okay." She sighs.

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

"You're being very...understanding today." I tell her.

I don't know why she is being more understanding than ever before but I'm glad for it. I'm glad to know our relationship is making progress, finally. If this were two months ago one of us would have already left.

"I  just don't want to take any steps back either, I agreed to try to move forward with you and that's what I'm going to do. I can't keep doing the back and forth thing. I have said it one hundred times but it keeps happening."

"Because you keep trying to fight your love for me." I tell her and she looks thoughtful, like she's overthinking my words.

"You know it's true." I add.

"I know." She sighs.

Tessa's POV.

I don't know where we go from here. I'm glad that Hardin and I are having a somewhat civil discussion over everything that has happened but I can't ignore the fact that he wouldn't support me going to Seattle.

I was going to tell him but I'm afraid if I do he will say something to Christian again and honestly if Hardin and I are going to continue trying to rebuild our relationship or whatever it is that we are doing, it will only complicate it more.

If we are truly able to make this work it won't matter if I'm here or two hours away. I was raised better than to let a man dictate my future, no matter how deep my love for him is.

I know exactly what will happen, he will lose his temper and storm out of here to find Christian, or Zed. Most likely Zed.

"If I pretend that the last twenty four hours didn't happen will you promise me something?" I ask him.

"Anything." He answers quickly.

"Don't hurt him."

"Zed?" He asks, his voice raising slightly.

"Yes, Zed." I clarify.

"No, fuck no. I am not promising that."

"You said.." I begin.

"No, don't even start that shit. He is causing a bunch of shit between us and I'm not going to sit back and allow it. Fuck no." He paces back and forth.

"You don't have any proof that he did that Hardin and fighting him isn't going to solve anything. Just let me talk to him and.."

"No Tessa! I already told you I don't want you near him. I'm not going to tell you again." He growls.

"You don't get to tell me who I can talk to Hardin."

"What more proof do you need? Was sitting here for hours waiting for me when I didn't know you were not enough for you?"

"It wasn't him! He wouldn't do that."

I don't think he would at least. Why would he?

I'm going to ask him about it either way but I just don't see him doing that to me.

"You are literally the most naïve person I have ever met and it's really fucking infuriating."

"Can we please stop arguing?" I sit back down on the bed and put my head in my hands.

"Agree to stay away from him."

"Agree to not fight him, again." I fire back.

"You'll stay away if I don't fight him?"

I don't want to agree but I don't want Hardin to fight him either. This is all giving me a headache.

"Yes."

"When I say stay away from him I mean no contact with him at all. No texts, no going by the science building, nothing." He says.

"How did you know I went there?" I ask him.

Did he see me?

My heart begins to race at the thought of Hardin seeing Zed and I in the greenhouse full of glowing flowers.

"Nate told me he saw you going in there."

"Oh."

"Is there anything else you need to tell me while we are on the topic of Zed because once this conversation is over I don't want to hear another word about him." Hardin says.

"No." I lie.

"You're sure?" He asks again.

I don't want to tell him but I have to. I can't expect honesty from him when I don't give the same in return.

"I kissed him." I whisper, hoping that he didn't hear me but when he knocks the books off the desk I know he did.