I stayed by Ian for the whole night.

Holding his book close to my heart, I searched through any reason that could lead to his this horrible decision but all other pages were either torn or in their perfect condition depicting few traces of his story he was working on.

I threw my head back and closed my eyes. My mind reminisced the scenes I was so grateful that occurred today. Ryan's look. Ryan's touch. Ryan's warmth. Ryan's smile. Ryan's hug. Ryan's smile. This day was all devoted to him. His one look carried the whole universe in it like a delicate petal. His one smile faded the lights of the whole world. His warmth shooed away all the coldness that ever bit my body.

This, is what happiness is.

But why was I thinking about him? What aura he had accommodated that kept on beguiling me? I couldn't afford another relationship with any other boy. Two years ago, a relationship with Logan gave me scares not only in my heart but on my body too.

Sleep, like a peaceful lullaby, came and took away all my worries that had weaved them as a perfect routine in my life. I needed it. I so badly needed it.

With a tiniest cry of a baby bird, my eyes popped open and I found myself on Ian's bed with covers draped over me. I blinked a few times until my eyes adjusted to the intruding lights and panic drew over me as I didn't find Ian.

I quickly flung away the covers and ran outside the room. 'Ian!' I called out. 'Ian, are you in there?' I came inside and knocked on the bathroom door. 'Ian, please answer me.' No answer came.

I ran out again and down the stairs. 'Ian!' I yelled and was about to call his mobile until I stopped by in front of the kitchen and found him, cooking with headphones struck in his ears, completely lost in the rhythm and his cooking. I slapped him hard on his back. He turned around with a confused expression until it softened and took out his headphones. 'Ow! You hit like a man.' He said.

I instantly threw myself over him. 'And you whine like a girl.'

'Good morning kiddo.' He hugged me back

'You nearly gave me a heart attack.'

He laughed. 'What's wrong?' I furrowed as I broke our hug.

'What the heck do you mean "what's wrong"?' I folded my fingers as quotation marks.

'Well, you were sleeping in my room.' Ian flipped over his pancake.

'And what about the part where I slept with your diary?' Ian stiffened for a minute second until he flipped the pancake again and slipped it on the plate.

'I didn't quite notice.' He poured the mango juice in two glasses and placed it on the counter.

I furrowed. 'How could you not?' I moved towards the counter and sat on the bar stool with Ian, placing my pancakes in front of me and began eating his.

He shrugged. 'I just didn't.' That was when I noticed how tired he looked. How the shine from his eyes had began to fade into the dark. How his shoulders were slouched, with bleary-eyed and unshaven, he sat at the table, munching his pancakes slowly. This was the tiredness that didn't need sleep, but much more than that.

'You have started drinking?' I proposed a question. His already slowed pace halted down much further but he didn't look up. I jerked my face in his direction. 'Last night your friend dropped you.'

'That—' he choked on his word. 'That's quite nice of him. I'll call him thanks later.'

'Uh huh.' I eyes him. 'Ian,'

'Yes.'

'Stop it.' I said. 'Tell me what happened.'

'There's nothing worthy telling you.' Ian chugged down his juice.

'I think you forgot that I'm the member of this house as well.' I told him rather sternly. I was getting furious at him. He never hid anything from me before and if he's hiding it now, then, something big must've happened and I needed to know it.

Ian faked a smile. 'Yes, kiddo I know.'

'Ian, tell me. What happened?' I demanded.

'Nothing.'

'I found your diary.' Ian's fork slipped from his hand to on the plate. 'I quit? What are you planning to quit?'

Ian closed his eyes as if calming himself. He picked up the strap of his bag. 'I'm getting late for college.'

'Ian!' I called. 'Tell me. What happened that you took that big decision? What are you quitting? Why did you start drinking? What is happening?'

'Jane stop.' He said but I didn't.

'Ian, Listen to me.'

'BECAUSE,' he turned around to face me. 'THIS IS MY LIFE. AM I ALLOWED TO LIVE IT WITHOUT BEING QUESTIONED?' I leaned back in my chair, terrified of Ian's outrage. 'I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. FOR God's SAKE! JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!'

Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched water, oozing fire. He never yelled. He never shouted. Never at me anyway. I choked back my tears. Those wild flares in Ian's eyes drowned away and terror washed over Ian's face as soon as he realised what he just said. 'Elle—I—' he looked down as if fighting with words. 'I—I need to go to college.'

With this, he sprinted out of the house and I ran to my room to calm myself but pacing around the room, holding my head in my hands, shushing myself, didn't work. Finally, my little of self control worked, and the tears didn't stream down, rather bobbled up around my iris, blurred my vision, but finally vanished away.

In a torpid state, I got ready for school that seemed nothing but a hell to me. Besides, I needed to talk to Mia too. Just as I moved towards the nightstand to fish my phone in my pocket, it buzzed and Mia's name popped up. I picked it up. 'JANELLE MARGOT! ARE YOU COMING OR WHAT?!' I had my phone ten metres away from my ear just in case.

No, kidding. 5 metres.

I'm serious now.

'Jeez, I'm coming.' I gave myself a last glance and picking up the keys from downstairs, left.

'Morning.' Mia chirped.

'Morning.' I replied and wore my seatbelt waiting for her to drive.

'Someone's looney here.' Mia said as she began driving.

'I'm not.' I said.

'Shut up. Tell me.' She demanded.

I heaved a long sigh and looked outside the window. 'Ian and I had a fight.'

'Oh my,' she halted the car. 'Is everything alright? You guys never fight.'

'I know. Can you drive? We're in the middle of the road besides we're getting late.' I tried to change the topic. I never liked telling people my problems. What is the best they can even do? Worsen it.

'Janelle Margot, now that's not a very good try for changing the channel.' She started the car anyway and began driving.

'I know Mia. I'm just, too tired to talk about it.' I leaned my head against headrest and sat more comfortably.

'You didn't get to rest the previous week did you?' Mia's voice held the kind of sympathy that upon hearing, simply made me internally happy. That's why friendships are important. When strangers turn into your soulmate, you never know.

And vice versa.

'Yeah.' I admitted. It was true. I had the little of sleep the last week and last night shook me to bones that getting good sleep was far behind the imagination. 'Last week was tiring.'

'You did pretty good job though.' Mia praised and I smiled.

'Thanks.'

'So ... ' Mia trailed off.

'So?' I asked. I was in no mood in solving riddles.

'What's up with you and Ryan?'

'Er ... excuse me?'

'You know what I'm talking about.'

'No, I have no idea what you are talking about.'

'Do you like him?' She suddenly asked.

I snapped my head off the head rest. 'Mia! No.'

'I have been noticing.'

'Oh god!' I hit my head at the head rest again. Now my headache had started to kick in.

'Come on, tell me.'

'What? There's nothing to tell you.'

But there was something else waiting for me. Right in front of me, waiting for me to survive it; school.

Hell, here I am.

***

'Hey did you guys see this?' Anastasia showed me and Mia a picture but I considered picking up my backpack, placing it on the table, and digging my head in it to block all the noise and get rid of the headache.

'Shh ... ' Mia shushed her.

'Oh,' Anastasia sounded confused but she finally shut up and I was glad for her. 'Ok.'

'HEY GUYS!' I jumped at the chair as Yang and Noah greeted us at the table.

'Hey,' I greeted. 'Your enthusiasm could be fatal.' I again, fished my head in the backpack. My headache was just increasing. I couldn't afford to spend  the rest of the day at school.

'What's with Jenny?' Noah asked.

'She's just er ... tired.'

'Is it because of the practice?' Ryan's voice reverberated in my ears and I could feel losing myself and decided not to pick up my head but I did anyways. A delicious smell helped me pick up my head. A smile crawled up to my lips as I saw a cup of hot chocolate in front of me.

'Heaven ...' I sang as I picked up the cup. 'Who brought this?' I asked. All the fingers instantly rose and pointed to Ryan. He smiled.

'Thank you!' I breathed in the aura again before taking a good sip.

'Your welcome. So, are you tired because of the practice?'

'No,' I said too suddenly, 'I'm perfectly fine.'

He arched his eyebrow. 'You suck at lies Âme.' Let's not think about how my heart fluttered at how he called me by my nickname.

I said, let's NOT talk about it. Thank you.

'I do not.'

'Your nose get's wrinkled a little every time you lie.' He pointed out and my eyes widened. Did he just ...?

'No it doesn't.' A snap heard a I looked up to see Noah taking a picture. He then lowered the camera , zoomed in the picture.

'Yeah dude, it gets. See, Jenny, he's right.' I gave Noah a death glare who silently placed his phone back in his pocket. 'Forget as if it didn't happen.' He said quietly.

Yes, I was good at giving death glares.

Yes, this was the only thing I was good at.

Yes, my nose isn't wrinkling now.

Ryan looked at me with that calculating look of his. 'Tomorrow, you have a day off from work. Yeah?' He asked out of blue.

My eye twitched. 'Yeah?' I asked rather answer.

A smile appeared on his face. 'Be prepared.'

***

Hello Afarthers! How are ya guys! Things fine? Yeah? Nice.

So, this was supposed to be a Christmas gift for all my foreign readers out there but my laziness simply stood in the way and here I am, giving you your gift, 12 hours later. Yay me!

Well, I was thinking to write it further more but I now think It's enough. No, scratch that. Actually mate, lemme Tell ya a little secret now.

IT'S TWO IN THE MORNING AND MY EYES ARE BURNING AND MY FINGERS ARE ABOUT TO SNAP! But who cares, I love you guys to bones that I can write for you guys even later than this.

I'm kidding.

No I'm not.

Yes, I am.

Well, this A/n has gotten insanely long now. Please forgive any mistakes in the chap. I haven't edited it now. As I mentioned my little secret up there 👆. Thank you for patiently reading.

Comment, vote, share, follow if you think it is worth to.

Don't be a silent reader

I'll see ya soon.

Love 💕, huz