Your Words In My Head, Knives In My Heart ..

You Build Me Up And Then I Fall Apart ..

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E L V I R A ♤

Pain ached all over my body as I stood in the middle of the tub, droplets of steaming hot water streaming from above. My skin tingled under the scorching water's touch, but I was too lost in my own thoughts to truly care.

My lips trembled, hot series of steaming air coming out of my mouths in puffs. My hands rested on the cold wall infront of me as the water continued to stream down my back like knives shattering my skin in pieces.

I had to numb the pain.

I had to forget it all.

Living with Demetruis meant that I had to act. I had to be smart enough to figure out his next move. I had to always be ready for his next words. His next hit. His next command.

I got out of the shower, wrapped a pitch black towel around my body carefully and stood infront of the mirror.

Humid air had gathered all around the bathroom, making the mirror seem as foggy and blurry as ever.

I remember the times I used to trace words with my fingers upon it childishly. Now I'd rather see my image a foggy blur than the real Elvira.

But even running away from her wasn't enough. I would always see her in those malicious eyes of his.

Or maybe I only see the shell of the woman she has become.

Her eyes, empty and dazed. Her body numb as colourful bruises covered her skin all over. Hands trembling and lips slit open, blood covering them. But most of all, his name would appear in bright, bold letters carved right under her collar bone.

He burnt his mark on my skin, simply claiming his territory right before placing his shackles around my neck.

The Ring.

I stared at the damned small round piece of silvering inclined around a huge glittering piece of diamond. It almost blinded me. The tears blinded me.

I almost laughed at how naive I was years ago when I had thought his agression towards me only showed true signs of love and protection.

It was sick.

A knock rattles at my door, startling me out of my trance. I was struck by fear immediately, thinking that it might be Demetruis.

My breathing hitched in my throat.

He was waiting for me.

"Y-yes ?" I Croaked.

"Mr Giordano requests your presence immediately." A Small Feminine Voice Replied.

"O-okay."

Silence enveloped the air for quite sometime and I couldn't dare move a muscle.

"Miss, Are You Okay ?" The voice asked, worry evident in her tone.

I took a deep breath before replying shortly, "Yes, I'll be there as soon as I get dressed."

Seconds later, I heard her tiny footsteps echoing through out my room before she stepped out, shutting the door silently behind her. I peeked through the door, making sure no one was in there before I stepped into it, taking small tiny footsteps towards my closet and picking a simple outfit.

White blouse and black leggings.

I dried my hair quickly, my eyes never leaving the clock as the seconds kept ticking by quickly.

Each second passed by felt like a huge rock upon my chest, choking me down. I had him waiting for my prescence.

Demetri hated waiting.

Minuites later, I was descending down the small, muddy steps where the basement lies, my heart beating eratically though I had no emotion present on my face.

As pale as ever, I tracked down the sound of painful groans and grunts.

"Well, it seems like Cindrella has finally decided to grace us with her prescence."

As those words flowed out of his mouth, I stood frozen in my place not daring to inch any closer.

Demetri, however, seemed to be enjoying himself. I could tell so by the poor man's condition.

Eyes swollen, lips slit open and a face flooded with colorful bruises. Blood was dribling down his chins and his hair was a mixture of filth and blood.

Quite the show actually.

My eyes drifted down his body, taking in every single detail. The man was bent on his knees, hands tied behind his back. His bare chest glistened under the basement's flickering lights. His head hung low and his eyes were moving around frantically, trying to remain conscious.

I could tell Demetri sat there, studying my every move carefully while cradling the pistol in his hands and caressing its narrow muzzle softly.

Antoine glanced at me for a fraction of a second before quickly adverting his gaze back to the cold, hard ground. I could see the guilt dancing through his eyes.

After all, disobeying Demetri and helping his poor wife escape this hellhole was just an act. And I was as stupid as to believe such a fairytale.

"Let's make a deal, shall we ?" Demitruis declared in a tone that sent shivers down my spine. "You're going to tell me what exactly happened and I might just make your death quicker. How does that sound ?"

The man released a low grunt, as he used all his energy on lifting up his head to look in his direction. His lips trembled rapidly, as if he was struggling to spill out the words.

"It seems we have a deal, then."

Demitruis lifted up himself back to his full height before starting to take small footsteps towards me, the thud of his steps echoing through out the room and slicing the dead silence like knives.

I could sense him closing in towards me from behind but before he could reach me, I turned towards him in full attention now.

"Demitri, Y-you don't have to.." My tongue stumbled over the jumbled words, frantically searching for an excuse.

"Ellie, Don't you think it's rude to intervene inbetween Antoine's speech. I thought I have taught you better. Clearly Not." A venomous tone was laced through his mocking words as his ocean blue irises sliced through my skin coldly.

His gaze returned back to Antoine's bruised up face, a menancing smile drawn across his face, "Now, Where were we ?"

* * *

"Well..?" Demitri's voice cut through the silence enveloping the room. Seconds ticked by like hours, Anotione's ragged breathing could only be heard echoing like thunder through the room.

Two delicate holes designed Antoine's shoulders, blood seeping from them violently. I watched. I watched, my eyes never drifting anywhere but Antoine's.

He made me watch it all.

My hands were throbbing and I glanced down at the numerous scratches designing the inside of my fists. They held so much truth, it hurt and I willed myself to turn away. I pressed my nails deeper into my fists, wanting to feel the flesh burn beneath them.

It will all end.. soon.

Antoine wouldn't be here for long and I envied the thought. Tonight, he'd be getting his freedom. Death was a real bliss.

Maybe my turn would be right after him. Maybe he was just letting me watch so that I'd know that this would be my place soon. Maybe he finally decided to kill me.

God, Please.

"H-he helped me, I― .. Demitri, please."

A hand was pressed to my lips gently but suddenly. My breath hitched in my throat and I gulped in fear. Demitruis gaze turned to my direction, his ice cold blue irises penetrating mine like swords. I couldn't blink, I couldn't move. I was frozen in fear of his next move.

His thumb moved slowly, tracing my bottom lip softly and they parted slightly under his touch. I could feel my breath coming out in ragged, silent puffs. His gaze descended downwards slowly until it reached my lips and lingered there a bit.

The air around was silent. Dead silent. Even Antoine wasn't groaning in pain anymore, only muttering silent prayers under his breath.

A deadly smirk rose on Demitruis lips and he stared back at my eyes, seeming a bit thoughtful. His hands started to trace down my lips to my chin, neck and shoulders before they slid down my arm slowly. Shivers ran up and down my spine, goosebumps rising under his touch.

Not in a nice way.

His hand gripped my wrist tightly and I winced. Cold, hard metal was shoved into my hand. My lips parted in a gasp at the sudden cold touch and I didn't have much time to react. He shoved me forward, tilting my body into Antoine's direction, my right arm held striaght right infront of me, pointing the pistol at the man's head.

A hand was still holding my arm in place, the other was wrapped tightly around my waist and crushing me into his chest. His face was right behind my ear.

"Shoot." He whispered huskly, his breath fanning my left cheek and sending shivers down my body.

I froze in place, completely traumatized. My mind refused to comply with his orders, blocking out his words. Slowly, his words were starting to sink in.

Shoot.. He wants me to shoot Antoine.

"I Said Shoot him !" Demetruis roared in my ear, his hands tightening around my waist, choking me. His face was undeniably close to mine, sending unwanted shivers through my being. My arms started to shake uncontrollably, even though he was holding them steady in place.

"I-I can't.. I―" I Stuttered, gasping in utter fear and horror.

"Don't test me, Elvira."

My eyes stung, tears were gathered in my eyes already threatning to fall. My heart and body refuses to follow his commands but my mind knows better. I knew what would come next. I knew what comes right after the fear. Pain.

Follow his rules or live your life in regret.

Trust me when I say, I have tried that feeling before. Regret. The feeling which comes right after the pain. You live your life, wishing you listened to your fucked up mind instead of following your heart. It doesn't matter if it's morally right or sinfully wrong. It only matters that you follow it anyway.

His hands were slowly unclenching themselves from around my waist before he toom a step backward away from me, leaving my body shivering uncontrollably.

My vision was blurry, light blinding my tearful eyes. My breathing came out in short, ragged puffs as if I were running a bloody marathon.

His footsteps echoed around the basement as he started walking towards Antoine who was still laid in the same bloody position on the floor, his scraped knees touching the ground and his shoulders hunched forward, blood dribbling down from them and onto his bare chest which now had multiple bruises and cuts. His eyes stared at me now, empty and almost lifeless. He had nothing to live for. Or maybe he did, but he knew there would be nothing to change his fate anyway.

Fate's not cruel. Demitruis is.

Demitri stopped right behind the hunched over Antoine whose head now reached only Demitri's waist. One of his hands moved to grip his hair and pull on it , tilting his head backwards until he was eye-to-eye with the gun in my hand.

The man grunted in pain and shut his eyes, refusing to look as the flickering lights attacked his eyes like several knives stabbing them.

"Last chance, Elvira."

It was a warning. I shoot him or I face the consequences of my choice. I knew Antoine's fate. If I refused to shoot Antoine, Demitri will, and then I'd be left to face him..Alone.

Something flickered inside my head. Something dangerous.

Something deadly.

Without much thought, my arm slowly tilted a little upwards, away from Antoine's head. It went upwards until the pistol's narrow muzzle lay pointed right infront of Demitri's skull.

I heard Antoine's loud intake of breath and my eyes snapped into his direction. His swollen and bruised emeralds were wide-eyed and he almost had a pleading look on his face. Almost.

It was like he knew this stunt wouldn't work on him.

Demitri, however, seemed calm and relaxed even though a gun was obviously pointed to his head. His ocean blue eyes glazed with a dangerous lust.

Lust for a challenge.

My spine tensed in fear of what is to come even though I was the one holding the gun. I could end it. I could end him. I could even end this shadow of a girl.

Either way, It shall all end with a pull of a trigger.

But I didn't. No matter how much power I had over him right now, I didn't pull it.

I knew better.

My mind was hesitating on whether I should just lower the gun or point it to my head instead. How many seconds would it be until the deadly bullet slice through my brain, cutting all the veins and blood splashing all around. How many seconds would it take to end this miserable life ? Will I Live ?

Ofcourse I wouldn't. I am already dead.

His voice weaved through my thoughts and my gaze snapped to his direction.

"Patience running thin, Elvira."

His tone was laced with a venomous yet mocking tone that seemed so familiar. I've heard many times yet I could never force my body to get used to it.

It was a warning.

My hand started sweating up, and my mission of steadying the heavy metal thing in my hand seemed utterly impossible.

I caught the glint in his eyes before it'd fade away. This mischeivous glint. He knew the effect he had on me, and he liked every bit of it.

"I-I'll Shoot You." My voice cracked, which made my words seem like a plead for him rather than a dangerous threat.

Oh how I wish if we could just swap turns right now.

"Do it. Shoot me, Ellie."

I flinched. That damned nickname. Ellie was his toy, the obediant little puppy. She never bothered or disobeyed him once. Always respectful.

Living with Demitri for six years was a torture, but I had come to a realization. He always liked them obediant and respectful. His reactions has become a hobby of mine to learn beside my polished violin.

I studied him for six years and now I know him like the back of my hand.

I watch his face and stare into his eyes. I peep his tone and make note for his use of words. I hear what he never says. I intrepret his silence.

Most importantly, I trust my intuition.

Right now, his words were questioning Ellie, his obediant puppy. The obediant puppy that could never disobey him, let alone, shoot him. That was yet another warning for Elvira to behave or else . .

She knew what was coming. Either way, she trusted her intuition. But the fear fed on it, making it almost impossible to decide.

She had hoped for a slight reaction of him. She hoped to catch the fear or horror glimmer in his eyes even for a second. She promised she'd spend her lifetime holding onto this glint of fear she would see, feeding on it like a ravaged monster, until she lets out her last breath.

But there was none.

My mind screamed at me to obey him. Lower this gun right now. Kill Antoine. Follow his orders. My heart, however, had a different idea.

It was the moment where my fingers could wait no more. They itched to pull the trigger. My heart thunmped so loudly inside my chest, calling for freedom.

Just one pull, Elvira. One slight pu―

"Time's Out."

Two words. Nine letters. One sentence. It was all it took to send waves of fear trickling down my spine and running through my veins. The lights above us went off, swallowing me into a willow of darkness.

My fingers pressed the trigger, almost instantly, and the sound of the freed bullet sliced through darkness and air like sharp knives.

I thought I felt something touch my body. Something wet. Sticky substance. My face had some sticky substance trickling down my cheeks and onto my chin.

It smelled like copper.

Before realization set in, the white blinding lights flickered back to life and my eyes stung for just moments before they took in the horrifying scene.

Demitri stood there, his usual devious smirk plastered on his face, his hands still gripping Antoine's hair but this time something about the whole scene seemed.. off.

Something wasn't right.

I was sure I had pulled the trigger and I HEARD the bullet catpulate through the air before it penetrated through the flesh brutally.

It took only seconds before realization finally sank in. Blood was splattered all around Antoine, dribbling from his face and onto the ground like the bloody falls of niagra.

Bile rose in my throat as my eyes wandered over the huge hole right in the center of his head. No wonder his face was bleeding. I resisted the urge to gag at the scene. The smell of blood was slowly sinking in and my stomache turned.

I killed Antoine..

The sentence kept replaying itself through my head. Antoine's head was blown into bits because of me. My vision slowly wandered to the pistol in my hand. It was all covered in crimson.

My eyes wandered to my other hand and to my clothes. They were all drenched in blood. Antoine's blood. Hot red liquid ran down my face, dribbled down my chin and onto my hand. Every part of me had his blood, marking it. His blood marked me a killer.

A brutal murderer.

My hands trembled uncontrollably and the damned metal object slipped through my bloodied hands before it clashed on the ground loudly. I had trouble breathing. My hear was beating eratically, and my eyes rolled around their sockets, in dizziness.

Demitri's grip on Antoine's hair loosened and he slumped on the ground noisily, gurgling on his own blood. He started walking towards me, his steps echoing through the place. His pace was slow and careful. His eyes shone in mischeif and another thing.

Lust maybe ?

He paced around my fragile figure, eyes trailing up and down my body. He was like a predator, sizing up his prey and figuring out its weak point before he pounced.

I caught sight of a black object in Demitri's hand, shimmering under the dim florescent lights of the basement. His fingers were clenched around the pistol's handle and they flexed just as my eyes fell on it.

He stopped pacing around suddenly and even though my eyes were glued to the ground, I could sense him right behind me. His face was closer and I could feel his hot breath fanning my cheek and trickling down my neck in cold shivers.

"Red looks better on you."

I gasped loudly as I felt his fingers slide down the side of my face slowly. They were coated in sticky, crimson substance and the coppery smell of it creeped into my nostrils. My stomache churned in both, fear and disgust. Bile rose in my throat, nostalgia hitting me hard. Before I knew it, My body hunched forward and vomit streamed down from my mouth, coating the cold grey floor in smelly green substance. I retched the contents of my stomache all infront of me in slight pain. Drool dribbled down the side of my mouth along with droplets of crimson.

"There we go again." Demitruis voice grunted in annoyance and distaste.

I could already picture him, rolling his eyes in disgust. He backed away slowly, footsteps clicking across the floor until it appeared right infront of me. Neatly polished black shoes stood still, contrasting the filthy vomit coating the floor and my dirty bloody state.

My breath was heavy and unsteady. My eyes were drooping slowly. Every nerve in my body ached restlessly. I never planned for this. For any of this. Rightnow, I just wanted to go back to my room, shower and sleep.

One where I'd never wake up.

I hadn't noticed that I was sprawled on my hands and knees on the floor, until I felt his posture move and his knees bending, kneeling infront of me.

My eyes stayed glued to the filthy floor, refusing to meet his own. The dirty smell of vomit filled my nostrils, urging my stomach to flip and my body to heave. It seemed something I could tolerate rather than stare into those bloody cold eyes again.

Or even those lifeless ones behind him.

His fingers touched my face, grabbing underneath my jaw to lift my head up. His clouded dark blue eyes pierced mine like daggers. A shadow was casted on one side of his perfectly sculpted face but his eyes shone the most. I stared and stared, wanting to figure out his unsaid words. His well-hidden feelings. His broken promises.

I was imprisoned in those merciless eyes, trapped inside its walls and chained like a prisoner. Somewhere inside where only fear exists.

Fear was a pathetic element. Manipulation ruled them all.

He seemed to sense what I was doing. The cool in his eyes changed and hot anger lingered there melting the ice in his blue eyes. His fingers dug sharply into my jaw bone and but I didn't wince.

That would surely leave a bruise.

"You're mine." He whispered lowly.

I didn't cringe nor did I wince. I stared at him coldly in the eyes hoping against hope that no fear was lurking inside. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction he craved for. I wouldn't

"Mine, Elvira..Mine ! "

His roar shook the walls, pierced through my ears and echoed in my head. His fingers loosened their grip from my face and they trailed down my neck before they lashed out at me.

He ripped the top fabric of my blouse ruthlessly, a fierce snarl etched on his mouth. But it all changed as soon as his fingers came in contact with the burnt skin right under my collar bone.

His mouth twisted slowly into a cruel grin. One that promised with years of torture and possession. Mischeif.

His fingers traced the letters burnt there slowly and gently. He continued to carress them one by one, his eyes never leaving mine and the mischeif inside never died down. If anything, it seemed as if his touch burned it more, urging the spark to grow and grow.

My heart thumped eratically and the veins on my neck pumped with each beat in anticipation of his next move.

They created a rythm. Beautiful yet haunting.

He leaned closer until I could feel his breath close to my ears, the heat radiating off him in waves. I could feel the smirk on his face, growing as he leaned in more, sensing the effect he had on me.

Manipulating me.

"And you can never escape me, Elvira, for you can never wish to."

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