"How was everyone's weekend?" Professor Soto asks the class.

A few people answer but Landon and I look at each other and he smiles. He had a much better weekend than I did.

"Glad to see that a few of you are awake." Our professor chuckles.

It's odd not calling him Jonah because I have seen him outside of class more than once, but then again it's odd to call him Jonah because he is my professor after all.

"Let's get out our journals, today we will be discussing forgiveness." He says and Landon immediately looks at me.

"Seriously?" I say under my breath.

"What was that Ms. Young?" Jonah calls me out.

I want to sink into my seat, I like attention in class for getting correct answers but not for having a smart mouth.

"Nothing." I quickly respond and he smiles at me and tucks his ink pen behind his ear.

"Like I said today's lesson is about forgiveness. People spend their entire lives making mistakes and asking for forgiveness, it's the natural cycle of mankind. It's always been that way and every single religion has a tale of betrayal and forgiveness. In Christianity for example, the story of Judas Iscariot is the most famous. Judas was one of Jesus' twelve disciples who betrayed him for only thirty silver coins. Jesus of course forgave him, that is the essence behind Jesus of Nazareth. Forgiveness. It is believed that Judas couldn't live with the betrayal he had committed so he hung himself, the moral here being that even though he was forgiven by Jesus he was never able to forgive himself.  Which is worse, not being forgiven by the one you betray, whether it's your God, or someone else or not being able to forgive yourself? I can say from experience, forgiving yourself for a mistake is one of the hardest things in life. The good thing about forgiveness when in relation to religion is that your God will forgive you, you only have to ask for it in most cases. Humans on the other hand aren't so forgiving." He says and a chill spreads down my spine.

"Well, get to work!" He adds and sits behind his desk.

He always seems to pick a topic that relates to Hardin and I, or maybe it's just that everything in my life relates to Hardin and I.

Forgiveness is not something I really want to think about right now. It's not really about forgiving Hardin, it's more important that he can forgive himself for the things he has done in his past. Once he is able to do so he can allow himself to be happy.

My pen meets the paper and before I know it Professor Soto is dismissing us for the day.

"That was an interesting topic." Landon smirks at me and I use my journal to swat his arm.

"So what did you come up with? That Hardin should go to church?" He laughs and raises his arms in defense.

I pull my hair into a ponytail and gather the rest of my things before Landon and I walk outside.

"Have a good day Ms. Young." Jonah calls when I reach the door and I wave goodbye to him.

"See, notice how he didn't wish me to have a good day?" Landon points out.

"You've got to stop hanging around Hardin." I tease.

I feel complacent today, not necessarily happy but not miserable either. I am confused as hell and I miss Hardin already, pathetic I know. I can't help it, I had been away from him so long and almost had him out of my system but now he's coursing through my veins again, taking over every last bit of sense I had left.

"Are you wanting to go off campus for lunch today?" I ask Landon while we wait for the crosswalk to change.

"I'm going to be making some calls to NYU during lunch." He tells me.

"Woah! NYU, you would do great there. That is incredible."

"Thank you, I'm a little nervous that I won't be accepted in the summer semester and I don't want to take the summer off."

"Are you insane? Of course they will accept you for any semester! You've got a perfect gpa and you've got a chancellor for a step-father." I laugh.

"I should have you call them for me." He jokes.

We go our separate ways and arrange to meet in the parking lot at the end of the day. I head towards the Environmental Studies building to meet Zed, I'm really glad I wore a sweatshirt today because the cold weather is just not letting up.

My stomach is in knots as I approach the large building and pull open the heavy double doors. Zed is sitting on a concrete bench in front  of one of the trees in the lobby. When his eyes find me a smile instantly takes over his face and he stands to greet me. He's dressed in a white long sleeve shirt and jeans, the material of his shirt is so thin that I can see the swirls of ink below the fabric.

"Hey." He smiles.

"Hey."

"I ordered a pizza, it should be here any minute." He tells me and we sit back down on the bench.

"You ordered a pizza on campus?" I ask him.

"Yeah, they deliver here all the time." He shrugs.

"Oh."

I don't know much about the "normal college life", the only glimpse of it I have seen are those terrible frat parties that start out sort of fun but always end terribly for me. While people are ordering pizza on campus, I am cramming in extra study time and downing cup after cup of coffee.

After the pizza is delivered Zed leads me back to a room full of plants that appears to be a greenhouse. Lines and lines of different types of flowers that I have never seen before fill the small space. Zed walks over to one of the small tables and takes a seat.

"That smells so good." I tell him while I sit across from  him.

'What the flowers?"

"No, the pizza. Well the flowers too." I laugh.

I'm starving, I didn't have a chance to eat breakfast this morning and I have been up since Hardin barged into Zed's apartment to get me.

"How did everything go last night..well this morning I guess." He takes a slice of pizza and folds it in half the way my father used to and then he takes a large bite.

I begin to feel uneasy watching him and the smell of the flowers reminds me of the hours I would spend in the greenhouse behind my childhood home escaping from my drunk father screaming at my mother.

I look away from him and finishing chewing before answering him.

"It was a disaster at first, as always."

"At first?" He tilts his head.

"Yeah, we fought like we always do but it's sort of better now." I'm not going to tell Zed about Hardin breaking down on his knees in front of me, its too personal and only for Hardin and I to know.

"What do you mean?"

"He apologized."

"And you fell for it?" His tone is harsh.

"No, I told him I wasn't ready for anything yet. I just told him I would think about it." I shrug.

"You aren't really going to are you?" Disappointment is clear in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm not going to dive right back into anything and it's not like I'm moving back in that apartment."

"You shouldn't even be giving him a minute of your time Tessa, what more does he have to do to you to make you stay away from him?" He stares at me awaiting an answer.

"It's not like that. It's not that simple to just cut him out of my life. I said I'm not dating him or anything but we have been through a lot together and he's been having a really hard time without me."

"Oh drinking and getting high with Jace is his version of having a hard time then?" He tells me and my stomach drops.

"He hasn't been hanging out with Jace, he was in England."

He really was in England wasn't he?

"He was just as Jace's place last night before he showed up at my place."

"He was?"

Out of all people I never thought Hardin would hang out with Jace again.

"It seems a little shady that he would hang out with someone who had such a big part in everything when he seems to hate me being near you."

"Yeah.. but you were in on it too." I remind him.

"Not in telling you, I had nothing to do with when they embarrassed you in front of everyone. Jace and Molly set the whole thing up and Hardin knows that, that's why he beat Jace's ass. And you know I wanted to tell you the whole time, it was always more than a bet for me Tessa, but to him it wasn't. He proved that when he showed us the sheets."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." My appetite is lost and I feel nauseous.

"I'm sorry for  bringing all of that up, I just wish you would give me half the chances you give him. I would never do hang out with Jace if I were in Hardin's position, and on top of that Jace always has random girls over there.."

"Okay." I interrupt him.

I can't listen to anymore about Jace and girls at his apartment.

"Let's talk about something else, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings just now. I really am. I just don't understand. You are too good for him and you've given him so many chances but I won't bring it up again unless you want to talk about it." He reaches across the table and puts his hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay."

I can't believe Hardin would be hanging out with Jace after we got in that fight in the driveway, that is the last place I thought he would be.

"Come on, let me show you something." He stands up and walks over toward the door.

I stand and follow him.

"Wait there." He says when I reach the middle of the room.

The light shuts off and I am expecting pitch black, instead my eyes are greeted with neon green, pink, orange and red. Each row of flowers glow with a different color, some of them brighter than others.

"Woah.." I half whisper.

"Neat isn't it?" He asks.

"Yes, very." I walk down the row slowly, taking in the sight.

"We basically engineered them, the altered the seeds to do glow like this. Watch this." He is suddenly behind me.

His hand moves to my arm and he guides me hand to touch a petal of the pink glowing pink flower. This flower isn't glowing as bright as the rest, that is until my fingertip touches it and it comes to life. I jerk my hand back in surprise and hear him chuckle behind me.

"How is that even possible?" I ask in amazement.

I love flowers, especially lily's and these man made flowers look close to lilies, they are officially my new favorite.

"Anything's possible when science is involved." He says, his face lit up by the flowers and his smile is bright.

"How nerdy of you." I tease and he laughs.

"You aren't in any position to call me nerdy." He teases and I laugh.

"True." I touch the flower again and watch it glow once more.

"This is incredible." I tell him.

"I thought you would like it. We are working on doing the same with a tree, the problem is trees take much longer to grow than flowers. But trees live much longer, flowers are too fragile. If you forget to water them, they wilt and die." His tone is soft and I can't help but compare myself to the flower, I get the feeling he is doing the same.

"If only trees were as pretty as flowers." I remark and he moves to stand in front of me.

"They could be, if someone made them that way. Just the way we took ordinary flowers and turned them into this, the same could be done  with a tree. If it was given the right type if attention and care, it could glow like these flowers, but be much stronger."

I stay silent as he brings his thumb to my cheek.

"You deserve that type of attention, you deserve to be with someone who makes you glow, not burns your light out." Zed says and leans in to kiss me.

I take a step back and my back hits the row of flowers, thankfully none fall as I steady myself.

"I'm sorry, I can't."

"You can't what? Let me be the one to show you how happy you could be?" He raises his voice slightly.

"No.. I can't kiss you, not right now. I can't go back and forth between the two of you. I was in your bed last night, then I kissed Hardin this morning and now.."

"You kissed him?" He gapes and I am grateful for the room being dark except the light from the flowers.

"He kissed me, but I let him before I pulled away. I'm confused and until I know what I'm going to do, I can't go around kissing everyone. It's not right." I explain.

He doesn't say anything.

"I'm sorry if I am leading you on or making you think.."

"It's fine." Zed says.

"No it's not. I shouldn't have brought you into the middle of this until I could think straight."

"It's not your fault, I am the one who keeps coming around. I don't mind being led on, as long as you will have me around. I know we could be good together, and I have all the time in the world to wait for you to see it too." He says and walks over to turn the light on.

How can he always be so understanding?

"I wouldn't blame you if you hated me you know?" I tell him and sling by bag over my shoulder.

"I would never hate you." He says and I smile.

"Thank you for showing me this, it's incredible." I praise him.

"Thanks for coming. I'll walk you to class so you aren't late." He offers with a smile.

By the time I get to the locker room to change and grab my mat I arrive to yoga class only five minutes early. A tall brunette has taken my spot in the front and I'm forced to sit in the back row closest to the door. I had planned on telling Zed that I would never be able to feel the same way about him that I do Hardin, that I am sorry for kissing him, and that we could only be friends but he just kept saying all the right things. When he told me about Hardin being at Jace's last night, it caught me off guard. I always think I know what to do until Zed starts talking. The smoothness of his voice and the kindness behind his eyes always flusters me and messes with my thoughts.

I need to call Hardin when I get back to Landon's and tell him about my lunch with Zed and ask him why he was at Jace's apartment last night. I wonder what Hardin is doing now? Did he come to classes at all today?

"Good afternoon everyone." Ms. Laney smiles.

I lay my mat on the floor and begin to stretch my legs when a blue mat is laid next to me. When I look over Hardin is sitting next to me on the mat.

"What are you doing in here?" I whisper.

"I'm in this class remember?" He asks, trying to keep a smirk off his face.

"You dropped it though."

"So did you." He points out.

"But you hated it." I remind him.

"Yeah, it's not so bad."

I turn my attention toward the front of the room but I can see Hardin smiling at me out of the corner of my eye and I purse my lips together to fight my smile. It's a strange thing the way we were this morning and now we are both fighting smiles. It's always been this way, up and down, back and forth. That's exactly why I need a break from it to decide what I should do about Hardin.

"Downward dog everyone." Ms. Laney says softly, her voice blending in with the soft melody coming out of the speaker behind her.

I flush remembering the last time Hardin and I were in yoga class and his reaction to me. This time we are in a totally different place but he is looking over at me the same way he did before but this time he keeps his comments to himself and I find myself missing them.

"Down further." Ms. Laney says and the class turns their attention to Hardin.

"I can't go any further." He groans and she nods in agreement before closing her eyes to switch poses.

"Now I remember why I hated this class, she's a total bitch." He comments.

"Shh.. she will hear you."

"I don't give a shit." He tries to reach the floor again and ends up just bending his knees so he can press his palms against the mat.

"Cheater." I tease and he chuckles.

I missed this so much, I missed teasing him and laughing with him. I shouldn't be doing it now but I can't help it, the boy is back in yoga class for god's sake. He is wearing the same cut off shirt and gym shorts as before only this time he has something wrapped around his head.

"What is that thing you're wearing on your head?" I whisper.

"It's to keep my hair out of my face when I sweat."

"So a headband?"

"No, it's not a headband. It's...A sweat blocker?" He stutters and I laugh too loudly, only to be shushed by almost the entire class.

"You shh.." Hardin says loudly to defend me.

"Admit it, it's a headband." I say.

"It's just the sleeve of my shirt tied around my head. You don't like it?" He smirks.

"It looks ridiculous." I tease him.

I love it actually.

"Does it?"

"It's okay." I say and look away.

I am supposed to be keeping a little distance between us and here I am giggling like an idiot when I'm supposed to be meditating. I want him to show me he can be better, treat me better, and learn to compromise for me so I guess him coming to this class is a start. A good one at that.

Hardin and I both stay quiet for the remainder of class, I feel his eyes on me the entire time but I only sneak a few glances of him attempting to bend his long body in ways that it shouldn't be bent.

When the class is dismissed, I roll my mat and head out of the room.

"Tessa!" Hardin's voice calls as I reach the locker room.

When I turn around he jogs up to meet me and runs his hands over his hair, pulling the cloth from his head.

"I uhm.. I wanted to talk to you about something.." He sounds off, like he's nervous?

"Right now? I don't think this is the place?" I don't want to hash out all of our problems in the middle of the athletic building.

"No.. it's not that." His voice is high pitched.

He is nervous, this can't be good. He's never nervous.

"I was wondering.. I don't know..Never mind." He flushes and turns around to walk away.

I sigh and turn to go inside to change.

"Would you go out with me!" He yells.. practically screams really.

"What?" I can't hide my surprise as I turn around.

"Like a date..you know like I could take you on a date? Only if you want to of course, but it could be fun maybe? I'm not sure really, but I would.." He rambles and I decide to end his humiliation as his cheeks flush a deep crimson.

"Sure." I answer and he down at me.

"Really?" His lips turn to a smile, a nervous smile.

"Yeah."

I don't know this will go but he's never asked me on a date before. The closest thing to a date was when he took me to the stream and to eat afterwards but that was all a lie and it wasn't an actual date.

"Okay.. When do you want to? I mean we could go right now? Or tomorrow or later in the week?"

I don't remember ever seeing him this nervous before, it's adorable and I try not to laugh.

"Tomorrow?" I suggest.

"Yeah tomorrow's good." He smiles and captures his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Okay.." The air between us is awkward but in a good way.

I find myself feeling flustered, like I used to get the first few times I was around Hardin.

"Okay." He repeats.

He turns on his heel and walks away quickly, nearly tripping over a rolled up wrestling mat and I burst into laughter as I walk into the locker room.

(I have decided to make a third book, I asked everyone's opinion and nearly everyone said yes, out of 3000plus comments there was only four or five that said "maybe" so I'm going to. It's going to be a continuation of this book. Anyway, please vote and comment, I love you all so much!! xo)