"You didn't think I was going to stay?" I ask him and take his hands into mine.

I have asked that too many times since I have met him.

"No, not after everything that I have done. Not now that you know everything. You know everything" He repeats.

"Yes.. I do." As I say the words I realize how freeing this is.

I no longer have to worry that the secrets from Hardin's past will come back to haunt us. I no longer have to wait for someone to drop a huge bombshell on me. I know everything. I finally know everything he has been hiding. I can't help but think of the phrase "sometimes it is better to be kept in the dark than be blinded by the light."

I don't think that applies me to right now, I am disturbed by the things he has done but I love him and I have chosen to not let his past effect us any longer.

"What are you thinking? Do you have any questions about any of the things in the note?" He sits on the edge of bed and I stand between his legs.

He flips my hands over in his and traces small patterns on my palms as he searches my face for clues to how I am feeling about all of this.

"No.. I do wish I knew what happened to Natalie.. but I don't have any questions."

"I am done being that person, you know that don't you?" I already told him this but I know he needs to hear it again.

"I know that. I really do babe." His eyes dart to mine at the use of the word.

"Babe?" He arches his brow.

"I don't know why I said that.." I flush.

I have never called him anything other than Hardin, I am not sure why I did just now. I love when he calls me that but I doubt he likes it the way that I do.

"No.. I like it." He smiles.

"I have missed your smile." I tell him.

His fingers stop their movements.

"I have missed yours too. I don't make you smile enough." He frowns.

I want to say something to remove the frown from his face but I don't want to lie to him. He doesn't make me smile enough and he needs to know that.

"Yea.. we need to work on that." I say.

"I don't know why you love me."

"It doesn't matter why I love you, only that I do."

"The letter was stupid wasn't it?"

"No! Would you stop with the self loathing? It was wonderful. I read it three times straight. It really made me happy to read the things that you were thinking about me.. about us."

"You knew I loved you."

"Yes.. but it was nice to know the small things, the way you remembered what I was wearing. Those types of things. You never say those types of things."

"Oh." He looks embarrassed.

It is still slightly unnerving to have Hardin be the vulnerable one in our relationship. That role has always been mine.

"Don't be embarrassed." I say.

His arms wrap around my waist and pull me onto his lap.

"I am not embarrassed.:" He lies.

I run one of my hands through his hair and wrap my other arm around his shoulder. It hasn't been long since I have been in his arms but it feels that way.

"I think you are."  I call him out and he laughs, burying his head into my neck.

"What a Christmas Eve. It's been a long ass day." He complains and I agree.

"Way too long. I can't believe my mother came here. She is so unreasonable."

"Not really." He says and I pull back to look at him.

"What?"

"She isn't unreasonable, really. Yea she goes about it the wrong way but I can't blame her for not wanting you to be with me." He tells me.

"What? Since when are you on her side?" I am offended. I stood up to my mother for him, for us, and here he is telling me she is right.

"I never said I was on her side but if you were my daughter I would never allow you to be with someone like me."

I scowl at him and move off of his lap to sit next to him on the bed.

"Don't look at me like that, I am just saying now that I have really thought about all the shit I have done, I don't blame her for thinking we shouldn't be together."

"Well I think she is wrong, can we stop talking about her." I whine.

The guilt from my harsh words to her earlier is trying to surface and I have had enough emotional trauma for the day. The year really. The year is almost over, I cant believe it.

"Yes. what would you like to talk about?" He asks.

"I don't know.. not her.. let's talk about something lighter. Like how romantic you can be." I smile.

"I am not romantic." He scoffs.

"Yes you most certainly are. That letter was one for the classics." I tease.

"It wasn't a letter, it was a note. A note that was only supposed to be a paragraph at most." He rolls his eyes.

"Sure, a romantic note then." I smile.

"Would you shut up." He groans.

"Is this where you annoy me to get me to say your name?" I laugh.

He moves too quickly for me to respond, he grabs my waist and pushes me back onto the bed, hovering over me with his hands on my hips.

"No, I have since come up with other ways to get you to say my name." He breaths, his lips against my ear.

My entire body ignites with only  a few words from Hardin.

"Is that so?" I say in a thick voice.

Natalie's faceless figure appears in my mind causing my stomach to turn.

"I think we should wait until your mother isn't in the other room." I suggest.

Partly because I need more time to ease back into our relationship, but mostly because Anne is in the other room. It was awkward enough doing it once while she was here.

"I can kick her out now." He jokes and rolls off of me to lay next to me.

"Or I could kick you out."

"I wouldn't leave, I am not leaving again. Neither are you." The certainty in his tone makes me smile.

"So this is it then, we are done with the back and forth?" I ask.

We are laying next to one another, both of us staring at the ceiling.

"Yes, this is it. No more secrets, no more leaving. Do you think you can manage not leaving me for a week at least?"

I push his shoulder with my arm and laugh.

"Do you think you can manage to not piss me off for a week at least?"

"No, probably not." He answers, I know that he is smiling.

I turn my head to the side and sure enough a huge grin covers his face.

"You'll have to stay with me at my dorm sometimes too. The drive is far."

"Your dorm? You aren't living in a dorm. You live here."

"We just got back together, do you really think it's a good idea for me to live here?"

"You're staying here, we aren't discussing this any further."

"You are obviously confused to be speaking to me that way." I smile and raise myself up on my elbow to look at him.

"I don't really want to live in the dorm, I just wanted to see what you would say."  I admit.

"Well I am glad to see you are back to being annoying." He says and lifts himself up, mirroring my actions.

"I am glad to see you are back to being rude. I was getting worried after that romantic letter that you had lost your edge."

"Call me romantic one more time and I will take you right here, right now, whether my mum is here or not."

My eyes widen and he laughs louder than I think I have ever heard him laugh.

"I'm joking! You should see your face!" He bellows.

I can't help but laugh with him.

"I feel like we shouldn't be laughing after all the stuff that happened today." He says after we stop.

"Maybe that's why we should be laughing." I say and mean it. This is what we do, we fight then make up.

"Our relationship is sort of fucked up." He smiles.

"Yea.. just a little." It has definitely been a roller-coaster.

"Not anymore though, okay? I promise."

"Okay." I lean over and give him a quick kiss on the lips.

It isn't enough though, it never is. I bring my lips back to his, this time I let them linger. Both of our mouths open at the same time and he slips his tongue inside of my mouth. My hands fist his hair and he pulls me on top of him as his tongue massages mine. No matter how messed up our relationship has been there is no denying the passion. The passion we have together is incredible and all consuming. I start to move my hips, grounding down onto him and he smiles under my lips.

"I think that's enough for now." He says.

I lay my head on his chest and revel in the feeling of his arms wrapping around my back as I lay on top of him.

"I hope tomorrow goes well." I say after a few minutes of silence.

He doesn't respond and when I lift my head up his eyes are closed and his lips are slightly parted in sleep. He must have been exhausted, then again so am I. I climb off of him and check the time. It's past ten. I pull his jeans off of him, without waking him, before I join him back in bed. Tomorrow is Christmas and I can only pray that it goes much better than today.

Hardin's POV.

I faintly hear Tessa's damn alarm clock buzzing, waking me too early. I will not complain though because I am lucky enough to hear it. Lucky enough for her to be here after everything. She turns it off and climbs out of bed, leaving me alone. I have half the mind to follow her into the bathroom, not to do anything to her, just to be near her. The bed is too warm so I decide against it. A few minutes later I force myself out of bed to make a pot of coffee.

"Merry Christmas." My mum says when I enter the kitchen,

"Same to you." I walk past her to the fridge.

"I made coffee." She says.

"I see that."

"Hardin I am sorry for what I said yesterday. I know that I upset you when I agreed with her mum."

"It's just that she belongs with me mum, no where else. Only with me." I grab a towel to wipe up the excess coffee spilling over my mug.

"I know she does Hardin. I see that now. I am sorry."

"Me too, I am sorry for being a dick all the time. I don't mean to." She seems to be surprised by my words, I guess I don't blame her. I never apologize, regardless if I am right or wrong.

"It's okay, we can move past it. Let's have a nice Christmas at your lovely father's house." She smiles, sarcasm clear in her voice.

"Yea, let's move past it. I love you mum." The words taste odd coming out but her expression makes it worth it.

"What?" Tears immediately pool in her eyes from hearing the words I never say to her.

"I love you mum." I repeat,  a little embarrassed.

She pulls me into her arms and hugs me tighter, tighter than I usually allow.

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