'There you go sweetie.' I handed a cup of hot chocolate to a girls and collected the money.

'Thank you.' She chanted.

'Your welcome.'

She went out and just as she did, my mind trailed on how I would squeeze out the time for Ryan's practice. It got impossible for me to help him practice as working for four hours straight after school was hectic.

His performance was on 30th December, on Sunday and now, it was already 19. I texted him that I couldn't make it today and he said that he was fine by it and that he'll practice by himself but I was not fine. I wanted to help him but I was just struck.

I opened the cashier register to put in the money when the bell wailed and I looked up expecting a customer.

'What's with you, girl?' Sarah picked up a plate before me, as she asked.

'How would I help Ryan, Sarah?' I turned around and asked her. 'Going home at eight, I get so exhausted.'

'I'll cover for you.'

'No, I didn't mean it that way.'

'But I did. You can take two hours off shift and help him practice.'

'But then you'd have to overwork. That is not right.' I furrowed. How can I put my responsibility on her?

'It is fine. My boyfriend is overseas and I get bored at home alone. I can use some extra work.'

'But ...'

'Oh, hush. Your needle struck at just one word. Like it always does when you are worried but you don't have to. I have it all covered.'

'You sure? If you feel anyway pressured or tired, just call me, okay?'

She rolled her eyes. 'Okay, now. You should be going.'

I hugged her, said thank you, before I grabbed my backpack and ran out of the cafe and into my car.

I texted Ryan.

Me: I'm coming over.

He replied after a little while.

Ryan : Sweet ;)

I went to his house and when he opened, I had to narrow down my goofy smile and had to take deep breaths to calm my stomach.  It was thethered into a tangled mess of butterflies and birds. 'Âme.' He breathed. I always loved how he'd breathe my nickname.

'Hey,' I said. 'I'm sorry for earlier. I couldn't make up enough time.'

'Come on in now.' He clasped my wrist and dragged me in. 'Hungry?'

'I'm fine.' I said.

'Hey, I was thinking about your performance. Is it going to be same like before?'

'Not really. The secretary of the producer called me and gave me some ideas. I have a meeting with her tomorrow to discuss them.'

'That is good.'

Then, we practiced.

He and I would wear headphones connected with the mic to make sure that he was doing good. We worked only on the first verse just. I wanted to take things slow, but better and apparently, he was fine by it too.

20 December

'I'm going!' I yelled in the empty house before I set off to Ryan's. Just as I was about to knock on the door, it was opened automatically by him.

'Oh hey,' he said.

'Are you going somewhere?' I asked him as my eyes drawled his clothes that consisted of a denim jacket over his black shirt and pair of jeans.

'Was going to meet grandma.' He answered.

'Oh, Okay.' I said and now I was feeling stupid to stand there just like that.

'Wanna come?' He offered.

My eyes sparkled. 'Sure.'

We headed to the hospital and entered in the room but I was mostly hiding behind Ryan for what reason, I , myself didn't even know. 'Ryan,' her grandma smiled at seeing his grandson.

I remembered her when I visited last time to tell her the happy news that Ryan is selected and she was okay-looking back then but now, she seemed really sick. Her skin was paler, she was skinnier and her hand had a drip attached to it. But above this all, the sparkle in her eyes remained same.

Ryan kissed his grandma on her forehead as I nodded at her but she asked me to give her a hug and I gave her a -you-are-laying-and-I-have-to-bend-And-give-you-a-awkward-hug hug. 'Hello, How are you?' I asked her softly and she smiled at me.

At this moment, it drew upon me how much a motherly smile means only if it is motherly enough.

It had been decades since I felt one. She was genuinely happy and she made no try to hide her emotions. She and Ryan were like an open case of feelings and emotions. If Ryan says he is happy, he is happy. If he says he's not, then he isn't. You don't need to ask twice for his eyes say all.

We couldn't stay there for long enough as visiting hours were coming to an end so Ryan kissed her grandma again on her forehead and promised her that he'll be visiting her tomorrow and left the room.

I leaned in and went straight to a hug that she was excited to return. 'You are an amazing girl.' She said. 'It had been my dream to see him fulfilling his dream and singing is his dream and you are helping him achieve it. Thank you for taking care of my son.' She said as she patted the back of my hand. I smiled. 'Don't let him quit on his passion. It keeps him alive,' I couldn't stand with half bent so I settled on the chair beside her bed as she said, 'after his parent's death, he was alone and he left everything. It's been so long I've seen him happy Janelle. Don't let him leave his passion.'

I nodded while I promised it to myself. 'And don't leave him. He's such a good boy and so are you. Stay with him as long as it is possible to.' She said and I nodded again. I couldn't give her any other response as my words were lost. 'And forever can be made possible.' She smiled. A nurse came in reminding me that visiting hours were done and so I left with a heavy feeling clinging to my heart.

21 December

'Let's do it again.' I handed him the cup of water and urged him to sing that verse again. This was the most important one and if he'll lose on this one, he'll lose on all the song.

'I'm tired.' He took off his guitar and placed it at the corner. He was tired. I've been keeping him on edge for three hours straight and I felt a little of contrite.

'Okay, let's have a break.'

'Yeah.' He said as he ruffled his hair.

'What do you want to do?' I asked him.

'To take a nap.' He said as surprisingly, he laid his head on my lap. He closed his eyes as if totally relaxed.

'Ryan,' I was lost at words.

'Don't. Don't ruin it. It is so good.' Then he took my hair and placed it on my head, telling me to massage it.

Seeing his peaceful face, I couldn't help myself as I ran my fingers in his hair, admiring the texture and softness, twirling them in my fingers and paying with them.

It was so relaxing. Not only for him, but me too.

22 December

'I'm going.' I told the empty house only that it was not empty anymore as mom appeared just when I was going out.

'Where are you going?'

'To a friend's.'

'Ryan?' She inquired.

'Yes.' I confirmed.

'That boy is nice.' She said. 'But —

I was out of the house before I get to hear her conditions.

We visited his grandmother again and I was happy to see her happy to see me. We came back home and did a little of practice until I had to go home.

23 December

Sarah couldn't make it to the cafe so I had to take the shift which was fun and tiring in its own way. Winter holidays begun providing me the best opportunity to help Ryan practice. I made it to three hours of practice with Ryan until I fell asleep on his shoulder again.

24 December

Sarah was back for which was I was grateful. I went to Ryan's home and we practiced again.

Christmas decorations were on the peak and so I stayed at his home, to help him decorate his house. We never decorate it so I discovered a new feelings and fun at doing it. He wanted it to be the most beautiful one as he will be bringing her grandma back to home from hospital for just Christmas

25 December

We couldn't practice as Christmas was in the way. I just got out of the shower with a towel that was being rubbed on my hair only to be surprised by Ryan sitting on my bed with a wide and heartwarming smile. He wore a white hoodie that looked so freaking good on him with pair of denim jeans.

'You don't get to enter anyone's room like this.' I said.

'Merry Christmas to you too.' He stood forth and kissed me on the cheek.

I smiled. Though we didn't celebrate Christmas, the refreshment told the tale of its importance for him. 'Merry Christmas.'

I turned around to put my towel on the dresser when I spotted a box wrapped up in a red and green gift wrapper with a big bow on the top. I picked it up. 'Did you—?'

'It's not much.' He had his hands in his jeans pockets with his shoulders slumped as if he was nervous. 'I was planning to give it to you for so long.'

I unwrapped the box and opened it. 'Oh my,' I gasped. 'It's beautiful.' I took out a silver bracelet that had a sapphire blue sparrow hanging with two little baby blue shimmery butterflies that were exactly the colour of my eyes.

'Did you like it?' He was still asking shyly and I hugged him so tightly.

'I loved it.' I said as he hugged me back silently voicing his feelings.

***