Lmao I'm hijacking the account because I'm bored and want to share my taste in fictional men with people. Hilariously despite being the literal sexual protector and major hornbag of the system, I don't have a boyfriend. Several friends with benefits lmao, but no boyfriend. Even funnier it was MY hyperfixation that caused Astarion and Moros to split, and they ended up dating each other. Rip me I guess. This will get super horny so minors and sex repulsed aces beware.

Anyway here's my comprehensive list of husbandos.

Number 1

My OG, my cocky bastard I want to have on his knees, my goth long legged morally ambiguous malewife.

Sebastian fucking Michaelis.

Especially in that fucking priest teacher outfit, that fit DOES things to me. I love men who act all high and mighty but are actually submissive little shits, and this man? Exactly that. Sure he's a demon that could snap a man's neck with one hand, but he's also a butler. A butler that has to do ANYTHING his master says. The way I'd have this mf on a leash like the dog he was named after.

Number 2

My most recent non human "oh shit I'm totally a monster fucker" crush.

MR FUCKING CRAWLING MY POOKIE BABY. Somnia put me onto this game and GOOOODDDD I need this man carnally. He's basically a puppy sub, a tall, slightly uncanny puppy sub. He crawls around, he gets exited when he sees you, he's obsessed with you and follows you everywhere, he wants to protect and impress you. Puppy house husband of a ghost. I need him. THE WAY I'D MAKE HIM WHIMPER I SSRJENDGEMZDHWEDUUMBDYE.

Number 3

Another OG dark hairy anime man.

OUGH tatted up androgynous goth men. Both what I am and what I like. Again with the non human would kill me given the chance type characters. Clearly I have a type, and that involves dark hair and dangerous non human being that's soft for one particular human. I need this man bent over his desk and begging I swear to fucking gods.

Number 4

Putting him on the list despite him having a boyfriend because he knows he's hot and won't care if I do.

Ffffffucking Astarion Ancunin.

This sweet talking, traumatised, blood sucking fruit of a man. I found out about Buldars Gate literally because I saw a body pillow of him at a con and went "god DAMN". You can dress him in some slutty ass outfits in came too, whole tits and ass out. AND you can fuck him in game too? Yeah I HAD to get into Buldars gate.

Number 5

Putting Astarions BF on the list too bc they're both fine as fuck.

Moros the man that you are.

Tits out, long hair, ripped, soft spoken tone, awkward darling. OUGH the things I'd do to him and his BF if they had an open relationship. And they know it too, and find it funny. They're an interesting crossover ship between fictives in this system that's for sure, but a damn hot one. I'm no home wrecker, but I am looking respectfully any time they kiss in front of us.

I COULD list literally every other man in the hades franchise, because they're all fine as fuck. But that'd take forever so let's just say I want to fuck all the men in hades and leave it at that.

Number 6

Another vampire are we surprised?

Marshall Lee, everyone's childhood bad boy crush.
The way his vampire AND human forms are so fine IN A CARTOON ASS ART STYLE??? How does this mf make dot eyes and noodle arms look SO good. Especially that fit ^^ oh my GODS. Ugh I love alt men. Alt men and femboys my beloveds.

Number 7

Speaking of femboys

UGH Link you're so pookie.

Twilight Princess is defs my fav Zelda game in terms of aesthetics and soundtrack, BOTW is my fav gameplay wise. But no matter the game or manga Link serves cunt in literally every adaptation. Fictive Link is one of my FWB pookies in sys and I just CANNOT get over how gorgeous this man is. It's always trans men, trans men are just built different in the beauty department.

Number 8

This one is my formal apology to all the aro aces out there.

Alatsor "that's the tea" radio fucker.

This fuck ass deer. This canonically ace character who wouldn't so much as look at me. This literal CANNIBAL.  He's a demon with tendril magic, he's cocky and needs to be knocked down a peg and cuts up a rug at the jazz club. He'd probably hate me but I can't deny he's hot.
Aces I'm so sorry, y'all just want your rep and here's my horny ass calling y'all hot anyway.
At least I got a chance w Angel, obviously I like his porn star ass too.

Alright I'll stop now. That's my list of characters I drool over, clearly I have a type.

Idk when Somnia is posting next, I just wanted to yap for a sec lmao. I'll write y'all some kinky shit again at some point, last time I did was one of the lemons over on Quotev. Gotta get back on the writing grind all I've been doing is drawing recently.

Ok bye I'll see myself out now.