I woke up, sweating. The tour starts in just a few days...

I forgot to consider something important, like the fact that I will fucking die if I go out there.

I'm panicking silently, trying not to wake Chris up. I already know that if I wake him up in my state that he'll pull out a goddamn bottle of Vodka so that I can chill.

I also know that I will chug that down before you say "bleach".

I get up, succeeding at being silent as I grab my phone. I enter the bathroom and put some decent smelling clothes on while checking the time. It was now seven pm and dark as hell.

I take a look at myself in the mirror. My hair was all over the place and I had dark bags under my eyes. That nightmare got to me pretty well.

I can't show up on stage, I can't. That's why I kept it all secret.

Exposed. I have been exposed.

That would make a great book title.

I put on a nice fedora and whisper "m' lady" at the mirror. Funny...

But is it really? Am I really funny? Is that why people like me? Or is it because I'm popular?

I can't.

I'm walking outside as of now. I don't know where I'm headed at, but I have to calm down. I decide to call Mark.

"Can I come by?" I asked him. He said he was going to pick me up.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm at his place. The other two are asleep. Chika approaches me and starts growling. As soon as she sees Mark, she calms down. I think she's scared of me. I follow Mark up to his room.

I break.

All my thoughts, my feelings, my heart, I spill it all out to him.

I look at him after rambling about everything for some time. He just smiles.

"Why are you smiling?"

"You know, you may think that keeping your secrets and emotions hidden is better, but you're wrong. You are allowed to be sad, happy, grumpy, excited. You are supposed to take a breather sometimes. You are human."

I smiled at him.

Maybe he was right. Maybe secrets aren't supposed to be so secret after all.

End of chapter 6.