Certain Things - James Arthur 

"And there's certain things that I adore. And there's certain things that I ignore. But I'm certain that I'm yours." 

ISABELLA

I couldn't seem to get Harry's question out of my mind. His proposition to move in with him was tempting. Very tempting. But there was still a part of me that was screaming "It's too soon".  Was it though? 

Harry and I had been together for seven months now. That wasn't even a year yet! It felt rushed. My heart was screaming to take the chance. To do something that I wouldn't have ever done before back in New York. Last year, moving in with a boyfriend of less than a year would have been pure idiocy. My mind was shouting no. The risk was too high. Moving in would make it serious. Extremely serious. There was a difference between playing house and actually living in the same one. 

Was I ready for this step? Most of all, were we ready for this step? Our last fight had almost caused us to break up. We weren't on steady ground. I wasn't sure if moving in together would be the most healthiest decision for our relationship. 

Or maybe it could be. Maybe it was what we needed to take this seriously. No more secrets. No more lies. No other people- just us. Harry and Izzy. Izzy and Harry. Us and only us. 

My mind was a mess. Clouded judgement making it's way over my body. Everything was fuzzy. My uncertainty was a clear red flag that us living together would not be a good idea. I wasn't one to listen to the warning signs. I had a tendency to avoid them and to do it anyway; even if it was a stupid decision. 

Why was this so hard? 

I knew that I didn't have to make my decision right away. After our milkshake fight, Harry once again made it clear that I could take my time deciding. He didn't need to know right away.

However, I did know that Jaz and I's yearly lease on the apartment was coming to an end. Two weeks to be specific. I had two weeks to decided if I wanted to continue living here with Jaz, or if I wanted to take the risk and move in with Harry. 

I clear my mind of these impending decisions, turning back to the pile of books that needed to be sorted. Robert had a shipment of new novels. A new romantic series. It was claimed to be the new 50 Shades of Grey. I skimmed over the back cover, intrigued by it's plot. I wasn't one for an erotic novella geared towards middle aged women, but there was something about it that intrigued me. Perhaps it was time to expand from my classic literature and into something more... raunchy and exciting? 

I open the book, turning the crisp new pages, and settling for the first page. Over the next few moments, I get carried away into the life of two risqué characters. I felt my cheeks flush over the explicit details of the characters sexual escapades. Their love was raw. Animalistic. Something that I had never witnessed first hand. 

Unable to keep up, I quickly close the book. "Wow," I breathe. With a shake of my head, I continue to place the books in it's new spot. Ignoring the x-rated ideas that begin to flutter into my mind of things I could try with Harry. I wasn't one to initiate more exciting sexual adventures. 

Ty had been rather enthusiastic when it came to sex. He hadn't been shy with his body. His confidence rubbing off of me whenever we would spend time together. We had explored different things; ranging from edible treats to more... visual stimulations. He opened me up to the world of sex. Introducing me to the act. 

Chase, rather, was vanilla. He had preferred to stick to the wholesome "love making" as you will. Granted we were only together for a few months, he didn't excite me as much as I had hoped for. The most exciting thing we'd try would be sex in the morning. It lacked thrill. Excitement. 

But with Harry, sex was much more than it was with Chase and Ty. It was the true definition of making love. He was gentle but could still be rough. The mere act of being with him was excitement enough. Yet, I couldn't help but wonder if we were still playing it safe. The sexual goddess inside of me thrived for something more. A bit of spice. Not only did I trust Harry with my heart, I trusted Harry with my body. What made it the most special, was that we didn't need sex to feel intimate. Sure, it was a great sense of intimacy for us both, but I still felt intimate with him when we'd sit and talk about books. Or whenever he'd play me his favourite song and we'd lay together for hours on end. 

Everything with Harry was exciting. Maybe the next bit of excitement that we needed wasn't a BDSM twist on our sex life. Perhaps instead it was something more grand. A bigger gesture of love. Maybe what we needed next was for me to move in with him. 

Still, I wasn't sure. The next thing that I needed to do was to talk to Jaz. I needed to see where she was at and what she thought about this. I didn't want to leave her alone in an apartment that cost more than what we both made in a year. Before I could make any final decision, I knew what I had to do. 

- 

The comforting smell of pumpkin filled the small apartment. The rain pelted against the kitchen window. The gloomy dark sky casting a dark glow over the grey streets. My eyes shift over the kitchen countertop. The small dinner I made for Jaz and I keeping warm. 

I wipe my hands against a dish cloth. The ticking of the kitchen clock too loud in this quiet room. I look over the time. She should be home any minute now. 

I felt nervous. Anxiety over our impending conversation taking over my senses. I wasn't sure how to approach the topic of me moving out. I wasn't sure how she'd react and whether or not she'd respect it. I knew that Harry wasn't her favourite person in the world. She mostly tolerated him for Ben and I's sake. His actions against me left him on the top of her hit list.

"Any guy that makes my best friend cry is an absolute idiot. I will not hesitate to hurt him if he does it again." She told me the night I came home crying after seeing Harry dance with that girl. I had to hold Jaz back from driving up to Manchester and beating him up herself. She wasn't exactly thrilled when I said we were okay and no longer fighting. But she knew that I loved him and that he loved me. We weren't perfect, but really, which relationship was? 

The front door shuts. The clicking of her heels vibrate against the floor of our entry way. "It smells delicious in here!" Her freshly dyed blonde hair peeks over the corner. 

"Hey." I greet her, carrying the last dish towards our unused dining room table. "I thought I'd make dinner." 

"What a lovely housewife, you are." She jokes, her long coat slung over her arm. "Let me go put my stuff away first. I'll be right back." 

"Sounds good." 

Jaz comes back into the kitchen, changed into a pair of old leggings and an Oxford sweater. "I didn't know you went to Oxford." I comment, not remembering any mention of the ivy league school. 

She laughs, shaking her head. "No. I didn't go. Ben did." 

"Right," I laugh lightly. "What is he again?" 

"Pediatrician." 

"That's good of him. I knew he was a doctor. I couldn't remember what kind." I add, passing her a dinner plate. 

"Thanks," she takes it from my hands, putting it down in front of her. "Yes, he's a doctor. Ben is so smart! I sometimes feel dumb with he begins to talk about all his medical terminology. It's super hot though, when he gets into doctor mode, so I don't complain." 

"Didn't you get accepted into Oxford too?" I dig into the chicken on my plate, savoring the taste on my tongue. I had forgotten how much I loved cooking. 

"That I did." She chuckles, "Mommy and daddy were all excited about me becoming a business major just like them. I couldn't do it though. It wasn't my scene at all. Sure, I loved academics but I love beauty more." 

"That's why you moved out?" I ask her. 

She nods her head slowly, "Yeah. They didn't accept my decision to not go to Uni and take a gap year. Gap year then turned into working at a beauty salon. Now I'm the head hairstylist there. Let's just say, mommy and daddy aren't too thrilled. Oh well." She chuckles to herself as she takes a sip from her wine glass. "This is amazing by the way. Why the sudden decision to make dinner? No that I'm complaining! You haven't been home in a while. Not since you and Harry made up. I take it you two are doing alright?" She sets her wine glass down, her eyes shifting over from her plate to me. 

"We're doing really well." 

"That's good." She smiles softly at me. "I forgot to ask. Did you end up taking the internship?" 

"I did!" I smile broadly at her. I had almost forgotten to tell her about my answer. After much thought, the internship seemed like the right decision to further my future business goals. If I wanted to be successful, I needed the experience to bring me there. "I started yesterday."

"That's amazing." She tells me, once she swallows another sip of wine. "I'm happy for you." I don't say anything else. The topic of me moving out coming back to mind. Jaz looks at me skeptically. "What is it?" She asks hesitantly. 

Before I tell her about what is going on, I take a sip from my own wine glass. "Harry asked me to move in with him." I tell her point blank. I was never one to beat around the bush. 

Her eyes go wide, "Holy shit." She shakes her head with her brows furrowed. "He asked you to move in with him?" 

"Yep." I chuckle uncomfortably. The way she said it made it sound like it was maddening. That it was almost impossible for Harry to want to live with me. 

"That's insane." 

"Not really." I feel myself grow defensive. "I practically live there already." 

She huffs. Her fingers run through her blonde hair. "Do you think it's a good idea? Harry isn't exactly the most reliable person on the planet." 

"I love him." I interrupt. "Sure we're not perfect, but we love each other. I think this is the next step that we need in our relationship. It's not that I don't love living with you, Jaz. I do! The past year living here has been amazing." 

"I love living with you too." She smiles at me. "If you want to move in with him, then I'm not going to stop you." 

"What about the rent?" 

"Well, I know that Tiff was talking about finding a new place. I could always bring up the idea of her moving in here instead." She shrugs. "Don't worry about me. Make this decision for yourself. Do this for you." 

Do this for you. This brings me back to my list of fears and things I wanted to do with my life. I said I wanted to do things for me, not other people. "You're right." I finally say. "Is it completely crazy though?" 

"Of course it is," she laughs. "But love is crazy." 

I knew that she had a point. Love was crazy. Being in love even crazier. My love for Harry was crazy but not loving him was insanity. 

"Okay," the word slips out of my tongue easily. "I think I made my decision." 

- 

The nerves in the pit of my stomach seemed to have intensified the moment his curly locks game into view. I sat patiently in my chair at Brerin's, preoccupied by the piece of pie in front of me. Apparently this was Erin's new dessert pick. I'm not sure what kind of pie it was. It was delicious, whatever it was. It had been a week since my dinner with Jaz. Over the past week I had been thinking about nothing else but my decision. Holding my answer until I was ready to tell him, until I was completely certain this was what I wanted. I knew and was ready to tell him. 

"Hey!" Harry greets me. He was out of breath as he kisses my forehead. "Sorry I'm late." 

"It's fine." I smile over at him, bringing the fork to my lips. "Where were you?" 

"With Kit. He needed me to help him move some of his stuff from his old flat to his new one." He explains, grabbing my fork and taking a piece of pie for himself. "My car decided to break down so I had to rush here from the tube station."

"You took the tube?" I exclaim shocked. Harry hadn't been one for public transportation. Always preferred to get himself from one point to the other on his own. 

"Fucking disgusting is what it is. Some prick decided to take a piss in the car I was in. He was drunk off his ass and it's not even fucking noon yet. Stunk up the whole damn place. Never doing that again." He grunts. 

"You poor thing," I coo. "Here, have a slice of pie." I pass him the rest of my unclassified pie piece. He takes it gratefully, ignoring my playful stare. 

"This is good," he comments. "Bumble berry." 

"What is that exactly?" 

"A mix of berries." He explains to me, taking another bite of pie. "Fucking delicious is what it is." I hum in response, taking a sip from my tea. 

"What was it that you wanted to talk about?" Harry then asks. Bringing me back to the main purpose for our mid-morning pie date.

"Right." I sit up straighter. He looks at me worriedly. I reach out for his hand, squeezing it in my own. "I made my decision." 

"Oh? About moving in?" I give him a short nod. He quirks an eyebrow, "And what would that be?" 

I take in a deep breath. "Yes," I exhale. "I'll move in with you." 

The worry lines automatically disappear. His shoulders visibly relax and genuine excitement flashes behind his eyes. He squeezes my hand and a large grin appears on his face. "You will?" 

"I will."

Harry stands up quickly, pulling me out of my seat. He gives me a strong hug. His minty smell engulfing my senses. "This is going to be good, baby. This will be good for us."

He puts me back down, my back hitting the table. "Shit, sorry." He rubs his hands over my back, "You okay?" 

I kiss his cheek, laughing lightly. "I'm fine. I'm fine." He brushes his thumb over my jaw. His bright green eyes shining down at me. He leans in and kisses my lips softly. 

"Good." He kisses my forehead once more before taking his seat once again at the table. "Your lease ends next week, yeah?"

"It does." I confirm. 

He licks his lips. His brows furrow in thought. He runs his fingers over his lips before bringing it through his hair. "Move in tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I look at him like he's crazy. "Isn't that a bit too soon." 

"No. Not at all. The sooner the better." He leans over the table, his hands capturing both of mine. "I want to live with you. Start this next chapter of our lives. Baby, move in tomorrow. Take the risk." 

"Okay." I say, not thinking twice about it. "I'll move in tomorrow." 

"Perfect." He looks at his watch, "Don't you have to get to your internship soon?" 

I freeze. "What time is it?" 

"It's almost 11:50." 

"Fuck!" I jump out of my seat, grabbing my coat and purse. "I have to be there in forty minutes and it's a twenty minute train ride. I have to go! I completely lost track of time." I kiss his cheek before rushing to the door. "I love you!" I call out before I am half way across the street and towards the station.