Pain is a strange thing. When it happens, it sucks every bit of happiness out of your body and sometimes, it feels good to be pained.

Each beat of your heart becomes pain. Every step your body takes, becomes difficult. Each intake of oxygen becomes unbearable. All the senses abandon you to pain and nothing can be cruel than pain.

I watched Yang and Mia whispering to each other afraid they might disturb me. They were giving me a ride as just they helped me get out of the school. They have been driving around since thinking I'm unaware of what is happening. I wanted to be happy that I still have them but I was afraid to feel happiness. It will be taken as soon it will be given.

I closed my eyes and rested my head against the door as I pulled my knees up to my body. I heard nothing. I saw nothing as I kept on closing and opening my eyes.

'You can talk normally. I won't die.' My voice came as croaky when I said.

Mia leant off the seat to look back at me. Her eyes warm and worried. 'I know darling. I just don't want to disturb you.'

'What else can disturb me anymore now?' I shifted a bit.

'Everything's gonna be fine.'

I closed my eyes as I didn't want to talk about it. "Fine" was a word that never fitted in my world. I kept my eyes closed and tried to vacate my mind of all the memories of him but my mind was a big fan of those memories.

'Drop me at my home.' I told Yang who looked from the rear view mirror.

'No, not your home.' He answered and I could feel anger bubbling. 'You'll stay at Mia's.'

'Why?' I hissed. 'You're not to decide where should I stay or not.'

'I can Okay? You're not just Ryan's girlfriend. You're our friend.' He spat back. 'Unless you consider us too.'

'I do.' I had no idea why I was yelling at him.

'Then you should've told us about Logan.'

'What could you even do? Huh?'

'Knock him out till he isn't a problem anymore.' Yang answered and I rolled my eyes.

'This is all you can do. You and Ryan! You hurt people until they can't do anything!' I yelled and Yang abruptly stopped his car as he looked back at me. Hurt covered his face but I gritted my teeth and got out of the car. I felt suffocated in it anyway. 'I don't need you! None of you!' 

I walked and walked until I was sure they weren't  following me anymore. I used my legs as much as I could. My thighs stung but I didn't stop. My calves seemed to be broken but I knew if I'll stop, I'll start crying.

I glanced over my shoulder as I felt Ryan was coming but he wasn't. I swallowed a lump as I tried not to cry. I won't cry over a boy anymore. I should've learnt my lesson. I should've stayed away from him. Why did I even thought of helping him in the first place? Why did I even think that perhaps life would be more fair with me this time? Why did I not stop? I should've stopped. I should've stopped. I shouldn't've ....

I slid down a wall at the end of the street and snapped.

Tears involuntarily slipped down my cheeks one by one and I didn't hold them back this time. It hurt. Each part of me hurt. It felt as if someone had taken my heart out. It reiterated as if someone had squeezed my insides till nothing is left. Bit by bit, tear by tear, breath by breath, my heart cracked. My shoulders were heavy from the hurt as voices wailed inside my mind.

'Jane!' Someone yelled my name but I didn't respond neither did I look up. I didn't want anyone to see me. I just wished to dissipated from this world. For just once, I didn't want to live anymore.

'Jane!' I just kept on crying. 'Oh, god here you are. Mia! Jane's here.' Someone shook my shoulders. 'Jane, hey, are you okay?'

It was Yang. 'Go away.' I told him.

'No,' he said sternly and I began hating his guts. 'Come on.'

I didn't budge from my place as he tried to make me stand up. He sighed, knees by my side and awkwardly patted my shoulders. He was totally not affectionate type. 'Listen, we're gonna go home, watch a movie, er ... eat some ice cream and stuff and talk.'

'I don't want to talk.'

'Okay we won't but get up.'

I shook my head again. I knew I was acting like a child but I didn't want to go with him. He'll make fun of me like everyone does. 'Leave me alone Yang. Like everyone does. I'm worthless.'

'Hey, no.' He made me look up at him and I did. 'You're not worthless and I'm not gonna leave you alone. We're here with you and will stay. Yeah?'

'Then why did he left me?' My voice cracked. Another tear slipped down my cheek and he finally hugged me. I hid my face in his shirt as I cried my heart out. He stroked my hair just like Ian would.

Like Ryan would.

I opened my eyes and saw Mia running towards us but unconsciousness came by and I let myself drift to it.

***

'Hey,' Mia slowly opened the door and peeked. 'Good morning.'

I tried to suppress a smile but failed all at once. 'I brought you some breakfast.' She walked towards the bed with a tray filled from food I didn't what to eat.

'Thanks.' I said as I drank the water to bring some relief to my dried throat.

She placed her hand on mine. Her eyes were worried like a mother taking care of a ill child. 'You want to go to school?' She asked carefully.

At the name of the school, my stomach churned as I remembered the yesterday events. 'No.' I answered.

'Okay.' She slid the tray in front of me. 'Have some. I'll come back soon.'

I simply shook my head. She hugged me and giving me some more advises to take care of myself, she left.

After she closed the door behind, I placed the tray on the nightstand and laid down on the bed. I swiped my tongue over my dried lips and drift off to sleep again.

I woke up with someone calling my name.

No, let me correct, yelling my name.

I stood up with a jerk and got out of Mia's room. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach when I saw Ryan standing downstairs and calling my name. He didn't see me yet so I hid behind the wall as I watched Yang coming towards Ryan and stopping him. 'Woah bro, slim it there.'

'I want to see Jane.'

'No, not yet.' Yang told him and Ryan was taken aback with surprise.

'Why not? She's here isn't she? Let me talk to her.'

'Ryan, I think it's best if you don't.' Mia told him and internally, I was happy they both did. I didn't want to see him. Not now at least.

'I just want to talk to her.' Ryan ran hand through his hair. 'Let me—let me talk to her.' He made an attempt to move past Yang but he pushed him back again.

'Ryan, not now.' Mia said as she blocked his way too.

Ryan seemed frustrated with both of them as he looked up to the stairs but I hid back again. 'What is wrong with both of you?' Ryan drew his eyebrows together. 'Did she told you not to let me speak to her?'

'No, she's sleeping.' Mia answered. 'You better go.'

'No. I need to talk to her.' He pushed Yang away but Yang, being stronger, pulled him back.

'Told ya bro,' Yang hissed. 'No means no. Leave her right now.'

'What the fuck bro?' Ryan asked frustratingly. 'I just need to talk to her.'

'Not now. You'll mess up.'

Ryan punched Yang and Mia gasped. 'I know what I'll do or not.' He was to walk upstairs before Yang came from behind and clutching his shirt, punched him back.

'Yeah? Like you left her in the school because you knew what to do?' At this, Ryan punched Yang on his face.

'Let. Me. Talk. To. Her.' Ryan said sternly but before he could punch Yang again, Yang gave him a harder punch, the one that made a gasp leave my mouth and Ryan's lip busted as blood oozed down.

Yang grabbed a handful of Ryan's shirt. 'Listen to me, .' Yang used his threatening tone that even I felt shivers running down my spine. 'You are messed up. She's too fucking hurt and together you'll break the only knot that's keeping you both shuckers alive.' Yang let go of Ryan's shirt. 'Go home bud. Come back when you know you can get her back.'

Ryan's eyes flickered up to me. I didn't hide away rather looked in his eyes. His brown eyes lost their warmth and he seemed rather desperate. He didn't say anything but walked away.

Just like he did before.

oOo

I have never written about a breakup and now that I have, I'm feeling too freaking sad. 🥺🥺
But sometimes, a fall is necessary for you to learn to get up.

I know this chapter had almost nothing but it was necessary. Even the strongest break apart. It was a short chapter, I know, but it was a quick chapter. You should know that.

I'll be posting soon. This chapter has been written of me sitting in a car gong to northern areas because, well, I can't just leave Afar now can I?

I just want to thank all of those who have accompanied me this far. Thank you so much for reading. I'll see you again now in a month. So, the next chapter will be in a month. Thank you for your patience.

Ha, just kidding.

I'll post one soon.

But for now, tell me how was the chapter?
Did you feel Jane's pain?
And what about the last scene? I personally felt really bad for it.
And what do you think about Yang and Mia? Honestly I'm crushing over Yang now 😂😂

Ok Afartherers, see ya!

Love 💕, huz