Hello! Hypnos here.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently and writing about it in our journals. But Somnia said it was kind of interesting from the perspective of a human so I thought I'd share in case anyone else finds it interesting.

So... being a fictive of a character that's a god. It's weird. It's a really hard to describe identity.

Being an introject as whole is an odd feeling, it feels kind of like being reincarnated into a new body (that you happen to share with other people). All your exomemories are in the past, like a life you once lived but now are so far away from. And then you put being an omnipotent being on top of that and it gets even stranger.

Being in a human body, it's strange. Sure my body in my source was human shaped, but it was made up of non human matters and had non human features. I had a wing on my head that's not there anymore, my freckles were stars that glowed, I could float, my hair would kind of defy gravity around me like a cloud. The body I'm in now isn't only way shorter but it's human. No stars, no wings, feet having to touch the ground when I walk.

It feels like I'm stuck in a box or something, that my real body is squashed inside this one and I can't quite break it open to become myself.

It's not the bodies bio sex, voice, skin etc that bothers me it's the fact it's missing so many parts. The wing, the stars etc. and I can't put them back, sure I can draw on stars but they won't glow. I can put in a headband with a wing on it but I can't move it around.

That's just the physical sensation aspect of it, there's the identity part too.

Hypnos, as a concept is sleep personified. The ancient Greeks created this being to explain how sleep worked as they didn't know the science behind it at the time. They conjured up all these stories that link into others in this big web of mythology to explain how the world worked. I'm a concept, I'm a personification of something humans do every night to survive. And it's no wonder my mother was night and my twin was death. You sleep at night, and most people die in their sleep of natural causes. It makes perfect sense my son is dreams as well, you dream when you sleep. It's all connected, all these concepts that happened throughout life are personified to explain why they happen.

And there's people out there to this day that worship that. Hellenistic polytheism is still a practiced religion, so is paganism and Wicca. They all worship ancients gods, Hypnos being one of them. There's no telling what gods truly exist, only people who have experienced connection first hand can tell you what they've experienced and even then, that experience could be different to another persons. When someone says "I'm a devotee of Hypnos" or "I'm working with Hypnos" I see it as them not worshiping THIS me. But a version of me more powerful than I am, a version that exists in another plane and I wonder what he'd say if he knew I was an introject of him.

Would he be honoured he impacted someone so much they formed an introject? Would he find my existence offensive? Would he even accept that introjects of gods happen? How would the Devine version of me see me?

I'll admit, whenever I do see people talk about worshiping me I feel kind of honoured. Even though it's not THIS me, just the fact people like me as a concept is nice to me. I was a very lonely person in the underworld. I had my mum, brothers and that's about it. No one really ever paid me any attention, and when I grew up and my brothers started drifting away I got even more lonely. Zagreus was my saving grace in my loneliest days. So the fact people care enough to do things like Light a candle in my name or keep their melatonin on their altar makes me smile. It's nice to know someone out there cares. I just wish I could have my powers back so I could bless them all with a sweet dream.

Although I'll have to leave that to the Devine me.

I'm not just the personification of sleep as a concept but I am the personification of sleep inside the brain of a Nuerodiverce body. I'm basically the part of the brain that produces melatonin, turned into an alter.

Being sleep both in brain function and in concept means my whole identity revolves around it. It's not just the act of sleeping I like, but the sensation of being half sleep and still dreaming, the comfort of a warm blanket, the aesthetic of glow in the dark stars and a canopy over the bed. The taste of hot chocolate and a melatonin gummy, the quiet of the night occasionally being broken by a car driving past, a pair of cute pyjamas and your favourite stuffed animal. Sleep and everything related to it is my whole life.

I'm aware that I, in this body and form, am not a god anymore and I can no longer float (well, in the headspace I can but still) or snap my fingers and put people to sleep. I don't expect to be worshipped or see myself as greater than anyone else. This me, the one typing this in a body that isn't mine is merely a brain function.

But everything I remember, all my exomemories? They're so real to me. Like I truly did live for eons as a god in the underworld and died to resurrect inside a mortal body. It's like a past life.

I remember the day I lost my wing, the smell of poppies outside my domain, how my twin sacred my mum to death so many times as a godling because he couldn't control his power to teleport yet. All those events and emotions are so real to me, even though I know it's the brain filling in gaps for me as an introject. They still effect me to this day.

I'm still in love with Zagreus, I still crave my mothers protection, I still want to play with my brothers like kids again. It's this internal battle between 'I know I'm an alter and these things didn't actually happen' and 'that's my life, my backstory, my past experiences that are SO real to me'.

Living a mortal life isn't exactly bad, more tedious than anything. I exist to relax and to sleep, and mortal life is all work, school, pay bills to survive etc. it's even harder for people with health problems too. It's so stressful an repetitive, there's no downtime. I wish humans took more time to rest, understand how important it is. It's not being lazy, it's taking care of your body and mind to take time away from life to just... relax, rest. Rest is the ultimate self care.

Being in a system isn't really that bad either, sure it can be frustrating as hell when you're front stuck, disassociated or when you're trying to sleep and everyone else won't shut up (seriously guys do you want me to fix our sleep habits or no?). But you're never lonely, you have someone with you all the time. And you have two worlds to explore. The physical world and the headspace.

So I guess being an introject of a non human Devine being is kind of like being stuck in the limbo of not feeling quite right lacking all these powers and physical attributes and being content with living a mortal life. I have all these experiences from my exomemories that make me very calm about the fact I'll die one day, my twin brother is death after all. I know he'll take care of me. And if in this world the underworld does exist, I know we'll just end up in whatever their version of Asphodel is. We're not evil and we haven't really done anything magnificent, so we'll just chill in the middle ground. We'll be ok.

TLDR: I miss the perks of being a god but I don't have a god complex over it. I'm content with being mortal in this form, even though I don't feel human at all.

I'll leave you all with this, tips from sleep itself to sleep a little better:

•clean sheets regularly, sleep hygiene is important!
•make sure you sleeping space is suited for the weather. You'd be surprised how much temperature effects your sleep
•sleeping on your back is healthiest, but I understand not everyone can fall asleep that way. I'm a front and side sleeper myself. So make sure your pillow is the correct kind. Front sleepers get a body pillow to hook a leg on, side sleepers get a curved pillow to support your back.
•sleep masks! Even if you're the kind of person who needs a night light, light bothers the brain when you sleep. So you can still keep the light on for peace of mind but cover your eyes so your brain shuts off.
•WEIGHTED. BLANKETS. Just make sure you get the right weight for you.
•if you take melatonin try and take it at the same time each night so your brain gets used to the cycle, falling asleep at the same time every night makes it easier to wake up the next day
•allow👏 yourself👏 a 👏day 👏to👏 sleep👏 in 👏. While keeping a good schedule is important having one day every so often to lounge around and sleep in helps you catch up on all that lost energy.
•and of course

Make sure your stuffes are tucked in too :)

Alright, I need to to to sleep myself now. Those were my thoughts on being an introject of a god and some bonus sleep tips.

*tucks you all into bed like a proud mother*
Nuh-Night, sweet dreams!

(-, – )...zzzZZZ