He took a deep breath as he awaited the brilliant light to blind him. Oh why did he have to go first? It was Gon's idea so shouldn't he be the one to start?

The sound of stadium lights flickering caused Killua to choke. He wasn't ready.

One by one, row by row, the lights flickered on, glaring at Killua as if daring him to make a mistake. He felt his chest tighten. It wouldn't be so hard right?

With the lights on, it didn't take much longer for the backing music to start. That was the problem; backing music. No words, no lyrics, no help. Just the music. Just the instrumental.

It didn't matter either way. Killua would be lying if he said he didn't know the lyrics. He'd known them for years - sometimes they were the only words that kept him going.

The music kept playing and after years of listening for the cue, Killua opened his mouth. But no words came out.

He felt a small bead of sweat slowly slither down his forehead, a snake of betrayal. He didn't know what was more embarrassing - the fact that he had to do this or the fact that he missed his entrance.

Gulping, Killua scanned the audience, searching for any early signs of disapproval but there were none. None that he could see. That bothered him. Not the lights, although their effulgence reminded him of another word with the same first syllable, but rather he couldn't tell. He couldn't tell if the audience hated him or not. He couldn't tell, and that bothered him.

He had always had to be strong. As a Zoldyck it was his duty and no matter what he could-

🎶 -Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part- 🎶

Killua clamped both hands over his mouth. He didn't mean to say that out loud but then again he did. That's what he was here for. He wasn't here to be an assassin anymore. He was here to tell the world that-

🎶 -I bleed when I fall down- 🎶

It was the truth after all. He wasn't as strong as he made himself out to be. Ironically his skin was a lot more fragile than most. But not as fragile as his insides. Obviously not his guts but he wouldn't want to admit that the slightest words can cause him to-

🎶 -crash and I break down- 🎶

He thought he'd grown out of it. He thought it was only a phase because after all the years of his brother's-

🎶 -words in my head,
Knives in my heart- 🎶

Killua thought he could take anything but when Gon's words

🎶 -build me up- 🎶

It only made it a lot worse when -

🎶 -I fall apart- 🎶

That's why he'd do anything for Gon. He'd do anything for the one who made him his friend. He-

🎶 -can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything-🎶

Killua could feel his head rise and although the light burned his eyes, he didn't care. He could feel the music boiling from his stomach, the melody as the blood in his veins and the truth as a fragment as his soul. It was like a chain being snapped open; a padlock which had caged him even longer than Illumi's needle.

Killua's voice grew harsher with each words escaping his lips. Perspiration trickled in between raised goosebumps and he knew why he had to do this. He had to do it for Gon. He had to do it for his broken past. He had to do it for himself.

Suddenly, the tempo changed and he knew it was the final chorus. Taking a breath he knew he would choke this time. He felt his chest inflate and without so much as an ounce of friction, he felt his truth tumble out of him-

🎶 -And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head,
knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart-🎶

Killua closed his eyes as he braved himself for the final line but as the lights dimmed and an applause awaited from the person most important to him he knew he won.

"Wow! You never told me you could sing so well Killua!"

"You what?" Killua gasps, his voice shaky from the performance. "S-shut up! It's embarrassing..."

"Fine, but talent is talent even if you don't use it." Gon places both hands against the back of his head.

Killua glows scarlet causing him to cast his eyes downwards towards his shuffling feet. "Whatever... 🎼—I'm only human. 🎵"