I take as long as I'm allowed to eat my breakfast. Nobody rushes me, though I can tell that Sota is getting impatient. I started to notice that fewer and fewer people have their clothes on, I suppose because they all, very shortly, will no longer be human. It's an odd feeling; I had been engrained to fear them for so long, I force myself to think of them as men more than beasts.

Change had to start with me.

I cling to Tonic as we make our way out of the main hall and into the courtyard. An assassination attempt wouldn't be unfounded, and while I wasn't sure if Tonic would protect me, he would at least slow them down. "It's going to be okay," Tonic mutters half-heartedly, keeping his voice so low that I wonder if I truly heard him speak. 

The pack is alive and vibrating, though surprisingly, the volume is a little over a dull roar. My city was peacefully sleeping with no idea a pack of beasts was about to run around it. Hell, they live outside my window and I was none the wiser that this was going on, the silence and precision in which the pack could maneuver astounded me. 

Needing a distraction, I focus on the Alpha look-alike; Tonic seems just as on edge as I am. "Funny you, of all people, are trying to be optimistic. Where will you be?" I ask him hopefully. 

"Up front today," Sota answers for him; I notice the look of concern on my companion's face. "Tonic is the only one fast enough to catch Alpha. We are all pretty impressed that he outran that dragon. If something goes wrong, the hope is that Tonic might be able to disrupt an attempt on your life but.. well.."

In other words, he knew that Tonic was the least likely to save me. 

Swallowing back my disappointment with how final this attempt would be, I nod as I address Tonic. "You're okay with this?" I ask him, watching his kind brown eyes. Sometimes, I wonder what he would look like without the scar but I can't seem to picture it. 

Reluctantly, he nods. "Yes. If Alpha turns on you--" 

 "He won't," I reassure my companion, touching his arm with a forced smile. "Besides, I'm recharged from the dragon; a wolf doesn't scare me."

As if on cue, I jump at a snarl as one of the creatures treads beside us. The snicker of the pair of men makes my blood boil, but I refuse to entertain it. 

"Delta will try to stay as close as possible, but I weigh him down. We won't have Victor to muscle him down, as if he could catch him anyway. You will be completely on your own; Swift and Fleet will be there, as well, for backup if we need them, but I'm sure you can piece together how quickly things can turn." Sota concludes with a shrug, I focus on the mist of his breath in the chill of the morning. 

Steam rises from the surrounding muzzles as the wolves begin to close in. 

"Give me some pointers then, I'm imagining a wolf has different weaknesses than a dragon." I retort shortly, crossing my arms over my chest. 

"Delta, shift," Sota instructs. 

Delta is suddenly a brown and honey-colored wolf before us. Smaller than Alpha but still substantial, he doesn't look as young as Tonic. He lowers himself obediently, and Sota climbs on.

Clearing his throat, Sota seems quite cocky that it is him I would be forced to learn from. I must swallow my pride; this isn't about me but about giving Alpha his family back. I owed him that, and if I allowed myself to think of my credentials, I was more than capable.

"Your father fabricated an instinct into us when we were created. We were built to be ridden; it's inside us to obey the person on our backs. I started with the lower wolves and worked my way up to Delta. The human side is at its weakest when someone is seated on the wolf; every one of these bastards answers to someone.. and that person, by design, is the one who rides them."

I grimace, running a hand through my hair as I glare into the distance, "Alpha answers to no one." I mutter, wishing I'd had a drink before coming out here. 

"The most important fact is don't fall off. Once you fall off, that's the end." He grabs a handful of Delta's scruff and pulls back.

 Delta obediently backs up.

"They are much like riding a horse; they don't seem to have much feeling in this scruff area. I hold on with my legs; I lean back when I want to stop. The scruff helps steer; it gets easier the more you do it. But I wouldn't kick him like a horse." Sota chuckles, yet the vacant look on Delta's face makes me sick to my stomach. I might never look at riding a dragon the same way, yet somehow, the dragon seemed more willing to participate. "Are you ready?"

No.

I nod. 

Sota hops off Delta, who blinks a few times and shakes his coat. The white-haired man motions with his hand; Swift and Fleet approach with Alpha squeezed between them. He looks concerned, his coat a startling gray compared to the hues of the twins surrounding him. 

The gray wolf lays his ears back and stops short. 

"I don't like this," Alpha tells Sota, not looking at me. 

For a moment, I believed it was a concern for me that stopped him. I knew that if I died, all his leverage would be lost. 

"Do not be a coward, Verando. He is willing to try, so you must also try. The pack needs you, and we are running out of time and patience. This is the life you have chosen; it's time to do what has to be done." Sota sounds absolute; yet I notice Sota never mentioned an attempt to sit on Alpha's back.

Silently, the thought amuses me.

The light blue eyes settle on me, absorbing the words, taking me in. "He will die." Alpha's voice is hard, hardly above a murmur. 

"Then it would be a debt repaid," I tell him shortly. "Don't go soft on me now; I've ridden far worse than you. It'll be.. fun.. right?" 

The inky corner of his lips pulls down, flinching as Sota grabs Alpha's scruff and pulls him forward. The gray creature shuts his eyes, fighting for control as he gets closer to me until we are mere feet apart. I can feel his warmth, wishing to shove Sota away, wanting to end the disrespectful treatment of such a proud creature.

 It makes me uncomfortable, not the thought of being killed, but the thought of dominating such a valiant man.

 I take my mind off the task by focusing on how it reflects off the gray coat before me and turns to an almost stone-white color as it nears his chest and belly. 

Lost in thought, I pause and glance over, extending my hand to touch his shoulder. The remarkable blue eye is watching me, and I can tell it's the wolf. The low, raspy growl rumbles through his body, but Sota surprises us both when he bumps him abruptly with his palm on his shoulder. 

Alpha snaps at him, and Sota responds by jutting him in the nose with his elbow. Alpha and I both stare at him in complete bewilderment.

"Are you done?" Sota asks patiently. "Can we get on with this?"

The wolf snorts, looking away in offense. 

"If you'd like to try and fight for your life when you fall off, you're going to have to grab him by the ear, like this, and stay as close to him as you can. It doesn't take a lot of strength, so you should be capable. The ears are sensitive, grab hard and twist." Sota demonstrates by showing me how to grab the creature's ear and twist it in his palm, lowering Alpha's head below the level of our chest.

 It elicits a whine and instantly makes me wonder if this is the right thing to do. My hands flinch, "Alright. I don't need to see anymore." I snap, moving to reach across only for Tonic to yank me backward as the jaws snap shut where my arm had been. 

My heart pounding in my chest, Sota shoving the snarling beast's head towards the ground; I struggled to see any truth in the idea that Alpha wanted to hurt me. I would be riding him as was intended, and the nature of such an act must be proving all of his suspicions about me correct.

 What right did I have to his tolerance?

I feel like my father would be smiling down on me, making my stomach turn. 

When I was a boy, my father had taken me hunting for bears. With no guns, we hunted them for miles on foot; as a predator, eventually, it would turn to defend itself, and yet, the look on its face mirrored the display I saw in Alpha. The bear would never have attacked if we had not intended to take its life. 

Like a master puppeteer, my father took hold of the bear, contorting its body into whatever position he wished, bringing laughter from my brothers. They had reasoned that the bear would kill us if it found us edible, so why not kill it first with a bit of sport? I found it barbaric then as I do now.

It was a blood sport to do nothing more than practice magic I did not possess. Fun at the expense of a life.

 My brothers had returned victorious; I had sworn off meat from that day forward, save for lamb, at my mother's request.

"This doesn't seem right... let alone fair." I reason, glancing at Sota as he directs Swift and Fleet to position them around us. 

"Life's not fair. He's an animal, Nicolas. In this state, he's no more than a dog. It's the nature of our design. If you don't like it, help us get through this war and break this curse." Sota's yellow eyes lock on me, and I look away. 

Fixing the curse would mean killing a part of them that wanted so desperately to live.

"It's time to get on." 

Before I can answer, Sota stoops down and throws me onto Alpha's back. He's taller and broader. The muscles are tight under my thighs. He adjusts his stance to compensate for my weight, and his ears practically touch. For a moment, we breathe in unison. This was nothing like a horse or a dragon, and the lycan broke free of Sota's grasp in a fit of rage. 

Ivory fangs snap towards my foot, and I inhale sharply as I contemplate kicking him in the nose, yet I can't make myself do it. Hurriedly, I leap off of his back, and Sota hardly grabs hold of his neck in time; I cover my ears at the sound of the barking as I fall back onto my butt on the hard earth.

My fate was confirmed, nobody, not even Tonic, moved to save me and Sota probably only stopped him to prevent carnage that Alpha would blame him for later. 

"Nic?" Tonic finally says as the pack falls silent, with Sota stringing together a flurry of insults and expletives. 

"Next time, I'll let him eat you." Sota threatens. "Defend yourself!"

But if I had, he'd never trust me again. 

Reluctantly, I stand, dusting myself off as I struggle to come to grips with the nature of this task. "Right..." I manage, patting my pants. My fingers land on my belt, and I remove it. "Hold him still," I warn the older man before approaching Alpha and wrapping the belt around his neck. I fasten it on the last notch, closing my fists around the leather as I stare at the large shoulder before me. 

I just needed to stay on. Nothing too extravagant. 

Using a short burst of wind towards my feet, I hop up and onto his back, careful to land as softly as I could manage. 

"Good luck." Sota spits, climbing back onto Delta, moving him to stand beside us as I attempt to stay centered on the creature who feels like he might explode beneath me. Swift and Fleet hang to my right and Tonic walks behind us, with his ears low, head down and tail tucked. 

I can see Swift and Fleet bickering out of the corner of my eye; they snap and shove at each other. The pack falls in line behind us, and the sound of rhythmic paws echoes off the trees as we march towards the outskirts of the city. 

Attempting to remove myself from the task at hand, I watch the rolling farmland, the blue haze of mountains in the distance catching the morning sun. It's peaceful out here as we pick up the pace and cross the open terrain. Many times, I've ridden my horse through this very path, and I find comfort in the familiarity.

The ground is crunchy with frost, as we get farther from the city I start to see a few of the mountains have snow caps. Winter is mere months away, and I'm enthralled by the beauty; it was as if I was seeing it all with fresh eyes. This place had been a prison to me since coming home; I relished in the crisp air and the assurance that life, in fact, moved on.

Scanning the horizon, I see the path we are headed towards. It's an open land expanse between the capital and the outside cities. It goes on for miles, a type of highway for us to travel to one another and now, apparently, a place for the pack to get its exercise.

"How fast can a wolf run?" My heart beats for a whole other reason: excitement, a hint at the impending thrill. 

"Your father did a good job; the wolf can keep up with a strigoi in full flight; you won't be able to outlast him. Alpha is a little faster due to his breeding, but the shoulder has slowed him down, unfortunately."  Sota grumbles, dismissive.

 As we round the corner, Sota warns me to prepare myself. I tighten my hands on the belt as it feels more respectful than pulling on his coat, grabbing onto him with my legs. The sensation makes him jump forward and pin his ears. He growls at me and shakes his body in irritation at my presence. 

I tug the fur under my fingers, "Do your worst; I'm not afraid of you." I grumble at him in annoyance.

 Alpha barks at me in response, bolting forward. It almost unseats me; I hunker down closer to his neck; at first, I feel as though I might fall off from the leaping strides he takes. His paws stretch out in front of him, propelling him faster. 

Stealing a glance behind us, Swift and Fleet are trying to keep up, but Tonic has managed to stay close behind us, coasting along like a scared puppy, though he seems to relax as we get farther and farther from the pack. 

Alpha starts to smoothen out, hits his stride, and surges forward in a way I could find myself learning to enjoy. It was better than a horse, less terrifying than a dragon, and more comfortable. The wind stinging my eyes, the blur of our surroundings, and the sureness of his footing were exhilarating. I even found myself allowing the slightest chuckle to slip, despite the danger.

 I can feel the awkwardness in his gait coming from his left front leg, how the stride is not as long, and wonder if that was the reason for his poor attitude about me sitting on him beyond the obvious.

 In my distracted state, he breaks free of the pack, leaping over a fallen log. I yelp with surprise, grabbing the belt and yanking it backward. The bastard has gone off the trail; he blazes through the trees. Whipped and slapped by vines and branches, I duck down against his neck, flinching at how they smart against my skin. 

Tonic comes up alongside us, helping me slide back into position with his muzzle. 

Alpha snaps at him, nearly running headlong into a tree with the attempt.

"Control him!" Tonic manages

"Oh right, as if I can!" I responded in frustration, feeling my fingers loosen as I wondered if it'd be better just to jump off, to take my chances on the ground.

"Just do it!"

I dig my fingers down to his undercoat and pull hard. The gray creature suddenly halts, and Tonic blazes past us.

Reason with him, I command myself. 

"Listen here. Wolf. Alpha. Whatever the hell you are. I know you can talk. I've heard it before. I want to help you, I'm trying like hell to help you, and if you don't want to.. be.. with me, I understand that, but it's ridiculous to think you can just kill someone instead of ending-"

 "Stop talking." Alpha cranes his head to the sky, sniffing.

"I won't! I came out here to confront you, and that's what I plan to do! I won't have this continue, I've grown fond of your human half and you will have to get used to it or.. or... I'll do what I must to get past this!"

"Stop. Talking." The voice is rough, a rumble in his throat as he shifts to face the clearing. He sniffs again, his ears scanning the woods. "When was the last patrol?" 

I can hear the shift in his voice as if Verando were trying to come through.

Tonic frowns, his nose twitching. "I don't smell anything." He looks towards me in confusion. "I... the men... Adriam doesn't... Alpha, I'm not sure."

"Omega." Alpha rasps in disappointment and suddenly turns his head back towards the pack. "Elves." He breathes. "There." He points with his nose towards the tree line across the clearing.

 I frown. "Okay, so we need to stay here until the pack catches up," I tell him firmly.

"No time, it's an ambush." He takes a step, and I pull the belt roughly.

"We will be slaughtered! Elves means arrows, you are a beacon of gray against a sea of brown!" 

"Then protect me." He looks over his shoulder at me, and I flinch. "We have to get to them."

 My fingers loosened; he'd touched a side of me that I didn't realize had been broken. I could protect him, I was sure of it. Alpha bounds out of the woods into the open, and Tonic scoots close behind. 

Pausing only momentarily, the pair throw their heads back and howl. If we weren't about to step into an ambush, I might have thought it was beautiful.

The first arrow zips over our heads, and I toss my hand upward to create a wind barrier. Arrows deflect rapidly; I try not to be offended by how surprised Tonic and Alpha look at my usefulness.

"We need to go. Now!" I tell him hurriedly; I do my best to deflect arrows as the pair race back towards the pack. In the distance, I spot Sota, hearing the muffled shout of a voice lost to the distance. In front of the pack, Swift and Fleet race toward us.

"Tighten up! Stay together!" Alpha calls out to them, cursing under his breath. 

An arrow hits Fleet in the chest, his outstretched paws miss the ground, and he tumbles in a flurry of legs as he hits the ground and rolls. Swift's eyes grow large, and he skitters to a stop. "Fleet!" He screams, and Alpha hits his side with his shoulder. 

"Get to the trees. Warn the pack! We are being ambushed."

 Glimpsing back over my shoulder to confirm that Fleet was no longer moving, my body had long since grown numb to realizing that someone was now dead. Alpha grunts to get my attention, "Don't look back." he snarls at me.

"Randy..." I breathe, hugging his neck. 

Fleet is dead, in a twisted heap, with his mouth hanging open. Swift fights with himself as his wolf begs for his brother, but his rational side knows he needs to get to the pack. Tonic pressed as close to the surviving twin as he could manage, using his presence to force him to keep running. We wedge Swift in, and I know just how hard it is to leave someone behind.

"Get to the trees!" Alpha yells as a flurry of arrows fills the air. 

Their sharp sounds became deafening as they hit the ground all around us. We dash for the trees, and I hold my as tightly as I can to my wolf to protect him from the onslaught; I do my best to conjure rapidly and keep the shield together, but the wind is fickle, and arrows are designed to slice through the air.

Yelps and cries surround us; everything goes dark as we hit the woods to hunker down in the brush. The trees sound alive as the pack shuffles in and hides low in the underbrush, though, with the lack of leaves, no one is doing much hiding. 

"Nicolas." I hear Tonic. 

I glance up and realize my small group is staring at us. 

My eyes drift, spotting that Alpha has two arrows in his shoulder. "Shit! Randy!" I slide off hurriedly, only to cry out in pain, an arrow protruding from my thigh. I shielded my mouth and turned my head away, knowing a scream would give our position away and that I hadn't reached a point of immense pain yet. My adrenaline was doing its job, and for now, I was relieved that my pants were dark.

Sota holds his hand up to stop me as my hand wraps around the arrow. "Stop! There's an artery in your leg; you could have nicked it! "

 Pulling a knife out of the holster around my hip, I slice the pants away and grimace at the arrow protruding from both sides of the skin. It appears to be mostly the edge that had been caught. "I think I'm ok." I breathe, though the pain is searing. 

Sota yanks one of the arrows out of Alpha; I feel light-headed from the stress as I turn to find Tonic. It was school all over again, and I wasn't coping well; magic bled to my fingertips, and my throat tightened with restraint. 

 "Fleet." Tonic pleads, "Someone needs to go back for Fleet."

Swift makes a strangled sound, hiding against Tonic's shoulder.

Alpha's muzzle tips back towards the direction of fire, "Fleet's dead, nothing for it. Our only job now is to survive this ambush, Nicolas.. are you willing to help us?"