That was how Muhibbah found herself eating food from a takeaway in her car alongside her not so favorite student. It was a feeling so unreal, yet it was unfolding right before her eyes. She didn't know what she would've done if Bilaal hadn't found her by the roadside. Maybe she'd stay there until she was lucky enough to remind herself that there were kidnappers around or probably after they reached her and took her along.

She was staring at the street, how people seemed to be moving around with no single worry in the world. She didn't know how people would get so lucky to have absolute no worry in the world. They were parked beside Bilnaf Kitchen where they got the takeaway after she swore that she wasn't going inside to eat. This time too, Bilaal didn't use her card. She just didn't know what he meant about all this.

"I thought we've come to an agreement that you'd stop staring at me?" She asked, her eyes still fixed on the road. She didn't have to turn to know that he was looking at her, she could feel his gaze miles away so long as he was looking at her.

She could feel his smile, but he still didn't take his eyes off her which forced her to turn to look at him. "What is it now?"

"I don't have to have a reason for staring at you. Once we're not in Dutsinma, you're no longer my lecturer. Especially today, we're friends, aren't we?" He asked with a look that she had to look away a second from.

She smiled and shook her head. "No, we're not. And it could take forever, but I'll always be your lecturer. And even if we were, friends don't look at their friends the way you do." She fixed her gaze on him and found him smiling softly. "Now, look away."

He obliged but not after he gave her a meaningful smile that she felt she could do anything for her to know its meaning. They finished their meals and Bilaal drove them directly to Barhim. But before he reached Amir's house, he parked by the road side and turned to look at her.

"Is it okay if I stick around to help you with...this?" He was a bit hesitant, as if he thought that she wouldn't be able to understand his reason behind this or something. "I mean, so long as you want to break off the engagement, that is. We have to get an evidence. Something huge enough to block out what he's using to threaten you, don't you think?"

Muhibbah sighed and nodded her head. "Can I have your number then? Please? So I can call you incase something comes up."

Reluctantly, Muhibbah reached out for the phone he was handing to her. She typed her number, and even though it wasn't saved, she saw the suggestion Siri made underneath 'Maybe Hibbah' along with a heart emoji, which meant that whatever it was, her number had once been saved on the phone and Siri recognized it for him. She wanted to ask him about it, but then she thought otherwise and just gave him the phone.

"I'll get down from here. Can you drive home?" He asked gently and she wondered if he had always been this gentle with everything and everyone or it was just her. Because she still hadn't forgotten how gently he had spoken to her the day Baban Fatima's incident happened.

She smiled genuinely at him before she nodded her head. He got down and waved at her while she also got down from the car. The switch took a few seconds and Muhibbah thanked him before she drove off. It wasn't until the gate to their house came to view that she remembered what had happened, the intensity of it and how hard it would be for her to break everything down. Or what she'd certainly have to face from Mama if she dared say something about its annulment.

She parked, picked up her handbag and walked into the house. As Sareena promised, she was waiting for her in the house. The moment she heard the sound of her car, she rushed and pulled her to her room.

"Addah, how did this happen? I mean, it's not a problem if you have agreed to marry him after everything. But you sounded totally unaware when I called you. Is there something going on? We all saw the text you sent him."

Muhibbah had promised herself that she wasn't going to cry over it again. At least for today. Her face was enough evidence for the amount of tears she had shed and she needed to give it a break, at least.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked into the worried eyes of her sister. "He tricked me into sending that message to him, Sareena. I hate him and I'd have to do everything in my power to make sure I don't marry him. Just pray for me, okay? I know for a fact that Mama won't even listen to anything from me regarding this so long as I'm not going to be happy about it. You can see how she didn't even call to confirm if I wanted to go on with everything..." She let go of her words because talking about the role Mama was playing in making sure her life was ruined was taking a toll on Muhibbah. She had never seen someone so unlucky with a mother like herself.

"It's fine, Addah. You'll be fine, okay? And Insha Allah this marriage won't happen." Muhibbah could only sigh. She knew she was only able to keep her calm because she had had Bilaal to talk through everything with. If not, she would've still been a mess of her tears by now.

"I need to go and greet Mama before she gets angry." She said and got to her feet. She didn't know how Mama was going to welcome her today. But there was a part of her brain that wished Mama would be a bit soft to her considering that what she had been trying to do was going to happen, or so she thought.

She knocked softly on the door before she turned the knob and entered, finding Mama walking out of the bathroom with water dripping from her eyes, emanating that she had just did her ablution for the Maghreb prayer. She instantly looked away from the heated look Mama threw her way.

"Good evening, Mama." She greeted, her heart thumping a bit.

"What's so good about the evening? I should be happy that you're finally engaged. But I can't be happy with anything that concerns you, Muhibbah. How can I be sure that this too, like the others, won't be cancelled? I just don't know how you got so unlucky in life and what's with all the bad luck from your side. You're like an omen of darkness and regret in my life..."

Muhibbah had to clench her eyes shut the way Mama's ways pierced right into the aorta of her heart. She opened them slowly as the pain lacerated every pulsing vein in her body as she stared painfully at the woman that answered the name of her mother yet the only thing she did to confirm that role was birthing her.

"One day, Mama, one day, you'll be glad that you gave birth to me, Insha Allah. And then, you wouldn't care who happens to be my father or the circumstance of my birth. You'll be happy that you conceived me through marriage and gave birth to me in your marital home. Until then, it's such an agony knowing you take me as an omen of darkness and regret in your life, but I'll have to bear it until the end."

She walked out of the room and had to cover her mouth from the outburst of her tears. It was just so overwhelming that she had to squat outside Mama's room and broke into tears, not minding whether any of her siblings will find her in that position. She knew Mama had said a lot of words to her, but Muhibbah had never heard of this and it was threatening to her life.

Sareena found her there and she didn't ask about what happened, she just guided her to her room and gave her the longest hug of her life, which Muhibbah had needed for quite sometime now. She didn't know what she'd do to her mother to see her like the rest of her daughters, it was just so painful to endure.

Ω

Preparations for Bilkisu's wedding were ongoing and it was getting messier as the time went by. She didn't participate in any of it because no one consulted her about anything. Sareena was mostly in the house as they sorted things out with Bilkisu, Mama and sometimes even Baba, but she had never for once been asked for her opinion or even little as going to the market together which they did everyday.

It was exam period, so she didn't have to go back to Dutsinma to stay since she didn't have anything to do. She'd just go there the day her name appeared on the list of exam invigilation. Bilaal had still not called her regarding the issue and she figured he had been so busy with exams and probably didn't think of a way out like herself.

She was going to Dutsinma today and it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She got ready in no time and walked to Mama's room that was getting busier, more filled with items and what not. Mama was going over a list of the items in a paper and ticking off the ones they had bought when Muhibbah said her salam.

Mama didn't even look up at her when she asked, "What is it again?"

"I told you yesterday that I have an invigilation at school today. I'll be leaving now."

"I wonder if your father knows that his stupid wealth will be put to a test now that your wedding is coming closer. Have you told him about it?" Muhibbah just stared there, staring at her unbelievably. It was as if Mama sensed the look of shock on her face, because she looked up at her. "What? Were you expecting me to tell him or what? And I hope you know I won't allow my husband to spend a dime on that man's daughter, right? Feeding and accommodating you that he did for your entire life is enough, I believe."

"I haven't spoken to Abba for so long now." That was all she said, because she was partly used to Mama talking about not allowing her husband to do anything for that man's daughter. That was how her father paid for all her tuition fees right from nursery until she collected her masters degree certificate even though Sareena's father wanted to, Mama actively stopped him.

Muhibbah hadn't been glad about that until now. Because she didn't know what she'd have done if she were asked to be grateful to him forever and how much she'd unendingly hear about her father not contributing a dime into her upbringing.

"Go and come back, then we'd talk about this. Also, don't think you're going back to Dutsinma after this session. We've spoken with Alhaji Nasir, he's now a head of department and he said he'll start processing for you to get the lecturing job there. He'll take you there today, he must be outside waiting by now."

Muhibbah wanted to scream at the pitch of her voice, but the kind of look Mama flashed her that was filled with finality didn't give her a room for any talk. She simply walked out without even saying goodbye and left, wondering how she would have to endure being in his company for the thirty to forty minutes drive ahead of them.

Behold, like Mama had said, he was waiting outside the house. She didn't speak a word when she entered and closed the door. Alhaji Nasir chuckled outwardly before he ignited the car and drove off.

It took him almost fifteen minutes before he turned to her with a smug expression on his face. "Do you think this is the right thing to do to your fiancé, Muhibbah? I thought you were exposed enough. I know I wasn't expecting a kiss or a big bear hug, but come on, what happened to a smile and maybe some nice words?"

"Fiancé you said, right? Wait until you're no longer anything to me but a name written under the list of the useless men I have the misfortune of encountering through my life." She said so without looking at him. And she needn't to do that for her to know she had bruised his ego with her words.

Alhaji Nasir foolishly thought that the world revolved around him. And he wanted to be treated as though he were an egg by every woman. He probably felt she was a challenge to him since she might be the only woman he didn't get when he wanted and so he wanted to show her or probably feed his ego that he could get every woman he wanted. Muhibbah Sodangi inclusive.

"Wow, that's quite hurtful, you know? But I'm sure despite how long the list might be. None of them has ever had to be called your husband, right? And also a prospect ex-husband, correct?" He flashed her a cocky smile when she looked at him. He just know the right nerve to hit.

"If you know that you're going to be an ex husband faster than how you become the husband, why bother getting married to me at all?" She just had to ask even though she knew the answer to that. But it always hurt her whenever she thought about it.

"You know why, Baby. You're so hot even when you wear a hijab and I just can't stop fantasizing about you. And I make sure to get every woman I want as badly as I want you. But we can nullify the engagement right away if you agree to let me have my way without having the sacred thread of marriage between us. Trust me, it's a huge step from my side to have to marry you when I know that I simply want you in my bed and nothing more. And it's bruising my ego to know that I have to resort to marriage to have that, which is quite unusual. I have women, tons of them, begging for my attention. And you know...I have to do everything to uphold my reputation."

Muhibbah didn't know when she broke into a laugh so humorless it had to scratch her throat before it came out. "Man, are you so bold! And I'll be the first on the list of the women you've wanted badly enough yet could never have, bi'iznillah. And from me, all you'd be getting is my kind, mark my words."

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