Eat food ig? Drink water ig, get some sleep ig, or else Olaf is coming for you ig??

Chrollo, and others groupchat
0 online
Obnoxious. is now online
2 people are now online

Jingling Jester👎
You've been gone for a week, love

Moaning Mistress😫
You are alive, what a surprise.

Coming Crayon🖍️ is now online
Moaning Mistress😫 is now offline

Coming Crayon🖍️
Please ignore the names, Hisoka was
allowed to choose them

Obnoxious.
I am not ignoring the names‼️

Obnoxious.
Actually why is my name just "obnoxious"

Obnoxious.
What did I ever do to you Morow?

Jingling Jester👎
For starters, you insist on using my last
name ♡

Obnoxious.
Didn't realize using your name was illegal
now

Obnoxious.
Mb🙄

Jingling Jester👎
Using my first name would be excellent,
love

Jingling Jester👎
I see no reason to use my last ⭐️-_-💧

Obnoxious.
Maybe I'm just getting used to it

Obnoxious.
Yk since I'll be taking it one day😚🤞

Coming Crayon🖍️
You are slowly becoming more of a tease,
are you aware of that?

Obnoxious.
You enjoy it bby?

Coming Crayon🖍️
My point exactly

Moaning Mistress😫 is now online

Moaning Mistress😫
You could easily ignore their comments,
insect.

Moaning Mistress😫 is now offline

Obnoxious.
But then you'd be treating me like u do
Hidoka, and I deserve better😕✊

Jingling Jester👎
I believe we are glazing over the fact that
you were allegedly stabbed last time we
spoke ♤

Obnoxious.
Illumi has a picture as proof

Moaning Mistress😫 is now online

Moaning Mistress😫
I never saved it, nor do I care enough
to search through my phone to get it.

Moaning Mistress😫 is now offline

Obnoxious.
Bastard child

Coming Crayon🖍️
His parents were married at the time of
his birth, actually

Obnoxious.
How would u know??

Obnoxious.
Omg are you their marriage counselor??

Moaning Mistress😫 is now online

Moaning Mistress😫
My parents do not require marriage
counseling

Obnoxious.
Uh-huh, whatever you say😊

Jingling Jester👎
So passive aggressive for no reason, dear

Jingling Jester👎
Commit to one or the other⭐️

Moaning Mistress😫
It would do you good to stay away from my family matters.

Obnoxious.
Your dad ➡️🫃

Obnoxious.
I'm wifing him up frfr (๑>ᴗ<๑)

Coming Crayon🖍️
As hilarious as that sentiment is, I do recommend not speaking of any of his
family members in such ways. For your
safety.

Moaning Mistress😫
For once I agree with Chrollo

Moaning Mistress😫
Do not make that mistake again.

Moaning Mistress😫 is now offline

Obnoxious.
Mb fam🙄

Jingling Jester👎
I'm starting to feel ignored ♣️

Coming Crayon🖍️
Jester's privilege

Jingling Jester👎
⭐️-_-💧

Obnoxious.
Huh???

Coming Crayon🖍️
A right to speak and mock freely, as nothing
he says matters

Obnoxious.
Oop🫢

Obnoxious.
Yk what I'll leave you ladies to it

Obnoxious.
I'm going exploring, see ya🤗

Obnoxious. is now offline

Coming Crayon🖍️
Did we ever get confirmation that they are
no longer dying in an alleyway?

Jingling Jester👎
I do not believe so, no💞

—

Rest in Peace groupchat
0 online

Presumed dead is now online

Presumed dead
wtf guys😭😭

2 people are now online

Jingling Jester👎
Well you have been offline for a week and
a half, love 💕

Presumed dead
That's all it takes to say I'm dead??😭😭

Coming Crayon🖍️
It's much longer than you've ever gone
without texting before

Presumed dead
I was lost😞

Jingling Jester👎
Lost?

Presumed dead
Went swimming😟

Jingling Jester👎
And got lost?

Presumed dead
Yeah..😔

Coming Crayon🖍️
Where are you right now, love?

Presumed dead
Lost

Presumed dead
Laying down and going wherever the water takes you is a bad idea

Presumed dead
Just so you guys know

Presumed dead
Not that I would ever do something so
stupid of course

Jingling Jester👎
Of course🥰

Presumed dead
Oh so I can't be passive aggressive but u
can😟

Presumed dead
Yk what I'm leavin' again😞🤚

Coming Crayon🖍️
I am still confused as to how you are alive
right now. Being allegedly lost at sea for
over a week and surviving is.. unlikely
for someone of your skill set—or lack
thereof

Presumed dead
Why is everything I do "alleged" now😔

Presumed dead
I hate you all🤧

Presumed dead is now offline

Jingling Jester👎
Well they seem to be having fun~

Coming Crayon🖍️
They're going to get themselves killed

Jingling Jester👎
Thrilling, isn't it?~

Jingling Jester👎
Just the thought of it turns m-

Coming Crayon🖍️ is now offline

Jingling Jester👎
Hm ♡

Jingling Jester👎
Always no fun, boss♠️

—

Five stages of grief groupchat
0 online

Presumed dead is now online

Presumed dead
Still  not changing my name?

Presumed dead
I see how it i😔

Presumed dead
Is*

Presumed dead
And ignore the double space between still
and not

Creaming Carpenter☦️ is now online

Creaming Carpenter☦️
You are getting better, at least

Presumed dead
🫢

Presumed dead
..the name, Chollo..?

Creaming Carpenter☦️
Do not.

Presumed dead
I am doing

Creaming Carpenter☦️
I told you not to

Presumed dead
Ur fault for thinking I'd listen

Creaming Carpenter☦️
Y/n L/n.

Presumed dead
I vaguely remember not telling you my
last name🥰

Creaming Carpenter☦️
That is, in no way, relevant

Presumed dead
It's the most relevant actually⁉️⁉️

Creaming Carpenter☦️
What did you need in the first place

Presumed dead
To take ur last name actually

Creaming Carpenter☦️
Y/n Lucilfer, then.

Presumed dead
🤭

Presumed dead
Giggling and kicking my feet rn fr

Miscarriage Missile🔥 is now online

Miscarriage Missile🔥
I know of a better name you could use

Miscarriage Missile🔥
No need to set your standards so low

Miscarriage Missile🔥 is now offline

Presumed dead
Illumi??😭😭

Presumed dead
Can't tell if my face is red due to blushing or because the names are so fucking
funny😭😭

Creaming Carpenter☦️
Do not take his last name.

Presumed dead
Or else what?

Creaming Carpenter☦️
Sweetheart.

Presumed dead
Yk what, actually I think I should just...

Presumed dead is now offline

-

You are now Private Chatting Hisoka

Presumed dead
No fancy name??

Hisoka
The one the author had in mind went
against the Wattpad content
guidelines🥰

Hisoka
Everything else after that just seemed
unfit~

Presumed dead
Dang😞

Presumed dead
On a more important note tho help

Hisoka
Ah the last name issues? ♡

Presumed dead
Wht do I even do at this pount

Hisoka
Well I have another last name I could add
to the list~

Presumed dead
No u ugly🔥

Hisoka
And here I was, going to give you Shalnark's name

Presumed dead
Wait no I'm sorry

Hisoka
A tad too late now, my dear

Presumed dead
🙏🙏🙏

Hisoka
Why don't you run off and explore again,
hm?~

Presumed dead
I hate u😖😖

Presumed dead
I'm going to Arcticaant

Hisoka
Bring a coat~

Hisoka is now offline

Presumed dead
🖕

Presumed dead
When I see u it's on sight🥰

Presumed dead is now offline

Word Count: 1291

Fun Facts:

• I wrote some of this in a coffee shop, how many times do you think one can type "moaning mistress" and "coming crayon" with no reaction because there's people all around🤗

• Got lazy so took inspiration(stole) from tumblr posts(I found screenshots of them on Pinterest, because I don't actually have Tumblr)

• Chrollo apparently sells all the items he steals once he's bored of them. So, yes, he could actually "buy" you all sorts of things. And while he's not richer than the Zoldycks in general, it's possible he is richer than Illumi.
Hisoka's wealth is still up for question. But I'd assume it's quite high, since money is equated to power in general, and Hisoka would never let himself be weak or "lesser" in any way. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

‼️‼️‼️VERY IMPORTANT‼️‼️‼️

💞💞💞💗💗💗💞💞💗

@I-eat-children-69 this is why we don't talk about our feelings on the internet sweetheart🫶 (They said I was bluffing after I didn't add this screenshot into the last chapter, my pride was on the line ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)