"We all eat lies, when our hearts are hungry."
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'Thank you for coming at Joe's.'

I told the customer as I handed her her hot chocolate with marshmallows and returned her the change. I picked up the plate from the counter and turned around place the plate in the basket of dirty dishes that were being washed by Elijah.

'Hi, Can I have one Mocha Latte?' I smiled as I recognised the voice and nodded. I turned around to switch on the steamer but all my smile faded away when I registered Ryan in the condition he has never in. His bangs fell  loosely on his forehead and his eyes were sleep deprived and blood shot. Bags draped beneath his eyes like he had stopped eating.

He still looked handsome though.

I made him the latte and he, didn't even look up but murmured thank you and sipped the latte straight after I put it down. 'Fuck.' He sweared as he felt the hotness of the latte on his tongue.

I handed him the tissue and he took it and instead of wiping his face, he fished it in his pocket.

'Ryan, it was for ...' he looked up at me as I said his name but I chose not to speak further. After the latte cooled down a bit, he drank it all at once. Just as I wrapped my fingers around the cup to pick it up, Ryan wrapped his around mine instead and took my elbow.

'How's your arm? Has it healed?' He asked as he inspected it. I had stopped wearing bandage and Ryan ran his thumb gently over the bruise. I jerked my neck to my side and watched him looking at the bruise so damn concerned.

When I didn't reply, he lifted up his eyes and there I saw, the sadness he was trying so hard to hide but he just didn't have that cold epitome. He was yellow. Warm and bright but now, he looked grey. Dull and tired.

'I wish I could see your bruises too.'

He closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair simultaneously leaving mine. 'It's not like that.' He trying to persuade.

'Ryan, I'm sorry for my bad language, but you look like shit.' I finally said what I had to.

'I'm fine.' He tried to look freshen up by widening his eyes a bit and putting up a small smile. It didn't work.

'Don't you know its meaning has changed now?' I remarked. 'Now, would you tell me or do you need one more latte?'

'How do I know I'm safe with my secret with you?' Ryan raised his eyebrow.

I shrugged. 'If you wouldn't know, you wouldn't've come here.'

'Right.' He said and placed with the cup in front of him.

After a while, he finally said. 'My Grandma's in the hospital. She has lung cancer. We only got to know it on Friday.' Ryan explained so plainly as if he was asking me to pass him the salt.

'Oh, I'm so sorry.' I said. 'How is she now?'

'Okay I guess. Been crying whole night.'

I placed my hand on his gently. 'Ryan, this isn't the only problem. Is it?'

Ryan looked up at me, bewildered that I guessed and sad why I did. He nodded his agreement.

'Can you share your problem with me?' I asked Ryan slowly.

He diverted his eyes back to me and tried to calculate my emotions within them. Deciding if he would tell me or not. If he could trust or not. 'If I give you my trust. Would you you give me yours?' He queried me silently.

I didn't know the answer so I threw my gaze down. Wouldn't I?

I heard Ryan sign before he gave in and spoke. 'I don't have money.' He whispered silently. 'Ma's in stage 3A of the NSCLC. She needs to have pretty much tests and treatment and if these won't work, she'll need to be operated before it gets out of hand.'

'So you were thinking of selling your guitar?' I asked the dumbest question that seemed wise at that moment. Only to me though, I wasn't sure of Ryan.

Ryan's eyes widened. 'How do you know that?'

'Noah.' Was all I said.

Ryan stared at me but shook his head. 'That dumbass.' He murmured.

'You know, selling that guitar won't work.' I said after a prolonged pause in our conversation.

Ryan looked up from making those imaginary circles on the counter with his thumb. 'What do you mean?'

'I mean, you will sell the guitar, get the money, have it spent on your grandmother, and then what?' I proposed a question. 'You'll need more money Ryan. I don't know how much your parents are playing their role in this but, if you're willing to have her treatment done by your money, then it won't work.'

'Then, what should I do?' Ryan placed his chin on his hand that was rested on his elbow on the table. 'Ms, Janelle, suggest me.'

'You have guitar it means you play it.'

'Yes.'

'And you sing too.'

'Yes. So?'

I pondered over my next statement. 'Be a contestant in The Forte.'

'What?' Ryan exclaimed. I picked up the cup and placed it in the basket. 'The Fortes? The damn talent show? That airs on National Television? I'm not out of my mind Âme.'

'Neither am I. Just think of it. You have some talent deep down. You could use it Ryan. I saw it's billboard. It has a prize of One Million dollars along with a golden trophy. If you win, you can easily have your grandma being operated.' I mentally fist bumped in the air as I came up with that idea but Ryan wasn't happy at all.

'You're crazy.' He said. 'You know when I sing, I sound like a dead zombie being choked and simultaneously getting downed in the water. I'll make a good fool of myself in front of whole America. Nice.'

'No you won't. I've heard your singing.' I told him.

'When?' A lot of times.

'Noah.'

'That dumbass.' Ryan murmured again.

'But sing for me.'

'What? Hell nah.' He said.

'Just do it. For once. Any line, from any song. Please.' I said as I looked up in my phone to check if entering were not closed.

'Âme, it's ridiculous.' Ryan argued.

'Would you just sing?' I scrolled up and there were the admission forms for The Forte. Yes!

'Ryan please.'

'I ... ' he was probably having a marathon race, having to figure out what to sing and he came up with the song. 'You know you love me, I know you care. Then shout whenever, and I'll be there.' Ryan sang but was still confused.

The admissions were open till 5th of November and today was 2nd. Another yes! 'See? You've got such a nice voice. I mean you literally made that shitty song sound so good. I wonder what you'd be able to do with good lyrics and melody.' I said and opened the admission form.

'Âme, if you're thinking that I'll be going in that ridiculous talent competition and make a good fool of myself, then you're absolutely wrong. It's never gonna happen.' Ryan persuaded.

'But why? You'll get one million if you win.'

'If I win.' Ryan pointed his finger. 'There's a condition there, darling.'

'And you're gonna fulfil that condition.' I told him.

'Never.'

'You will.' Ryan got up from stool.

'I'll be heading home now. Enough of this craziness. I'm tired.' Before Ryan could take a step forward, I lurked forward and grabbed him by his biceps, pulling him back down on the stool.

'Listen to me, go in this competition, give it a try. So what, if you'll make a fool of yourself? People dance and sing in the streets to earn themselves money and you can't even go in a damn competition at that big stage and show off your skills?'

'But I don't have any.' Ryan said.

'Oh you have.' I said.

'How do you know?' Ryan asked.

'Hello, there is a thing called "believe in someone". Ever heard of it?'

'Âme I'll go in that competition and get the money and shit. But what about the money I need now?' He pointed out and I was about to loose my motivation but the bulb in my mind flickered in life.

I couched down and unzipped my bag. There was the money, stashed in my bag by Ian, four days ago safe and sound. I fished it out and placed it on Ryan's palms. 'I don't know how much, but I'm sure it'll help you out till this competition goes.'

Ryan's eyes widened in surprise and he instantly snatched his hand away. 'Are you crazy? Yes you totally are. I'm not gonna take that money Jane.'

'Why not? Take this, use this, win the money and return it to me. Simple.'

'No,' Ryan took a step forward, 'never will this happen. Maybe the competition but never the money. Not from you.' Ryan poked his index finger at my forehead. 'Do you get it?'

'It means you like the idea of the competition?' I arched my eyebrow.

My hopes arose, my expectations grew and I was already imagining Ryan receiving that big cheque of one million with a promise of a life time change.

But Ryan shook his head no. 'No, it won't be happening. I'll be going now. Good night.' He said.

Just as he was about to go out of the cafe, I called from behind. 'Hey, just remember, you'll be regretting this for the rest of your life if you don't take this opportunity.'

Ryan didn't say anything but I heard him murmuring good night once again and he was off. His car revved and was out of town.

I closed the shop and taking a bus, I reached back home that was dead silent. The keys let me in finally, and I ate up to my appetite until I locked myself again in the room.

Disappointment drew upon me as I saw no notifications of any message from Ryan. I wanted him to get in. I don't know why, but I just believe in him. It was that strong believe, that I was sure won't disappoint me but at this per moment, Ryan's lack of messages played the role.

I texted him .

Me: The entries are open till 5th. Lmk when you've made up your mind.

I hit sent and went to sleep.

I knew it wasn't just a dream cause I merely have those. It felt as if there was a constant ring in my ears and when I gave a feeble struggle to open up my eyes, there was my phone ringing.

I picked it up and looked at the time. It was four in the morning.

Then, the screen brightened and a notification popped of a text message from an unknown. Who could he be?

But my uncertainties were blew away when I read the message.

Unknown : I submitted the damn form. It's still a shitty idea. If I pass on level one, you'll give me one thing.

I slept again with a big goofy smile.

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