Somehow, Amir was able to convince Muhibbah to conduct the makeup test for them and that was exactly what she was doing now. Even though he had his head fixed to the paper he was writing in, she could still feel his gaze from time to time. As her students wrote, Muhibbah thought of all the things going on in her life. And just then, a random thought crossed her mind.

If Amir said they were age mates, that meant something had happened that made him not attend school at the right time, right? Because Amir was currently working and he said they even attended the same secondary school because of how closed they were.

She knew he had always looked older than the rest of his course mates, but she had never thought that he could be older than Sareena, because Amir was and that meant he too was older. He looked matured. And there was an air of sophistication around him. How he carried himself, how it looked as if he found it so hard to speak more than a few words. There was just something about it, she could sense it, yet couldn't put a finger to it.

The students started submitting their papers and he was the last person that submitted and a part of her told her that he did it intentionally because he wanted to be alone with her. But she quickly brushed that thought off. Why would he want to be alone with her? He was her student for crying out loud. And student apart, he was years younger than her.

He walked to her and handed her his paper while staring directly into her eyes that Muhibbah was forced to take her eyes off him as she hissed softly. She decided that today was the day she was going to talk to him about how much he stared at her.

Even though she had collected the paper and attached it with the rest of the papers, he seemed not to move a feet in an attempt to move out of the hall. She mustered all the courage left in her, giving herself a pep talk about how she would stop his gaze from getting right into her soul as she looked into his eyes.

"Why do you always shamelessly stare at me? It doesn't matter whether I catch you looking or not, you just never take your eyes off me, Why?" She really needed to know why. Because it was getting to her in a way that she wished it wouldn't. And she was angry at him for that.

For the first time since when he walked up to the podium, Bilaal took his eyes off her and he used his left hand to scratch his nape. "I'm sorry, I just can't...I'm sorry, Ma'am. It must've made you feel uncomfortable."

If he felt remorseful? It wasn't showing on his face. And Muhibbah found herself getting angrier at him. "Has it ever occurred to you what doing that could land you into if I were a horrible lecturer like others? I can easily choose to continuously fail you because of that. I've always been wanting to talk to you about it. You're my student for heaven's sake!"

He slightly looked up at her and when she threw him a heated look that was filled with anger, he quickly hung his head down. "I'm so sorry. So many times, I just find myself doing it, I don't know why and I must've forgotten who you were, my lecturer. Forgive my mistake, ma."

"Don't think that just because Amir is your friend and you happen to be cousins, there's a special privilege or something. I just feel like I should make myself clear to you, okay? You're my student. And apart from being my students, you're years younger than me so I see no reason why I'd have to endure having you stare nonstop at me. It's making me uncomfortable, okay? Refrain from doing that."

Bilaal was simply staring at her as she warned him with a stern voice and eyes that emoted how angry she was at the whole situation. When she was done, he nodded his head apologized again and walked away. Muhibbah stayed at the hall for a few minutes before she walked back to her office with a heavy heart. It was getting harder everyday. With all the things going on in her life and how Mama was actively trying to make her life a living hell.

Alhaji Nasir's call came through her phone and she wished she could scream at him to stop calling her. She had told him countless times, had even begged him that he should please let her be, she really wasn't interested in him told him to please go and tell Mama that he was no longer interested, but it seemed to her like her pleas were making him even more interested in making sure she married him. And more than anyone, Muhibbah knew he simply had a reason for marrying her.

She had to pick his call, because if she didn't, the next call she'd receive on her phone would be Mamas and no matter how hard being on a call with him was, she preferred it than what Mama would call to say to her.

"Assalamu Alaikum, good evening," she greeted begrudgingly and she heard the soft smile that escaped his lips.

"Good evening to you too, Amaryata. I've missed you so much today. Should I please come and see you?" He pleaded with a voice that was so flirty Muhibbah wanted to puke.

Did he really think that she was one of those young girls he always cheated on? "I believe I made it clear to you that you can't be visiting me here, right? We can meet when I get back home during the weekends, please."

"I just miss you, Muhibbah. Is it a crime that I'm in love with you?" She was silent over that. Because she might not look like it, but she knew love in all its shades and colors and this wasn't love, that she could tell.

He kept on talking to himself on her way back to the house while all she said to him was 'uhm, okay, yes and no' that was it and when she arrived home, she excused herself and ended the call before she paid the tricycle man and got into the house.

Baban Fatima wasn't home today and she was glad. Instead of him, she found the annoying sister of Maman Fatima, whom Muhibbah believed was the one instigating all sorts of thoughts into her about Muhibbah being interested in Baban Fatima ad that was so funny to her. Because of all men, Baban Fatima? If only they knew how irritated she got by him and if she had a choice, she really wouldn't have stayed in his house.

"Ya Hindu, don't tell me you still haven't thrown this woman out of your house? It's the type of these women that come to stay with you only for them to get married to your husband in the end. I told you how I heard her greeting Baban Fatima that day, her voice sounding all sultry and flirty."

Maman Fatima chuckled softly. "What do you expect from a spinster, Saratu? I know what she's planning, claiming to be a lecturer when all she does is chase people's husbands and follow random men, I'm aware. I'm just waiting for her rent fee to finish so I can send her packing."

Muhibbah had all the intentions of walking past them to her chamber but what Maman Fatima said was triggering to the point that she didn't know how it happened, she just found herself walking toward them until she stood in front of them.

"I'm so sorry to have interrupted your conversation but I know you both know that I can hear all that you've said. I know that you all are entitled to your opinions of me and I in no way have the right to change it. It's not like I even care about what you two think of me. All that matters is the relationship between me and Allah and he knows who I am and what I do. So it doesn't matter. But I think I need to make a clarification on what you're thinking and making your sister to think that way too, Saratu..."

They both were glaring at her, but she didn't mind. She was going to say it once and for all. She had never replied to any of the shades they always threw at her. It could be that she was already in a bad mood today, but she couldn't just let it be.

"I'm not interested in Baban Fatima. Ya Allah," she chuckled softly. She can't even believe that they'd think she was. Wasn't it obvious how much she was disgusted by him? "I am in fact, disgusted by his attention on me. And whenever I greet him? It's nothing but respect, I promise. So please, I feel insulted whenever you think that I'm interested in Baban Fatima, because wallah I'm not and never will be."

From that, she walked away, ignoring how she heard both of them insulting the life out of her, especially Maman Fatima that felt belittled by Muhibbah from all that she said. She just ignored them, smiling, because she felt a bit relieved as she walked into her room and slumped on the bed.

She sent Sareena a vn about what happened and it took less than a minute before Sareena's call came through her phone and Muhibbah laughed so hard while narrating everything to her. She didn't know why she had never told a soul about this certain student of hers, yet she thought of him and their encounter with every chance her mind get.

She quickly brushed her mind off and fixed her attention back to Sareena as she told her that Bilkisu's boyfriend, Mujaheed was sending his people this weekend and Muhibbah instantly wished she can choose not to go back home but she knew it was just a waste of time and emotions of she tried to say something like that, because Mama can even come to Dutsinma to get her by her own self.

Muhibbah knew exactly what she'd have to face if she attended the sa Rana (engagement ceremony). She knew both her Aunties, Mama's friends and other family members will make sure she felt so low of herself that now her youngest sibling was getting married and she still didn't even have a boyfriend. But since she couldn't evade it, she just had to make herself stronger.

She dreaded Friday and even though she spent the rest of the days making herself stronger and emotionally getting herself ready so she wouldn't have to break down, she couldn't stay as strong as she had prepared herself. Since morning when Mama's friends started trooping into the house, Muhibbah made sure she plastered a smile on her face and acted unbothered but none of it worked.

It was either 'when are we coming to yours?' Or 'Muhibbah it seems like you're really enjoying this single life' or 'you'll be 30 years soon o, make sure you stop being choosy and bring forth a husband' one of them even looked her in the eyes and said 'even the girls you're old enough to be their mother is getting married. Do you think it's a flex being a spinster, Muhibbah? Get married before you rot and not even an old man will find you attractive, ah toh!'

She slumped onto her bed after making sure the door was closed before she let the tears that were threatening to fall cascade down to her cheeks. Even Bilkisu's friends were throwing shades at her and she couldn't say a word because saying a word would mean being at war with Mama and she wasn't strong enough for that.

She wiped that tear only to have more to cascade and from there, more and more tears kept falling until she couldn't control them anymore. There were knocks on the door and some women saying Mama asked them to keep the cartons of biscuits in her room. Muhibbah had no choice but to wipe her tears before she got to her feet, took her veil and left the house.

Damn whoever didn't say she left because she was jealous. She knew she wasn't and that's all that mattered.

She kept walking in the area without knowing where she was going. It was Barhim Estate, and she didn't know she had walked for so long until she saw herself in the last gate meanwhile their house was in the first. She sighed and palmed her face, only to realize that she had been crying.

Upon the realization, Muhibbah burst into tears, looking around until she found a slop and sat down on it. She didn't care if the people of the house will come out to find her crying in front of their house. It was night already, so no one will see her face clearly. Even if they did, Muhibbah gave no damn. She was hurt enough as it is.

She felt the presence of someone beside her and her heart lost a beat. She didn't know how long it had taken her crying there all she knew was, she had been crying for so long and it was probably time she walked back home before someone looked for her and they'd think she had gone out. And it would be so easy for them to think she went out to do something bad. Particularly with a man.

She wiped off her eyes and got to her feet. Without a word, Muhibbah started walking but felt the presence of someone behind her, which she knew would likely still be the person that sat beside her on the slop. He kept following her, because from the sound of his shoe and what she could see, he was a man. She got tired of him walking behind her so she turned to tell him off.

"May I ask why you're following me please?" She asked and then his face came to view, shocking her to her bones.

"I'm sorry..." She cut him off even before he finished what he was saying. She didn't care if he saw her crying or looking all messy as she was, she was simply fed up.

"What is it now? I begged you to stop staring at me and now you're stalking me?! Please let me be, what do you want, Bilaal? I'm really not in for any sort of sweet nothings you're going to say. And I don't need your apology either. Just don't tell me you've been following me since when I left our house?"

He was silent that she turned, anger flaring from her nostrils as she cried and yelled in anger, "Answer me, damn it! What exactly do you want for me?! Or do you think I'm so pathetic that you have to look over me?!"

"I'm sorry..." She slapped him so hard across his right cheek that his next words were cut.

"Take your damn sorry and get out of my sight, never to return again!" She bellowed, hissed angrily before she turned to leave, leaving him cold and shocked to his bones. She cried, "I hate this! I hate everyone!" She didn't look back to see the look on his face and whether or not he was staring at her.

Who the hell did he think he was? Her caretaker? Or was she so pitiful that everyone will think they can offer her comfort? And even if she was, her student should never be in the position to offer her one.

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