Well,,, this is one hell of an update. I spent all day talking with the others over everything that happened and have permission to post all the details. I honestly find this SO fascinating bc it's like,,. Brain science is WILD man.

So basically, past few days I was front stuck. I could have others co con with me, but I couldn't fully leave the front and I had no idea why. I was locked in the front by the gatekeeper and barely anyone was talking to me so I figured maybe someone uncovered a bed memory or something and they were keeping me away from it.

Well this morning I wake up and cat immediately rushes to the front so fast it disassociated me for a second, shoves himself into co consciousness to talk to me and starts rambling on and on about how Lukas back.

And I'm like,,, BACK? TF YOU MEAN BACK???

L being the best boy he is shoved us both out of the front so we can talk properly and he'll take care of the morning routine. I'm blacked out for a bit, because the headspace is hard to reach for me as the host/core. But when I finally come to, who do I see?

Fucking Luka.

And a mystery man I've never seen before.

And then I get the full story.

Just recently the newest miraculous episode came out and understandably cat wanted to watch it. I won't spoil for those who haven't seen it yet, but there's a few lukadrien moments and Luka goes through some rough stuff. Cat is pretty upset over it, I mean that's his boyfriend he's watching get mentally tortured by his own villain shitty father. Understandably he'd be upset.

Although we did get this.

CRUMBS GUYS. LUKADRIEN CRUMBS.

And recently he's just been missing Luka really bad. So it all came to a head and he kinda cried over it all for bit and all those emotions triggered a dormant Luka we didn't know we had to wake up.

We knew he likely had a few dormant alters, some of us who've been around a long time remember voices and people that aren't around anymore. In particular we're convinced we had a Hiccup fictive in 2015-17 and he's since gone dormant. So it's not surprising that a dormant alter would wake up eventually. But none of us knew we had a Luka fictive.

He explained he formed around the time Adri did a few years ago, but our communication was practically nonexistent back then so none of us really knew of each other. All he was was a fragment really, holding onto some memories and such. And eventually he went dormant for unknown reasons. And all this emotion cat has been brewing specifically directed at him made him wake back up. And now we have communication with each other, he was actually able to see and hear the others properly and move around the headspace.

So now we know what's past that fence in the back of the headspace none of us can go to, it's where the dormant alters are. Because THATS where he woke up.

Understandably as soon as he found his way to the others and he saw cat they practically leapt on each other because holy shit someone from my source is here too.

He was also understandably very confused, so L being co host stepped in and had the gatekeeper block me out to prevent any system bleeds, further splits, rapid switching etc. they all worked together over the next few days to figure out what happened and put all the bits together. We think Luka went dormant but Cat didn't because has a set role as soother, he has tasks to do and he can't just drop off the face of the earth. But Luka was just holding onto some memories so he could comatose himself for a bit.

Apparently it feels like waking up from a really long nap. One of those naps where your mouth is dry, your skin has dents from the sheets in it, your eyes are all scratchy and you're sweating buckets. It knocks the wind out of you for a bit.

And then we get to the new guy I've never seen before.

We THINK that Luka waking up opened a pathway of communication in the brain, which helped this newbie finally make contact. But we're not too sure exactly what went down or why he couldn't contact us for a while.

Damien, a brain made, formed 8 (almost 9) months ago. Specifically in response to the body going on T. One of the side effects is major horny, and I never really felt it. I just figured I was coping well, turns out it's because it was all going to HIM. He formed as a sexual protector because the body was suddenly changing really fast and to prevent any stress and such he split off me and took on all of the mental T effects. Of course we all feel the effects of T since we're all in the body, but he gets it the most and handled it well.

He'd been hiding out in an area if the headspace I personally can't access but others can, but it's kinda empty so we rarely go there. For whatever reason he had a hard time leaving that area, and that sudden shift in the communication when Luka woke up must have broken whatever barrier was blocking Damien and he was finally able to come say hi.

Funny thing is, I drew a character that looks very similar to him around the time he formed. I think he may have been bleeding into us a little trying to communicate and that's what gave me the idea to draw that character.

Even funnier, he has the same hair dye as Lukas canon sister. So when they first met he did a double take because this 25 year old tall, ripped guy had his sisters hair.

So wow, that was A LOT. 

Of course they wanted to try fronting, so I swapped out with L again and took the front so they could test the waters and be co conscious with me. I think they'll cope fine, they didn't seem too scared or dysphoric in the front, more tripped out than anything which is normal for a first time fronting.

Cat has been going ON and ON about how happy he is Lukas back, and I think it's safe to say L has a son in law now. I'm glad they're happy, but damn cat calm down. Any more rapid switching and you'll give us a headache.

Once I had the full story and all the introductions were done, I mentioned this account and all the online rules about keeping safe. Luka didn't seem to really care to much about fanfics, so I dunno if he'll ever show up on here. Maybe he will because cat does sometimes, we'll see.

But Damien? Oh the second he heard fanfic he was like "bitch you better let me in on that". So I definitely expect him to gatecrash and write smutty fanfics every so often. If he wants to make an intro at some point he's free to.

So that's the full story, our system couldn't went up by 2 because Cat was having some big kid emotions. Can't say I'm surprised really. I was wondering where the hell L went.

We're all ok, the body took it surprisingly well. We haven't had much of a migraine, or disassociated too much from everything. Mentally we're all alright, definitely kinda whiplashed from how out of nowhere this happened but no one's upset or scared or anything. Although cat, for the love of god DO NOT rush to fast to the front next time. My soul almost left my damn body.

Luka is as nice as you'd expect, he's pretty quiet and gentle. Same age as cat and just glad to be awake again and understand what's going on. He's picking up the role of a soother and he and cat will be tasked with making sure stress levels stay down. Literally they exist to have fun and be happy.

Damien is a riot, very nice but absolutely no filter and kinky as fuck as you'd expect from a sexual protector. He knows not to be too R18 around the sys teens though. 

And dude y'all wanna we how many switches happened today?

Fucking hell how did we not die of switch headaches.

I also set up a simply plural chat for all the new people and when I checked it just now I found this

They're so cute. I feel like a proud parent. I bet L's never gonna hear the end of this from Cat, not that his dad heart will mind seeing his kid happy.

So that's my fucking insane update. I'm gone from the headspace for only a few days and this shit happens, L I am SO sorry you have to deal with all the headspace chaos.

Although I'm very glad that we organised this and took it really well. It means all our work to improve communication and understand our plurality is working and paying off. When I first started thinking there were people in my head I couldn't even get a peep out of them, and now we're handling dormancy awakenings without any meltdowns.

There's still a lot we don't understand, how and why we formed, when the first split happened, how I can get better access to the headspace etc. but we've made progress, and I'm proud of everyone for working so hard together and largely staying out of conflict.

We went from 7 to 9 which is still pretty small for a system, but feels like a lot to me because I've been so used to only 7 and having a few that just don't front anyway. I'm curious to know how many we've had overall, those who went dormant or completely vanished I'll never know about until a memory comes up or someone wakes up. For all I know we could have cycled through 80 of the brain bitches.

TLDR: Cat has his bf back, L has a new son in law and I know where all the testosterone horny went now.

And if Damien really wants to get in on the fanfics he can, I half expect him to make his appearance here soon.