Somnia edit: for some reason this didn't post yesterday. It was meant to be up then but here it is now I guess???

Ok so I bitched about this a bit on Insta but I can make a WAY longer post here so I'm doing that to.

SEASON 5 FINALE SPOILERS

Ok so-

My actual reaction ^^

I'm gonna get the good stuff out of the way first (there's not much) so I can rant super long. Starting with:

MY FUCKING MUMS EMINATH NATION RISE UP WBGEIDOEWIDB LOOK AT THEM OH MY GOD MY MUM IS BACK NATHALIE IS HEALTHY LOOK AT MUMS COOL HAT AKDBISBDIEIFJRIEBRIISIEJEIEIE THEYRE MY GAY MUMS I LOVE THEM.

And number two:

MY BOYFRIEND IS HERE AWBEBHEIEVDDODJ AND HE'S DOING COOL MAGIC FIGHTING SHIT LOOK AT HIM. man's truly is a snake with them snake hands look at him go. This is right up his alley I'm so proud of him :) fictive Luka has distinct exomemories of his family being into witchcraft so doing a whole miraculous magic fighting thing is totally something he'd do.

And finally,

AYO???? THIS IS SOME ANIME SHIT. You're telling me that tiny cat who is addicted to cheese and complains about getting out of bed is THIS???? God DAMN ok Plagg I was not expecting that.

Ok... now onto the negatives.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GABRIEL ERASING EVERYTHING HE DID SHIT???? EXCUSE ME????

Like are you fucking kidding me? That's straight up gaslighting. He literally went "I never did that to you" and then used that fucking wish to paint himself as a hero. HES AN ABUSER, HES MY ABUSER. I DON'T CARE HE DID IT ALL FOR MY MUM SHE WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED THIS!!!

I'm her pride and joy, I'm her baby, her one and only. She tried relentlessly for a child so much she even resorted to the miraculous that killed her. She loved me THAT much, she'd KILL Gabriel for what he did to me. Yes I'm glad she's back and I get to have a mum again, and good fucking riddance to Gabriel but THERES BETTER WAYS AROUND THIS.

Like???? You're telling me after 7 years and 5 seasons he WINS? HE GOT THE WISH??? And I, CAT NIOR, HIS SON DIDN'T GET TO FACE HIM?

There was this whole arc of me realising my abuse, trying to break free, standing up for myself and it would have been all wrapped up in a neat little character arc if I had found out he was hawkmoth, faced him and all he did and defeated him. That would have given me closure. That would have been me overcoming my trauma.

But no, he goes "all that abuse? Never happened lol" and fucking dies. And now canon me has to live with the effects of the trauma without remembering it. You know how fucking hard that is? To have triggers you don't understand because you don't remember? Because we fucking do, we're a system. Part of being a system is having blocked memories for the sake of survival. There's a whole 3 years of our life that almost none of us remember and that makes trying to deconstruct tiggers SO hard.

All that neglect, the gaslighting, the controlling, the manipulation, the threats of violence, the beating me up as cat noir, the WHITE ROOM TORTUE. ALL OF THAT, GONE. BLOCKED FROM MY MEMORIES ALL BECAUSE HE WANTED ME TO SEE HIM AS A HERO. HE WANTED TO COVER UP HIS ACTIONS.

LITERALLY MAGIC GASLIGHTING. LITERALLY HE USED THAT WISH TO NOT JUSY BRING MUM BACK BUT TO GASLIGHT ME INTO THINKING ALL THAT ABUSE DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Fuck I hate my source sometimes, doesn't help the creator is a cocky shit on Twitter who can't handle criticism. This feels like such a slap in the face to abuse victims, trauma won't just go away like that.

Canon me may have forgotten, but I won't. I never will, I'll know. I may not have every exomemory from canon but I have enough of them to know exactly what he did to me. I'll never forgive or forget, I hate him. I don't even call him dad anymore, L is my in sys dad. And he's way better than Gabe is.

Ok, that part of the rant over...

I understand there's some separation between me and my source so I understand that love square is endgame. Even though I'm kinda bummed I don't get it smooch Luka on screen I can at least smooch him in system. But I feel like they really fumbled the love square in later seasons. Like LB was such a bitch to me at times, I'll admit I was in the wrong too for being pushy at times too. But I feel like there was no real growth between me and Mari. Like it never went from crush to friends to lovers. It was just crush to lovers immediately without the slow build up of the relationship.

It's because they kept doing shit like cat blanc and ephemeral. They'd do some fake out episode and reverse so much progress. It feels so rushed. Like they did 4 seasons of fan service and then finally just rushed it all toward the end. Like I have better chemistry with literally everyone else.

But maybe I'm a bit biased because canon me is meant to be a cishet teenage boy and alter me is a masc leaning bisexual demi boy (enby??).

Overall, I think I'm done with my source. I'll check in here and there to see how mum and mum are doing and see Luka. But just CAN'T watch them fuck up the story over and over again. And it's a little awkward for me to see myself kissing my boyfriends ex girlfriend, but that's just a me thing.

And then there's Lila. I mean I hate her but I'm really not surprised she's the next big villain, they built that up since season 1 basically. I just wanna know what her motivation is??? Like is it just power for powers sake? Or is she actually that deranged and is doing ALL this because of a petty spat with Maribug? Honestly she probably is but that just seems like bad writing. At least gabe had an understandable motivation. Does that justify him? Absolutely not he's an abuser. But I can at least understand why in a grief stricken rage someone would go down that path.

Basically

Yeah.

Stan my mums though, I love them. EmiNath truthers stay winning.

That's my rant, I'll probably drop memes again soon

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