No proofreading, we die like real men

Eat Food, drink water, or I'm gonna suck out ur eyeballs and spit them back out into ur other eye socket while u sleep so you'll have ur eyes in the wrong spots

If he had been using public flights, it would've been a pain to get you through security. So many useless questions to be asked about if you "consented" to this.

So, Illumi found it easier to book a private airship. Even if that means his father will catch on sooner than he may have wanted.

Sometimes Milluki's watch over the individual finance accounts did more harm than good.

Sitting down on the bed—another perk of flying alone—he settled you in his lap. Rubbing your back as he watched you for any sign of consciousness.

Better safe than sorry. Even if the poison should last for twelve more hours.

With hope, Chrollo would soon get over it and not be so bold as to challenge the Zoldycks.

Or, perhaps he wouldn't care about the kidnapping at all.

—

"Please," Chrollo tried to stay calm and polite. Because these were his troupe members and they came before himself, and even Y/n, "Remind me how and why Y/n is missing?"

Phinks scratched his neck and looked away. Attempting to discreetly elbow Feitan. Even if he knew Chrollo would notice it, a man could pray.

Feitan just stared. In his mind, Phinks was the one who caused this mess. He could fix it.

After a few moments of silence, and Chrollo's staring, Phinks finally caved.

"Look, there was this stupid-" the other eight members eyes on him wasn't helping Phinks concentrate. Especially since he felt like a child getting scolded, "-I don't know, cat thing."

"Nen beast." Feitan offered helpfully. Maybe, just maybe feeling a bit bad for Phinks. Not that he'd admit that.

"Yeah, Nen beast. And the thing was huge-"

Chrollo had to try his hardest to stay silent. The Troupe was his highest priority. Even if he was only getting excuses when he wanted answers.

"It chased me like hell, and then Feitan found me- I swear we had our back turns for five seconds and the twig was gone-"

"Twig?" Chrollo questioned without thinking. He never spoke without thinking. God Y/n was doing things to him. For better or for worse.

"Affectionate nickname." Feitan answered oh so helpfully. Allowing Phinks to do the rest of the speaking.

"Whatever he said," Phinks grumbled, shifting his weight onto the other foot as he avoided eye contact with the rest of the Troupe. "I swear the second we realized they were gone, we ditched the fight and started searching. Couldn't find them anywhere. The brat just- just disappeared."

Chrollo just sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he leaned his head back.

Stay calm. He reminded himself as he exhaled. Letting his hand drop back to his side before speaking, "Let me get this straight."

Phinks and Feitan immediately looked away. Ashamed, if Chrollo had to put a word to whatever that reaction was.

"There was a cat."

"Nen beast."' Phinks tried to weakly correct. Again, much like a child being scolded.

"Yes. A Nen beast. And you," Chrollo turned towards Phinks, "Started shouting."

Maybe that was a bit harsh. Especially in front of the other members present. Chrollo couldn't bring himself to care right now.

"Then, Feitan called me. After that he dragged Y/n towards the fight. Left them unsupervised for a few moments, and then they disappeared off the face of the earth?"

The duo was silent for a long while, before Phinks glanced back at Chrollo and asked "Have we considered kidnapping?"

Chrollo was glad Machi cut in, or else he would've said something he'd regret, "After the call, I don't think anyone saw Hisoka."

Phinks and Feitan visibly relaxed once the attention got down to the clown. Built up tension leaving their bodies.

"Oh ♡" Hisoka didn't look at all unnerved by the stares or accusation, "I was simply doing my job. If you remember, I believe you assigned me to work alone this mission. ♡"

Unfortunately correct. If Chrollo had just planned better he wouldn't have been given such an annoying alibi. He would've been supervised.

Y/n would've been supervised.

"Oh, who else would it have been?" Nobunaga asked exasperatedly, his eyes trained on the clown. "None of us would've. And most normal people don't have access to dangerous Nen of any kind."

"There is one other suspect," Chrollo corrected, attempting to cut off any potential fighting before it could even start. Plus, this was the most likely case anyways.

"Oh? Our dearest Zoldyck?" Hisoka asked, knowing the answer already. Enjoying the distrust radiating off the other members.

"He's the one with access to Nen beasts, and a reason to take my things."

"I'm sorry, a Zoldyck?" Phinks questioned, immediately regretting it when attention was turned back towards him.

Usually he doesn't mind. But he's not usually in trouble, so.

Shalnark took this as an ample time to step in. Even though a handful of members knew about the weird groupchat, a few were left out of the loop.

"Y/n was accidentally," Shalnark's eyes flicked over to Hisoka at that word, both knowing it wasn't a total accident, "added to a chat ran by Morow, which included Chrollo and a Zoldyck friend of his."

Since, unlike Phinks, he wasn't in trouble, Shal didn't mind the attention turning towards him. Though he wasn't used to so many Troupe members being invested in a single topic.

But, it was clear Chrollo wasn't in the right headspace to be questioning people right now, Shal spoke instead.

"Though, instead of mindlessly pointing fingers," he didn't mean it to come off as a jab towards Chrollo, "we could appreciate that Phinks and Feitan happened to have been in a room with working cameras."

"They were?"

"We were?"

Shalnark wasn't surprised by how fast he was dragged towards a computer to pull up the camera footage. With Chrollo leaning over him, his eyes glued to the computer monitor.

Shal chose not to comment on how Chrollo was gripping the back of the chair. He had seen how his boss reacted whenever Y/n had mentioned getting injured in the chat. How obsessively he searched for them when they completely left the chat.

He was the one Chrollo immediately came to with any difficulty with Y/n after all.

"And you should show up right about here," Shal beckoned Phinks closer. Chrollo slightly moving out of the way so the blonde could see. Eyes never leaving the screen.

"Told you it was a big cat.." Phinks grumbled defensively when he and the cat got tossed through the wall.

"Uh-huh," Uvogin laughed, placing his hand on Phinks' head, "Just admit you lost to a stray."

"I didn't lose to a stray!" He quickly shoved off Uvo's hand, taking a step away, "I would've won if I didn't have to go look for the twig-"

"Oh," Machi interrupted, not caring about the two idiot's bickering, "So they ran."

Shal rewound the film by a few seconds. To see Y/n vaulting out a window in the six seconds they weren't in Feitan or Phink's long of sight. Shalnark counted.

"Fuck." Chrollo gripped the chair tighter as he cursed under his breath. He never really was one for cursing.

"So Illumi didn't take her? ♤" Hisoka laughed, ignoring the tense atmosphere.

—

Illumi played with your hair as you slept. Slept was a rather peaceful word, considering you were only unconscious due to Illumi poisoning you.

In the meanwhile he thought up what he'd tell his father.

If Chrollo hadn't gotten his filthy hands on you, Illumi would've taken this much slower. Convinced his father first, then taken you.

So, he did what seemed like the only solution. He called his mother.

"Illumi, dear," Kikyo picked up the phone almost immediately, her words rushed and worried, "where have you been? You just disappeared, your father and I have been looking everywhere for you!"

Illumi sighed. He knew it was a long shot to hope they wouldn't notice. Practically everything about this kidnapping was built off of hope, though. He expected to be disappointed in some manners.

Stroking your hair as he held the phone to his ear, he made sure to not talk too loudly. As to not disturb you.

"I'm fine, Mother-"

"Fine? This isn't like you at all, you never leave without permission. You know better, I taught you better."

"I am sorry, Mother." Illumi's voice didn't change in tone despite his apologetic words, "I had important matters come up that I'm afraid could not wait."

"Too important to tell your own mother? I'm disappointed in you, Illumi Zoldyck, I thought-"

Illumi was not one to interrupt. But he knew how long his mother's tangents could last. And he did need to get to the topic at hand.

"I was collecting my future wife." (Malewife is in fact a thing guys)

Kikyo's gasp was clear. He could hear the phone clatter to the ground, before a loud squeal.

Word Count: 1655

Fun Facts:

• Illumi, realizing his father will kill Y/n if he finds out Illumi is emotionally attached to them: :/
Illumi about to turn his mom against his dad as a distraction: :| (get it, cuz he doesn't smile.)

• Shalnark at 3am after Chrollo calls him for the third time this week with his worries about Y/n: 😐
(The only reason bro helped kidnap you was so Chrollo would shut the fuck up about "where's Y/n" this and "what's Y/n doing" that)

• in one of the paragraphs from Chrollos POV it said "Because these were his troupe members and they came before himself, and even Y/n." And this is actually because he's starting to value maybe a bit too much. Perhaps over himself