(If you listen to poison and wine by the Civil Wars during this you may cry, maybe not but I did lol xo)

"Tessa what are you doing here?" He asks and I wipe my eyes.

I know I look like hell, baggy jeans and sweatshirt, yesterday's smeared makeup and tangled hair. I look at the girl standing behind him and reach down to pick my bags up off the floor. Hardin seems to remember the girl is there and turns around to face her.

"Can you give us a minute?" He asks her and she nods before exiting the apartment.

"I can't believe you are here." He says and walks into the kitchen. He removes his jacket revealing a plain white t-shirt.

"I..I was just leaving." I manage to say. He looks so perfect, so beautiful. Such a beautiful disaster.

"Please just let me explain myself." He begs. The dark circles under his eyes are even more prominent than mine.

"No." I reach for my bags again but he grabs them out of my hands and sits them back onto the floor.

"Two minutes, that's all I am asking for."

Two minutes is too long to be here with Hardin but this is the closure I know I need so that I can move on with my life and never have to see him again.

I sigh and sit down, trying to hold back any noise that would betray my neutral expression. He is clearly surprised by me sitting down and he takes the seat across from me.

"You sure moved on fast." I say quietly.

"What?" Hardin says then seems to remember the brunette.

"She works with me, well for the same publisher as I do, her husband is downstairs with their newborn daughter. She came to check out the apartment, they are looking for a new place so she wanted to see the layout of our.. the place." He explains.

"You're moving?" I ask.

"No, not if you will stay but I don't see the point in staying here when you aren't here. I am just going over my options here." He says.

I am slightly relieved but just because he isn't sleeping with her doesn't mean he won't be sleeping with someone else soon. I ignore the twinge of sorrow that comes along with Hardin talking about moving out already, even though I won't be here.

"You think I would bring someone here to our apartment? It's only been two days, is that how you think of me?" He asks and I nod.

Pain flashes across his face and he sighs.

"Where did you stay last night? I went to my father's and you weren't there." He says.

"My mother's."

"Oh." He looks down at his hands.

"Did you guys work everything out?" He asks.

"That is none of your business." I snap and look directly into his eyes.

"I miss you so much." He says and I lose my breath again.

"Sure you do."

Despite the whirlwind of emotions that I feel inside, I will not allow myself to come undone any further in front of him.

"I do Tessa, I know I fucked up big time but I love you."

"Just stop Hardin, save yourself the time and energy. You aren't fooling me, not anymore. Just stop. You got what you wanted so why not just stop?"

"Because I can't just stop., I love you. I need you to give me a chance to make this up to you. I need you Tessa. I need you. You need me too." He reaches for my hand but I jerk it away.

"No, I don't actually. I was fine before you came into my life."

"Fine isn't happy." He says.

"Happy? And what I am happy now?" I scoff. How dare him try to say he makes me happy.

"You were, and you could be again if you just give me another chance."

"You had more than enough chances Hardin, I don't think you get the entirety of what you did to me. Zed told me that you told them everything, every detail about everything we've ever done. I should have stayed away from you in the beginning. I won't make that mistake again."

"You can't sit here and tell me that you don't believe that I love you." He didn't deny that he told them everything. I already knew this but it doesn't make it hurt any less to have his confirmation.

"I know you don't, it was all a game to you. While I was falling in love with you, you were going behind my back."

"Let me prove to you that I love you, please. I will do anything Tessa. Anything." His eyes water.

"You already have proved enough to me Hardin. The only reason I am even sitting here right now is because I owe it to myself to listen to what you have to say, so I can move on with my life."

"I don't want you to move on." He says. I want to believe him, I want to forgive him but I can't. I can't keep making mistake after mistake with him.

"You said you would never leave me." His voice cracks. I don't trust myself when he is like this.

"I told you I wouldn't leave you if you didn't give me a reason to, and you did." Now it makes perfect sense to me why he was always worried about me leaving, he knew once I found out I would.

"We can't do this anymore, I can't do this. I trusted you. Hardin I trusted you with every fiber of my being. I depended on you, I loved you and you were using me all along. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? That everyone around me was mocking me and laughing behind my back, including you, the person I trusted the most."

"I know Tessa, I know. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me when I brought up the bet in the first place, I thought it would be easy. I thought you would sleep with me and that would be the end of it. But you were so head strong and so.. intriguing that I found myself thinking of you when you weren't around. I would sit in my room and try to plot ways that I could see you, even if it was just to fight with you. I knew it wasn't just a bet anymore after that day at the stream but I couldn't bring myself to admit it. I was battling with myself and I was worried about my reputation, I know that's fucked up but I am just being honest. And when I told everyone about the things we did I didn't tell them what we were actually doing.. I couldn't do that to you, even in the beginning. I would just make up shit that didn't actually happen and they bought it." He explains.

A few tears fall from my eyes and he reaches across to wipe them. I don't move away fast enough and his touch burns my skin. It takes everything in me to not lean into his palm.

"I hate to see you this way." He mutters.

I close my eyes and reopen them, desperate for the tears to stop.

I stay quiet and he continues.

"I swear, I started telling Nate and Logan about the stream but I found myself getting irritated, jealous even, over the idea of them knowing what I did to you.. how I made you feel so I told them that you gave me.. well I just made shit up."

I don't know if him lying about us doing things is any better but for some reason it is a relief to know that Hardin and I are the only people who really know what happened between us, well the details at least. But then again, he is probably lying right now and here I am already quick to believe him. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Even if I believed you, I can't forgive you." I tell him. I blink away my tears and he puts his head in his hands.

"You don't love me?" He asks and looks at me between his hands.

"Yes. I do." I admit.

"Then why can't you forgive me?"

"Because this is unforgivable, you didn't just lie. You took my virginity to win a bet and showed people my blood on the sheets. That is not something I can ever forget."

"I took your virginity because I love you." He says and I shake my head.

"I don't know who I am without you anymore." He looks into my eyes again but I look away.

'This wasn't going to work anyway, we both know that." I tell him in hopes to make myself feel better. It is hard to sit across from him and watch him in pain but at the same time seeing him in pain eases mine.

"Why wouldn't we? We were doing great."

"Everything we had was based on a lie. Let's just both be glad that it ended now instead of later when we had more invested. Look at you and look at me." I say even though I don't mean it. I have a sudden confidence from his pain. The look on his face when I use his biggest insecurity about our relationship against him kills me but he deserves it.

"Is this about Noah? You saw him didn't you?" Hardin asks and my mouth falls open at his audacity.

"Yes I did see him but that has nothing to do with why I won't forgive you. That's your problem is that you go around doing whatever the hell you want to people, not caring about the outcome and you expect everyone to just be okay with it!" I shout and stand up from the table.

"No I don't Tessa!" He raises his voice and I roll my eyes.

"Okay so maybe I do, but this time I care about the outcome." He stands.

"You should have thought about that when you were bragging about your conquest!" I yell at him.

"My conquest? Are you fucking serious right now? You are not a conquest of mine, you are everything to me! You are my breath, my pain, my heart, my life!" He screams and takes a step toward me. Even though he is screaming at me it is still the most touching thing he has ever said to me.

"Well it's a little too late for that!" I scream back.

"You think you can just.." I begin to yell again.

He catches me off guard by wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and puling me to him, crashing his lips to mine.

The familiar warmth and taste of his mouth nearly brings me to my knees. My tongue is moving along with his before my mind catches up to what is happening. He moans in relief and I try to push him away. He grabs my wrists in one hand and holds them on his chest as he continues to kiss me, I keep struggling to get out of his grip but my mouth is still moving along with his. He backs up and moves me with him until his back is against the counter. His other hand is on the side of my neck, holding me still. All of the pain and heartache inside me begins to dissolve and I relax my hands in his. This wrong but so right. But wrong. I pull away and he tries to reconnect our lips but I turn my head.

"No." I say and his eyes soften.

"Please." He begs.

"No, Hardin. I need to go." I say and he lets go of my wrists.

"Go where?"

"I.. I don't know yet. My mother is trying to get me back into a dorm." I tell him.

"No..no.." He shakes his head. "You live here, don't go back into the dorms." His voice is frantic.

"I can't stay here."

"Yes you can. I will go if anyone should. Just please stay here so I know where you are." He runs his hands over his hair. 

"You don't need to know where I am." I weakly respond.

"I have to go." I say when he doesn't respond.

"Stay." He repeats.

If I am being completely honest with myself, I want to stay with him. I want to tell him that I love him more than breathing but I can't. I refuse to get pulled back in and be that girl who lets guys do whatever the hell they want to them.

I pick up my bags and say the only thing that will keep him from following, I hope at least. It could also send him flying down the stairs after me to cause an even bigger scene.

"Noah and my mother are waiting, I have to go." I lie and walk out of the door. He doesn't follow and I don't let myself turn around to see the pain I know I have caused.