•••

It was dark.

So very dark.

And he felt like he was floating. Floating in the deepest, darkest depths of an ocean, everything around him consumed by the howling darkness.

Scary as it was, for some reason, it also felt very tranquil. So much so, that he almost did not want to leave this place.

Was this was peace felt like?

Warmth. And coziness. He felt like he was home again, the warmth embracing his entire being in that void. Reassuring him.

But something wasn't right. He could feel it.

The lingering saudade that warmth carried.

"Gray!"

In an instant, everything disappeared. The reassuring warmth, the peace, all of it morphed into a cacophony of that voice whispering in his ear.

"No way! Go away!"

"How do I look?"

"No stripping in my house buddy!"

"Argh!"  If he could've clutched his head, he would've. Yet, as if paralysed, all he did was stare into nothingness, letting the voices consume him whole.

"Well let me at least finish reading it!"

"No way! Besides I promised Levy that she'd be the first one!"

One after the other, images flashed in front of him. It was like he was watching a movie on fastforward.

"But...why are you here?"

"I heard that you thought you were being followed so..I was worried."

Except..

"I'm sorry about earlier. I said.. some terrible things while they were watching."

"No it's okay. I should apologise for slapping you."

This wasn't a movie.

"Well..being disciplined by a girl in a maid outfit wasn't that bad!"

"It-it wasn't like that!"

These were memories.

"Help.."

His memories.

The soft giggles melted into shriller voices, the screams resonating so dissonantly that they could kill.

"Help.."

There it was again. That voice. Amongst the screams that seemed to bleed his ears out, that voice stood out alone. It was softer. Gentler.

And sadder.

He didn't realise when he could, but he found himself able to move his body again. Was it because of the voice he had heard?

How strange.

But he had to find it. No matter what. Because maybe it was a feeling, or an intuition, he felt as if this voice would be the answer to all his questions.

"Gray.."

He heard it again, loud and clear. It was calling out, sounding crystal clear yet somehow feeble at the same time.

It almost felt like his limbs reacted to the sound before he could. He quickly swam deeper into the abyss, desperately trying to catch ahold of the voice.

What if he's late? What if it slips away? What would he do if it slips away? Somehow the thought of it parting made his heart ache.

It was unbearable.

"I don't want to be alone anymore.."

He could see it now. He could see her. She lay huddled up in a fetal position, all alone in the deep dark abyss.

Crying.

"Please.."

He knew who she was.

"Lu-"

"GRAY!"

He jerked wide awake, desperately panting and gasping for air. His throat felt like it was on fire and cold sweat adorned his forehead.

"Gray!"

His vision was still blurry but he could make out a redhead and a teen with blue hair leaning over to him. He could only imagine the expression of immense concern those two carried.

"Haa.." Gray panted, swiping his hair back with his hand. "How..what-?"

Wendy and Erza exchanged looks of concern, before the sky maiden moved forward and begin moving the cushions to help Gray get more comfortable.

"How much do you remember?" Erza asked, her eyes never once leaving the distressed ice mage.

"About what?!"

Wendy flinched lightly when he snapped, however she quickly regained her composure and nonchalantly took a seat next to Erza. However, it didn't go unnoticed by Gray.

"I'm.." he began, sighing and leaning against the bedpost. "Sorry."

The apology ensued an awkward silence, nobody daring to make even an eye contact.

"Was I..Where did you find me?"

"We found you collapsed in Town Square." All three heads turned towards the bedroom door, where a human Carla stood with a basket in her hands, Happy hovering near her.

"Gray!" The blue exceed shouted with tears in his eyes, rushing towards him for a tearful embrace.

"You all need to get your strength back." Carla sighed, setting the basket down to reveal an assortment of sandwiches and water bottles. "The inn owner was nice enough to let us have these when she heard that we were mages."

"Fairy Tail mages." Happy corrected.

"It almost sounds like this was her way of pleading to us not to end up destroying the inn property." Wendy laughed lightly. "We are quite infamous for that after all."

The atmosphere lightened ever so slightly, however, the air wasn't any less suffocating.

"You say I collapsed?" Gray questioned, reaching for a bottle of water. "How long was I out for?"

"Not that long." Erza answered tiredly, still not looking at him. "Just a couple of hours. Although.."

"Although?"

This time she directly looked at him, her tired eyes boring straight into his. "You seemed to have a nightmare."

"Erza.."

It all happened so suddenly. One moment she was facing him, tired, but composed, however the next it was almost as if everything fell apart. Erza, who hardly ever lost her composure even in hardest of battles, looked so broken. Fragile.

"I'm tired Gray." She exclaimed, her voice cracking from desperately trying to hold back her tears. "I don't know what to do anymore!"

"..."

"Three years. It's been three years! And I still can't get anywhere! I still don't have any answers!"

A small sob escaped from her throat, which ended up being the final blow, for the great Titania finally collapsed, surrendering to a broken heart.

"I don't even know what I'm looking for..Why I feel like this. There is always this dull pain following me. It's always there no matter what I do or how happy I am. And I'm so tired of it!"

"But I was getting better. We were getting better. I thought I could live on, that maybe it was all just the illusion of my suppressed feelings. I thought that maybe, just maybe, this emptiness would fade away, and the dull throbbing would finally stop."

"But then.."

"But then!" She exclaimed, clutching her blouse, as if doing so would help her breathe. "But then we just had to take on this godforsaken job, and..and.."

"..meet her."

"Meet her.." Erza agreed, tearfully nodding when Gray's hand reached out and lightly grasped hers.

"Erza."

".."

"Hey.." He took her face in his hands and gently raised it up, forcing her to look at him. "Erza..look at me."

The scarlet mage finally gave up on trying to avoid his gaze, her downcast eyes finally looking up to meet his.

"We need to go find her."

"..."

"I know. I know it's confusing. Scary, even. But trust me just this once. If not me, then your heart. Because you know it too don't you?"

Of course she did. How could she not? She knew it from the moment she first met her.

He gave her a light smile, one that was full of understanding. And warmth.

"I suppose Natsu was quicker at it than we were." She smiled back, gently placing her hand on his, which was still encompassing her face.

"Of course he was. After all she is

Our Lucy."

•••
I am..not dead

Hi?

I know it wasn't really worth the wait of who knows how many month?? But I promised I won't let it be unfinished so..

I kinda had different plans for this chapter but this happened so eh. Going with the flow

Im sorry if the characters seemed a little out of it? I haven't been in touch with the characters or this story itself for so long. I hope it wasn't too bad tho.
Also I think there will be what? One more chapter after this? I hope it doesn't drag out ;-;

Man writing this made me ship Grayza all over :( I wish they were a thing tbh

Anyway
Until next time <3